Happy Birthday, Johanna-002!
Sometimes the ordinary things in life were the most wondrous. Gloria was reflecting on this truth as she lay curled up in the pink princess bedroom of her beautiful granddaughter. The blessing of just being there was all that Gloria could think about as she delicately touched one of Gabriella's dark ringlets with her finger. The girl's curls were spread out like a halo over her pink pillowcase. Her chest was rising and falling with every breath she took and Gloria could have laid there and taken it all in forever.
A year ago, if someone had asked Gloria to imagine where she would find herself on this day, she would never have been able to even conceive that it could be in her eldest daughter's home, tucking her grandchild into bed, after enjoying an early Christmas celebration together. A year ago, Gloria's two daughters hadn't even really been a factor in her life. They'd gone years without speaking and sometimes even resuming some form of communication had seemed like an unattainable goal. Yet, here she now was, filled with hope and appreciation for the second chance she had been given.
It was her first Christmas home in ten years and Gloria had been conflicted on just how she was to approach it. On the one hand, she had her two sons at home to consider. Julio and Benny hadn't celebrated Christmas with their mom since they'd been tiny and Gloria's highest priority since the day after Thanksgiving, had been trying to figure out all the ways to make this season the most special and memorable of their lives.
It helped that Gloria's partner had a family that went way out for the holidays. Red and Gloria's home had been decked out in every conceivable fashion. From the grand tree that was really too large for their tiny living room but which they all loved, to the presents beautifully wrapped beneath it, all the baking, and the traditions old and new that they were discovering. So far, everything was magical, except for the pieces of Gloria's heart that were missing.
It was very easy for people to forget that Julio and Benny were not Gloria's only children, because her two daughters, Valentina and Carmen, saw their mother so seldomly. Gloria hadn't celebrated a Christmas with her daughters since they'd been children themselves, but unlike the boys, that absence hadn't been because she'd been sentenced to prison. Valentina and Carmen were products of a tumultuous relationship that had preceded an even nastier divorce. With the girls remaining with their father, it was a painful reality that this came with some distancing from their mother. Gloria going to prison had only solidified that estrangement.
Following Gloria's release, reintroducing themselves into one another's lives felt like entering into a dance where both parties were hesitant to take the lead. Gloria didn't want to pressure her daughters, or ask more from them than they were willing to give. Yet, she didn't want to give the wrong message by going about her own plans without a serious attempt to include them either.
Daddy's girls to the core, Gloria had long ago accepted that and knew she had no right to try and impose on the traditional plans Daniel had with their daughters for the holidays. Gloria was simply just grateful to be back in their lives at all. She tried to express that to them every chance she could, and was rewarded when Valentina had called her mother last week to invite her to a Christmas dinner on the twenty-third of December. It was early enough to not interfere with their other family plans, but still was a clear gesture that Gloria's daughters wanted to spend time with her.
As she gently adjusted Gabriella's blankets, pulling them up higher to keep out any chill, Gloria could feel her heart fluttering in her chest from pure happiness. It had been a beautiful night and one she knew she would remember forever. Her biggest confliction at the moment was deciding whether to continue snuggling with her granddaughter, or go back downstairs to spend time with the rest of the family. Carmen had already left with her boyfriend, but Valentina was probably wondering what was taking so long. Gloria was a little worried that she had made a mistake by staying as late as she had, but the night had been so pleasant she hadn't wanted it to end. She hoped her daughter felt the same way.
"Hey," a gentle voice whispered, breaking into Gloria's thoughts. The stream of lighting from the hallway widened as the door opened a little further and the shadowy figure of her oldest daughter came into view.
"I'm sorry…" Gloria whispered back, lifting her head off of the pillow she had been sharing with her granddaughter. "She just looked so angelic that I couldn't tear myself away."
"That's okay," Valentina said softly, tiptoeing across the floor to come stand at the foot of Gabriella's bed. "I'm just happy she's finally asleep. She really was fighting going to bed tonight. She didn't want to miss a minute with you."
