Disclaimer: Story written for entertainment purposes.
Author's Note: This one has been bothering me so that it had to be written. I'm sure that this won't have as many fans as an SN fic but it's something that I needed to do. I hope you enjoy this short little drama that I needed to get out of my system.
Praestolatio Prestolatio is Latin for "the waiting for, expectation."
Commoneo is Latin for "to remember, recollect."
Summary: Continuation to The Eclipse Series Epilogue. What happens after one year?
Praestolatio Prestolatio
Chapter One: Commoneo
A year had passed and when she looks back on what she'd accomplished during that time, she was proud. She hopes that he would be proud of her too. Not that she was going to race over to tell him first thing and gush about it. But she likes to think that if he had been with her and seen her accomplishments, he would have been proud too. He had never been far from her thoughts, ever. She thought of him even when she was not even trying to. It was not a rare thing for her to be going about her tasks and duties and stop to think of how he would have handled a situation and what his reaction would be to what she was doing. He was perhaps the most reliable, rational man she has ever met. Noctis usually did not even bother to ask before Sapien was already looking for a solution. He was just that type of man. Helpful, resourceful and brilliant.
It was an example she had tried to follow. She had always frustrated herself when someone else always had to save her when she was in trouble. As a Crystal Bearer, she needed to be the savior, not the victim. It was her responsibility. So it makes her love deepen when she thinks about how that had never stopped him. Noctis had always been the one with the power but it was Sapien who helped direct it. She remembers all those times she heard them telling her their stories about the times they had to invent ways to help Noctis train his powers. Sapien was the one with the ideas while Vires and Des were the ones that went through with the experiments. He was someone that did not need the powers of a Crystal to make him effective or great. There was just the natural born talent already inside of him. He used his head and actually thought while everyone else reacted.
Among his many talents, he also seemed to be a mind reader too. She can't even list the amount of times Noctis or anyone else had only to look at him and he already knew what they needed him to do. All within a simple look. Her mind goes back to all those times she had caught him looking at her. She had never felt self conscious or uncomfortable when he looked at her. He never looked at her as if he were checking her out. As if he were trying to undress her neither did he look at her in any way that was considered crude. His stare was never lustful or blank. It always felt like he was trying to see how she worked. He always watched carefully. Carefully in the way you would stare at a painting to catch even the littlest details of the brush's strokes.
Despite not being a Crystal Bearer himself, Sapien was easily the second most powerful man in Nihilsomno. The other male Crystal Bearers were not as influential as he was either. His position of always being at the right hand of Noctis helped but he wouldn't have always been there if he wasn't who he was. Noctis counted on Sapien for things that he would never count on anyone else for. So everyone else did too. Of the three brothers, Sapien was the closest to Noctis. Even though she's never really seen the both of them talk for very long. Des and even Vires were more vocal in a crowd than Sapien. Oh, he spoke when he needed to and he never hesitated in adding his own dry comments. He just, was not boisterous like the other two were. What he did say was always with the same tone that was deceptively flat. Not emotionless and stiff like Fulgur's, just dry. It was hard to tell what he was thinking, which made it sort of disconcerting when he always seemed to know what everyone else was.
Throughout this year, the small packages came at regular intervals. They were hardly ever from the same place and they never had a card. The lack of a card never upset her. Neither did the almost systematic way the packages arrived. They always came right on time. She could almost set a clock to them. None of these things bothered her because that was exactly who he was. A card would have been a little much since she knew he was not a man that would break out into pose. It left an openness, as if by accepting these packages, he did not hold her to any sort of obligation. The almost systematic way that the packages arrived was so much like him too. They were constant. They were reliable. They always came when she knew they would. Never late and always on time. Every two weeks, on a Monday. They were like little pick me ups to make a traditionally dreary day cheerful. Even the thoughtfulness of that was endearing. Nobody looked forward to Mondays but he had her looking forward to them every two weeks.
