Forever In Fate
A/N Ok, I know that there will be few questions raised with this, the most prominent being at what time it is set. When I was writing it I realised that I involved Yoh's friendship with Faust which would place this at around the second round in Dobie Village, but it is set when they are still at Yoh's home, which is around the time of the first round. So though it doesn't correspond exactly with the SK storyline, I'm sure you can just manage and go along with it, imagine it's kinda AU :)
This is a birthday present to my beloved kitten, Rhiaa, who was mortified at how few AmixYoh fics were out there and how poorly written they were. Well, here's another crappy one for you! Happy birthday my darling wife.
Zephyr
Part One
Fate is something that is foretold; we can never change it. But sometimes, we can predict it. Sometimes, we just know. Funny, isn't it? There are those times we can feel within our hearts that something is meant to be. There are times when we believe with every particle of our being. With our very soul. Like Yoh Asakura knew he was destined to be Shaman King, he also knew that he was never meant to marry Anna. He never saw it in his future. But he tried, oh how he tried. He wanted it to be true. He wanted to be able to keep his promise to her that when he became King, he would make her his Queen. They would marry and have a family together to carry on the Asakura bloodline.
At such a young age he had no idea what he was promising. But now he was a young man, no longer a child, and he wanted to go back in time to deny Anna her request. The day was looming near, the day he wanted to postpone until he found a way to travel back in time. But there was no such thing as time travel, even for the Shaman King. There was nothing he could do. He was fated to marry Anna, and it was an ill fate in his books. It wasn't that he disliked Anna; in fact, he wouldn't know what to do without her. She had proven to be a trustworthy and strong friend, his strength when he needed her, his motivation when he wanted to give up. He cared for her more than he cared for himself, but he didn't love her like that. Anna was his oldest friend but she wasn't the one, and as he understood marriage was about love. When you vowed to remain with that one person for the rest of your life, you had to want it. But he didn't want it. He didn't want her. He didn't love her and he wasn't even attracted to her.
When he watched Faust and Eliza together, he knew he was in the presence of true love. That all-consuming raging inferno that threatened to engulf you but you didn't care. He knew he should feel for Anna the way Faust felt for his Eliza, but he didn't. And the concept of spending the rest of his life bound to Anna held absolutely no appeal to him. It was an absolute. He couldn't do it. But he had to. And that was the worst part. How could he tell Anna he didn't love her enough to marry her? After all she had done for him, and after he had promised her. Yoh was not a man who would go back on his word. If he broke his promises he couldn't be trusted…
"What can I do?" Yoh murmured to himself as he turned over in bed restlessly. A night of fitful sleep lay ahead of him if he was lucky enough to lose consciousness, but it didn't look likely. He wasn't tired. He was wide awake and his mind was a whirlwind of doubt and trepidation. He tossed over again, and again. He tried to centre himself and quiet his mind but he couldn't. So instead he listened to the wind outside, concentrating on that to quieten his mind.
The wind was rustling the autumn leaves. That familiar, gentle and beautiful sound Yoh found very peaceful. It was so very quiet sometimes that he couldn't hear it, but then a little gust would caress the leaves enough to tempt them to sing their little autumnal song for him. The wind itself was whistling gently through his window, left open just an inch or so to keep him cool on a balmy evening. It was hot, even for autumn in Tokyo, and Yoh had long since abandoned his covers and sleeping robe. He opted instead to lounge in his underwear and a white cotton t-shirt but still felt that the room was too humid to be comfortable. He stood up reluctantly and opened the window further, hesitating their as the refreshing cool air hit his face with a soft gust. He closed his eyes to heighten the simple pleasure but when he opened them, the garden looked so tempting to him. The moonlight was reflecting off the pond and turning the rippling waters silver. The sky reflected was inky black. Outside it was cooler with the breeze and in seconds he decided to jump from his window to the ground below. An easy fete for him these days, and he landed with barely a sound made by his bare feet.
The grass was welcoming beneath his feet, tickling his toes in the same way the wind was with his neck, teasing tendrils of hair to brush against his nape. He made his way to the bench overlooking the pond and lay back on it with his hands behind his head, staring up at the sky. It was oddly clear tonight, so clear that there were few stars visible. It seemed the sky was just an endless stretch of black with a single phantom face looming above him, casting a glow of silver light around its spherical self. It could be a desolate sight, but it all depended on your viewpoint. To Yoh, ever the optimist, it was soothing, this feeling of loneliness. It was not an unpleasant loneliness, however, if anything it was a joy to have some alone time without anyone bothering him.
Though being alone meant he was once again alone with his thoughts. And all his thoughts wanted to do tonight was torment him. Suddenly he didn't quite like being alone. Now he wanted the stars to stop playing hide and seek and give him company. He wanted the peculiarly quiet night to come alive. For crickets to chirp or even drunks to stumble down the streets. But it remained silent but for his even breathing and the occasional whisper of wind through the leaves. He sighed and closed his eyes again, and stayed like that for long moment before something disturbed him. He didn't open his eyes, though. He knew what it was.
"Amidamaru." He said softly.
The ghost samurai materialised beside him and looked down at Yoh with a concerned expression that went unnoticed by the teen who still had his eyes closed. The moonlight highlighted the silver in Amidamaru's hair and it appeared to be luminous, almost light itself. It was a stark and beautiful contrast to his coal black eyes that were currently set beneath a frowning brow.
"Yoh, you seem troubled." Amidamaru said, his voice strong and words as sturdy as he was, but they were threaded through with worry.
"…I am, Amidamaru." Yoh sighed again. His confession shocked his samurai friend, even though he knew it to be the truth, it was unlike Yoh to admit to being upset or worried. He always conveyed himself as being strong and disliked troubling others. It was a heavy burden to bear on such young shoulders, but he chose to bear it alone. And that was why Amidamaru's worry was increased tenfold, because he knew Yoh must really be troubled to admit it.
"May I ask what it is that is troubling you?" He asked. Yoh's eyes opened slowly into a half lidded gaze aimed at Amidamaru. His black eyes looked bleak and that scared Amidamaru. The boy was usually so full of life and energy. To see him so saddened was frightening to the ghost.
"I don't want to marry Anna." Yoh replied bluntly. There was no reason to beat around the bush tonight.
"Yoh, this is a sudden revelation – "
"Come on, like you thought I was gonna anyway." Yoh interrupted. "Did you honestly see me spending the rest of my life married to Anna?" He pressed, his eyes holding onto his own. Amidamaru sighed and sat on the ground before Yoh.
"No, I must admit that I did not." He admitted. "But do not misunderstand me, Anna is a lovely young woman – "
"It's ok Amidamaru, I know what you mean." Yoh reassured him, turning onto his side to look at his guardian ghost. "I just can't do it. I can't."
"Have you told Anna?"
"Do you really think I'd still be alive if I had?" Yoh half joked, knowing it was a fact. Anna would kill him if he tried to back out from marrying her. Or at least severely hurt him. "And it's not just that I can't. I won't. I won't marry her. How can I? How can she expect me to? I don't love her! I don't even like her like that. Amidamaru, I'm scared, I don't know what to do." Tears welled up in his eyes and he surprised himself. He didn't realise just how upset he was about it. Amidamaru looked at him, for once not knowing what to say. He, the one always full of words of wisdom and wise sayings was silenced in his uncertainty. He couldn't offer words of solace, but he could offer consolation and comfort. Yoh had stood up, ready to go back inside to bed. His eyes were on the floor; he was too embarrassed about his sudden display of emotion and his confession to meet his friend's eyes. So he didn't see when Amidamaru held out his arms and brought Yoh into their circle.
Amidamaru held Yoh close against his ghostly form. To anybody else it would look like Yoh was standing alone, but to Yoh, Amidamaru was real and solid, if not a little cool. He was a little startled to react at first, but soon welcomed the affection and returned the hug, falling against Amidamaru's broad chest wearily.
"I am sorry, Yoh, I do not know what to say. But I am always here for you to talk to, and what little comfort I can offer I shall." Amidamaru said softly, bowing his head into Yoh's soft hair as the boy held onto him. He felt warm droplets wet his chest and realised Yoh was crying. His body was lightly shaking with his tears and he felt forlorn and useless. What could he do? He didn't want to tell Yoh to follow his heart and leave Anna because if he didn't, that would show him that he didn't approve of he and Anna being together and therefore it would create an eternal awkwardness between them. But if he just let him be unhappy, what kind of friend was he? One who let his friend cry and didn't dry his tears.
"I just…don't know what to do and that scares me." Yoh mumbled into his chest with a tearful voice, his hands clutching desperately to his kosode. Amidamaru tightened his arms around the boy's slender frame.
"Nor do I…" Amidamaru murmured. "Yoh, I believe that whatever decision it is that you come to, it will be undoubtedly the right one. But, if I may speak out of line, in my opinion, if you feel such strong trepidation on the notion of wedding Anna, then it is clearly not what fate has planned for you."
"Fate?" Yoh whispered, recalling his own thoughts earlier in the night. "But what if there is no fate, but the fate we make for ourselves? What if I sealed my fate when I agreed to marry her? What if that is my fate? Nobody ever said that fate was always what we wanted." He ended bitterly.
"How wise you have become Yoh, for someone so young." His companion sighed, holding him as tightly as he could, his heart reaching out for the boy. He tilted Yoh's face up and a cool hand brushed away his tears affectionately. Yoh smiled up at him, but his lips quivered with sorrow.
"I'm sorry…" Yoh said in embarrassment, looking away.
"What is there for you to be apologetic about?" Amidamaru asked in confusion.
"I'm sorry for dragging you into this and for being such a baby." Yoh tried to laugh, but faltered.
"Do not apologise." Amidamaru said sternly. "Yoh, I am not only your guardian ghost but your friend, and as your friend, I will protect you and love you. I would be a pitiful excuse for a friend if I could not console you when you are upset." Yoh chuckled. "Did I say something humorous?" Amidamaru balked.
"Nope, just you always make me feel better, you know. Thanks, Ami."
"…Ami?"
"Yup. It's the first part of your name and it also means friend. So it suits you. It's your new nickname." Yoh grinned and Amidamaru shook his head, laughing. "I'm tired." Yoh yawned.
"Then it is time for rest. It is late." Amidamaru lifted Yoh into his arms and carried him into the house. By the time they reached Yoh's bedroom, he was asleep in the samurai's strong arms, nestled against his chest peacefully. His cheeks glistened, still damp from his tears. Amidamaru lay him down on his futon bed and pulled the covers over him, stroking the hair that clung to his damp cheeks away affectionately. He laid his hand against Yoh's cheek, letting it linger there for a moment. His breath caught when Yoh turned his face towards his hand as though subconsciously desiring his touch. Amidamaru snatched his hand away. Swiftly, he stood and left, finding himself alone on the roof, staring up at the moon with a peculiar longing in his heart.
Part Two
If last night Yoh had seen his future as bleak, then this morning it was downright depressive. Weak from fatigue at many a sleepless night, he was awoken by Anna ordering him to go through yet another of her vigorous training schedules. When he checked his clock he found it was only six thirty in the morning, and he hazarded a guess that he had only slept for four hours at the most. But Anna was Anna, and she was a force to be reckoned with. He dressed quickly, ate quicker, and was out the door seconds later. He ran until he was out of Anna's sight and then stopped, pulling Amidamaru's memorial tablet out of his pocket.
"I've made up my mind." He said when his ghost materialised. "There's no way in hell I can put up with this for the rest of my life."
"I do not blame you, Anna is a stern woman not to be disobeyed." His ghost replied.
"Yeah, well, I can't be bothered with this today. Let's just go for a walk until I have to be back."
"Are you sure that is wise, Yoh?" He said with some concern.
"Wise or foolish, I don't care." He shrugged in response and promptly walked away. "Hey, Amidamaru?"
"Yes, Yoh?"
"Were you ever married?" Yoh asked, taking the samurai completely by surprise. He didn't answer for a long time, choosing instead to float beside Yoh in silence.
"No." He replied eventually. "I never had time to marry. The life of a samurai is a busy one; I had not a spare moment between training and serving my shogun. I never wed before I died." He revealed.
"Did you want to?" Yoh pressed. He didn't know much – or rather, anything – about the samurai's personal life.
"No, I can not say that I did. I spent my younger years with Mosuke and the other orphans, and my life was dedicated to becoming a samurai. Marriage was the last thing on my mind." Amidamaru neglected to inform Yoh of the part where he and Mosuke became lovers or that his sexual preference was men, not women.
"So you never met a girl you wanted to marry? You were never in love?"
"No." Amidamaru lied, mentally apologising to Mosuke. Yes, I was in love, but I never met a girl I wanted to marry. But it would do Yoh no harm to not know this information.
"I'm afraid of never being in love." Yoh confessed. "I don't love Anna, but I want to know what it feels like to love somebody, and to have them love you back. Anna doesn't love me either. She just wants the glory of being Shaman Queen." Amidamaru smiled: he didn't know Yoh was such a romantic.
"Where is the glory when there is no love?" Amidamaru only replied, drifting along with Yoh in silence for the rest of their early morning walk.
When they reached the river, they sat together staring out at the waters. Yoh wore a blank expression on his face, the kind that showed he was deep in thought. His black eyes were shadowed beneath from nights spent tossing and turning. Amidamaru carefully glanced at his master from time to time, his own face not as blank as he would like it to be, for instead it was a painting of his concern for the young man. Yoh remained silent for the rest of the morning, just staring out at the river, or out of the windows, or at nothing at all. When night fell, he ate quietly and excused himself to go to bed.