It was a simple statement but one that made Gloria beam with pride, and which made her heart flutter rapidly in her chest with absolute joy. It might not seem like a big thing for a mother and grandmother to hear how much they were cherished, but for Gloria it meant everything in the world. It wasn't that long ago that Valentina had been hesitant to even let her mother meet her child, but now she seemed to have no discomfort, ill-founded or otherwise, about the close bond that was already beginning to develop between them.
"She looks so much like you did at her age," Gloria said softy. She carefully brushed her lips against Gabriella's plump cheek and then worked to untangle herself from the little girl, who was partially draped overtop of her. The last thing Gloria wanted to do was accidentally wake her up.
"Yeah?" Valentina whispered. She crossed her arms over her chest as though hugging herself.
"Oh, yes," Gloria nodded. She slid her legs off of the bed and then stood up. "You both slept the same way, arms and legs spread like an eagle so that there was no room for the person laying beside you."
"And did you ever lay down beside me?" Valentina asked.
It was an innocent enough of a question she posed, as they both gave Gabriella a final look and then stepped out of the room, yet Gloria had noticed the way Valentina had tightened her grip around herself. It was a sensitive subject. That though Valentina had always been well cared for and predominantly raised by her father and a devoted stepmother, the void of her own mom had never been completely filled. Even when Valentina had been at her angriest and most adamant about pushing Gloria away, or perhaps even especially then, she had never been able to completely stop wanting her. Gloria had never stopped being her mom.
"Sometimes," Gloria replied, as she closed Gabriella's door enough so that nothing but a single streak of light would get through.
"But not as much as I probably should of," she added truthfully. "I hadn't wanted to create bad habits and honestly, by your bedtime, I was just craving some time to myself."
"I can see that," Valentina said quietly, taking the first step down the curved grand staircase that led to the first floor of her beautiful townhouse.
"You were a kicker," Gloria teased, trying to lighten the mood a little. "It felt sort of like what I'd imagine sleeping with a baby orangutan would feel like."
"What about Carmen?" Valentina asked with a giggle.
"Carmen snored," Gloria replied. "I didn't even need a baby monitor for her. It echoed through the house."
"She still snores," Valentina said.
They paused in the beautiful foyer of the home. Gloria glanced out the window at the dark street, brightened by the lamp posts and the beautiful Christmas lights that were adorned on nearly every house on the block. Gloria's oldest daughter lived in a quiet and affluent neighbourhood in the city with her husband and daughter. Gloria would have felt comfortable walking down the sidewalk, even at this late hour, to catch a bus back to her own home, but just as she opened up her mouth to ask Valentina to call for a cab instead, her daughter spoke up.
"I feel sort of restless," Valentina announced. "I've been cooped up inside for the past two days trying to get everything ready for Christmas Eve tomorrow. I sort of want to go out."
"Out where?" Gloria asked, looking sort of puzzled. "Do you want me to stay here and watch Gabriella for awhile? I will."
In truth, Gloria was beginning to feel like she should probably head home to see how her wife and two sons had been doing without her all evening, but she'd never miss up an opportunity to spend more time with her granddaughter. When she had been getting ready to leave, Red had been intent on organizing the cupboards and drawers beneath their bathroom sink, while Julio and Benny played video games together in the living room. It had been a cozy atmosphere, with their large Christmas tree lit up in the window and monopolizing the small space, and one Gloria always found it hard to leave no matter where she was going.
"No, Ian can watch her," Valentina said, referencing her husband who had excused himself into his office once the dinner dishes had been cleared. "I was wondering if you wanted to go out for a drink with me?"
"Out for a drink?" Gloria echoed, blinking in surprise. She had thought Valentina inviting her over for an early Christmas dinner had been enough of a loving gesture, and by staying so late and keeping Gabriella up past her bedtime, Gloria had been worried in the back of her mind that she may have already overstayed her welcome. Yet, here her daughter was now asking if she'd like to spend more time together.
