"Aneela!" Dan yelled from the kitchen. "Where'd you put the Wheaties?"
Aneela stumbled out of her bedroom, still in her purple lion pyjamas that Phil had given her for her birthday that year, and rubbed her eyes.
"Goddammit Dan, I don't know where the fuck you keep the things," She said through a yawn. Dan looked at her, annoyed.
"You were the last one to eat them."
"No, Phil was," She corrected as she poured herself some coffee. She caught notice of herself in the microwave reflection and cursed as she pressed her hair down, trying to make it neat. She didn't want to look shabby in front of Dan and Phil, even though she had lived with them for a couple of months now. They still were her idols of course and who wants to look bad in front of the people they've admired for so long?
She turned back to see Dan smiling oddly at her, his left dimple prominent. It made Aneela's stomach fill with butterflies, stronger than she had ever felt before. Dan then turned and walked down the hall, yelling Phil's name musically.
"Phil where'd you put the—" Dan's voice trailed off as Aneela heard him swear profusely and slam Phil's bedroom door, before walking sternly back in the room, eyes wide. She looked at him with confusion on her face and he blankly shook his head at her.
"You don't want to know," he stated monotonously, reaching up to grab his back-up box of Wheaties.
"Why'd you want the other box if you have one?" Aneela asked, teasing Dan as she sat down with her coffee. Dan's face hadn't changed since he came back into the kitchen, and he replied to her as he made his cereal.
"I didn't want to open another box," he said, monotonously again. Aneela creased her brows together. Dan was acting really weird, even for him. What happened in the hallway? Aneela shrugged the thought out of her mind; Dan said she didn't want to know, so she would leave it at that.
Moments later, a scruffy looking Phil wandered into the room, hair in a mess and just wearing his checkered boxer shorts. Aneela bit her lip; she had seen Phil topless in some of his videos, and somewhat the past couple of months, but his outrageous beauty/sexiness still stunned her and made her breathless.
After gathering his cereal and coffee, he sat down at the table with Dan and Aneela, his glasses sliding slightly off his nose. Aneela giggled because she thought it was cute; which made Phil blush.
"Um, sorry about before Dan," Phil whispered after almost five minutes of silence except the occasional clink of spoon against bowl and crunch of cereal in mouth. Dan looked down, somewhat ashamed, which was unusual for him.
"It's okay I just wasn't expecting it." They went back to eating their cereal. No, Aneela wasn't going to leave it at that; how could she? After a couple more minutes silence she sighed loudly.
"Okay, what happened?" She asked Phil directly. He closed his mouth and pushed it to the side and Aneela was overcome with the cuteness of the 26 year old. He looked around towards Dan slightly, avoiding Aneela's enquiring gaze. She turned her attention to Dan and stared straight into his deep brown eyes. She always got lost searching in them and so didn't speak for just under a minute.
"Dan?" There was a slight pain in her voice. She didn't like feeling left out anytime, but when possibly her two favourite people on the planet didn't tell her things, she just felt empty. As Dan looked at Aneela, his heart broke slightly, as he could see the pain swimming in her eyes, worry evident in the slight crease in her forehead. He hated leaving her out.
"I kinda walked in on Phil naked." Aneela choked on her own spit, before she couldn't help but giggle.
"To be fair I just hopped out of the shower!" Phil exclaimed, sitting up straight, trying to defend himself. Aneela just laughed harder.
"Was it glorious?" She asked Dan sarcastically, making suggestive movements with her eyebrows. Dan flicked a Wheatie at her.
"Fuck off." Phil by now had gone a deep pink, very different to his usual white face. He got up and placed his stuff in the sink before resting on the kitchen bench, sipping silently on his coffee.
"Hey Aneela?" Dan asked, playing with his Wheaties as he spoke.
"Yes Daniel?" She laughed at the over-dramatized way she said his name. He looked at her like she was the weirdest person ever, but he still saw nothing but beauty in front of him.
"You want to go with me to the movies today?" Aneela smiled.