"Good idea Yoh, you need as much rest as possible. I expect you to be up on time tomorrow for training." Anna snapped sarcastically. Yoh just left without a glance her way, her words like water off a ducks back. His unusual reaction, or rather lack of one, confused and worried Anna. He was never so quiet, and she could swear he looked at her with disdain over dinner. She had brushed it off as annoyance at having to train in the heat but there was something more. There was a depression underlying that disdain. His usual carefree smile was gone. The light in his dark eyes was spluttering for life, almost extinguished. There wasn't only something wrong with Yoh; he just wasn't Yoh any more, and it wasn't the first time she had noticed his recently declining mood.
Maybe I should apologise for being so pushy lately…no, no that won't do at all. He needs a firm hand if he's ever to win the tournament and I'm ever to be queen. She dismissed her fleeting thoughts and continued watching her soap opera on the TV, sipping green tea while above her, Yoh lay in his bed staring at the ceiling, too apathetic to cry at the lost feeling he felt within him. It was akin to that of when he lost his mother, Keiko, in a busy market place and felt like the loneliest person on earth, like he belonged nowhere and would never be happy. At four years old, losing the touch of your mothers hand grasping yours is perhaps the scariest thing when you look up and see only people rushing by you, as tall as trees.
Right now, he didn't know whose hand he wanted, but it sure as hell wasn't Anna's.
Yoh had known he wouldn't be falling asleep any time soon. He just wanted solitude and to be away from Anna. He felt ashamed to admit he was blaming her for how low he was feeling, putting her on a pedestal of hatred and blame in his mind. Though he was used to her sarcasm, cruel comments and put downs, he knew deep inside that she wasn't really the beast she made out she was. But now that he was feeling so down, he chose to overlook that he knew everything she did for him was for his best, that she really did care for him, it was just in her nature to believe in 'tough love' and she chose to apply that to him. Now, she was just a demon with a black heart. Or no heart. If she really had a heart, she wouldn't force Yoh to marry her. If she cared for him at all, she would see how unhappy she made him and amend her ways. Or even ask what was wrong once in a while. Never had she expressed any form of concern for him. Never had she shown any affection towards him. So why did she want to marry him? It was obvious. Just to be Shaman Queen. No other reason.
Yoh had tried to convince himself there were other reasons but drew a blank. And the more he thought about it, the more he demonised her. Didn't he deserve to make a decision once in a while? Didn't he deserve to be happy, just once? To experience love, even heartbreak? Right now the only heartbreak he felt was at the idea of being stuck to her for the rest of his life and never knowing what love felt like.
No, he was wrong. He knew what love felt like. He loved his friends. Manta, Ryu, Ren, Horo Horo, Faust…and most of all, Amidamaru. His beloved guardian ghost. Amidamaru would always be there for him. Amidamaru cared about him and he showed it too. He made him feel better, he comforted him and listened to him and dried his tears. Everything Anna should do but didn't.
He would rather spend the rest of his life with Amidamaru, not Anna.
On the roof, Amidamaru found himself deep in thought too. In the room below him Yoh was staring up at the ceiling, right where he was sat above him. Both were thinking, both were trying to understand their feelings and their lives. Amidamaru despised seeing Yoh so upset. It was so unlike the boy. His easy smile was gone, his optimistic demeanour too. He was a changed man and not for the better. Amidamaru knew it was because of his dread at the concept of marrying Anna, and though he knew he shouldn't, he directed his hatred at her, the cause of Yoh's misery. If only she would stop being so selfish and think for once of somebody else's feelings but her own for once. If only she would leave her little bubble of self righteousness and see that Yoh was acting different. If she cared, she would. If she cared like he did…
Amidamaru closed his eyes and sighed to himself. This would not do at all. He knew what he was feeling and it was wrong. It wasn't right. The overwhelming desire to protect Yoh. The want to spend every moment with him. The hatred at anybody who made him unhappy. The need to be the one who made him happiest. The desire to shield him from misery and hurt. The excruciating temptation to hold him in his arms as he had the night before and tell him…
He loved him.
Yoh knew Amidamaru was on the roof again. He could almost see through the ceiling and the tiles to where the silver-haired samurai was perched. If he closed his eyes he could see him clearly; his hair the same colour as the moonlight, his eyes the colour of the night sky. The light breeze outside would be playing with his hair. If he untied it, it would float behind him, catching the moons rays…
Yoh shook his head. What was he doing thinking of Amidamaru like that? He turned over in his bed and pulled the covers to his chin even though he wasn't cold. He had to get a grip. He had to sort out his head and his heart. He didn't understand anything any more, least of all why he had the desperate urge to go see Amidamaru, to feel safe in his arms again. Lucky for him, he didn't have to embarrass himself by going to his ghost. He came to him, silently. Yoh sat up in reaction as Amidamaru walked over to his bed and sat beside him. He reached for Yoh and the boy instantly fell into his arms, clinging to his waist. He was pushed back a little and then Amidamaru lifted him effortlessly onto his lap where he encircled him with those strong arms and held him close. Yoh leaned against that broad, muscular chest, his head against the bare skin that felt so real, too real. He closed his eyes and stopped thinking, just felt. He just felt the comfort, the security, that Amidamaru offered him and for the first time in days, fell asleep peacefully, knowing it was because he was being held by Amidamaru that made him feel so content. Neither of them said a word to each other, and Amidamaru held onto Yoh for a long, long time after he had drifted to sleep. He gazed down affectionately at the boys sleeping face. With his eyes closed he couldn't see the emptiness reflected in them. In the arms of sleep, the tension in his face was gone. He smoothed his mahogany hair from his face and stroked his thumb over his cheek lovingly.
He allowed himself to hold Yoh protectively just a while longer before he lay him down in his bed and covered him with his blankets, daring to kiss his forehead, his heart clenching at the little sigh the boy made in his sleep in reaction to the touch.
It took all of his will power to leave him sleeping, and that troubled him.
But when he was about to leaving Yoh's, the boy seemed to sense his absence already and his eyes snapped open in panic.
"Where are you going, Ami?" He asked, his voice rusty.
"You were sleeping; I thought it best to let you sleep in peace." Amidamaru answered guiltily.
"No, stay with me. Please?" Yoh pleaded in a small voice. The covers had fallen to his waist in his upright position and his robe was awry, exposing a section of his bare skin, a slit from collarbone to hip that threatened to expose him further if he moved. Amidamaru looked away, ashamed at his thoughts. Yoh was his master, and just a boy. He was his male guardian ghost, and most importantly – dead.
"If that is what you wish…" Amidamaru sighed and turned around. Yoh waited until he was by his side again to lie back down, relaxed once more. Ghostly hands pulled the covers back over him, half to keep Yoh warm, half to shield his own wandering eyes from the exposed flesh.
"Ami?" The samurai winced at the use of his nickname. There was something intimate about that fact only Yoh called him that.
"Yes, Yoh?" Amidamaru answered softly, daring to touch his face, cupping one side with a single phantom hand. Yoh looked at him with surprise in his innocent eyes but didn't flinch from the touch.
"Lie with me?" He requested, his voice so quiet, so unsure, it reminded the ghost of just how innocent the boy was, just how young, and just how wrong his desire to kiss him was. He couldn't reply, instead, he satisfied himself with granting his masters wish and sliding beside him beneath the covers that Yoh held up for him. Yoh shuffled to the side and waited for Amidamaru to adjust himself, then dared to cuddle close to him. His guardian only lifted his arms and wrapped it around Yoh, who lay his head against his chest and noticed that Amidamaru had no scent. Then he mentally hit himself for being so stupid. If the peculiar feeling of holding onto something he though akin to what really thick, condensed air would feel like wasn't enough of a giveaway, he didn't know what was. For although Amidamaru felt real enough to him, he didn't feel alive. His 'skin' was cool and he knew if he concentrated enough, he could walk right through him. But being a shaman, he could feel Amidamaru, even if he didn't feel like a normal human or have a heartbeat, it was his heart that was the largest, his heart that gave him comfort.
His heart he desired.
Yoh pretended to sleep but didn't. Instead, he thought for the first time in a long while not of Anna and marriage. Now, he mulled over the peculiar feeling in his stomach at the contact he was making with his guardian ghost. There was a fluttering in his stomach, something he had never felt before, like there were thousands of little butterflies fluttering their wings inside of him. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling. If anything, he kinda liked it. It made him feel a little giddy.
Amidamaru was feeling much the same, except he, being six hundred and twenty four (going on six hundred and twenty five) years old, knew just what he was feeling: that sensation of falling, but not being afraid. Because he was falling in love. He realised this with a different sense of falling, one he didn't much care to feel. He knew it was wrong. It was so, so very wrong. He couldn't fall in love with Yoh. He just couldn't. He was a boy, and alive, and his shaman master. He was betrothed to Anna, who was, unlike him, still in possession of a pulse.
"Yoh?" The samurai whispered. He was met with no response for the boy had finally drifted back into sleep, feeling safe in the knowledge he was not alone any more. Amidamaru was glad he was asleep. He wasn't sure just what he would say if he wasn't.
Part Three
The morning greeted them with soft light through the windows and birds singing good morning. Yoh awoke when the suns rays fell over his eyes. He screwed them shut and groaned at the intrusion on his first peaceful nights sleep in days. As his sleep-clouded mind regenerated itself, he recalled just why he had slept so well and sheepishly glanced over his shoulder to where Amidamaru was watching him with a bemused smile on his face. The faint blush on Yoh's cheeks only made his eyes twinkle as he prevented himself chuckling at the adorable sight of the bed-rumpled Yoh, who's hair was mussed up and eye sleepily half-lidded. He offered Amidamaru a little, self-conscious smile.
"Morning." He mumbled through a yawn.
"Good Morning, Master Yoh." Amidamaru inclined his head slightly. Yoh frowned at the formality.
"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that? It makes me sound like a tyrant or something."
"A tyrant?" Amidamaru coked his head in confusion at his choice of word.
"Yeah, like, you're calling me master and stuff, it makes me feel cruel, like a evil shogun or something." Amidamaru chuckled heartily and stroked Yoh's hair.
"You are certainly not a 'tyrant', so cease your worrying. I just say it in respect for you."
"Well don't. I'm not your master." Yoh grumbled, falling back down onto the pillow. He felt Amidamaru's arm wrap around his waist and pull him against his spectral form.
"If it is your wish, I will never call you 'master' again…Yoh."
"It is." He mumbled into his pillow. Amidamaru laughed silently and just bowed is head into Yoh's sweet-smelling hair, inhaling deeply and silencing the part of his brain that told him he should leave right now, let him go. But his small form against his felt so right. "Hey Ami?"
"Yes, Yoh?" He answered.
"…nothing." Yoh smiled.
That morning, Yoh was in a happier mood at the breakfast table and this did not go unnoticed by Anna. It was against her nature to ask him why his mood had improved, so she just ate in silence and reminded him he had to run ten miles before nine, and then he had strength training. Yoh wanted to groan but gave her a false smile and jogged out of the door with Amidamaru floating beside him. He instantly regretted his decision to jog. Outside, the temperature was even more scorching hot than it had been in the past week. The sun was burning so hot that the air seemed to be hazy and moving.
"Oh man, this is unbearable!" Yoh exclaimed, wiping his brow with the back of his hand. "It must be at least ninety degrees out here!"
"I remember Tokyo summers…" Amidamaru said almost to himself.
"I forgot, you can't feel the heat can you?" Yoh asked. He wondered just what he could feel. "What can you feel?" He voiced.
"Well, I can sense the higher temperature but it does not affect me like it does you. I can feel things but it feels different to how it did when I was alive. I do not feel pain but I can grow weary when my energy depletes."
"Can you feel…me?" Yoh asked, thankful his cheeks were already red from running in the sun.
"Yes, I can. Only it is different. I can not word how."
"It's ok, I wouldn't be able to get my head around it any way, I think my brains fried from this heat!" Yoh laughed but still kept up his pace. "You feel kinda like solidified air." He added.
"I can not imagine how that feels." Amidamaru responded, wondering if Yoh had been doing the same as him and remembering his touch.
"I know, it makes no sense!" Yoh chuckled and picked up his pace.
Yoh decided to jog a different route and Amidamaru recognised where they were heading. Monument Hill, where he had died and where he had first met Yoh. It gave a whole new meaning to 'bittersweet memories'. He said nothing, only followed Yoh obediently as he ran up the stairs and to the tree. He collapsed onto the grass, panting in the summer heat wave, sweat trickling all over his over-heated skin. He wiped at his brow again, his hair limp and sticking to his face. He pushed it away impatiently and fanned himself with his hand, giving up, and pulling his simple white cotton t-shirt over his head. Amidamaru inwardly groaned and tried to tear his eyes away but failed. Yoh's newly exposed skin glistened with sweat and his chest was heaving heavily as he fought to regain his breath. He had a slender and lithe figure, muscles not at all obvious at first, but his figure was like that of a panther, elegantly sleek.
Amidamaru had to force himself to look away, blushing deeply and knowing if he had a heart, it would be racing furiously right now. A long-forgotten desire was awakened within him, one he knew should stay sleeping. He sat cross-legged on the grass, distancing himself from Yoh, and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself and quiet the call crying to him. However hard he tried, it didn't wish to be silenced, that call of Lust.
Blades of grass tickled Yoh's bare back and sides as he lay in the shade of the tree, relaxing after five miles of torture in the agonising heat. His muscles were screaming at him.
"You're lucky you can't feel this heat." He groaned to Amidamaru. "I wouldn't mind being a ghost right now."
"Do not say that Yoh." Amidamaru warned. "You never know when you will get what you wish for."
"I guess you're right. But it wouldn't be that bad. I'd have you, wouldn't I?" He grinned sincerely and the samurai couldn't help but smile back at the boy. "This isn't too weird for you, is it?" Yoh frowned.
"What? No, not at all, why would it be?"
"Well…this is where you died and all…" Yoh shrugged. "I shouldn't have come here, I'm sorry, let's go."
