Disclaimer: I don't own umineko. Period.
Author's note: this is my second fanfic, any criticism or support is appreciated. But no flames. Flames are bad. We can all do without flames. I'll totally ignore any or all things flames and burn them.
It's a Dlanor fanfic because I LOVE DLANOR. There, I said it. Her expressions are charming too.
Fatal Attraction
Chapter 1
Dlanor . Member of the Eiserne Jungfrau. Head Inquisitor of Heresy. She was an iron lady whose emotion was as cold as the death sentence she carried.
She was employed in a cruel game of witches, in the 5th game of the witch Beatrice by Furudo Erika, whom she disliked very much. She had read the files on Beatrice, depicting her cruelty, her crimes, and her abilities. And she was all that and more.
But one thing she didn't expect was Beatrice's opponent, Battler Ushiromiya.
She met him in quite an impressive, if not bad, way.
They met in an exchange of red and blue truth, in the midst of clashing hypothesis and swords, and it left an impression in her.
"Good evening, BATTLER."
The almost expressionless doll, Dlanor, greeted the supposedly enemy of the Golden Witch. It was in the middle of the suspended 5th game, and this is the sixth time she had visited the garden.
"Yo. We got Chai tea today. It's sweet. I hope you don't mind," Battler smiled. "C'mon Beato, say hi to our guest."
The doll-like witch looked at her with empty eyes.
"Thank you Battler, and BEATO."
She sat herself down and poured the tea into a cup, sipping it slowly.
Here, time and space is relative. Even the weather in the garden was nothing more than a fabrication of the state of its creator. In this case, Beato.
"Come on Beato, say aah…"
Battler was a strange man. Full of contradiction. Full of vigor. Full of…love. Things that she would never have, he is the embodiment of them all. Somehow that made her curious.
Dlanor stirred the black tea methodically as she glanced quickly at Battler. He was patiently dabbing at the crumbs on Beato's lips. Beato herself could do nothing but resign to what her master and Battler did.
Why? According to the documents, Battler Ushiromiya and Beatrice the Golden Witch are supposed to be mortal enemies. It is no exaggeration to say that Battler Ushiromiya's grudge is nothing sort of deadly. And yet…why does he show such care towards Beatrice's doll?
"Aren't you going to drink that?" Battler said, snapping Dlanor out of her daydream.
"I am SORRY," she said apologetically. "I was zoning OUT."
Why. Why indeed. She said to herself as she poured herself another cup.
After the end of the 5th game, Dlanor found a new friend in Battler, especially after his revival as the Endless Sorcerer. That was one fight she'd never forget. Being beaten by a human was a new one. And that same human praised her father even though he didn't know him, it was…different.
Today, it was the first time she had visited the garden ever since the 6th game began. Furudo Erika was a cruel master, and she did her best to direct her violence away from her subordinates, having a chat with the opposite roles would be a good change of pace.
She appeared in the garden that was now colorless and grey, bearing a box of cakes as a gift. She couldn't forgive herself if she came empty handed.
But he was nowhere to be found.
"Where is HE?" she asked to no one in particular.
As she was about to return, she saw light coming from the Kuwadorian.
She opened the front door, and there he was. He was in the lobby together with his furnitures. All of them were there, but Ronove was nowhere to be seen.
Dlanor's limbs creaked along with the closing door. Normally, she'd be noticed by now. But the small sounds she made were drowned by the shrieks and scream of the Sisters.
That was supposed to be another relaxing personal chat with Battler. But now…
"Nee-san! Stop that!"
"Oh, c'mon. It isn't like it's gonna hurt."
"Yea. I'm sure Battler-sama would love seeing you in this swimsuit!"
Mammon and Beelzebub grabbed Asmodeus by the arms. "Give up! It'll be over in a matter of minute!"
"Virgilia, aren't you supposed to stop this?" Gaap said. But contrary to her words, she was intently recording everything into her eyes.
Beato's master smiled a knowing smile. "Battler hasn't given the order yet."
Their current master was watching the Sisters' antics with interest while supporting her chin with one arm. Sitting on top of his left armrests was the elegant Beato piece and leaning onto his legs were Lucifer and Satan.
When she saw this scene, Dlanor clenched her fist. She grew restless.
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!! DIE THE DEATH!!! SENTENCE TO DEATH!!! GREAT EQUALIZER TO THE DEATH!!!!
"Oh, Dlanor? Come in, have a seat."
As if hearing the insane words she screamed inside her mind, Virgilia invited her in.
"Hey, long time no see! We were just about to have tea," Battler said with a smile."
"Thank YOU," she said stiffly.
"Dlanor . The Archbishop and Inquisitor of Heresy. Hehee…do you remember me?" Gaap said playfully.