"Yeah sounds like fun! Phil, you want to come too?" She asked. It could all be a group day out; hanging with them both was always such fun. Plus she kind of revelled in the fact that she could walk around London with 'Danisnotonfire' and 'AmazingPhil', something any of their subscribers would kill for; she was the luckiest. Phil looked slightly excited as Dan looked down at his cereal, playing with a single wheatie; his face had fallen a lot.
"I meant just you and me," Dan murmured, his hand placed on his cheek in disappointment.
"Oh." Aneela felt so embarrassed. A large flush of pink rushed into Aneela's cheeks as she fully comprehended what Dan was trying to ask. "So, like a date?" Dan smiled slightly, his dimple showing again as he nodded slowly.
It took almost everything Aneela had not to squeal with excitement. Dan Howell, the man she had been watching on the internet for over two years now, who she would occasionally cry over because she thought she would never meet him, is now asking her on a date. She felt like crying with joy; she just couldn't believe it.
Before she could accept his amazing offer, Phil threw his mug in the sink which created a loud crash, wiped his nose as he sniffled and hurried out of the room.
"For Jesus Christ," Dan mumbled to himself as he got up and ran after his best friend. Aneela sat there and felt horrible.
When Dan reached Phil's room, Phil was already inside and when Dan tried to open the door, the realisation that it was locked disheartened him.
"Oh so now you lock the door," He tried to joke. He couldn't hear any laughter, just small sniffles emanating from the other side of the door. Dan sighed and rested against it. "Phil?"
"Go away." Phil tried to say it without his voice cracking because of his sadness, but there was no hope. Dan winced when he heard the crack, hating himself for putting Phil in pain.
"Can you just let me in… Please?" Dan pleaded.
"Leave me alone."
"I can't do that." There was silence between them, not even sniffling. Dan heard a resigned sigh come from Phil before some rustling and finally, the clack of a door unlocking. Dan quickly opened the door to see Phil sitting cross legged on his bed, head in hands. Dan was overcome with sadness at seeing Phil like this.
He walked over to Phil and sat next to him, rubbing his back gently, trying to sooth him. It didn't work; Phil kept crying.
"Phil, talk to me. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong," Dan whispered softly, resting his head lightly on Phil's back. He didn't want Phil to be upset; he never wanted Phil to be upset. He was such a kind person; he didn't deserve to be sad.
"You always were shit at noticing my feelings," Phil laughed pathetically as he played with his mismatched socks, picking the lint off them every now and then. Dan didn't understand the presence of laughter, but he loved the sound of it, even if it wasn't Phil's usual laugh.
"I always notice, I never understand."
"Obviously." Dan sighed, fatalistic.
"Phil," He whispered sternly. He shuffled himself around to be in front of Phil, so they were face to face. Dan wiped Phil's tears tenderly with his thumb. Phil looked up at him sullen, his blue eyes shimmering beautifully through his glasses.
"I'm just jealous, I guess," Phil admitted shyly. He sat and watched Dan's face, trying to read the reaction that he gave; which was harder than expected. Dan began to chuckle after a moment.
"Phil, there's no reason to be. My friendship with you will always have a stronger bond than my friendship with anyone, you should know that." Dan smiled at Phil, knowing his 'perfect' (in Phil's own words) smile and dimple always made Phil smile. This time it didn't. Phil sighed and shook his head; he should've known Dan wouldn't understand what he meant. He would have to be more explicit.
"Dan, I like you, okay. Like, like like." Phil creased his brows at himself at the use of such childish language. He thought 'Really? That's what you come up with?'
Dan sat there, silent and stunned. Phil sat patiently awaiting a response. He had known Dan for what seemed like a lifetime and he knew sometimes it took a while for him to process things, especially when he had no knowledge of it prior. And what Phil just told him wasn't something to just be taken lightly.