Given the regularity of their arrivals, it was hardly a surprise to see that she had quite a few of them. Right now the count was at sixty five. Fifty during the year of silence and another fifteen for seven months until she had to leave for Nihilsomno. She has already decided that she will be leaving on a Tuesday. Even the amount of them would have made you wonder if he would run out of ideas of what to send her. But that would mean that you had forgotten that he was Sapien. A man who always had an idea. The fact that he had none regarding how much she had always loved him was rather confounding. He who could read people so well, could not read that in her eyes.
The creativity in the selection of little gifts was always a shock. When packages came from places that she had been, they were always things that she had enjoyed while there. How he even knew about them was a little scary considering he had not come along on the majority of the trips the Crystal Bearers had taken together. While Noctis was away, it was Sapien who had to stay behind and make sure all was well in Noctis' absence. When packages arrived from places she had not been to, they were often little keepsakes that she would have most likely have chosen for herself. If Noctis could not attend, it was often that Sapien would travel in his stead. So she knew he had not ordered them but must have selected them during his travels.
Half as much as I'll think of you.
She still marvels at those words. She wonders what he thinks of when he thinks about her. It had to be frequently if those words were true and she already knew they must be because he wouldn't have said it if it had been otherwise. It did not seem possible to think of him doubly when he was always so much on her mind already. More often than not, she found herself looking at something and wondering if he would like it. Then she would wonder if that was what he asked himself whenever he chose something to be sent in another package to her. He must. Somehow that made her feel even more connected to him. That, even though, there was so much distance between them, they were thinking about each other.
There were times she was almost desperate to tell him just how much he influenced her. How much he guided her with his example of calm consideration and selflessness. She does not think she will ever perfect the calm part but she was at least trying to. Sometimes she wondered if he was expecting a response from her. More than once she had been tempted to send him a package for a change. But somehow she knew that he was not expecting her to do anything. So, when she felt the pain of missing him too much and wanting to blurt out her feelings, she simply sat amongst the lavender flowers that he had placed there for her. It was not even a question worth asking that she had meticulously cared for them so that they stayed exactly as he had wanted them to be for her. It never failed to make her smile.
At night, she needed only to stare at her vanity to be reminded of him again. In a place she could easily see from any part of her room, was by far her favorite of his gifts. It was a delicate porcelain figurine that was about the size of her finger. The details of the face were a little fuzzy, given how small it was but she had known right away why he had chosen it for her. Not only did the figurine have hair the same color as hers, it was holding a bouquet of lavender flowers. There weren't any words to describe just how touched she had been when she had seen it. How it touched her even now whenever she looked at it. If she hadn't already been in love with him as deeply as she was, she was deadly positive she would have been when she had first seen the figurine the day that it had arrived. She just wishes she could have known his thoughts when he had seen it.
When Stella had reached her seventh month of pregnancy, she received two letters. One had been from Stella, letting her know that staying as long as she had during Lux's arrival was too much to ask of her again. That Procella had offered to stay and she didn't need to worry about someone keeping the boys in line and keeping her company at the same time. The second letter had been from Noctis. It had clearly been written after Stella must have told him about her own letter. In it, he had asked for her to come anyway because his brothers reacted better to her than they did to Procella. She had laughed so hard that she had to slap her hand over her mouth. She suspected that Noctis was deliberately leaving out the fact that he reacted better to her than to Procella the most. The icy queen had always made Noctis uneasy.
Des wouldn't have really cared. Procella's stony demeanor had never stopped him from whatever he wanted to say to her. It never gave him any pause when she'd turn to glare at him either. He seemed immune. So he was not the one who wouldn't react well. Vires never really interacted with the other Crystal Bearers except her and Vitrum, but that was because they were young. He never gave a hint that he would react badly to Procella at any time. She can't think of a time when she had seen Sapien speak to Procella either. Though they must have talked on several occasions. He reacted to her as he reacted to everyone. A look devoid of emotion and a dry tone. So the only real person she could think of who would be the most bothered would be Noctis. She laughs again when she thinks of this. Procella was actually very nice. If she was there, she could ask her and Stella how she was going to act around Sapien. They would definitely be a lot of help.
