SURPRISE! Bet you'd thought you'd seen the last of me!

… Well now that I got that out of my system: WOW it's been a long time. I can't even remember the last time I updated any of my fics, much less started a new one. Most of you probably thought I'd given up on this website. And, well, I had for a while, until I was struck by this idea.

It came to me while watching the science channel on vacation, and stumbling across some seemingly new show called Race to Escape, which involved the contestants locked in a room and having to solve various puzzles to escape. And, being the nerd I am, all I could think at the time was "I bet Dipper would love this show". It wasn't until about 1:00 AM, when I had to force myself to stop writing on my phone and go to sleep, that I figured I'd gone too far to turn back.

So, there you have it! This first chapter is just gonna be the prologue, which includes everyone's audition tapes, but the first actual chapter will be uploaded directly after, so you won't have to wait! Another thing I'd like to get out of the way: despite being a fan of the show for a long time, this is my first time writing for Gravity Falls, and I kind of jumped right into it by doing a fanfic of ALL of the main characters on my first go… not my best idea, honestly. If anyone notices I'm mischaracterizing them, or has tips on how I can write them better, PLEASE let me know in a review, I would be extremely grateful!

Lastly, thanks in advance to anyone who reads and reviews, and thanks to my subscribers (if you're reading this) for sticking with me this long. All of you guys rock!

That's it for now, thank you so much and I hope you enjoy!

...

Prologue

The video flickers to life, opening on a still shot of an old wooden chair, sitting in front of what appears to be a white sheet hung in the middle of a living room. A young boy rushes from behind the camera into the chair. He straightens his pine tree cap, clears his throat and begins to speak, sounding as if he's practiced these same words hundreds of times.

"Hello there. My name is Dipper Pines, and I would love nothing more than to be a contestant on the Great Escape. I'm twelve years old, but people say I'm mature for my age, and I can't help but agree. I'm a supernatural enthusiast, and I like to think of myself as somewhat of a puzzle expert. I love any challenge that requires me to step outside the box and think differently, and… and that's what this game's all about, right?"

Finished with his speech, the young man jumps up from the chair and out of view, rushing back to the camera. There is a half second of static before the scene resumes.

Instead of the boy, video cuts to a young girl, very similar to him in appearance, wearing a brightly colored sweater.

"HELLO!" the girl shouts. Loud shushing is heard from off camera. "My name is Mabel Pines! I'm an arts and crafts master," she begins as she counts off her many talents on her fingers, "successful video blogger, trained sweater engineer, boyband connoisseur, and professional fun-lover! And what could be MORE fun than being on a real live game show? I'll tell you what: being on a real live game show AND getting to meet new friends, AND solving mysteries together! Now THAT sounds like fun!"

After another brief flash of static, a broad-shouldered man, looking to be in his sixties, begins to speak.

"Hi, I'm Stan Pines! I'm a self-trained salesman and the current owner of the Mystery Shack, a mysterious and bewildering place where… what?" A voice is heard whispering to him. "Oh okay, fine, it's a tourist attraction in the middle of the woods. Look, I'm gonna level with you, I'm not really big on the whole 'puzzle solving' thing. But hey, teamwork's half the game, and it just so happens that owning and operating my own business makes me the perfect leader! Plus I can punch stuff. And, you know, some of the puzzles might involve punching. Maybe." There is a long, awkward pause before he adds: "It could happen."

Another second of static. An old, jaded man sits rigidly and stares straight into the camera. He is significantly thinner, but is otherwise looks identical to the man from the previous clip.

"Greetings. This is Stanford Pines, supernatural-" He is interrupted by a voice from offscreen:

"Great uncle Ford?" the young boy speaks up. "This isn't like a video diary or anything; you're allowed to act… you know, casual."

The man nods. "Right, right. Let me start again." He clears his throat rather loudly and speaks, at first with almost the exact same tone as before. "Greetings. This is… Ford?" Pause. "Right. My name is Ford Pines. I'm an acclaimed supernatural researcher and an accomplished inventor, and in my spare time I love nothing more than a good mystery. I have a knack for getting myself out of tricky situations, a skill I've had thirty years to practice," he mutters somewhat spitefully. "In fact I've faced challenges a lot like the ones seen on this show before, only the stakes were usually… well, I'll just say that they were a lot higher. So this should be pretty fun! Just as long as it's not too easy… or a trap."

Static. A tall young woman sits slouched in the chair, twirling her long red hair absently.

"I'm Wendy Corduroy, age 15. I guess you could say I'm a lumberjack? Or maybe… I dunno. I'm still kinda figuring it out…*ahem* One of my skills is that I can think on my feet; I do my best when the stakes are high. I can also handle myself under pressure. I'm willing to take on stress. Especially when there's twenty-five THOUSAND dollars on the line, I mean come ON-"

Static. A wide set Hispanic man sits waving cheerfully, looking decidedly nothing like the young redheaded woman.

"Hey dude! Or dudette, or whoever it is who watches these things. You can call me Soos. I specialize in repairs. People say I can fix mostly anything! I also like video games, and game shows are pretty much just live action video games, right? Or at least that's what Gumption was like… But anyway! I am, uh, resourceful, and… oh, and I'm a really good guesser, and I'm pretty sure that solving puzzles is like, at least 40% guesswork, right?" A brief pause. "Aha! Dipper- I mean, the camera man (who also happens to be like a puzzle expert) just nodded. So…" He shrugs. "I guess that's proof! See, see what I did there?"

A sigh is heard; the screen cuts to static again before the video finally blacks out…