"Not if you have to be getting home," Valentina withdrew quickly. "If Galina….and your kids, want you back soon."
"You're my kid too," Gloria reminded her gently. "And you were my very first which is always so special. I just thought you might be getting sick of me."
"Ohhhh," Valentina nodded her head in understanding. "Well...no. It's been a nice evening."
"One of the best I've had in ages," Gloria replied. "I want to have you all over soon for a dinner too. Our apartment is pretty small, but we can all squeeze in. I think Gabriella would like the animals. Except maybe Benny's bearded dragon, I don't think anyone much likes that thing besides him."
"Well, aside from the risk that Gabby might see that reptile and then beg me to buy her one, that sounds wonderful," Valentina smiled. "You know-I thought they would all be coming with you tonight."
"You did?" Gloria asked. "I wasn't sure…"
"Well, I didn't think I had to specify," Valentina reiterated. "I just assumed you'd know that. You all came to Gabriella's birthday party together."
"Yeah," Gloria smiled at the memory. It had meant so much to her to be included in such a special family event, and to have all four of her children under the same roof, even if they'd barely talked to one another. All her visits with her two daughters had gone reasonably well since they'd begun working to repair their relationships, but Gloria still hadn't found a way to shake the insecurity of feeling constantly under duress, terrified that one wrong move might push her daughters away from her again. Maybe this time for good.
"Well, you'll know for next time," Valentina shrugged.
"Okay," Gloria nodded, and she could feel herself becoming more confident as she straightened herself up to her tallest height. It was proof she was accepted and that her daughter was enjoying their reuniting enough to be inclusive to the others that her mother loved.
With such tremendous strides forward, the possibilities now seemed completely endless. Holidays, the children's events, and gatherings of 'just because' now held the promise of Gloria's whole family being present like they never had been before. Things didn't need to be perfect for them to still be amazing, and Gloria knew there was nothing more she could ask for. She already had everything she had always wanted and never really felt entirely worthy of having before.
"How about that drink?" Gloria asked her daughter, raising her eyebrows suggestively.
Her right hand clasped over her left and she pressed them together to feel the indentation from her promise ring. As Valentina went down to the hall to tell her husband what she and her mother had planned for the night, Gloria reached into the pocket of her coat for her cell phone. She hurriedly sent off a text to Red to inform her that she'd be late and couldn't wipe the smile off of her face as Red's simple reply 'Have fun! xo' came back almost immediately.
Gloria wasn't a very smiley person in general but her satisfaction of just how good everything in her life was right now was softening her. She was headed out on the town with her daughter like they were just two women who enjoyed one another and no longer were consumed with the complications that had branded them for so long. Then, she'd be returning home to fall asleep beside a partner that completely adored her. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and she knew her sons could hardly wait to celebrate it with her. This was magical.
XXX
"It's snowing out here!" Gloria laughed, as she stepped out of a cab parked outside her home, several hours later. She held out a hand to catch some thick snowflakes that were falling down and then turned around to show her daughter them in delight.
"Mom!" Valentina exclaimed, her voice slightly slurred from the alcohol they'd both been consuming through the night.
"What?" Gloria asked, as her daughter smacked the palm of her hand with her own.
"Your hand is cold," Valentina informed her. "You need gloves! Did you leave them somewhere? We could go find them...hop back in."
"Hop, hoppy, hop…" she giggled at her own words.
"I didn't bring gloves," Gloria replied, clapping her hands enthusiastically together in a bid to keep them warm. "I didn't bring gloves because it wasn't snowing."
"Well, this is a sign then…" Valentina told her seriously. "Maybe you should ask Santa for some gloves."
"Ahem" the driver in the front seat cleared his throat loudly as he shot a look of annoyance back at the pair of them.
"Don't pressure me," Valentina slurred at him. "You're getting paid...and this is my mother. It's good for a daughter to talk to her mother."