"No." Amidamaru placed a firm hand on his thigh to stop him standing. "I mean, we do not need to leave, I feel no discomfort being here. It was a very long time ago and I am not burdened by those past memories now." He added, feeling a little embarrassed at his suddenness and even more so when he realised his hand was still on Yoh's thigh. He pulled it away quickly and the boy blushed a little.
"Ok." He shrugged again. They remained quiet for a while, both only staring out at the city below them. "This is where we first met." Yoh suddenly said, surprising the samurai.
"Yes, I know." Amidamaru smiled to himself.
"And where we first performed spirit unity." Yoh added.
"How could I forget?" Yes, how could he forget the feeling of being one with Yoh for the first time?
"Amidamaru?"
"Yes, Yoh?"
"You're not ever gonna leave me, are you?" He asked. Amidamaru snapped his head towards Yoh.
"No. No, never. Of course not. Why would you even think that?" It pained him to think he had done something to make Yoh believe he would leave him.
"I dunno, I guess I'm just paranoid. I don't wanna lose you." Yoh turned his face away when he blushed further.
"I am not going anywhere, Yoh."
"You promise?" He said in a small voice.
"A samurai's honour goes into his word, and I give you that. I promise I will never leave you." He reached for Yoh hesitantly but the boy surprised him yet again by quickly leaning against him, a smile on his lips.
"You're so cool. It's soothing." Yoh mumbled, moving closer to his ghost, who stared down at him affectionately. Yoh looked up without warning and caught the warm gaze aimed at him. Their eyes locked, neither able to look away for some reason, both compelled to stay exactly as they were. Yoh's heart sped up when he saw the love in his samurai's eyes, and he didn't want to look away. He couldn't. He wanted to drown in that love. It was all he had ever wanted, still wanted, wanted from him…
Amidamaru reach his hand up to Yoh's youthful face and stroked his cheek lovingly. The cool caress sent shivers down Yoh's spine and though he was almost scared by what he saw in his friend's eyes, he didn't move. He didn't move when Amidamaru tilted his face up and ever so slowly leaned down as to not scare him. Yoh stopped breathing when he realised what was happening. But still he made to action to move and only anticipated Amidamaru's lips making contact with his own…
He didn't need to wait long. The silver-haired samurai pressed his lips so gently against Yoh's that he could barely feel anything, just a cool pressure. But then, the arm around his waist tightened and the hand that was cupping his face moved to the back of his head, where Amidamaru kept him firmly in place as he deepened the kiss abruptly. Yoh's eyes widened in shock before he closed them, sighing a little in ecstasy when that pressure increased and somehow, the cool kiss burned with fire. He sheepishly slipped his arms around Amidamaru's neck and his body was pressed even closer to his. A coolness engulfed him, yet it made his temperature soar as beneath the suns blazing rays, in the sweltering heat of summer, Amidamaru's cool tongue licked across his lower lip hungrily before pushing into his mouth and seeking his own to play with. He gasped into the kiss as Amidamaru's tongue caressed his and the hand about his waist caressed his side with phantom fingers.
The kiss was broken breathless moments later and Yoh stared up at Amidamaru with a confused expression on his face as he touched his lips with his fingers.
"I-I'm sorry Yoh, that was out of order – " Amidamaru began apologising but he was stopped by the teen crushing his lips forcefully against his own, his words lost and logic crushed as once again their tongues met. Amidamaru pushed Yoh onto his back and the boy looked at him in surprise, a look that normally would have registered with the samurai but lying on his back, his skin bare skin glistening under the sun and his lips red and slick…he just knelt over him and passionately kissed him once again. He was met with no resistance, quite the opposite in fact. Yoh wound his arms around his neck once more and pulled him down onto him, kissing him back with just as much ardour. His fingers tangled in Amidamaru's hair and once again, the image of him with his hair loose intruded on his mind. He wasted no time in freeing it from its ties and running his hands through the silky lengths.
Amidamaru's own hand slid up the length of his body to his chest, but he stopped when Yoh broke the kiss, gasping as the cool hand lay across his chest, playing games with his senses. His whole body was aflame but everywhere Amidamaru touched was bathed in a peculiar sensation that alternated between chillingly cold and blisteringly hot. His kisses were like nothing he had ever experienced before, it was like electricity was running through his body whenever their lips connected. He looked up at Amidamaru and his heart stopped at the way his long hair fell around his angular, handsome face. He touched his hair again and Amidamaru looked down at him with a peculiar expression on his face.
"I love you, Yoh." Amidamaru murmured before leaning back down again and kissing Yoh softer this time. When he pulled away Yoh looked as though he might cry.
"I love you, too." Yoh choked before tears escaped his eyes. He startled Amidamaru, but he instantly brought him into his arms. Yoh crawled onto his lap and was held there as Amidamaru stroked his hair.
"Yoh…" Said boy looked up. "I really do love you. I know it is wrong but – "
"How is it wrong?" Yoh frowned, looked adorable. His samurai brushed his tears away.
"Because I am your guardian ghost." He began. "And you are betrothed to Anna."
"I don't want her. I want you." Yoh whispered against his chest, his voice full on conviction. "And you said you would never leave me."
"And I won't. But Yoh, this can not be what you truly want. I am, after all, a six hundred year old ghost. And I'm male – "
"What has that got to do with it?" Yoh snapped, his brown furrowing cutely again.
"Nothing at all, but, I, well, I did not think that you were – "
"Gay?" Yoh finished for him. "Neither did I." He sighed.
"You did not?" Amidamaru asked in confusion. Yoh shook his head.
"No. But I'm young, and I've never really done anything until today, but I knew I didn't like Anna, not just because of her, but because I wasn't attracted to her like I was you…" He trailed off, blushing. "I knew I liked you a while ago. But it confused me and I didn't want to do anything stupid." He finished bravely, hiding his face against Amidamaru's broad and muscular chest.
"I am happy." Amidamaru stated. Neither said anything more, only sat holding onto each other until Yoh remembered he had to get back to Anna, his 'betrothed'. Both were also highly aware that their bare chests were touching. Yoh wanted to continue sitting on his samurai's lap, feeling those cold hands stroke his back but he stood up and pulled his shirt back on. Amidamaru mourned the loss of the smooth skin and wanted so desperately to feel his hot body against his. It felt so real, so solid.
"We should get back. I have another five miles to run." Yoh said, and Amidamaru nodded in agreement before gabbing hold of Yoh once more and pulling him into another embrace, kissing him deeply. All of his longing and love translated into that kiss and Yoh hoped his did too. When they broke, it was reluctantly, but Yoh just ran. He ran fast, away from where he wanted to be, in Amidamaru's arms, and towards where he wanted to run away from; Anna.
Part Four
Anna was, as he expected, more than a little pissed off that he was late, but eventually he escaped her and now he was lowering himself into the bath. Although it was swelteringly hot, the water soothed his aching muscles and he relaxed in the warmth, closing his eyes and breathing out his nose as he submerged himself. Beneath the water, all noise was muffled, but not that of his thoughts.
I don't want to marry Anna…I'm in love with Amidamaru…I love a ghost…He's a man…That must make me gay…I want to kiss him again…I can't marry Anna…I just want to be happy…
His train of thought was more fragments of everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours: his disdain for Anna, his longing for Amidamaru, and his confusion at his own sexuality. He was in love with a man. That made him gay. Or bi-sexual, possibly. But…he had never found a female attractive before. Sure, he was thought they looked attractive but not been attracted to them. Not like he was with Amidamaru. Amidamaru, with his long, silvery locks and smouldering, intense eyes. His atrociously handsome and angular face, his equally atrociously muscled physique. The way his robes bared his impressive chest…
Yoh could have lost himself reminiscing of the feeling of Amidamaru's lips, but he knew he couldn't. He was confused. He hadn't quite registered that he had just kissed his guardian ghost. A ghost. His first kiss had been with a ghost. And a guy. That made him gay, right?
Am I gay? Yoh wondered as he gasped for air, emerging from the steaming water. Yes…I love Amidamaru, a man. I kissed him. But I'm supposed to marry Anna. But I don't want to. But what will my parents say? How can I tell them that I'm…I'm gay? And with my guardian ghost, a long-dead man who's over six hundred years older than me. Oh god, what am I supposed to do?
Yoh submerged himself again with the vain hope he could drown out his thoughts.
Amidamaru was again on the roof, his thinking place. But now there was no silver moon for him to gaze upon, only the blazing golden orb of the sun. He knew it would be blisteringly hot right now. He knew the sun would be making everybody feel uncomfortable. He knew it would be burning tender skin. But he would give anything to feel that burn. He would give anything to be able to feel Yoh properly, not with his muted spirit senses.
He would give anything to know what to do.
Mentally, he cursed himself for being so stupid. He knew he never should have started anything, for now, things were twice as confusing as they had been before, and he knew Yoh would be experiencing it even worse. He was in enough turmoil as it was with the Shaman Tournament and his worries over marrying Anna.
Anna. He cursed the name.
She was the one who had made Yoh so miserable. But, it was his misery that drove him into Amidamaru's arms. Was that a good thing? Did he truly love him, as he had claimed, or did he only seek comfort? So many questions whirred around his mind, driving him insane. He longed for clarity. He longed for Yoh. He longed to hold Yoh in his arms again. He longed to kiss him again and again, to caress him, to feel his bare skin against his…he longed to be alive again so that he could truly feel him. For hundreds of years, he had never wished for that, but now he dared to wish. He dared to wish for a second chance at life. Never had he had cause to want to live again but now he did. Now he had love.
For indeed, where is the glory when there is no love?
Yoh was at a crisis point. He was overwhelmed with everything that had just happened and didn't know how to sort his head out. Normally, he would talk to Amidamaru, but he couldn't now. He couldn't tell him that he wasn't sure what he wanted, or of anything really. His mind was full of screaming and he couldn't make sense of it. He needed somebody to talk to, but who? Instantly, he thought of Manta, his best friend. But though he was his best friend, how could he tell him that he was gay and in love with his guardian ghost? What if he rejected him? What if he laughed at him? Or was disgusted at him? Well, he would never know unless he tried. And so he waited for Manta at their favourite smoothie place, absently sipping at a mango and papaya smoothie through a twirly straw as he watched out of the window for his vertically challenged friend. He appeared behind him instead.
"Hey Yoh." He greeted, apparently having come through the other doors.
"Hey Manta." Came the forcefully happy reply. "Want a drink?" He offered.
"Sure. Strawberry and kiwi." He smiled happily, sitting at the seat opposite Yoh as his taller friend went to get his smoothie. He instantly noticed that there was something off about him and decided he would ask him what was up with him as soon as he returned. When he did, he slid the tall glass of pink liquid over to him and sat down in his seat again, adjusting his orange headphones. "So…what's up?" Manta questioned him.
"Well…" Yoh sighed. "There's something I need to tell ya. I need to get something of my chest and kinda need some advice, but not here." He jerked his head at all the people crowding the popular café, all desperate for some relief in the summer sunshine. Manta understood: Yoh was serious. He quickly finished his smoothie and they walked together in the heat, finding themselves at the bridge. They sat with their feet dangling above the river in silence until Yoh finally found the courage to speak.
"Manta, if I tell you something about me, do you promise not to freak out?"
"You're getting me to promise not to make a reaction you're assuming I will make regarding something you haven't told me yet? Uhm, ok, I promise."
"Manta, I…" He began, but faltered. "I'm…well, I kinda think, well, I know, that is to say…I'm gay." He stumbled, squeezing his eyes shut to brace himself for Manta's reaction. But there was none. He dared to open one eye and glance at his short friend, but he was just staring wide-eyed out at the river. "Oh man, I knew I'd freak you out. I'm gonna go now." Yoh made to stand up but was stopped by Manta.
"You don't have to go. It's ok, I'm not freaked out, I was just surprised. So what if you're gay? I'm not homophobic or anything and I'm really happy that you could tell me."
"Well, you're the only person who knows." Except for Amidamaru.
"Really? Wow, I feel privileged. So uhm, when did you like, find out?" Yoh laughed light-heartedly.
"I guess I've always known. You just do. But I kinda really realised it a few days ago."
"How?" Manta asked, and Yoh winced. He had been dreading that question.
"Well here's the part I thought you might get freaked out about."
"It's not Ryu is it?" Manta asked jokingly and Yoh laughed again, tears springing to his eyes.
"No, no it's not Ryu. It's er, well, a few days ago I realised I had feelings for somebody and I found out today that they felt the same, and we're kinda in love, and, well, we kissed and – "
"Just tell me who it is!" Manta exclaimed, growing impatient and dying to find out.
"It's Amidamaru." Yoh forced himself to say, squeezing his eyes shut again as he heard Manta's gasp.
"Amidamaru!?" Manta choked.
"Y-yeah. Weird, huh?" Yoh chuckled nervously. "I know it makes no sense but Manta," his tone grew serious and he locked eyes with his friend "I love him." He sighed, finally making sense of his thoughts. It was obvious: he loved Amidamaru, not Anna. He didn't want to marry Anna. He had to tell her that. He had to follow his heart.
"Well, I'm really happy for you Yoh, but there's just a few things I wanna ask. First of all, Amidamaru's kinda dead, isn't he? So how is that going to work?" Yoh seemed to be unable to stop sighing today.
"I don't know. I honestly don't know. I love him but I'm not stupid. The fact that he's dead is a bit of an obstacle but I'm sure we'll find a way around it."
"Ok, well, good luck with that!" Manta said cheerfully. "There's one other thing…"
"Oh? Shoot."
"What about Anna?" Yoh's heart fell. So he wasn't the only one seeing her as the other obstacle. "I mean, you are engaged and all."
"Yeah, we are."
Yoh didn't see much of Amidamaru that day, it seemed the samurai had to clear his head too. It wasn't until nightfall that he returned, appearing in his bedroom as he dressed for bed. When he saw Yoh was only in his underwear, he blushed and apologised profusely.