"Phil," Dan said sadly. For a couple of moments that's the only thing Dan could manage to say. He sat there remembering all the little signs of Phil's feelings and he was stunned at what he remembered. The little surprise hugs Phil would give him on occasion, the dirty jokes Phil would make now had a new level of subtext and the little pushes and shoves here and there, Dan could now recognise as flirtation.
"Dan?" Phil asked gently after almost five minutes of silence from the both of them. Dan's lack of response made Phil really anxious.
"Phil," Dan repeated. This was his time; he wasn't usually good with words in awkward situations, but he had to be now, for Phil's sake. "I am really flattered."
"Here we go."
"Shutup."
"Okay," Phil murmured apologetically as he squished his lips together and sat in silence, allowing Dan to explain himself and his feelings.
"I always knew after I found out you were bi that there was the chance that you could start liking me." Dan mentally skipped over a joke about "Who wouldn't?" because he knew that now wasn't the time for joking. "And I think it's really cute, and I do love you Phil; I just don't love you in that way. You're like a brother to me and you are without a doubt my best friend." Phil's eyes re-filled with tears.
"I'm not anymore, am I?" Dan shook his head quickly, a stream of 'no's escaping his mouth with regret.
"Of course you are Phil; you will always be my best friend! You're the most amazing person in my life, I just don't have feelings for you, and I'm really sorry. I like Aneela and I want to see where it goes, but if it's too much for you, I won't." As Dan finishes, he exhales lightly, hoping that Phil will understand. He usually does. Phil is overcome with butterflies.
"You would do that, for me?" He asked, chuffed in an unusual way.
"Of course! She'll understand and I would never let anything, or anyone, come between our friendship." Phil smiled at Dan and through his blurred vision, he could see Dan smiling back, he could even make out Dan's dimple.
"The fact you would even offer that means more than anything. I don't mind," Phil stated, wrapping his arms around Dan. "I just want you to be happy." Dan embraced Phil and gave him a soft squeeze. Phil really did mean everything to Dan.
"Thanks Phil. This doesn't change a fucking thing between us, yeah?" Phil smiled widely as he let of go of his best friend.
"And here I was thinking you could survive this conversation without swearing." Dan and Phil both chuckled.
"C'mon, you should know me better." Dan and Phil leave the room together, Dan worried that Aneela would be concerned about what just happened.
When Dan and Phil returned, Aneela was happy at the sight of them. She noticed Phil's red eyes, obviously from crying, but smiled softly when she saw they were both smiling; she wanted nothing but to see them happy. And it was then she decided she wouldn't ask about the conversation they just had. It deserved to be private. She didn't feel left out this time, she felt blessed to be able to simply be in the same room as Dan and Phil, and especially to have them appreciate her.
"Dan, how about we rent a movie that we can all watch together?" Aneela asked, not wanting to push the date between her and Dan onto Phil. Dan turned to Phil and they smiled at each other. Dan was about to agree, but Phil interrupted him.
"No, Neela, you should go with Dan to the movies. Between you and me, he's been wanting this date for a while." Aneela blushed at Phil's use of the nickname he made up for her. Phil chuckled lightly to himself. He was not going to stand in the way of his best friend's happiness just because he liked Dan, that wasn't what Phil believed in.
Aneela hopped up and embraced Phil excitedly, swaying slightly as they hugged. Aneela kissed Phil on the cheek whilst he was still bent over as they let go of each other.
"Thanks Phil, you really are amazing." Aneela then rushed out of the room to put on shoes. Dan smiled at his best friend.
"Thank you," He whispered, giving Phil a one armed hug. "I owe you."
"Don't be stupid Dan," Phil replied. "Have fun." Phil beamed at the two as they left the apartment, hand in hand. Phil felt content with not only his decision to tell Dan about his feelings and to let him go with Aneela, but also content with the fact he wouldn't lose Dan as a result of anything that happened that day. He had a best friend for life, and nothing could change that.
He grabbed Totoro before sitting down and watching Deathnote, waiting eagerly for Dan and Aneela to return so he could hear all about their date; and maybe live vicariously through Aneela's experiences. But he wouldn't tell her that…