"Isn't it?" Gloria exclaimed, leaning back into the back of the car to hug her daughter tightly. "I've got such a pretty daughter, and she has a pretty daughter too. She made me a grandma. Do I look old enough to be a grandmother?"
"I don't know, ma'am," the driver sighed, leaning his head back against his seat. Seeming to accept that neither of his customers were in a hurry to part ways, he turned up the radio to amuse himself with and groaned loudly as Christmas carols rang through the vehicle.
"Don't touch that dial!" Valentina ordered, as the driver reached his hand up again to turn the station. "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose…"
"Maybe if you sang too, it would put you in the Christmas spirit, buddy," Gloria suggested to the driver. "Or maybe the next person you pick up will be looking to tour around and see all the beautiful Christmas lights. That might do the trick."
"Oh, we should do that!" Valentina said excitedly, bouncing in her seat like a child. "You want to go ask Galina and the boys if they want to come with us? I'll wait here..."
"Noo, they'll all be sleeping," Gloria sighed, pointing to the window of her and Red's walk-up apartment. Aside from the lights from the Christmas tree, the place looked dark and quiet, which should be expected when it was after one in the morning.
"That's true," Valentina nodded. "It is late...past my bedtime."
With some difficulty, Valentina unbuckled her seatbelt so that she could crawl out of the cab. Clumsily she stepped out onto the snow-covered sidewalk and gave her mother a hug.
"I like you," she said lovingly, kissing Gloria's cheek three times in a row. "You're fun…"
"It's all fun now, sweetie," Gloria promised her, as she hugged her daughter back. Gloria felt like she was floating, an effect of her drunkenness but also just from being so darned happy. And she and her daughter were both laughing as they struggled to get Valentina back into the idling cab, and she hiccupped her home address to the irritated driver.
It was with a spring in her step, that Gloria turned to head up the steps that led to her apartment, once she'd watched the car carrying her daughter drive away. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had so much fun, as her and Valentina's simple plan for a drink had led to doing shooters, playing pool, and then hitting up the dance floor in a packed club. Gloria would have loved the night to go on forever. It was incredible to experience all the strong walls that had been built up between them suddenly crumble down until there was nothing standing in their way of acceptance and connection.
The door was locked and the porch light kept on, as Gloria fumbled into her new purse for her key. She'd forgotten her old bag at Valentina's, as well as the top she had paired with her black skirt before deciding to change into the cashmere red that Carmen had given her. She'd just have to go back to pick up her things in a few days once the madness of Christmas had settled down. She knew that Valentina and Carmen were going to be spending the rest of the holidays with their father and stepmother, but for the first time since they'd been little girls the thought of that didn't feel like a stabbing to her heart. She had her own place in her daughters' lives again and nothing could threaten that.
"Come on, come on," Gloria grumbled under her breath as she struggled to get the key into the keyhole. In her tipsy state, the door knob kept appearing to move away like in waves and Gloria shook it impatiently before leaning over to scrutinize it more carefully.
"Gloria?" Red's accent was heard from inside, and in another instant the door opened. "I guess I should have kept it unlocked for you, huh?"
"Were you waiting up for me, honey?" Gloria asked brightly, as she stepped into the dark living room of their home. "Or did I wake you up? I was trying to be quiet…"
"You were very quiet," Red assured her. "Well, not really. But I was awake already."
"I went partying," Gloria informed her. "And then Val and I wanted to go drive around to look at Christmas lights but I didn't want to do that without you, so I didn't."
"We could do that tomorrow," Red suggested with a smirk. She reached out to tug the zipper of Gloria's winter jacket down for her. "We could do that in the evening instead of church."
"Galina, be goooood," Gloria slurred as Red reached for her hand so that she could help her out of her coat the rest of the way. "We have to go to church. Jesus is the reason for the season, as Lourdes always said. And she was smart."