"It's ok, I'm dressed now any way." He offered an easy smile and his friend relaxed. Yoh sat on his futon and stared up at Amidamaru expectantly.
"I think we should talk." He said eventually. Yoh nodded and gestured for him to sit down, which he did. He sat in front of Yoh rather than next to him. "What happened today…"
"I don't regret it." Yoh blurted out.
"Nor do I, Yoh. I never will." He dared to take hold of one of Yoh's hands. Just that small touch alone made Yoh shudder. He had longed for the familiar coolness all day. "I do love you."
"Me too." Yoh replied, his heart brimming with happiness. "And I want to be with you but, obviously, there's a few things that we need to talk about."
"Yes, I agree that we need to talk. Yoh, I have to tell you this; I do not regret today. Kissing you will remain my sweetest memory but it should remain as only a memory. I love you but…this cannot work. I am a ghost, and you are alive."
"But Amidamaru – " Yoh choked.
"And I am your guardian ghost, too. It is my duty to protect you and I am not protecting you unless I have what is best for you in mind, and what is best for you is not being with me." Amidamaru finished with a sigh. He felt Yoh's hand go limp within his own.
"But Amidamaru…I love you." Yoh whispered tearfully. His head jerked up and he met his eyes fiercely. "I love you. I don't care if you're a ghost, I love you! And what is best for me is having you by side, and having your love." He cried, tears spilling from his eyes. Amidamaru looked at him with a forlorn expression.
"Yoh, I cannot give you everything Anna can – "
"Don't mention her!" Yoh cried out in a fit of rage. "I don't want her, I want you! And she can give me nothing! You can give me your love!" He sobbed, his shoulders heaving. It tore at Amidamaru's heartstrings and he pulled Yoh to him. The boy collapsed awkwardly and adjusted himself so that, once again, Amidamaru was embracing him fiercely, holding onto him like he was afraid he would disappear.
"I just do not know what to do. I want what is best for you, but I do not want to ever let you go. I want to hold you forever. I love you so much, Yoh, so much that it hurts."
"Then never let me go. Promise me you will never let me go." Amidamaru hesitated before giving into his fate.
"I promise, Yoh. I will never let you go, and I will stay by your side forever." Finally, Yoh smiled. How could he not smile at such beautiful words? And Yoh's smile in turn made Amidamaru smile too, before he gently cupped Yoh's face in his hands and brushed his lips against his ever so softly, once, twice, and again and again until they fell back on the futon together. Yoh lay beneath Amidamaru's large translucent form, surrendering to his kisses that grew more and more heated and passionate. It was so peculiar that he could feel Amidamaru yet he was weightless above him.
He could barely breathe; his heart was racing so fast he thought he might have a heart attack. He was pretty close to one: his heart stopped completely when he felt Amidamaru's cool lips at the junction where his neck met his shoulder. But it began hammering violently against his chest once again when Amidamaru nibbled gently at his skin before biting down just a little roughly, making Yoh gasp loudly and tighten his grip in Amidamaru's hair, tugging at it forcefully. Amidamaru placed kisses all over his neck, and he tilted his head to one side to offer him more skin to ravish. He felt like he was drowning, drowning in a euphoria. It was like his whole body was charged with electricity. When Amidamaru's lips found his own again, he gladly parted them to let his tongue slip into his mouth once more, while his hand slipped pushed his robe apart slightly to reveal his chest. His hand caressed the exposed skin, making Yoh shiver and gasp alternately, and then moan softly when ghostly fingers circled one of his nipples. Yoh's moan made Amidamaru want him even more, and he drew the line there; he knew he was running out of control and though he desperately wanted to hear that beautiful sound again, he reluctantly pulled away from Yoh, still hovering above him but now his lips had lost their partners and his hands did not seek warm flesh.
"We should stop." He said softly but firmly, more to himself that Yoh.
"But, we don't have to – " Yoh argued, desperately wanting to continue.
"Yes, we do. And you should sleep now, it is late." Amidamaru began to sit up but was stopped by Yoh clutching a fistful of his robes.
"I don't want to. I don't wanna stop, or sleep." He couldn't keep the whine out of his voice.
"Nor do I, Yoh, but I fear that if I continue, I will not be able to stop. So I must leave you now." He warned him gently. "Goodnight, Yoh." He kissed him once last time, a feathery and loving kiss, their lips lingering together longer than he intended before he pulled away and disappeared.
"Amidamaru…" Yoh reached for him where he had once been, but now his hand met only with air. "I didn't want you to stop…" He sighed. He lay back on his futon, alone now, his skin still tingling from the samurai's hands and lips. His lips felt cool to the touch, and if he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine Amidamaru was still there with him, where he should be.
Part Five
"Yoh! I told you to clean the kitchen!" Anna snapped, in another one of her foul moods that rubbed off on everybody else, including the once cheerful Yoh.
"I did…" He grumbled.
"I said clean it, not do a half-assed job of it!" She spat. He just sighed, hating her, hating this day. He had spent over three hours cleaning the house, and that was after his usual morning training schedule. He just wanted to lie down and relax, maybe listen to some music, and hopefully see Amidamaru…
"I didn't do a half-assed job, Anna." He snapped back at her, too tired to care. "And if you're not satisfied with it, get off your lazy ass and do it yourself." She gawped at him, stunned. "Yeah. Don't call me lazy or tell me I do half-assed jobs, cause you never once lift a finger around this place, you just sit there on your throne with your 'I'm the fucking queen of everything' attitude and order people around. And I'm sick of it. You do it." He finished, storming out of the house and grabbing Amidamaru's memorial tablet on the way. He shoved it in his pocket and felt it pulsating with energy. So that's where he had been hiding all day. He pulled it out again and lovingly traced his finger over the inscribed name.
"Amidamaru." He read in a quiet voice, calling to his guardian ghost. Said ghost appeared before him, his majestic figure so reassuring to see. He took one look at Yoh's exhausted expression and gathered him into his arms quickly, crushing him with his strength. But Yoh didn't complain. It was comforting, feeling those strong arms around him. He was just so tired. All his energy was drained and his spirit was too. His aching muscles were crying out for a little relaxation time, but there was none to be had at Castle Anna. His soul was just as weary from the confusion of everything that was happening to him. Falling in love with his guardian ghost, trying to think of a way of getting out of marrying the demon that was Anna, knowing he had to win the Shaman Tournament because as an Asakura, he was the only one with any hope of defeating his 'twin brother' Hao. That terrified him. He had to defeat, maybe even kill, his twin brother who was also some kind of ancestor. His ancestor twin that was the most powerful shaman in the world. The twin that had more furyoku than he and his friend combined and multiplied by ten.
He didn't even want to be Shaman King, he just wanted to be happy. He wanted to be with Amidamaru. He didn't want to put him in danger. He didn't want to fight any more. He appreciated his family history but why him? Why did he have to be born at the time of the tournament? He was only in the competition because, to put it lightly, the fate of the world rested on his skinny shoulders. The fate of the world…it was a terrifying notion. If he didn't win against Hao, he would kill all humans who weren't shaman. He hoped the world appreciated that he was sacrificing his happiness and risking not only his life, but his friends lives, to save them.
Yeah, right. Normal humans had no idea shaman's even existed. They thought that stuff stayed in the tribes of Africa, not on the streets of Tokyo, New York and London. It's a funny thing, fate.
"Ooh, how touching." A voice from behind them mocked. "The almighty Yoh Asakura is cuddling up to his guardian ghost." Yoh turned around and faced the owner of the sarcastic voice. Two girls, not much older than he, stood watching him. The one who had made the cocky remark wore a deep purple and gold kimono and her hair was black as a raven's wing and was piled high in an ornate geisha-style up do, decorated with gold chrysanthemum hair pins and fresh sakura blossoms. She was beautiful, but obviously trouble. Her hands were hidden by the long sleeves that trailed to the floor and were embroidered with a pattern of cherry blossoms. The other girl was shorter and younger, but appeared to be her sister. She too had jet-black hair and the same azure blue eyes, but she wore a kimono that was blue and silver and her obi was green as opposed to blue. Yoh could see no weapons, but that didn't matter. They were most likely going to reveal them any moment now and he really wasn't in the mood to fight.
"What do you want?" He sighed, tilting his head to the side and hearing a satisfying crack.
"We want you, my dead – I mean, dear – boy, to fight us." The tall one said again. She had an air of self-importance, just like Anna, and that pissed Yoh off.
"I'm not really in the mood to fight, so why don't you go home and play with your dolls or something?" He said flippantly, turning to walk away.
"Don't you dare turn your backs on us!" She exclaimed furiously. "Don't you know who we are?"
"No, I don't. And I don't care." He yawned. Amidamaru watched him with concerned eyes before turning them back to the enemy, ready to fight if he had to. He refused to let Yoh be harmed.
"Don't you walk away from us!" The smaller one screamed. Yoh stopped and slowly turned around.
"Ok then, tell me, who are you?" He asked in a quiet, angry voice.
"We are the Sakura sisters." The tall one said as though it were obvious. "We are part of Hao's team of shaman, making us two of the strongest shaman in the world."
"That's nice. Are you done now?" Yoh said, yawning again.
"No, we are not done now! We came here to fight you, Yoh Asakura!" She exclaimed. "I am Mana Sakura, and I challenge you to a fight!" The tall one said gallantly.
"And I am her sister, Kimi Sakura. You will fight us both, for we are a team!"
"You're trying to start a fight with an unarmed man? How brave of you." Yoh hissed sarcastically.
"I'm sure the mighty twin of Hao can come up with something. I'm surprised though, I knew you were weak, but I didn't realise you were stupid too. A contestant in the Shaman Tournament should never be unarmed. Oh well, your stupidity is your own fault. But I'd like to introduce you to our guardian ghosts." Mana grinned. "Chiyuki!" She called.
"Sayuri!" Kimi called. Two ghosts appeared by their sides. They were the ghosts of geisha, most likely from the nineteenth century. But behind their painted faces, their black eyes were hard and Amidamaru could sense they were powerful spirits.
"These are our guardian ghosts, Chiyuki and Sayuri. But don't let their beauty fool you, these lovely ladies were once assassins, but now they serve us." Mana boasted. "So, are you ready, Asakura?"
"Ready for what?" He sighed. Both girls performed spirit control, and that is when Yoh realised what their weapons were. Both had two katana's hidden in their long sleeves that they now revealed. So they had four weapons, and Yoh had none.
"Yoh! We must do something, they are about to attack!" Amidamaru exclaimed, standing in front of Yoh to protect him.
"I know, but I don't have my sword or the antiquity!" Yoh panicked. "All we can do is perform unity until we can find a weapon." He decided.
"Quickly, then we'll lead them back to yours and we can get the swords!" Yoh nodded.
"Amidamaru! Spirit Form! Unity!" He cried, sending his ghost into his heart. He turned to face his enemies as they advanced speedily towards him, crying battle calls, their swords in delicate hands. Yoh had no other option. He had no time to dodge the attack. He had to fight.
The sisters were horrendously fast and before Yoh could blink, they had struck with full force.
"Blossom Typhoon!" They cried in unison, and the force of their attack knocked Yoh back twenty yards, his skin grazing painfully against the hot ground. He winced in pain and Amidamaru spoke to him from within him.
Yoh, we must find a weapon! He rushed. Get up, quickly! Here they come again! Amidamaru warned. But Yoh was too slow. He was too exhausted from the days training and non-stop work, from sleepless nights. His mind was clouded with confusion, and he couldn't think straight. But he could register the pain, and that motivated him to dodge the next attack just in time before blade hissed past him, catching his upper arm. He cried out and leapt to his feet, running.
"Coward!" Mana cried after him, and they began the chase. Yoh could dodged attack after attack as he wound through back streets, desperately trying to get home and on his way find something that could work as a weapon. He threw trash cans in their path but they only leaped clear over them and soon were only inches behind him. Yoh forced his legs to run faster, attempting to throw them off course by leaping onto a wall and jumping over it into somebody's back yard. He jumped onto another wall and onto the roof, running over it and preparing himself to leap down.
"Ah-aah!" He cried as his sandal caught in a loose tile and he lost his footing.
Yoh! No! Amidamaru cried as Yoh hurtled over the edge of the roof and plummeted to the ground. Amidamaru broke spirit unity and tried to reach the ground before Yoh did to catch him, but he wasn't fast enough. Yoh hit the floor hard on his back. He screamed out as he felt his shoulder dislocate and splintering pain in his chest as he felt ribs break.
"No! Master Yoh!" Amidamaru cried mournfully. The girls landed on the ground beside them, cackling wickedly. Mana pointed her swords at Yoh, while Kimi threatened Amidamaru.
"So much for the great Yoh Asakura!" Mana laughed wretchedly. "And his legendary samurai warrior, Amidamaru. What a disappointment."
"Don't you dare lay a hand on Yoh! It is you who are the cowards, attacking a defenceless and wounded man! Where is the dignity in such behaviour?" Amidamaru spread his arms out to shield Yoh. Mana tsked.
"Where is the dignity? Who cares about dignity when we can have the glory of killing Yoh Asakura? Lord Hao will be best pleased to find that we dispersed another weak shaman from the world."
"Back off, samurai." Kimi hissed, slashing at Amidamaru. He took the blow to his chest, not budging an inch. He refused to let them hurt Yoh. He had to predict their next move so he could swiftly grab Yoh and take him to safety. He would have to take him to Anna to take to the hospital. He was injured bad, but he was still conscious. But only just.
"Amidamaru…" Yoh whispered in a weak voice, trying to reach for him but instead, tears leaked out of his eyes and a silent scream was caught in his throat. His shoulder was definitely dislocated. Amidamaru turned to look at him, feeling his agony as though it were his own, and tears sprung to his eyes and anger to his heart. Yoh's eyes closed slowly.
