The following is a non profit fan based story, Kekkai Sensen belongs to Yasuhiro Nightow, and licensed by Funimation and madman entertainment .

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I gain no profit from this nor do I own anything other then OCs and whatever sprouts from my imagination. Thanks for reading!

Kekkai Sensen: B.G. Omnibus

{""} thought bubbles.

[""]whispering

"what's all this?" Steven asked looking at Gardenia and Leo who were setting up a projector attached to a laptop and at Zap and Chain who were setting up the screen as Klaus and Gilbert came in with refreshments. "Pipsqueak here was telling me about some survival show plot she and some dudes shot a while back, and she promised to show me the footage later." Zap explained as he steadied the stand.

"Then Leo heard about it and he told the chief and I think you get the picture Steven nodded then walked over to couch with everyone else. As Gardenia finished starting the projector and going through her files clicking on one called : Outta wack#117 Pilot fail. Before the intro started the halfling turned to her friends "Okay I gotta warn Y'all this has a lot of swearing in this."

She explained then arched a brow when she took in all the males in the room blushing "Nice." Chain gave her thumbs up Gardenia whipped back a the screen her eyes nearly bugged out of her skull at the very revealing tile card of herself smirking blind folded wearing a large unbuttoned shirt with Outta wack painted on her belly.

"I forgot about the fan-service cards…" the brunette cleared her throat before awkwardly sitting next to Klaus scooted a little closer to her "Just how many of those cards have you made?" he asked blush still evident on his face Gardenia bit her lip not sure how to answer him before the movie started.

(A montage of a short man in drag and various other acts from news anchors to evil villain.)
[{"My name is Stanly T. Conrad, For years you've known me for my drag queen antics and dozen Canadian Asian-German stereotypes' and for my voice of David Homestead on Centralia falls, {1}

["Good show if any of you seen it." Leo stated as the others watched on.]

and I have flash my junk at dozens strangers and co-workers…

(random clip of Gardenia and two other people eating at a crowded diner as Stanly walks up to them and drops his pants in front of everyone; the man next to her shakes his head a facepalms while woman across from them grimaces and pushes her plate away as the halfling points at him mouths "why? Just why?" as he waddles off.)

now you will embark with me on my newest journey where I will attempt to live for three days this…Survival Stan!

A truck suddenly drives pass the title card as the interior is shown camera on Stan "We're here in the Canadian wilderness every year tourists get lost in theses woods and though my crew {Gardenia & unknown male} will record my journey; they are not allowed to help during the entire thing," {Truck suddenly stops driver reaches for the passenger door.} "All I have with me is this canteen, knife, flint-blugh!"

the driver pushes Stan out of the truck, the crew gets out and watches the truck speed away as the pudgy man runs after it "Guys! I need my stuff, you mother f-!" he falls on his but then stands back up and wanders over to the crew shrugging.

Some time passes and a now sweaty Stan looks at the sun at the camera "Okay, so it's like super hot out right and I need some water quick." he starts walking around the trail before picking up a pebble and sticking it in his mouth and sucking on it he made a face then spat out bit of dirt then tried wring some out from dry grass, another time skip shows him glaring at the crew.

Stanly: "Come on you two have plenty of bottled water, just let me have one!"

Gardenia: "Sorry Stanly we can't help ya lad."

Stanly: "Adam dude…"

Adam: "Nope it against the rules."

Stanly: Whatever!…I'm gonna die here!"

He stomps away stumbling over a few times as he does; more time passes as a disoriented Stanly notices an empty dirty old water bottle laying on a hill and scrambling for it, he tries taking a sip from it and let out a content sigh before dropping to his knees crying which changed into bouts of hysterical laughter he looks up at the camera with an unhinged grin.

Stanly is later seen grabbing random leaves and stuffing them into his mouth laughing hysterically as he does so, only to choke on them and start coughing and spitting them up all over the place,

[ the Libra members grimaced at this.]

More time passes as the three of them find a creek and Stanly goes in for a drink "I wouldn't do that Stanly." Gardenia warned as the short man waved her off "It's forest water it's fine." the camera panned out to revealing some unfortunate mutilated animal corpse floating a few feet from the Canadian man who got one look and threw up.

*Night time*

"okay, so it getting dark so I piled up these random leaves to make a bed." Stanly explains as the camera shows his miserable attempt at shelter a few hours later the camp is awoken to Stanly grunting mumbling night vision shows he's squirming and scratching his arms, neck and legs.

Stanly: "My skin's on fire! My. Skin. Is. On. Fire."

Gardenia: "Well No shit, Lad yer' laying on poison ivy."

Stanly: No I'm not!

Gardenia: "Yes you are."

Stany: "NO I'M NOT!?

A&G: "YES YOU ARE!"

*Morning*

Stanly is shown covered in hives a good five feet away from the crew who keep backing away every time he comes near them, "Come on, just one benadryl just one…" off screen Gardenia and Adam shake their head as Stanly scoffs "Screw you guys!" he hissed the scene cuts to Stanly sitting on log eating something "this has been a nightmare but, here's a bright spot I found some berries for breakfast." Gardenia's camera looked around the area then points at Adam who looks around befuddled as there were berry bushes anywhere.