Regardless of how funny she thought it was, she would go for Noctis' sake and she wouldn't laugh at him for asking either. She loved him too much to do that. Even though she knows his brothers wouldn't have spared him. She's just honored and tickled that Noctis was asking her for a favor. There really wasn't anything she wouldn't do for him. It goes without saying that she is delighted to go because it creates so many more opportunities to see Sapien again. She's only unsure if her heart is going to be able to stay in her chest long enough for her to actually see him.
The trip itself had been long. It was always long and it didn't help any that she couldn't sleep. She had made sure to leave on a Tuesday after a scheduled package arrived for her the day before. It had been a small bottle of lavender colored sand with miniature seashells mixed in. She had never even know that such a color of sand even existed and couldn't help the laugh that escaped her mouth when she had lifted up the bottle. Without really knowing why, she had carefully packed her porcelain figurine in her bag to bring along with her. Even though it hadn't made sense for her to take it with her, she felt like she needed to. Maybe she would get a chance to show just how much she loved it. How was she going to bring it up? She didn't even know how she was going to look at him without everyone knowing exactly what she felt towards him. What was he going to say when they bumped into each other?
Upon her arrival, it was Vires who waited for her by the car at the end of the airfield. His scarred face was smiling while his arms were crossed before his chest. She watched his eyes light up in pride as she stepped off her airship and walked towards him before he was engulfing her in one of his bear hugs.
"It's so good to see, Little One," he says when he had withdrawn to take a closer look at her. "You look lovely."
"Thank you, Vires," she answers with a smile. "It's so good to see you too!"
"Come, I've got to get you to the castle," he says reaching down to grab hold of her bags and loading them into the car.
"How is everyone?" she asks.
"Everyone's doing good," he answers kindly. He opens the door for her and carefully closes it behind her. When he slides into the seat on the other side, the driver starts forward. "Noct's doing his fretting over Stella."
She giggles at the look on his face. "Is Procella here yet?"
"She's been here for a couple days," he answers easily. "Bossing everyone around as she always does."
"So that means you stay out of her way?" she teases.
"I've no interest in getting frostbite," he grumbles, making her laugh again.
She can see him smirk from the corner of her eyes.
"Sapien and Des? What are you they up?"
"Des is trying to distract Noct with Lux, while Procella does her own fretting over Stella," he answers. "I'm sure you'll see Noctis before you see Des though."
She nods knowingly.
"Sapien's disappeared like he always does," Vires says with a shrug. "He's been busy the last week making all sorts of calls."
"I hope it's not serious," she says with genuine concern.
"He never stops to take a breathe," says Vires with another shrug. "Since Lux isn't going to be the baby anymore, Sapien's been busy building the nursery too."
"He's doing that too?" she asks.
"Isn't much he doesn't do," answers Vires, smiling down at her. "Now tell me what kind of girl your brother's marrying. Is she nice to you?"
She smiles at how protective he sounds and tells him about her brother's fiance the rest of the ride to the castle.
When they reached the castle, she had not known exactly what to expect but had already formed a pretty good idea how things might go. She already knew that Sapien would not meet her at the door. It was just not his way. The last time she had come, there really had not been anyone to greet her until Des had stumbled onto her and thought she was someone else. She would definitely not like to start off in that way again. Her first destination was going to be her rooms so that she could breathe and calm her shaking nerves. Then she was going to see Lux. She wanted to see just how he had grown since the infant she had seen a year ago. If he was the son of Stella and Noctis, there was no doubt that he was, then he would be walking already.
"You really don't have to carry all my bags, Vires," she protests as he somehow manages to keep a hold on all of them at once.
"Let me do this, Mira," he grunts. "They won't even let me drive a car nowadays. I can at least feel useless helping you with your bags."
She giggles at his reasoning and is forced to walk behind him as they make their way up the stairs to her usual rooms.
"What is Lux like now?" she asks. She had prepared for her visit with many gifts for the little prince and she was eager to see what he would like.