"Of COURSE. You are the one to blame for most of the things we lost in the OFFICE. Including my subordinate's room KEY. She slept on her office desk for months until the application for a new key was APPROVED. How you penetrate our barrier baffles me to no END."
"Ahahaha! Telling you would be no fun."
"Uuh…Beatrice-samaaa…" Asmodeus sniffled as she sprawled on the floor. Her clothes were replaced with a school swimsuit with a tag on it. Her sisters chuckled as they see their handiwork.
"That suits you like a glove!" Battler grinned naughtily. "Though…it'd be better if you have bigger boobs."
"Otou-sama!" Beato piece complained.
"Ohoho. If it was any bigger it'd be hard to get you off her, Battler," Virgilia pointed out.
"That's true, hahaha!"
"Hahahah!! It'd be years if you want to be as big as me!" Gaap stood up suddenly, pridefully showing her bouncing dynamite.
Dlanor stared at her, watching as it bobbled left and right.
Unconsciously, she felt for hers.
"SMALL," she whispered sadly.
Yes. She was a child after all. She would never grow to beat that boob demon.
She glanced at Battler, who was being tempted by Gaap. Beato covered his eyes as Battler struggled to open his eyes.
"…"
At that point, Ronove entered in a burst of golden butterfly.
"Tea is served, everyone," Ronove bowed respectfully whilst shooing away the Sisters.
He looked at the violated Asmo and sighed. "You just don't get it, do you? Swimsuit of that kind is only good on small girls."
"Hapshhooo!"
"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?"
Bernkastel slapped Lambdadelta's face with her tail. She stumbled off her chair and rolled over in pain.
"I think someone's talking about me."
"Alright, I'll leave you three to talk. Take the tea to my room would you?"
"Certainly," Ronove said.
"Come on Asmo. Onee-san is going to take real good care of you."
Gaap snapped her fingers. A hole swallowed her, along with the wailing Asmodeus.
After the annoying sisters are gone, Dlanor felt slightly happy. It was weird.
Ronove served the tea along with some Madeleine. The freshly baked sweets tempted the appetite.
"OH."
The smell reminds her of the thing in her hand. Dlanor looked at the box in her hand. She had been gripping the cake so hard that it was flattened.
"SORRY. I wanted to share these with YOU. But it's ruined NOW."
When she made a gesture to throw it away, Battler stopped her. He opened the box and jammed the cake into his mouth.
"Omh…fhis iz hood!!"
She looked at the cake, and then at Battler's face smudged with frostings.
"You have some sugar on your FACE."
Her fingers moved and wiped the frosting away.
"UH," when she came to, there was white frosting on her finger.
"Well, uh…thank you, er."
"Pukuku, maybe we'd better leave youngsters alone, eh?"
Virgilia smiled evilly. "Come, Beato."
"Master?"
The three of them vanished with three consecutive burst of golden.
"Ahaha…they must have the wrong idea," Battler said embarrassedly.
Dlanor turned away and licked the frosting off her finger.
"SWEET," her face colored.
"Anyway. It's good that you're here."
"OH? And why is THAT?" she refused to look back, still hiding her face.
"You have told me most of the Decalogue's contents. But you haven't told me about the fifth. Can you tell me what it's about?"
Dlanor stared at him quietly. Looking at his face, it was like…she was the child she once was.
"Hello? Dlanor?" he waved his hands over her blank face.
"…Yes. I will tell YOU. But only on one CONDITION, that you will…do a request of MINE."
"Sure, lay it on me. As long as it's not perverted, okay?"
She opened her mouth once and twice, but nothing came out. It came out on the third try. "Being an Inquisitor I have no time for personal REASONS. It would be good if…if you teach me how to have…FUN."
"What? Like a date? Sure. Going on a date with a girl as beautiful as you is like a dream!" he said happily. His Cloak waved around as he stepped back. "Would the next suspension be okay?"
"T-thank YOU."
Dlanor arrived at one of the empty guest room where she and her subordinates stayed. It was marked with a barrier so no one but them and Furudo Erika may notice. There, Gertrude was staying up with a batch of documents.
Her ears twitched when she heard the familiar scraping of joints.
"Allow me to speak. Good evening, Head Inquisitor."
Dlanor nodded and fell to one of the beds.
Gertrude glanced at her superior's face. "Allow me to speak. Has something good happened? Your face is quite bright."
Dlanor put her arm over her eyes. "PERHAPS."
On her lips were a bright smile.
to be continued
AN: This is the first chapter of Fatal Attraction, a charming rendition of Dlanor's adolescent charm, I think.
The second chapter would be better. I promise.
(because I have, you know, short attention span. So I have to make it as I go along)