"Yes, she was," Red agreed, releasing Gloria's hands and then turning around to hang her jacket up on the hook for her.
"That's a pretty sweater," Red said, running her hand over Gloria's sleeve. "You weren't wearing that when you left this evening."
"Carmen gave it to me," Gloria replied. "And then I decided to change into right away because it's so festive. My purse is a Christmas present too!"
"Did you leave your other things there?"
"Yeah," Gloria nodded, "but not on purpose...but then, here's the kicker. Don't you think it will be funny if nobody puts them away before Danny and Sarai get there for Christmas tomorrow? Let's watch them try to erase me now."
"That's not going to happen again," Red promised her, sliding her hand down Gloria's arm until she reached her hand and squeezed. "They can't do anything to you."
"Hey, do you think my hands are cold?" Gloria asked, "Val said they were cold."
"Maybe a little," Red shrugged, "but it is winter out there and you weren't wearing gloves so what do you expect?"
"My nails are too pretty to cover with gloves," Gloria replied, wriggling her sparkly red manicure knowingly. Her boys had given her a gift certificate to the salon a few days early, because Benny had said he was tired of looking at her chipped nails and couldn't wait any longer.
"Mhmm. Maybe you should sit down before we take your boots off," Red rolled her eyes.
"Good idea," Gloria nodded. "I'm going to go sit down by the Christmas tree because I'm such a present."
She was humming to herself as she walked across the room, while Red gritted her teeth and tried not to be bothered by the puddles of melted snow Gloria was leaving on the floor. However, she couldn't resist fetching the mop and cleaning up the water before she walked back over to the tree and knelt down on the floor to help Gloria off with her boots.
"What happened here?" Gloria asked, waving her hands around at the stacks of presents. The gifts had been wrapped and set under the tree for weeks in advance.
"I needed to move them so that I could sweep up all the pine needles that had fallen," Red replied, as Gloria slung her legs across her lap.
"And then I decided to go through and make sure nobody was missed," Red added, as she slipped Gloria's black knee-high suede boot off and set them to aside.
"We probably did," Gloria slurred, "We've got so many kids between the two of us that it's hard to keep them all straight."
"We're lucky," Red replied, unable to resist running her fingers over the balls of Gloria's feet. They looked tiny and cute through the sheer pantyhose she was wearing.
"That's what I was thinking all night!" Gloria giggled, as she tried unsuccessfully to kick Red's hand away. "Stop that! It tickles."
"You don't want me to touch you?"
"Oh, that I want very much," Gloria nodded. "You just need to move your hands up a little higher…"
"Like this?" Red asked, as she stroked her hand up Gloria's calf and squeezed her kneecap.
"A little higher," Gloria shook her leg impatiently. "And I need you to kiss me. We're under the mistletoe, it's the rule that you have to kiss me."
"There isn't any mistletoe," Red reminded her. "That's just the Christmas tree."
"Same thing," Gloria said indifferently. "They're both green plants…" She slid her bottom forward so that she was seated on the floor directly in front of Red, and wrapped both her legs around Red's back like a pretzel.
Gloria smiled and wrapped her arms around Red's neck, as her wife obligingly smoothed her hands up to the top of Gloria's thighs, beneath her skirt, and leaned forward to kiss her. Their lips met in a lustful show of passion and Gloria's slightly cool lips quivered excitedly as she parted them so to deepen the kiss even more.
"You taste delicious," Red whispered, kneading Gloria's thighs through her pantyhose. "Like a candy cane."
"Peppermint schnapps," Gloria replied. "They did put a little candy cane on the rim of my drink to make it look more pretty, but I didn't eat it. Valentina did…"
"I'm so glad you had a good night," Red told her softly.
The lights on the tree twinkled above them as Red leaned forward to kiss Gloria's lips again. Theirs was a love beyond anything either had ever believed to be attainable before.
"I love you, Galina," Gloria whispered. Her wife was another gift she cherished in the completion of a beautiful life.