"If you let him, he'll run clear across the hall before you manage to catch him," says Vires with a face mixed with worry and pride. "Des has had to watch his mouth more because Lux will repeat certain words."
"He talks already?" she asks in surprise.
"One words here and there, but he's starting," answers Vires.
She didn't know too much about babies but she was sure that they didn't usually speak until after two.
"He's a little genius," states Vires with a grin. "Gets the jump on us all the time."
"I bet he does," she grins.
"You don't have to walk with me the whole way. I know you want to see everyone else," says Vires. "Go on ahead and say your hellos, Little One."
"No, I couldn't..."
"Go on," he answers with a jerk of his head. "I'll catch up with you later."
She could almost kiss his cheek in gratitude. Instead she gives him a grateful smile and walks as quickly as the bag she's holding will allow her. They had already reached her floor so she turns around to go back down the stairs. The last time Stella had been pregnant, they had prepared rooms on the ground floor for her. There was no reason to think it'd be different this time, so she goes to those rooms first. She had been just about to turn a corner to get to that wing of the house, when she heard two voices talking. The tones are a little hushed, so she stops just at the corner so as not to invade their moment. Then her heart pounds when she recognizes the two people that are speaking so quietly.
"So what kind of dress would you prefer I put on?" asks Procella.
It's a strange and not entirely appropriate question. Not only did the question sound very intimate, it was the tone in which Procella had asked it. It had sounded teasing and flirtatious. In a way you would not have used on someone who was an acquaintance, let alone a friend. It was a tone of a lover.
There is a pause as if there is some silent deliberating being done before she hears a response. She can almost feel the tension between them, though she can't actually see them standing together.
"I want you to put on one that has a long flowing skirt," Sapien's voice replies.
She has to almost slap a hand over her mouth to keep the gasp from escaping her mouth. He had, actually answered the question? Like it had been something they always talked about.
"I want to see the skirts to have creases as if a breeze has caught them," he finishes.
"Hair?" asks Procella in that same teasing and flirty tone.
She pictures the smile that must be on Procella's face.
"Down," he answers shortly. "I want it to be cascading down past the shoulders and along the back."
"So very well thought out," points out Procella in approval.
"I have pictured it in my head," he answers.
She can't hear anymore. Her legs take backward steps so she doesn't have to hear anymore of this conversation. It wasn't proper for her to eavesdrop. Let alone listen in on a conversation that was obviously supposed to be a private one. She turns around and when she feels its safe, makes a run for the door that would take her to the courtyard. It was the only way to get to Stella's rooms without having to pass the couple who were most likely continuing their conversation on what dress Sapien wanted Procella to wear for him. Most importantly it was outside. Outside meant air that had suddenly felt stuck in her throat. She could not breathe!
As if listening to them talking about something only a couple would talk about was not bad enough, what made it worse was how Sapien had spoken the last line. It had been in an almost breathy sort of voice as if he had not only pictured it, but he had dreamt of it in a very... descriptive way. There had been an actual emotion in his voice when he had said it. Not the usual dry, purposely toneless way he usually spoke. To think that he had used that tone while speaking to Procella. He had spoken with a depth of emotion that she has never heard in his voice. His voice was always the same except in that one line, in that one sentence. Her mind fills with images of what his face must have looked like when he had looked at Procella while saying the words. A loud gasping breathe escapes her lips then as she shakes her head to try and block that image out.
Her feet somehow get her through the courtyard and through the doors on the other side of the wing. Stella's rooms were only a few doors down now, but she could not face Stella now. She couldn't face anyone right now. Not when her heart felt like it had been ripped out of her chest. She's just surprised that there aren't tears streaming down her face already. Somehow they're stuck at the corners of her eyes. Stuck like the breath that she can't swallow. She bites her lip and wipes her eyes, because crying right now wasn't going to do her any good. It would only upset Stella to see her this way and she did not want Lux's first impressions of her to be of a red eyed banchee.