"You cowards!" Amidamaru roared, drawing his swords. It was the last thing Yoh heard before his vision descended in black. In the moment Amidamaru had looked at Yoh when he called his name, Mana had switched sides and was now behind him.
"Say goodbye to your precious master." She hissed. He looked over his shoulder just in time to see Mana drive her katana through Yoh, barely missing his heart. Her mark would have been dead on and she would have killed him instantly, if it wasn't for the chilling presence behind her.
"Now, now Mana, I didn't order you to do this, did I?" A voice so like Yoh's said from behind her. Amidamaru looked up and saw Hao perched in the hand of his Fire Spirit. "Look what you've done to my beloved brother. That's going to leave a nasty scar." He tutted. "And Kimi! I'm so very disappointed in you."
"Hao!" Amidamaru clenched his fists around the hilts of his sword.
"Calm down Amidamaru, I'm not here to fight you, and it would really do you no good to try. I'm here to save my brother." He chuckled darkly. "Mana. Kimi. It's time for your punishment." His Fire Spirit effortlessly scooped them up in its free hand and clenched it tightly around them. Their screams wailed in the air as slowly they caught fire. Hao laughed maliciously as they slowly, slowly burnt up. Even as their flesh melted and skin turned black, their wailing echoed through the air.
"Hao! Stop it! Stop it!" Amidamaru bellowed, but it fell upon deaf ears. Soon the screaming silenced and there was no trace of Mana and Kimi Sakura left but the gut-wrenching smell of burnt flesh and the putrid smell of blood and singed hair. Hao only glanced at the distraught samurai who was on his knees trying to apply pressure to Yoh's wound, but not succeeding. A ghost couldn't do that. He cursed himself and gathered Yoh into his arms.
"Take good care of my brother, Amidamaru." Hao laughed before disappearing. Amidamaru ran with Yoh in his arms, seething with anger but weeping in despair. He could feel Yoh's life slipping away, feel his body growing colder. His feverish mutterings were like daggers in his heart. He couldn't bare to look at the young, sweet face contorted in pain, flushing hot and cold. He couldn't make out anything he was saying in his fever, but one word was repeated loud and clear to him:
"Amidamaru."
Part Six
Amidamaru had brought Yoh to Anna in minutes and she took one look at him before her face paled and her pupils dilated. The next moments were a blur and rush of calling ambulances and Anna sobbing as she tried to dress Yoh's wound temporarily to stop the bleeding as much as she could. She was hunched over Yoh, cradling his body in her slender arms and pressing down on the wound, tears flowing freer than they ever had before. She said nothing, just waited on the porch until the whir of sirens approached them and she struggled to lift Yoh with her. In times of crisis, they say people can do anything. It seemed Anna was given strength enough to run with Yoh to the stretcher. Medics took him from her and laid him down carefully, rushing him into the ambulance and shouting orders. She followed with them, Amidamaru drifting into the memorial tablet Yoh held in his hand. She glanced at it, at the way Yoh's knuckles were white from holding onto it so tightly. But her thoughts were disrupted when questions were fired at her. His blood type? What happened? The wound looks like they were caused by a sharp implement, such as a knife or dagger, is that so? She just mumbled that she wasn't there when it happened, she didn't know. She just diligently told them his blood type and sat staring at him, too mortified to cry any more. She just watched how the tablet glowed with Amidamaru's energy, invisible to everyone else in the ambulance, but bright to her. She watched as they tried to pry it from his fingers but he refused to let go. She had to gently but firmly tell them not to try.
That thing was more important to him than anything else.
Anna didn't quite register what was happening around her. The normally collected and sure girl was thrown off by the suddenness of everything that had happened lately. Yoh's withdrawal into himself, his silences, hearing him cry in his bedroom at night, finding his bed empty at midnight, the hatred in his eyes when he looked at her lately, his outburst, and now, he was lying in a hospital bed, his face as white as the sheets surrounding him. He had been in surgery for over and hour and now he was so still, so frighteningly still. His chest was swathed in bandages, the skin beneath it stitched back together with that ugly black thread. His breathing was so quiet, so terrifyingly barely there. His heart monitor beeped beside him, so slow and unsteady but it was there. Occasionally it would bleep faster as his heart struggled, and she would call for nurses desperately every time, panicking so much her own heart would race as fast as his. But he was always ok. He was holding on, they said. He was a strong boy with a strong heart. She knew that. His heart was strong and beautiful, so pure and good. She also knew that heart did not belong to her now nor would it ever. She knew this.
"Amidamaru…" Yoh murmured in his sleep. "Amidamaru… Amidamaru…" Always his name, never hers. In his hand the memorial tablet pulsated with light. His fist closed around it tightly and the name etched on it glowed in response. She sighed to herself. Yoh obviously felt that Amidamaru cared more for him than she did. But he was wrong. She cared just as strongly but she just wasn't good at showing it. She wasn't the sensitive, heart-to-heart kind of person. But right now she'd give anything for Yoh to wake up so she could tell him just how much she cared about him.
The hours passed by, both fast and slow at the same time. They seemed to go by so quickly as she stared at Yoh, unmoving, just staring, willing him to wake up so she could know for sure he was ok. But no matter how much she willed him to wake up, he just stayed sleeping. And that was what made the time drag by. He was so still and looked so frail and sickly. But in his hand, clutched to his injured chest, was Amidamaru. Closer to his heart than she would ever be.
The doctors allowed Anna to stay overnight in a fold-out bed they called a 'cot' beside him. She intended not to sleep but found herself too tired to keep her eyes open. She let herself close them and found herself asleep moment later. She didn't know how long she slept for, but when she woke up, it was still dark. What woke her was Yoh, crying out Amidamaru's name again, but this time, he was almost screaming. She bolted upright to see he had done the same, his eyes open and tears streaming from them. They were so dark in contrast to his ghostly white skin. His eyes were open but he wasn't awake. He didn't respond when she called his name. He only breathed heavily and stared straight ahead before falling back against the pillows. At the sound of Yoh shouting for him, Amidamaru had appeared beside him and now knelt beside his bed, gazing down at him with tearful eyes full of worry and holding his hand. He didn't seem to notice or care that Anna was awake and watching them. He was oblivious to her. He only stroked Yoh's feverish face with his cool hands and stayed beside him, holding his hand and murmuring words into his ear that Anna couldn't hear, and wasn't sure she wanted to. There was something about the way Amidamaru was touching Yoh that made her uncomfortable. It was too intimate. Too…too much. She turned her face away and closed her eyes again, pretending to sleep while she heard those tender whispers. When she did fall asleep again, in her dream, she saw only the loving look in Amidamaru's eyes and the heartache written all over his handsome face as he looked down at her fiancé.
Morning came and still Yoh did not wake. His temperature had soared over night and nurses tended to him tirelessly, keeping him cool and checking his temperature and pulse constantly. They did not see Amidamaru but all of them remarked how it was particularly cold on the left side of Yoh. That was because though he would usual move to avoid people walking through him, something he despised as it reminded him he was dead, he just stayed there. He refused to let go of Yoh's hand and sometimes would cry quietly to himself, praying that Yoh would wake up soon, that he would be ok, and to forgive him for being so careless and letting Yoh be hurt. He would never forgive himself for it. How could he? It was his fault that Yoh was lying in this sterile hospital room, fighting for his life, a life that had barely begun. Being reminded of how short life could prove to be, and remembering how short his own had been, dying at only twenty-four, he decided there and then to do whatever he had to to make sure that Yoh was as happy as he could be, that every moment he lived would be the best experience possible. He would protect him and serve him well. Better than he ever had before. His level of devotion was comparable to no else. He would keep his promise. He never broke a promise.
"Then never let me go. Promise me you will never let me go." Yoh had said to him, his arms were wrapped around his waist, clutching onto his tattered robes. Amidamaru kissed the top of the head that was bowed into his chest.
"I promise, Yoh. I will never let you go, and I will stay by your side forever." He told him before holding his face in his hands and kissing those sweet, innocent lips, realising he couldn't go on without tasting those lips.
"I will never let you go. I love you." Amidamaru whispered to Yoh, hoping he could hear him, but needing to hear himself say them just as much. "I love you. I long for you. I need you."
Night fell yet again and Anna remained sitting watching Yoh like a hawk with her sharp black eyes for any sign that he would wake up. Doctors told her he was just exhausted, and had clearly been over-exerting himself lately for his body was physically exhausted and needed longer time to heal than normally expected as he wasn't as strong as he should be due to the strain on his body and heart. Oh, how her heart had felt like a fist was clenching around it when she heard those words. It was her fault. She shouldn't have pushed him like that. She shouldn't have been so cruel. She shouldn't have driven him over the edge so he walked out alone, too angry to remember his weapons. It was her fault that he had been ambushed in his weak and defenceless state. It was her fault he was too tired to fight. It was her fault he was fighting for his life. He could have healed so much quicker if he wasn't so tired.
The doctors said he would be fine; he just needed plenty of rest. He just needed not to exert himself to much. He just needed not to run with knives. The only excuse she could come up with. The doctors said he would take a few weeks to fully recover. The doctors said he would take up soon. The doctors said he would be fine. The doctors said…
Two more days and nights passed without Yoh so much as moving in his sleep. He occasionally mumbled incoherent words, the only obvious one being that name that Anna was growing to hate the sound of. During those days, Amidamaru didn't move either. He watched tirelessly over Yoh, not moving an inch, not talking, not looking away from his face. Mindful of every little twitch of his brow or quiver of his lip. Constantly he laid cool hands over his brow to prevent him over-heating. He would whisper words to him occasionally, words that Anna couldn't hear but seemed to subconsciously reach Yoh, for his heart would calm down when he heard them and his features would smooth out. Sometimes, his lips even twitched up in a slight smile. She watched enviously as Amidamaru diligently watched over him as though it was his duty. She reminded himself that in a way it was. He was his guardian ghost. Guardian. He didn't have the cold pride she did that prevented her from doing more than sit and watch over them.
On the forth day at eight thirty six in the morning, Yoh's eyes finally fluttered open like shy butterflies. Amidamaru gasped and had to prevent himself seizing him in a fierce embrace. He didn't, however, prevent the tears of relief that flooded through him as Yoh's eyes searched for him, and finding him, a little smile found its way onto his lips and lit up his eyes. Their eyes locked together and Yoh weakly lifted one of his arms to wipe away those phantom tear drops the way Amidamaru always wiped his away. And every time he did, he stopped crying, finding strength in his friend, his love. He hopes Amidamaru would stop crying too, and he did. But those black eyes still glistened with tears of overwhelming relief and shone with a love so strong, so pure, Yoh almost stopped breathing all over again. He let his hand drop to the bed, too weak to hold it up, and so Amidamaru mimicked him and touched his cheek lovingly.
"Ami…" Yoh smiled, turning his face to his hand and rubbing his cheek against it. "Kiss me." He said, shyly but surely. Amidamaru didn't hesitate, he only leaned down and pressed his lips carefully against Yoh's, the hand on his cheek sliding behind his head. Yoh sighed happily and smiled into the kiss. When Amidamaru pulled away he was still smiling.
"I love you, Yoh." Amidamaru whispered, emotion choking his voice as he moved hair out of Yoh's face.
"I love you too, Amidamaru." Yoh smiled back, a tear rolling down his cheek. "You kept your promise. You didn't leave my side, did you? I could tell. You were always there. I could feel your presence."
"Yes, I never left you for a moment. I could not bear to leave you." Amidamaru fought back more tears, and was about to kiss Yoh again when a sharp inhalation of breath made them look over to the door, where the chair Anna had occupied was now empty for she was standing in the doorway staring at them with disbelief and hatred in her eyes. She glared at them a long moment, her eyes like steel, cold, harsh and sharp, before she turned on her heel and left them. Yoh stared after her wide-eyed.
"Oh God, Anna. I forgot. I completely forgot. She saw, didn't she?" Yoh stuttered, trying to sit up but stopped by Amidamaru's hands pushing him gently back down. "I don't care though."
"You do not?" Amidamaru asked, as disbelieving as Anna's eyes.
"No. The only thing I could think about was you. The only thing I wanted was to see you, to kiss you. The first person I saw was you. The first thing I wanted to do was this." He pulled Amidamaru to him by grasping a handful of his robe, and kissed him with as much passion as his weak body could manage. "Ami, I love you." He breathed, tracing his lips with his thumb.
"And you know I love you, but Yoh, that would have been a shock to Anna. We really should talk to her. I worry about her reaction and how she is taking this." Amidamaru reasoned. Yoh nodded, rolling his eyes.
"Yeah, that's if she even returns. She looked mortified, Ami. She looked like she hated me."
"Yoh, she does not hate you. I am sure she was only in shock. I would have preferred to reveal our relationship another way – "
"Relationship? We're in a relationship?" Yoh interrupted, wide-eyed.
"I mean, I am sorry, I got ahead of myself – "
"No you didn't." He interrupted again, his face cracking into a broad grin. "I like it. We're in a relationship. We're…we're 'together'. We are, aren't we?"
"Yes, we are together. We are together because we are joined together by our mutual love for each other." Yoh couldn't restrain himself for reaching for Amidamaru again and drawing him down into another kiss, this time though, they were both less gentle.
Part Seven
There was nothing much Yoh could do in his current state of health but wait for Anna to return, and that all relied on Amidamaru's reassurance that she would not have left town to rage at his parents who would surely disown him if they knew he was gay. Not only gay, but gay with his guardian ghost. At least one good thing had come from his quest for a guardian ghost to satisfy his parents and to prepare him for the tournament; he had met Amidamaru, who he was pretty sure was what people in romance films would call 'the one'. If the one was the person you couldn't bear to be separated from for even a minute, the one you wanted to kiss and to touch and to be touched by, the one you wanted to remain with forever, the one you would gladly die for, then Yoh Asakura had found The One. It was hardly the stuff of great romance novels. There was no mention of Catherine falling in love with a ghostly warrior in Wuthering Heights, but it was his romance. It was his unconventional love. The love he had longed for. Yoh finally realised he had it. That all-consuming raging inferno that threatened to engulf you but you didn't care. He wondered if he should call Faust and tell him. Surely he'd be able to empathise. His wife Eliza had long since been reduced to bones, but they maintained a healthy relationship. Ok, maybe not healthy per say, but they managed.
