Character: Selena
Rating: 13+ for drugs and suicide
Warnings: Suicide of a character.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Never has been, never will.
Summary: What would have been her last thoughts if she would have killed herself.
Selena had a feeling something was changing when Gail arrived in town. She couldn't put her finger on it, but something was about to happen. Little did she realize it, but when Gail arrives her relationship with Lucas would change.
Selena soon realizes that Gail was the new woman in Lucas's life. Not that there weren't other woman in Lucas' life throughout the years, but there was always an understanding. Now it's different. Lucas is quickly freezing her out of his life. Especially since that little harlot Gail got pregnant. He's pretty much ended our relationship.
That night she was at rock bottom. She pretty much broke off any kind of relationship with Billy, and Lucas won't talk to her. Even Caleb has decided he didn't need her anymore! A little boy doesn't even want her help!
She was half way through her second bottle of merlot when she made a decision. She drew herself a nice hot bubble bath, she puts on a nice bluesy CD, and lit several candles. She even put her favorite orchids in the bathroom! She had thought about the this moment for the last week. How she was going to do it. Her mind would race each time she thought about it. She didn't know until now that she would go through with it.
Selena wipes away an escaping tear. She wasn't crying over her own pending death. She was crying over the fact that no one would mourn her loss. Not her family. Not Lucas.
Before she has an opportunity to change her mind, she disrobes and sits in the steaming tub. She reaches over and slowly takes over a dozen pills. She sits back and waits for the pills to start making her drowsy. As the pills took affect, Selena picks up the razor blade with a shaking hand. At this point she was still hoping that Lucas would come in and rescue her. But she knew that wouldn't happen. So she took the razor and follows through with her plan.
As Selena's blood seeps into the bath, all her thoughts were still of Lucas and what could have been.