This didn't make any sense. There was no way that she had misread everything this entire year. The garden of lavender. The packages. Those things could not have been made up in her mind. Those things were real. Men just did not do things like that for someone that they didn't... but then, the card that had been delivered with the letter had not been signed. The packages always came without a return address. She had just assumed it was Sapien's doing. She's never even seen his handwriting before. What if it hadn't been him at all? What if it had been someone else and her own feelings clouded her from seeing it? What if her dream of him telling her she had already broken his heart was just the creations of a girl who was so in love, she was blind to everyone else? She feels like such a fool! With a shaky hand she reaches up and touches her forehead. Sapien clearly had feelings for Procella. So who had been the one sending her all those gifts?
"Heartbreaker!"
The shout is enough to startle her out of her miserable thoughts and look at the source.
"Des!" she cries in relief. If anyone had the ability to make her forget for a moment, it would be him.
She can't help the laugh when she sees him running like a fool towards her and reaches her arms out wide to hug him.
"You're going to have to stop getting more beautiful, Mira," he says with a shake of his head when they separate. "Or else I'm really going to think you're a maneater."
"You just had to bring that up again, didn't you?" she says rolling her eyes and giving him a punch on the arm.
"Ouch! Man, you got stronger too!" Des cries, while rubbing his arm. "What are you doing snooping around the hallways like that anyway? I'd say you were on the prowl for unsuspecting fellas like me."
"I was just soaking in the moment," she defends.
"Whatcha got there in the bag? Bow and arrow in there? Are you Cupid's lovely apprentice?"
"Right now it wouldn't be your heart I'd be aiming for," she threatens with a quirked lip. She adjusts the bag on her shoulder because she doesn't trust the look in his eye right now.
Des tilts his head with that mischievous grin that can only lead to trouble and it's the only warning she has before he snatches it from her shoulder and makes a mad dash for Stella's rooms.
She felt like she was fourteen all over again as she tries to rush up to him without running. Had she still been fourteen, she knows she would have dashed right after him, but not now.
"Noct! Stella! Little Misfit! The air's brought Cupid's apprentice bearing gifts!" cries Des as he makes his way into the rooms.
She reaches the doorway just after he finishes his announcement and sees the royal family together for the first time in a year. There are tears in her eyes again but they're of joy this time as she sees them sitting on the floor together. It looks as if they're in the middle of watching Lux as he places one block on top of another. Three pairs of eyes lift up to look at her at the same time.
"Mira!" cries Stella excitedly. She looks as pregnant as she had the last time too, only this time, there was one more to the party. Noctis is sitting right beside her and he smiles at her in greeting. She smiles back at the both of them before her wine colored eyes look down at the little one.
Lux blinks up at her with curious blue eyes. There is a block in his hand, poised just to place on the pile, but she's distracted him. He looks so much like Noctis that she thinks she really will look like a red faced banchee anyway. His hair is as wild as his father's. All black spikes that will never allow a brush to flatten them. He has the round chubby cheeks that only a baby can possess that make you want to kiss them just on reflex. They seem the only part of him that is chubby because he's very slim and she can tell from the length of his legs that he will be tall. He looks like he's taller than another baby his own age. In those curious blue eyes, she saw many things. A sharp intelligence and quick comprehension. An awareness that was rare in ones so young. He was Noctis, in baby form.
"Lunae," says Stella softly and those blue eyes leave hers to look at his mother. "This is Mira." Stella points a finger at her. "Can you say hello?"
It's something every parent says to their child when meeting someone new and she doesn't expect him to say hello. She smiles down at him before slowly lowering herself to sit in front of him instead. Not too close that it would scare him but not too far either. He does not say anything for several moments as he stares at her. It was a look she's seen on Noctis' face countless times. It was the look Noctis gave to people he was assessing.
"Lo' Mia," he says finally before placing the block on top of the pile carefully.
She's so stunned that she doesn't say anything back. At least, not until he looks back up at her as if he's not sure he's said the right thing.
"Hello Lux," she manages to say back.
He smiles at her before looking at his father and reaching out his arms to be held.