Nurses came and asked him who he was talking to. He just smiled and said his friend. They smiled warily at him. They told he was making an impeccable recovery and he would be discharged in a matter of days, as soon as Thursday, and it was now Tuesday. He had his bandaged changed, daring for the first time to look at his wound. A nasty but short gash was stitched together but was very raw and tender to the touch. It ran deep; the sword had pierced him by almost three inches, and would have gone straight through his heart had his twin not interrupted Mana. Though he still despised Hao, he now had to admit he owed him his life. It was something he felt bitter about but blocked it from his head as he obediently took the nasty tasting antibiotics and scowled at Amidamaru when he laughed at the grimaces he made at the taste. He clutched Amidamaru's hand when they took blood samples, ignoring the funny looks he got from the nurses who couldn't see the samurai. He remarked that Amidamaru had no idea how bad modern medicine tasted. He retorted that Yoh had no idea how bad it felt to have your best friend (Mosuke) stitch up wounds like that with cotton thread and expect you back in training days later. Yoh told him to shut up. Amidamaru told him to shut up (in a rather more formal way)
Yoh shut him up by kissing him.
Amidamaru shut him up by stealing his breath.
Anna made no appearance that day and Yoh fell asleep with Amidamaru faithfully by his side, stroking his fevered forehead. Blessedly, his temperature was approaching that of a normal, healthy one, but he was still suffering from hot and cold spells, and Amidamaru knew he was in a great deal of pain with his wound despite the amount of morphine they injected into him. But Yoh didn't complain once. He just smiled and took his medication, drank plenty of fluids, allowed himself to be wheeled to the lavatory and slept long, long hours. The sleeping part was heaven to the shaman, if only every breath he took wasn't so damn painful, what with his injury being on his chest. But he just stayed quiet and hid his pain as best he could. He didn't want to worry his…friend? Boyfriend? No, boyfriend didn't sound right, and friend wasn't intimate enough. His partner? No. His lover. That was it. Lover. It contained that important little word, therefore, it was appropriate.
But his…lover…was greatly amused by the effects morphine had on the teenager. For twenty minutes or so after each dosage, he would act very peculiar and nonsensical, but worryingly, talked to Amidamaru in front of nurses. Thankfully though, they seemed to be used to strange behaviour from those drugged up on morphine and didn't bat an eyelash as Yoh talked to a 'massive samurai warrior' that he 'loved so freaking much' and 'was right next to the one with the wrinkles'. Modern medicine is miraculous, no?
When Yoh woke up on Wednesday morning, Anna was standing in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest and legs planted firmly a shoulders width apart.
"So you're ok, then." She said shortly. She and Amidamaru had been locked in a staring contest for a few minutes before sleeping beauty decided to wake.
"Alive and kicking." Yoh laughed with forced cheerfulness, imitating his usual easy, careless smile.
"Good. Keep it that way." She turned to leave but Yoh called her name to stop her.
"Anna. Please don't go." He begged. "We should…we should talk."
"What is there to talk about?" Anna said bitterly, her back still to them. Her defences were up, and stronger than usual. She refused to let them know she had ran away to cry. She refused to let them know she had cried solidly until about an hour ago. She refused to admit to herself that she was selfish.
"Anna…" Yoh pleaded. She caved in, her shoulders sagging slightly, and turned around, taking a few steps into the room and closing the door behind her. "I'm sorry." Yoh said after a long silence in which they just stared at each other, so much to say, but both unsure as to how to say it.
"I bet you are." Anna said a little too sourly. She couldn't help it. It was in her nature to be a little short with people, but when she was as hurt as she was, she was like barb wire.
"I am." Yoh said sadly. "I am honestly really, really sorry, and I know it probably doesn't mean much to you right now but well, I am. And that's all I can say, except for this; Anna, I'm in love with Amidamaru, and I have been for a long time now, it just took me a while to realise it." Amidamaru looked up in surprise, pale hair shifting from in front of his darkly beautiful eyes.
"And I love Yoh."
Amidamaru said, reinforcing what Yoh had just told a shell-shocked Anna. "I apologise profusely. You cannot know how terrible I feel for allowing myself to be so careless with your feelings, but as Yoh said, we are in love."
"I didn't want you to find out like that. I was planning on telling you – "
"Telling me what, exactly?" Anna injected.
"That we are in love." Yoh shrugged. "If you want be to be honest, I wanted to tell you that. We love each other and we want to be together, and if I'm going to use your trademark sharp bluntness, I can't marry you." Anna's intake of breath was audible to all. "Anna, I'm sorry. I really am. I know I promised you that, but come on, we were kids. I could barely say the word marriage let alone know what it meant. And you can't blame this all on me." He said bravely, gripping Amidamaru's hand for courage.
"I what now?"
"Well, you have to admit, you only want to marry me because you want to be Shaman Queen."
"Yoh, I, well, that is true but I…" She trailed off.
"Anna, all those years ago you told me you were going to be Shaman Queen, it was your fate. You were determined that as an Asakura, I would be Shaman King. So you put two and two together and got one: you. You thought only of yourself, and you still do. You don't love me, Anna." Yoh said quietly, his voice growing softer as he fought to stay strong.
"Yoh…"
"Anna, I care about you a lot. I really do. Really, I don't know what I would do without you, because you've stood by me all this time and helped me become the shaman I am. You're a dear friend to me." He said so earnestly that the ice queen had to prevent herself crying all over again. "But you're not the one I want to marry. I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't. Because marriage is about love, and we don't love each other. I want a chance to be in love, and I want you to have that chance too." She jolted her head up and looked at him in shock. For some reason, those words shook her to the very core. "And ya know why? Cause you're my friend and I care about you, and I want to see you happy, and I think that the most happiness can be found with the one you love."
"Yoh…I'm sorry." Anna mumbled, the words biting her tongue. "You should not be the one apologising. I'm sorry that I forced you into something that made you so unhappy. I'm sorry that I was so selfish and thought only of myself and my desire to be Shaman Queen. I'm just sorry, ok?" She rushed, finding it hard to be so humble. Yoh laughed light-heartedly.
"I think you just said 'sorry' more times in that sentence than you have in your whole life!" He chuckled and she sat next to him on the parallel side to Amidamaru. She squeezed his hand.
"That's because I am. And…and I'm glad that you found somebody who makes you happy." She looked at Amidamaru as she said this. "I should apologise to you too. I'm sorry, Amidamaru. I hope you and Yoh are very happy together."
"And I owe you an apology. I accept your and hope you accept mine."
"I do. Now, there's just one thing I need to know." She regained her air of authority and suddenly, she was Anna yet again. Yoh grinned at her, a huge weight lifted from his shoulders. "How do you two intend to be together if one of you is dead?" She asked bluntly. Yoh and Amidamaru just shared a look and both of them shrugged.
"Dunno." Yoh said simply. "But we'll manage."
Anna left them both with her blessing, a sad but happy smile on her face as she walked out into the daylight, tilting her face to the sun that warmed the tears on her face. She smiled.
Yoh was delighted to have Anna's blessing and to know there were no bitter feelings between the two childhood friends. He regretted thinking so badly of her, but allowed himself to feel no guilt. People did that. They targeted their foul moods at others and blamed one person for the world. It wasn't fair, but it was human nature. It was also human nature to want to be with the one you love, and Yoh was ecstatic to know he was being discharged from the hospital that evening. As a nurse wheeled him out in a wheelchair, he looked back fondly at the room that now held so many memories for him. Beside him Amidamaru floated with a knowing smile on his face. Yoh scrutinised him, ignoring the enquiring looks from his nurse, but the samurai's serene face revealed nothing when he didn't want it to.
Amidamaru didn't have to reveal anything, though. His friends cheering when he was wheeled through the hospital entrance and outside was a dead giveaway.
"The warrior lives to fight another day!" Horo Horo wooped with Corey.
"Master Yoh, I'm so glad that you're ok! We were all so worried!" Ryu sobbed and Tokogero just sweat-dropped at his master, but gave Yoh a friendly smile.
"Yes, we were all quite concerned." Ren confirmed in his thick British accent. Bason nodded along with him and Jun and Bailong waved at him.
"Don't mind him; he just has a steel rod up his arse at all times." She said, elbowing her brother in the ribs.
"Oh Yoh, why didn't you come to me? I could have been your doctor." Faust whined in his hypnotic voice. Eliza was hanging onto him and just smiled at Yoh. She looked at Amidamaru, then Yoh, then back again, and smiled once again, her pretty blue eyes twinkling. Manta had stayed quiet but now he walked up to Yoh and carefully hugged him, tears welling in his large eyes.
"Hey Manta." Yoh smiled, ruffling his hair affectionately.
"Don't scare me like that, again, ok Yoh? I cam to see you but you were asleep."
"You did? Aw, thanks."
"Hey guys, come on! Let's get Yoh home, he's a cripple now, remember?" Horo Horo laughed teasingly.
"You can say that now but I'm gonna kick your ass when I can walk again!" Yoh laughed, happy to be outside, in the sunshine, with his friends and with the one he loved. Ryu pushed Yoh's wheelchair to avoid suspicion but Amidamaru was close to his side, watching as Yoh analysed all the medication he had to take and smiling at the adorable faces Yoh made at most of it. He couldn't wait to be alone with him again.
Part Eight
Anna was waiting for them at home with Tamara, who had been busy decorating the house, waiting eagerly for Yoh's arrival. There was a banquet prepared, a long table piled with Yoh's favourite foods, including a bulk order from his favourite burger place of cheeseburgers, fries and milkshakes. Horo Horo sped with him into the front room where a playlist of Yoh's favourite music was playing softly in the background.
"Welcome home, Yoh." Tamara blushed, clasping her hands to her chest.
"Yeah, welcome home." Anna greeted, her voice harsh but eyes softer. She held in her hands Yoh's orange headphones, and she walked towards him and placed them on his head just the way he liked them. That one gesture alone reassured Yoh that there were no hard feelings between them and they shared a look and a smile before she snapped back into her usual self. Yoh sat in his chair with his phantom lover stood behind him, a hand laid possessively on his shoulder as everyone set about grabbing some food. Tamara brought a plate over to Yoh and her cheeks flushed as pink as her hair when he smiled at her and thanked her. Yoh just chewed his food, which was the best he'd tasted in days after the horrendous hospital grub, and watched his friends. His trademark smile was back as he lounged happily in his familiar surroundings with his familiar friends, joining in various conversations and laughing at the jokes made, wincing occasionally at the pain in his chest. He knew that Anna and Manta were watching he and Amidamaru, and he knew that neither knew that the other knew about he and Amidamaru…and he knew that he was confusing himself a little and was beginning to wonder who knew what about who knowing that they knew about knowing what.
"Hey guys? I'm kinda tired, so I'm gonna call it a day. Have fun, though." Yoh grinned. They moaned a little but all bid him goodnight and offered assistance, but in the end, Amidamaru got his way and was the one to take Yoh to his bedroom. Anna watched them with rare affection in her eyes, and by watching them, she didn't notice a certain emerald haired girl watching her with a similar expression.
"Do you need anything?" Amidamaru asked Yoh attentively as he helped him out of his chair. Yoh stood on wobbling legs but gripped his ghosts arm for support.
"Nah I'm good. But…I can't really, um, move that much, so, I can't un…undress." He stuttered, blushing furiously and not meeting Amidamaru's eyes. The samurai looked at his, bemused.
"And I believe you need to bathe." He added casually. Yoh's eyes widened and he looked at the samurai, alarmed. "So you shall need assistance with that too, I assume?"
"Uh, yeah, you're right." Yoh could feel himself blushing right up to the tips of his ears.
"Unless you would rather I call for Anna to assist you?" Amidamaru teased. Yoh shook his head furiously.
"No, no way. Just…help me, ok? And no peeking!" Yoh warned, eliciting a laugh from Amidamaru as he guided him to the bathroom. Both of them grew serious and silent as Amidamaru worked on removing Yoh's garments. He started with his shirt, unbuttoning it slowly, having to tell his fingers to stop shaking as he worked his way down to the final button and pushed it down Yoh's arms. It fell soundlessly to the floor. He touched Yoh's bandages sorrowfully, tracing his fingers over where his skin disappeared into the bandages, making the teen shiver slightly. He trailed those fingers upwards until they came to a stop under Yoh's chin, and he tilted his head upwards so that their eyes met before both pairs closed as their lips came together, softly, and then they grew more urgent. Amidamaru flicked his tongue over the seal where Yoh's lips joined and they parted for him, allowing his tongue to find its playmate once more. He trailed his fingers over Yoh's arms, along his back, across his sides and up his abdomen, his chest and finally they rested either side of his head, discarding the headphones. He slid one hand to his chest and used it to guide him gently to the nearest wall, mindful not to touch his wound, and then he pinned him against the wall.
"Hmm…" Yoh sighed happily, his sigh turning into a choked gasp when he felt Amidamaru nip his lower lip lightly. "A-Amidamaru." He gasped as those teeth nibbled at his ear lobe and a cool tongue slid along the shell of his ear and slipped behind, licking and kissing skin Yoh found to be torturously sensitive. His breathing was heavy, and it hurt, but he didn't care. He just wanted Amidamaru to continue the path of kisses he was trailing down his neck to his throat, his collarbone before he stopped and pulled away.