"Oi, where'd ya find those berries?" he inquired as the pudgy man points to the ground to show little piles of animal scat "Those weren't berries! it's deer shit." Gardenia yelled causing Stanly to throw up only for him to reach out and grab another handful of scat,

["oh ho ho, frick! I gotta meet this guy!" Zap laughed as everyone shushed him.]

*mid-day*

They spent the next couple hours wandering the woods as Stanly looking around for survival situation while Adam and Gardenia played some anagram game.

A: William Shakespeare.

G: Willie Makes a Phrase.

A; too easy, uh… "To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune"

G: "In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten."

They stop talking when they noticed Stanly nosing around a rocky area particularly one large rock that seemed to be making noises; the black haired man cocked his head before reaching down to try and lift the rock "Um, S-Stanly? Uh nature put that rock there for a reason." Adam warned "And I'm with my cousin on this, when I say that reason wasn't for you to be dicking around with it." Gardenia chimed in just as the Pudgy man managed to move the rock off a small cave opening and stuck his head in "What are those? bowties?" he asked cue a swarm of bats flying out of the hole causing Gardenia, Adam and Stanly to start screaming like little girls and running away.

Stanly: "Rabies! Fucking Rabies!"

Gardenia: (Swatting at the bats.) "get the fuck away from me! Ya wee screeching bastards!"

Adam: (makes a cross outta sticks) "Watch Yer veins Gardy!?"

*Dusk*

Eventually they got away from the bats luckily bite free and set up camp in a clearing and just went to sleep.

*11pm-midnight*

"You guys!? OH MY GAWD WAKE UP!? OVER HERE! HELP ME! H-HELP MEEEE!"

The tent door opened up just in time to see some dirty creepy old man dragging Stanly into the woods as Adam's camera pointed at a stunned Gardenia "Holy shit…" and the cousins went into the woods in search of their friend, the camera kept glitching as Adam followed the halfling as his breathing became labored from running "Oh fuck, Gardy Shawn is gonna kill us!" he swallowed as she stopped suddenly and started looking around uncertain.

"We should've just told him to go suck a lemon when_ {Static}_ up with this idea."

"Yeah, yeah lemon just hold on a tic…"

"I mean sure he's Shawn's step-brother but…"

"Just be quiet, shush!"

The Adam's camera glitches again as Gardenia stood still; eyes closed slowly bringing her hands up to her ears as she listened to her surrounding a small smile formed as she pointed north-west "That way." she said and took off the direction she pointed in just as Adam's camera died, leaving only hers working, a minutes of is the sound of Tiny Tim's tip toe started playing "This is the part where the demented clown demon vampire monster thing comes and mutilates our asses isn't it?" her cousin hissed she shushed him again,

they approached a small cabin and looked through the bushes and found Stanly dressed woman being forced to dance for a group of hillbillies. And every time he tried to make a break for it he was yanked back via rope tied to his waist. "that is fucked up! Should we help him?" Adam asked as Gardenia let out annoyed sigh "Might as well, My camera almost dead anyways…" the last few seconds show Stanly getting dragging into the cabin as the title Survivor Stan flashes on the screen.

End credits show them at the hospital then a text saying "As soon as we were sure that Stanly was alright me and Adam took turns kicking his ass." }]

"Well, that's all she's wrote… if we hadn't been there he would have been dead." Gardenia said with a yawn and stretched a bit causing Klaus, whose lap she'd somehow ended up in to blush from her squirming around on him; he wrapped his arms around her to keep the brunette from moving around so much as Zap mocked her imitating her accent.

"Get the fuck away from me! Ya wee screeching bastards!" causing Leo, Steven, Chain and Gilbert to crack up the halfling blushed as she felt her lover chuckle against her shoulder "Well, how would you react if a bunch of bats come flying at your face?" she pouted as Zap wiped a tear from his eye "Fair enough. But, it's still funny do you still work with them?" Gardenia nodded "Yeah, here and there mostly voice acting." Klaus looked down at her curiously as the silver eyed man squinted at her.

"Example."

"What now?…Okay."

Everyone pauses as Gardenia clears her throat takes a few breath before looking out into space "It's gone now, But…You saw it too? Didn't you? For me, it's always like this." the jaws hit the floor as Gardenia's accent disappeared as she turned to face Leo who swallowed pointed excitedly at his roommate "Holy crap! Holy crap! You're Jillian Dixon from Centralia Falls!" he yelled as he hopped up and down, the halfling snickered at his reaction "Geez, Leo I wondering when you figured that out…lift scripts out for you to find and everything" she mused voice back to normal "Okay Now I want to know what this show is about." Steven said going up to the laptop and looking Outta Wack website for the first season the rest of the afternoon was spent by the Libra gang watching Centralia Falls.

{1} Centralia falls doesn't exist just something I made up but it is a nod at Silent hill and the real town it was based on Centralia.

Lee vs. wild which this was mostly based on belongs to madd TV