"Little Misfit!" cries Des and it startles her out of her amazement. "You're not going to ignore me. I have gifts!"
"You mean, Mira brought gifts," corrects Noctis as he lifts Lux in his arms.
"Oh Mira, you really should not have," says Stella with a motherly smile on her face.
"Of course I had to," she replies with a grin. "Who else am I going to spoil?"
"He gets spoiled enough," says Noctis. Father and son have mirroring looks as he and Lux stare at each other. "But I think that your Aunt Mira has gotten you just the thing."
Lux merely smiles in response and looks at his mother. His small hand reaches for Stella but not for her to take him. Stella seems to know this already because she merely reaches over and takes his small hand in hers on Noctis' shoulder. His other small hand was curled loosely against Noctis' neck. It looks like he needed to feel a connection with both parents at the same time He was definitely a Mama's Boy though. She could tell from the way he seemed to have a special smile just for his mother.
"Okay, I got one here. Who is this for Heartbreaker?" asks Des as he rummages through the bag. It must be a common thing because Des doesn't seem to even notice.
"Des, not in front of Lunae," says Stella.
"We would not want Lux to repeat anymore of your nicknames," states Noctis and he and Stella both give Des a knowing look.
"Heh," Des says, looking bashful but they all know he's going to slip again.
"Des!"
"Yes, Little Misfit," answers Des, looking at Lux.
There is the crunching sound of a diaper as Lux scrambles out of his father's arms and maneuvers himself to his feet.
"Careful, luv," says Stella but she doesn't look too worried as she watches him.
When he is finally upright, Lux hobbles his way over to Des and lands in his lap.
"Trying to get to the gifts first eh? I'm on to you, Little Man," Des jokes as he grins down at Lux.
Lux makes a gurgling noise and slobber is his response to Des' accusation.
"You drool machine!" cries Des with a laugh as he picks Lux up and takes a nearby blanket to wipe it off his legs. "I bet you came over here cause you need your diaper changed too."
Lux hiccups a laugh.
"You did!" cries Des. "You little rascal!"
"Give him to me, Des," says Noctis as he appears beside them. "You'll end up getting the diaper stuck to you instead of him again."
"I do it that one time, okay maybe more than once and now nobody trusts me," complains Des, handing Lux back to Noctis.
Lux pats Des' face before reaching out to his father and all three disappear into the other room to get him changed. She watches them go before turning her beaming eyes to Stella.
"Oh Stella, he's wonderful," she says.
"Oh right now he is," laughs Stella as she rubs her hand over her rounded stomach. "You should see when he is upset."
"Is he a screamer?"
"No," Stella answers with a shake of her head. "He does not cry that much, but he does know how to throw a fit. Just like Noctis."
She can't even imagine how Noctis could. He was always so level headed.
"It is only Noctis that can really calm him down when he gets that way," complains Stella, but she has a wistful look on her face. "Do not even get me started when he and Des are alone."
Now that was something she could picture.
"They are going to be awhile," whispers Stella conspiratorially. "So you must catch me up on your life."
She can feel the happiness from earlier fade as she remembers what she had been wanting to tell Stella before. Before she had heard...
"What is it, Honey?" Stella asks leaning closer to her in worry. "Did something horrible happen?"
Yes.
"No, just..." she does not know how to answer that. "I think I'm weary from my trip."
"I feel like such an improper hostess to you," says Stella as if she's mentally berating herself. "I ask you to come all the way over here to keep me company and then do not even consider your needs when you are here."
"No, I wouldn't want you to worry about me," she answers quickly. "It's my fault. I didn't give myself any chances to rest on the way over here."
"Of course you should be tired," answers Stella. "It is already late in the evening. Which reminds me that Lunae needs to be put to bed."
"What time does he need to be asleep?"
"Before now usually," Stella answers with a smile. "We were waiting for you to come. I have been telling him all about you all day."
"I'm sure he didn't understand what you were going on about," she smiles.
"Oh, you can never underestimate him," warns Stella. "We show him pictures of all of you regularly and talk of you too. So he is familiar with you."