"I almost forgot, you need to bathe. Shall I continue to assist you to undress?" He asked.
"Yeah, but let's forget the bath tonight." Yoh breathed, grasping hold of his hand and pulling him towards his bedroom. Amidamaru followed him eagerly as they carefully avoided people and darted into his room, closing the door after them. Before the latch clicked together, Amidamaru had locked Yoh in another kiss and was sliding his hands down his body to his jeans, resting them on his hip bones. He pushed him down on his futon roughly, and Yoh grimaced in pain. It was enough to knock Amidamaru out of his stupor.
"I am sorry. I got carried away." He apologised, but Yoh just shook his head and reached for him.
"It's ok. I want you to get carried away." He smiled nervously as Amidamaru knelt over him. He dipped his head down for another kiss but drew the line there.
"I cannot allow myself to. I think we should stop now." He said, stroking Yoh's hair.
"I don't want to." Yoh whined.
"I know, nor do I, but you are hurt. Let us wait."
"Oh alright then…wait, you mean – "
"That it is time for you to rest, Yoh. I shall get Manta to help you." And with that, Amidamaru disappeared into thin air and the self discipline that came from being a six hundred and twenty four year old samurai. Yoh stared after him, disappointed, but also touched by the way he always had his best interests at heart. That night it was Manta who helped him into his night robe and into bed. Faust administered his medication and checked his temperature after dressing his now rapidly healing wound in fresh bandages. In his expert opinion, he was healing swiftly and he expected him to heal completely within the next few days. That was a relief to Yoh, who fell asleep alone, but knew that Amidamaru was watching over him silently in the shadows. He let him know that he knew he was there by saying goodnight. He was met with no answer but sensed him smiling.
Over the next few days, Yoh did heal quickly and after two days, he didn't need to use his wheelchair. A week later, and he felt almost no pain and had the stitches removed and no longer needed to be bandaged so dramatically. He stopped taking the antibiotics and only took painkillers once a day. Things carried on as normal as they could. Anna and he gradually began talking easily and without tension again, and in fact, they seemed to get along better too. There was an ease between them now, and she didn't mind when he and Amidamaru would hold hands or kiss in front of her. It surprised them both but they didn't question it. She looked after him along with his guardian ghost to ensure he made a swift recovery. Faust came over every other day to check up on Yoh, impressing him with his knowledge of medicine. He impressed Manta too, who was with Yoh most days and who just accepted that Anna knew about his relationship with Amidamaru, and Anna did the same thing. Manta became Faust's medical student and listened to him as he went through what he was doing for Yoh, about the treatment needed for such an injury, what each drug did, why it was necessary, how much to administer to who and so on and so forth. Manta moved on from his fear of the slightly insane doctor and three times a week they had an arrangement to spend two hours together, Faust tutoring the eager Manta in modern and historical medicine. Indeed, everything was flowing smoothly in life, except for one thing. As Yoh approached his sixteenth birthday, he fully realised that he was in a relationship with a dead man. He realised that he would continue to age into an old man while Amidamaru would stay forever young and forever invisible to all but shamans. And he didn't know if he was ok with that any more. At night, he was tormented with dreams of he and Amidamaru walking hand in hand outside and everybody being able to see them together, see that they loved each other. He wanted desperately for the whole world to know that he loved him…
Two weeks later, and Yoh had made almost a full recovery. He was off all medication but Faust monitored his health closely like any good doctor would, much to the admiration of Manta who now hung onto his every word in much the same way Ryu did with Yoh. Anna acted like nothing had changed and Manta was too afraid to question her and too worried about upsetting Yoh's happy mood by asking him, so he just accepted that somehow Anna accepted that Yoh was gay and in love with a ghost. Then he slapped himself for thinking things like that were normal. Boy, hanging around with crazies and ghosts really did take its toll on you!
Yoh and Amidamaru acted as much like a normal couple as they could, but decided not to tell their friends just yet. They held hands, but not in public. They kissed, but nothing more. They slept together, but both were fully clothed. They respected each others boundaries as any other healthy couple would. They tried to pretend they were a normal couple, but didn't succeed. Both seemed to be all too aware that Yoh was aging whereas Amidamaru wasn't. Both were reminded every time they touched that they were going against physics by being together. Every time Amidamaru's cool hands caressed Yoh's warm skin, they were reminded.
The night before Yoh's birthday Anna came to his bedroom and knocked on the door softly. He called for her to come in and she entered the room where Yoh and his samurai sat facing each other, talking to each other. She sat down near them so that they made a triangular formation and rubbed at her eyes, eyes Yoh noticed were shadowed beneath, and wondered why she hadn't been sleeping well.
"Yoh, it's your birthday tomorrow and I've been thinking of what to get you." She announced. "So I'm not going to be vague cause it just isn't in my style. I've decided to give Amidamaru something for you."
"You what?" Yoh asked in confusion.
"I've decided to give Amidamaru a new life." Both males stared at her in disbelief.
"You what?" Yoh repeated, blinking rapidly.
"I'm going to bring Amidamaru back to life." She stated as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. Well, duh, people who were six hundred years gone were brought back to life every day by fifteen year old girls.
"H-how? Can you do that? Seriously? Oh my god, really? You can do that?" Yoh babbled. Amidamaru was too shocked to react.
"Yes, I can. I am a powerful Itako, after all. I've spent the past few weeks trying to figure out how to do it without turning Amidamaru into a walking skeleton or into another Bailong, and I'm one hundred percent positive I know how to give him a new life."
"How?!" Yoh exclaimed, squeezing Amidamaru's hand.
"It's all too complex for you, Yoh. But I do need your help." She said quietly.
"Of course! Anything!" Yoh's heart was skipping beats.
"I need you to help me unearth Amidamaru's remains."
Part Nine (my shittiest chapter ever)
According to Anna, she could perform a modified resurrection spell on Amidamaru's remains that would restore him to his former living, breathing, twenty-four year old self with a little luck. She explained that she had been reading up on necromancy after being inspired by Faust and Eliza. She figured that if she altered the spells and incantations used, threw in a ritual of her own, used the power of her teneighty beads and prayed to God it worked, she could probably pull it off, she finalised. Just like that. She could probably pull it off.
"I am concerned, what if it does not work?" Amidamaru said finally. "Is it safe?"
"Of course it is. Maybe not one hundred percent but if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. I won't place you in harms way, so don't worry. But I have to do it tonight, and now. It's an just over and hour to midnight so we have to be at Monument Hill at least a half hour before then so I can prepare. So get dressed, we're leaving in ten minutes." She left them with that. They stared at each other a long moment before both broke out with those smiles people displayed when they weren't sure what to think or do or say.
"Do you think it will work?" Amidamaru asked.
"I don't know, but if anyone can do it, it's Anna. And I'm willing to try anything if it means I can be with you." Yoh replied, placing his hand over Amidamaru's heart. There was no heartbeat and he was so cold. It settled his mind. He smiled reassuringly at him. "Let's try it."
On the way to the cemetery, Anna explained that the spell must be performed at midnight in the place where Amidamaru died, and it must be performed with his remains. The idea of digging up Amidamaru's skeleton horrified Yoh but he kept his mouth shut. If it meant he could have Amidamaru alive and breathing, he would sell his soul to the devil. And the devil just so happened to be his twin. On the way there, Yoh held onto Amidamaru's hand to remind himself he wasn't dreaming. Anna had really said she could bring him back to life. He could be alive again. With Yoh. Really truly alive. Solid and opaque. Real.
At Monument Hill, Yoh set to work shovelling up the earth that covered Amidamaru's grave. The samurai himself couldn't watch: he was deeply disturbed at the concept of seeing his own long dead body. Or rather, skeletal remains. So he sat and stared up at the moon wistfully, praying to the Gods that this would work. He would give anything to live again, just to be with Yoh. Even for a day. No, no, that wasn't fair on Yoh. He bargained that he would be a good person and pray every day. That he would do anything. Anything. A familiar longing was in his heart as he gazed up at the night sky, the sound of Anna chanting and Yoh shovelling drowned out by his own thoughts, his own worries. What if it didn't work? What if something went horribly wrong and he just, disappeared, or something? He had sworn to stay by Yoh's side forever, and if he broke that promise…
Amidamaru never broke his promises. If he could wait six hundred years for Mosuke to deliver the Sword of Light to him, he would wait an eternity to be with Yoh.
"I found him." He heard Yoh whisper and couldn't prevent himself from turning around. He came face to face with himself and recoiled in horror. He had thought he was prepared to deal with it but he was wrong. Seeing his own remained in a heap on the ground deeply disturbed him. Yoh felt very much the same as he picked up the skull in morbid fascination. Anna kept repeating 'Aum mani padme hum' over and over again until she saw Yoh holding the skull in his hands.
"Amidamaru…" He whispered tearfully, brushing dirt off it. "Anna, let's do this." He said with new determination.
"Yoh, first we need to talk about this. I need to know you're sure you want to do this." She said in an uncharacteristically soft voice.
"Of course I am. I want this more than anything." He had tears glistening in his eyes and his voice shook.
"Well, you do realise that once Amidamaru is alive again, he can no longer be your guardian ghost. Yoh, you're going to have to drop out of the Shaman Tournament. You can't replace him when you have entered with him. You have to choose which is more important to you: winning the tournament or giving Amidamaru a second chance at life." She explained.
"Do you really have to ask? I chose love over fighting any day." He reached for Amidamaru's hand and it clasped around his. It was comforting. They shared a look and with his eyes, Yoh silently asked are you sure? And Amidamaru responded by kissing him.
"Ok. Well, I guess it's time. It's almost midnight."
The skeleton of Amidamaru was laid out by Yoh as Anna stood ready, holding a book in her hands. A pentagram had been formed on the ground with quartz stones and in the centre was the skeleton. At each point was a different object. A feather, a shell, a lit candle, a flower and finally a statue of some sort. Each one represented an element and the statue represented spirit. Anna stood at the point of spirit and flicked some kind of liquid onto the remains with a hawk feather. Her beads were strung around her neck.
"Oh almighty spirits, heed my call." She began. "I call for you to hear my plea, to grant my wish. I who posses the teneighty beads call for you to do as I desire. I call for you to grant the spirit of Amidamaru life again in the world of the living. I command you to resurrect this being!" She unwound the beads from her neck and held them out before her. "By the power of the teneighty beads I command you!" She let go of the beads and they hovered in a circle above Amidamaru's remains. She pulled an athame out of the satchel around her waist and closed her hand around the blade and dragged the dagger out of its enclosure. She didn't even blink as it cut through her skin. She allowed blood to drip onto the bones and reached into a pocket of the satchel, pulling out a handful of herbs and scattering them over the bones. They hissed when they contacted them and the blood began to glow. Yoh and Amidamaru watched in horrified awe as her voice took on a peculiar echo.
"He who is gone, let him return. A life lost unjustly, here where I stand, must be reborn." She chanted. "Oh Gods above me, oh almighty spirits, I call to you to do my bidding. I call upon the God of Death, Akensa, to hear my call. I call upon his power to become mine." She raised her arms to the sky, one hand holding the athame, and the dropped to her knees and plunged it into the ground. "As above, and so below! Heed my call! Akensa, I command you to join with me!" She cried before falling back unconscious.
"Anna!" Yoh cried, stopped from rushing forward by Amidamaru, who watched as Anna's body was enveloped in a black fog that seemed to be inhaled through her mouth. It disappeared completely and she rose from the ground like a puppet. She opened her eyes, and they were completely black, like orbs.
"Amidamaru, I command your spirit to be reborn." She spoke with a voice that was not her own, and it terrified Yoh. She – or Akensa, as she seemed to be – chanted in an ancient language and the skeleton of Amidamaru rose up from the ground into a standing position, threading through the ring of the teneighty beads that glowed around it. The skeleton seemed to glow. "Amidamaru, I, the God of Death Akensa, command you to be reborn. Amidamaru, rebirth!" She cried and Amidamaru felt himself being pulled into the centre of the pentagram and towards his skeleton. A blinding light flashed once he reached his skeleton, blinding both Yoh and Anna.
"Amidamaru, rebirth!" Anna screamed and that light grew brighter. She collapsed to the floor and Yoh rushed to her side, holding his in his arms and keeping his face turned away from the blinding light.
And then, the light was gone and Yoh could open his eyes. He fearfully turned them to the pentagram and he couldn't believe what he was seeing.
There stood Amidamaru in the bare, naked flesh.
Yoh freely gawped. He stared. Just stared.
Amidamaru stared too. He stared at his hands, down at his body. He touched his hair, his face. He inhaled through his nose. He could smell. He could feel the warmth of the summer night. He could feel grass beneath his bare feet. He could feel the soft breeze on his bare skin. He looked over at Yoh who was looking at him, and Anna, who had awoken and was staring too. She shuffled out of Yoh's grasp and the boy stood up, his eyes meeting with Amidamaru's. And then he rushed towards him, leaping at him and pushing him to the ground, landing on top of him and repeatedly kissing him passionately. His hands travelled all over his body, grasping at the warm flesh. His lips were warm and soft. His tongue was hot and wet. He could feel his breath on his cheek and his body crushed against his. They were both crying, sobbing as they held each other, body heat mingling together. Yoh slid his hand over Amidamaru's broad and sturdy shoulders and along his muscular arms as they kissed through tears of overwhelming happiness and love.
Amidamaru was overwhelmed. He could feel again. He had all of his senses. He could feel Yoh and touch him and kiss him normally. All of those long lost feelings were regained and it overwhelmed him. But nothing else mattered to him other than that he could touch Yoh properly. It seemed the teen felt the same way.
"I can't believe you're real… I can touch you…and feel you…you're real…you're alive!" Yoh cried, his tears sliding down his cheeks and trickling onto Amidamaru's chest and he ran his hands up his abdomen where his muscles seemed to be carved out of marble. He stopped at his heart and began to weep. "You have a heartbeat."
