Hello! *avoids flying objects* HEY! *narrowly avoids waffle* I've been so busy with random shiz! And I will update BW if I can connect where I am to my next plot point! WHICH IS- *gets mouth covered by my muse Memphis*

Memphis: NO SPOILERS!

Ugh fine.

GDI DRAGONVALE WHY WON'T YOU LOAD!?

R&R!

Okay. This may sound weird. Or really crazy.

I became an honorary member to a pirate crew from another dimension. All because I saved one of them from a zoo, another from a swarm of mall police, tracked a third down in Walmart, a fourth in a holiday decorations store, yet another from doing anything incredibly stupid, housed them, and helped them build a dimensional transport in order to get home.

See?

Crazy.

My name's Ryou D. Justice. And no, I'm not a boy. Ryou is a girl's name. Just saying.

I was dancing around my kitchen, cooking myself lunch. My dad was out on assignment as a marine and my mom was… somewhere. She's always in a different place on business or something.

So, there I was, jamming out to We Are and cooking lunch simultaneously when I heard the thump and some muffled swearing. "Where am I? I lost the sh*tty ship and the others…" I held up my spatula towards the source of the noise, the stairs.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my house?!" I yelled, brandishing my cooking utensil like a sword. A blond man with a cigarette hopped off the stairs and looked at me.

I guess he couldn't tell that I'm a girl because he remarked, "Look kid. I don't have time to deal with you. Where am I and have you seen a pirate ship?"

I stared at his curly eyebrow. "Well, mister, that was rude. And no, I haven't seen a pirate ship. I'll ask you again. Who are you and what the heck are you doing in my house. If you don't give me a satisfactory answer, you will understand the saying 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'."

"… a woman scorned?" The man repeated slowly, as if he was processing it. "Wait… you're a girl?!"

"That's right, you intruder! Now you tell me who you are and WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING IN MY KITCHEN?!" I yelled, temporarily returning my spatula-sword to its original form to shuffle egg bits around in a pan.

"My name's Sanji, and I'm not quite sure how I got here, miss. It seems my memory fails me-"

"If you try a cheesy pickup line, you will get kicked really hard where no man should be kicked." I cut him off. Sanji raised his visible eyebrow. "If you can't take the heat, stay out of my kitchen. I like spicing things up. I may be saucy and have pep-per in my step, but I'd never rub salt into a wound."

I responded to his eyebrow-raise before my brain processed what I had said. "Aw crud, not more bad puns! It's a curse, I tell you! A blessing and a curse. The name is Ryou. Ryou D. Justice." I splashed some vinegar into the rice I was cooking next to the egg bits. "Pass the salt, onion and garlic powders would you, Sanji?" Sanji walked behind me and stared at the two salts.

"Which salt?" Sanji asked, pointing to the two containers.

"Sea." I replied without looking up. "Onion and garlic powders are in… here." I tapped the cabinet with the spices with my foot. Sanji nodded and opened it, quickly finding and handing me the spices. "Thanks." I mumbled absentmindedly as I stirred the spices into yet another dish I was cooking.

I stole a glance at Sanji, thinking 'This couldn't be the real Sanji, could it?'. "So Sanji, I take it you're a pirate, am I right?" I asked, pulling the eggs and rice off the flame and setting them on the counter.

"How could you tell?" Sanji replied, clearly surprised. I laughed.

"Simple. I'm psychic. Put that disgusting thing out." I motioned blindly towards his cigarette.

"May I ask why?"

"Yet another simple answer. I have chronic asthma and do not want to end up in the hospital for a third time because of a cigarette." I sighed, turning around and turning the cooktop off, one hand on my waist as I gave him a once-over. "How do you expect to become a great chef if you keep smoking anyways? It ruins tastebuds. Also causes various lung diseases, cancer, rotten teeth, emphysema, and some other bad stuff."

"How could you tell I was a chef? It's not that obvious." Sanji asked, putting out the cigarette and tossing it out.

"What is with you and simple answers? Since you're a pirate, as I stated previously, you'd have to fight with other pirates. And since fighting takes a lot of strength, to build up that strength you'd need muscles. I then looked at your arms, but didn't see any prominent muscles. Thus you don't use your hands while fighting. However, when I asked for certain spices, you found them quickly despite all of the spices in the rack. So you would know what to look for from experience. Thus, I came to the conclusion that you're a chef." I took a deep breath and sighed. "I rambled, didn't I?"

"No, not at all." Sanji's fingers began drumming on his leg. "I was wondering… could you help me find my crew?"

"Sure." I replied plainly.

"I mean, you don't have to, I would totally understand if you don't want- wait. Sure?" Sanji chattered, looking at me.

"Uh huh. Pirates are cool, despite what everyone else says. My dad likes how free pirates can be, despite the fact he'd be fired if he said so at work." I pulled the other dish, which happened to be miso soup, off of the flame and spooned bit into my mouth. "Does this taste right to you?" I asked, pulling another spoon from the drawer behind me and handing it to Sanji.

He dipped the spoon into the soup and tasted it. "It needs a little more salt, at least that's my opinion."

"Kay." I snagged the salt and shook it twice, stirring the soup one last time before dumping it into a Tupperware. "I'll eat that later." I decided, popping everything else into Tupperware and sliding it into the fridge across the kitchen. "Can I grab my hat before we go?" I asked with puppy eyes aimed towards Sanji.

"Okay, but please don't take too long, my captain and crew mates have a knack for getting themselves in trouble." Sanji replied and I sprinted up the stairs to my room. I snatched my straw hat off of my bed, plopped it on my head, and slid down the banister back into the kitchen. "Ready!"

Sanji stared at my hat. "Where did you get that hat?" He asked slowly.

"Huh?" I asked back, reaching up to hold my hat. "This? My mom gave it to me as a kid. Why?" I replied.

"My captain has the same hat." Sanji replied and I smirked a little, but it had a sad feel to it.

"When my mom gave it to me, she told me that whoever wore this hat would grow up to do great things. I haven't done anything great yet, but it seems like your captain has." I explained with a nostalgic feeling. "Well, let's go, shall we?" I opened the door and Sanji paused mid-step. "Oh don't argue. Chivalry goes both ways." Sanji was about to step out the door before I realized something. "Wait. I think it'd be better if I went alone. That way, I wouldn't have to worry if we got separated."

"But-" Sanji started before he cut his train of thought off. "How would you know what my crew members look like?" He asked, tilting his head.

"Sanji. I'm psychic. Are you really asking that question? I probed your mind already. I know who I'm looking for." I replied, rolling my eyes. "Oh, forgot to introduce myself. The name's Ryou. Ryou D. Justice." I stepped out of the door and locked it behind me. I waved to Sanji and he smirked as I turned and headed to town.

What the frig I was getting myself into… I really had no idea. But was it worth it?

Heck yeah.

So. Here's a thing.

Happy?

... Does anyone even read these?