"That wasn't really necessary."
"Noctis and I think so," says Stella. "We want him to know who he can trust. If anything happened to me or Noctis, Lunae would know who would be the ones to cry to."
"Nothing is going to happen to either you or Noctis," she says in protest.
"Still," says Stella. "Noctis, has never gotten over the early loss of his parents. He had not had any older figure to guide him and it still affects him. At least with Lunae, he will have that."
It is a very sad thought, but it made sense. Noctis was ever rational and very deep. She knows there was nothing he would not do to save his son from having to grow up as he had been forced to.
"But enough of that," says Stella with a little shake. "Have you seen Procella?"
She almost blanches at the mention and just barely keeps her expression neutral.
"No, I have not seen her yet," she answers. She hadn't seen Procella, only heard her voice.
"She said Sapien had to talk to her," Stella continues on, missing the pained expression on her face. "They have been doing that a lot."
"What?"
"Talking, but they will not tell me what about," answers Stella with a distracted look on her face. "They are up to something."
"What makes you think that?" she asks and she can't even stop her voice from sounding deflated.
"Procella always comes back with a smirk on her face," explains Stella.
She didn't think she could feel anymore low, but she's proven wrong when she sinks further at those words.
"I am sure they are not doing anything wrong," she reassures.
"I have half a mind to have you ask her, Mira," Stella says with a smile at her.
"Neither one of them would tell me," she answers quickly. Neither one of them were the kind of people that told just anyone their secrets. Definitely not something as personal as clothing preferences.
"Are you sure you are all right?" asks Stella with a worried frown.
She feigns a yawn to try and give herself the excuse. "I'm sorry. I don't know where my energy has gone," she says apologetically.
"No need to apologize. Of course you are tired and here I go, rambling on about things I am sure you do not have an interest in."
"Oh, no. You've gotten me curious too. I just wish I could help you figure it out."
Stella smiles at her. That kind and motherly smile that she loves to see. Only, she realizes now that she won't ever be able to tell Stella about her feelings about Sapien. It wouldn't be any use to. It would just make everyone awkward and she would hate to do that to them.
"Off you go then, Dear," says Stella, shooing her with her arms. "We shall gossip and giggle about everything tomorrow."
She manages a tired but grateful smile. Leaning over she kisses Stella's cheek like the little girl she used to be and quietly leaves the room.
Given the time of night and how dark it was outside, it would have been safer to go straight through the halls. But to go that way would mean that she would have to pass that corner. Pass that corner where she had heard one secret conversation that had turned her world upside down. She can't take the thought of it and rushes outside and through the courtyard. Taking two steps at a time, she rushes up the main stairwell and doesn't even stop for breathe until she is pushing open her door and shutting it swiftly behind her.
The room fills with her hysterical breathes as she clutches her heart to keep it from leaping out of her chest. How very wrong she had been. It's not even in her to be jealous. She just feels so stupid for assuming when it wasn't smart to assume. That is all she had done this whole year. Assumed that it had been Sapien sending her these gifts. It was obvious that he wasn't the one who did. He wouldn't when he obviously had feelings for Procella and why wouldn't he? Procella was beautiful in an enchanting way. She could be icy, but she wasn't really that way. Not once you got to know her and how much she really did care. Compared to Procella, she was a clumsy frump who did not even deserve to stand next to such loveliness. Of course he would want someone like that before he would want someone like her. She is so thankful that she never called or wrote or sent a package of her own! What would Sapien have said if she had? At least, she can be relieved about that.
Slowly, as if being guided, she walks over to one of her suitcases and opens the zipper. Carefully, she lifts a wrapped up cloth and unties the ends. Unfolding it, she stares down at the figurine. Hair the same purple of her own with a bouquet of lavender in its hands. Did it matter that this, something she still felt was so precious, was not from the man that she loved? Did it change how she felt about it?
She can honestly answer both. Yes, it did matter that it wasn't from him. No, it didn't change that she still loved it.