"It beats only for you." Amidamaru murmured, holding Yoh closely and crying. He inhaled Yoh's scent and kissed his neck before gently pushing him up. The stood together and Amidamaru looked down at his naked body in embarrassment. "Ah, Anna?" He asked desperately.
"I thought you might need these." She threw a pile of clothes at him, keeping her eyes over his shoulder. He held up a pair of jeans and Yoh grinned.
"No way. This is gonna be so awesome."
"I have never worn such garments before." Amidamaru commented.
"Do you need me to dress you?" Yoh smirked.
"I think I can manage." The living, breathing Amidamaru retorted, pulling on the underwear Anna had provided and then the jeans. Next came the plain black t-shirt and he slipped his feet into sandals. Yoh gazed at him in amusement and admired him out loud.
"Wow…" He breathed. Amidamaru turned to face him and smiled shyly. The clothes fit perfectly. The loose fitting jeans hung from his hips and the t-shirt fitted like a second skin, hugging every grove of muscle deliciously. His hair hung to his waist like gossamer silk, falling over his face and shrouding his eyes seductively. He threw his arms open and looked down at himself.
"How do I look? Do I wear your modern garments correctly?" He asked. Yoh lunged at him again and Amidamaru steadied himself as the boy kissed him lustfully.
"Let's go home, Ami."
They walked hand in hand back home and the simple feeling of warm skin against his made Yoh happier than he ever could have asked. He kept glancing up at Amidamaru, seeing the way his hair floated behind him slightly with the rapidness of his pace as they hurried to get home together. They were alone. Anna had decided to stay at Monument Hill to tidy up and thank the Gods for their help, and to give the two lovers their space. Before leaving, Yoh had thanked her profusely, sobbing against her as he hugged her fiercely. He had so many questions, but she assured him they would be answered eventually, but reminded him that right now, his lover had a body. And with that body Amidamaru experienced life again. His senses were aflame, so sharp and so keen, not muted like they had been as a spirit. He could feel everything. He could feel his own heart beating. The warm summer air and Yoh's hand in his. He could smell everything. Yoh's soft, dark hair. He could taste everything. Yoh's sweet lips. He looked down and saw Yoh looking at him in amazement and smiled.
"Ami, how tall are you?" He asked. "You were bigger as spirit."
"I know, it is peculiar. I am, as I recall, six foot three."
"Woah. No wonder I feel so tiny, I'm only five foot four. And I weigh like, nine stone."
"I weigh fourteen and eight." Amidamaru stated. Yoh looked over his body again.
"Yeah, but it's all pure muscle." Amidamaru smirked at him.
"Which means I can do this!" He announced before scooping Yoh into his arms and running with him. Yoh's slender arms wound around his neck to hold on and they laughed as Amidamaru soared over the pavement with him, as agile as he had been as a spirit. They reached the house minutes later and Amidamaru kicked the door open impatiently. "I had to prevent myself attempting to just pass through it." He chuckled. "This is going to take some getting used to." He carried Yoh into his bedroom and set him on his feet. Then, the humour was gone, and his eyes took on a more serious look. Yoh reached up to touch his handsome face and was still awed that it was warm. He traced his hand all over his face like a person feeling blindness descending upon them would desperately memorize the face of a loved one. When his fingers met his lips, he trailed them over them with a touch delicate and feathery. Amidamaru bowed his head and kissed Yoh softly, savouring his touch, his taste.
"Amidamaru…" Yoh whispered into his ear. "Make love to me."
Part Ten
The flesh-and-blood samurai seized Yoh's lips in another kiss, wrapping his arms around his slender frame and crushing his body against his. Yoh let out a little moan as his body fitted perfectly against his lovers and his painfully skilled tongue snaked its way back into his mouth again. Amidamaru could feel his heartbeat quicken, his pulse rising, his temperature soaring higher. He felt his new but so familiar body awakened, those strong and primal desires calling to him. He pushed Yoh down onto his bed and fell above him, kissing him over and over with fevered ardour. The boy barely had a moment to breathe before his mouth was invaded again, but he didn't care. He could feel Amidamaru's body heat through the thin layers of his clothes and wanted so, so badly to feel his new skin again his. As though reading his mind, Amidamaru swiftly unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it apart, dipping his head lower and kissing a path down his neck and to his chest, lingering at every sensitive spot to deepen each butterfly kiss and make Yoh writhe underneath him. His lips brushed like a feather down to his small, rosy nipples and he captured one between them, using his tongue to flutter like the butterflies Yoh felt in his stomach against it. Yoh gasped sharply at the peculiar sensation and that gasp swiftly turned into a moan as his nerves tingled. He didn't even know that he could feel pleasure there, but oh, he could, and oh my god, it felt so, so good. Amidamaru persistently fondled with his nipples, his tongue and teeth and fingers driving him wild with want from that alone. But what drove him over the edge was that his tongue and breath was hot against his skin, that he was solid and real and just so…beautiful.
All coherent thoughts vanished when he felt skilled hands slide down to his waist band and begin undoing the fastenings of his jeans. Amidamaru felt a sense of urgency, an overwhelming desire, and wasted no time in undressing his young lover. He wanted to relive those pleasures of the body after six hundred years of feeling nothing. He wanted to surrender to temptation all night with Yoh.
Lucky for him, Yoh felt very much the same. There were no 'are you sure?' and 'do you want to…' questions. They were both desperate to be together after being through so much since they met, and everything they had just gone through to have this moment. Neither wanted to wait any more, and even though Amidamaru was no longer his guardian ghost, he still felt that same connection with him, still knew exactly what he was feeling and thinking and just what he needed. He needed Yoh and Yoh need him. Their bond was unbreakable.
His eyes drank in Yoh hungrily as he exposed even more of his skin. Yoh just aided him in removing his clothes, as impatient as Amidamaru was to discover his new lover. Now, all that was left was his underwear. Yoh glanced shyly at Amidamaru, a faint blush colouring his cheeks as he reached for him and lifted his own shirt over his head, exposing that gloriously masculine chest to his hungry eyes. His hands once again traced every groove of hardened muscle, relishing in the warmth of his skin. His hands stopped once more over his heart and Amidamaru covered those small hands with his own.
"I love you." He said simply. Yoh smiled at him through tears and replied the same, but his voice cracked at the end as tears trickled down his cheeks. Amidamaru smiled lovingly at him before kissing his eye lids and kissing the tears away. They tasted salty and were warm on his lips, and still, he couldn't quite believe this was all real, this was all happening right now. He had a body and he had Yoh…
Amidamaru knelt to full sitting height and undid his own jeans, sliding them off before joining Yoh once more on his bed. Moonlight streaked through the windows, bringing out the luminous silver of his hair. Yoh ran his hands through that long hair before tugging him down to kiss him, unable to stop or cease adoring kissing him. Still kissing Yoh, Amidamaru's hand slid down his body and cupped where a bulge had formed in his underwear. Yoh gasped at the contact, a feeling so foreign but delicious. Amidamaru silently asked permission with his eyes and in receiving it, slowly pulled away the final article of clothing and discarded it. Now Yoh lay before him as no other had seen him before, his body exposed, his chest rising and falling with his heavy breathing and lips swelled and red from his passionate kisses. Amidamaru pushed Yoh's legs apart with one hand and knelt between them, meeting him in another kiss as his hand slid serpentine down his naked body to his erection, where he grasped his hand around it and Yoh cried out softly, that cry turning into sounds of pleasure as Amidamaru slid his hand up and down his length and his tongue licked at the lobe of his ear before his teeth nipped it sharply. Yoh's hips involuntarily bucked up to meet his hand and he moaned out Amidamaru's name lustily, making the samurai abandon using his hands and instead, surprising Yoh by gripping his hips and manoeuvring himself further down him and lifting his hips to his mouth, that before Yoh's surprised and wide eyes, opened and engulfed him entirely.
"Ah! Oh my go – uhnn – Amidamaru!" Yoh cried out as his warm, wet mouth began pumping itself around his erection. His tongue was doing things he didn't think possible and he couldn't even keep his eyes open, they closed instantly and his heart pounded against his chest. "Mmn, Ami…" He moaned, gripping the sheets beneath him so hard that his knuckles turned white. Amidamaru chuckled slightly, and Yoh felt the vibration coursing through him, and he moaned loudly. Amidamaru just continued what he was doing at his own leisurely pace, enjoying the taste of Yoh and the noises he made for him as he took him completely down his throat. He alternated his speeds judging on Yoh's noises, applying different amount of pressure, using his lips, tongue, hands and fingers, sending Yoh into a delirium of pleasure so immense it was nearly torturous. He carried on like this until he could tell the boy was close to climaxing and stopped, but kept Yoh just as he was and slid his tongue over his inner thigh, eliciting a shiver from him, and his tongue travelled farther still until it connected with his virgin entrance. Yoh eyes opened and he stared at Amidamaru and shock.
"Just relax, my love." Amidamaru told him before his tongue slid slowly against the tight muscles, circling it and licking against it. To Yoh's utter shock, it felt…incredible. He lay back down again and his breathing was uneven and fractured by moans that turned into cries as Amidamaru's tongue delved inside of him. Amidamaru let go of his hips and knelt over him again, slipping two of his fingers into his own mouth to lubricate them before he dropped them to Yoh's entrance, circling it, mimicking his tongue, before one pushed in.
"W-what are you doing?" Yoh asked in a shaky voice as his muscles clamped down on the intruding digit.
"Just relax…I am preparing you. It will hurt a lot less if you relax yourself." He instructed and Yoh nodded, closing his eyes and breathing out. He relaxed enough for Amidamaru to start moving his finger within him, stretching his entrance enough for a second finger to pass through. He watched Yoh's face closely, intending to stop the moment he looked to be in too much pain. Yoh's lips were pursed in a tight line and his eyes were squeezed shut; he was clearly in discomfort, so Amidamaru curled his fingers in search for that spot within him that would make him –
"Aah! Amidamaru!" Yoh exclaimed, his back arching upwards. "Do th-that again." He pleaded, and Amidamaru happily complied, stimulating that sensitive area while stretching his opening. Yoh cried out and moaned again and again as his fingers made contact with his prostate, soon he was begging for more. "Amidamaru…" He begged in a small voice, reaching for the samurai and pulling him down to kiss him. Amidamaru pulled his throbbing erection out of the constraints of his underwear and positioned himself at Yoh's entrance.
"I love you." He murmured into his ear, kissing the sensitive skin behind it as he pushed himself against Yoh's opening and pushed, inch by inch, through the muscle that fought to keep him out.
Yoh couldn't stop himself from crying out in pain. It was so tight and painful that his nails dug into Amidamaru's back as his erection pushed further and further into him. He felt like he was being torn apart by his large manhood but just held onto Amidamaru as more and more of him entered him, his legs raised around his waist and thighs gripping him.
"Does it hurt?" Amidamaru asked, knowing it did.
"Ahnn…y-yes. But don't…stop." Yoh gasped, and Amidamaru, his desire too strong to ignore, complied, driving himself further into Yoh's precious body. He groaned loudly as Yoh swallowed him to the hilt, his insides so hot and tight around him that it was almost unbearable. Carefully he pulled out almost all the way before thrusting back into him, met with a whimper from Yoh whose nails bit into his skin painfully and pierced through.
"Do you want to stop?" Amidamaru asked him, kissing his cheek tenderly. Yoh shook his head and he captured his lips in a loving kiss before repeating that action again, and again. Soon he was thrusting deep inside of Yoh, and the boy made small whimpers every time, the pain almost unbearable but because it was Amidamaru, he would gladly feel a thousand times worse. So it came as a surprise when that familiar white-hot pleasure exploded with him again as Amidamaru struck his prostate. His back arched and his chest collided with Amidamaru's, who carried on angling himself as he had and slammed into Yoh, brushing against his prostate each time until Yoh actually whined when he didn't angle himself just right. Yoh felt pleasure through the pain, but it still hurt him so much, almost too much, that he was sure he would have had to stop by now if it wasn't for the indescribable pleasure that racked his body every time that part within him was stimulated. But he had waited so long, too long, to be with Amidamaru, and he had been dead for so long, unable to feel anything like this. Yoh looked up at the samurai's face, at the way his eyes were half-lidded and his brow shone with sweat. Pleasure was written all over his face, it was in the way he was breathing so roughly and groaning with his thrusting.
Amidamaru was abandoning his carefulness, unable to control his animalistic desires that had been awakened after so long sleeping. He pushed one of Yoh's legs against his chest and drove himself further still into his small body, making the teen cry out his name lustily. Amidamaru's skin was shining with perspiration, the moonlight making his pale skin glisten. Yoh stared at his rippling muscles admirably before his eyes closed as a spasm of pleasure swept over him, coupled with a stinging pain that was fading to more of an ache now. His hands were tangled in Amidamaru's hair, tugging sharply at it. The little tugs delivered a small, sharp pain every time, and Amidamaru loved it. He was watching Yoh's face constantly, fascinated with the way he looked in the throes of passion. His face was at once a portrait of pain and pleasure, his eyes closed, a frown would play on his brow and his lips were wet with the saliva from the many kisses Amidamaru bestowed upon him. The little noises he made were playing havoc with Amidamaru, driving him wild but at the same time filling him with guilt whenever he whimpered in pain.
"Am I hurting you?" He whispered into his hear, sucking at the lobe. Yoh let out a breathy moan as he was thrust into deeply, feeling Amidamaru ramming right into him with so much force his skin was rubbing against the sheets below him almost painfully.
"A little, but it's…it's not too bad…and it feels…good." Yoh gasped. "Especially when y-you do that."
"This?" Amidamaru asked and repeated what he had just done – thrust shallowly into him with light but quick strokes a few times before thrusting in completely, their skin slapping together in a stinging collision.
"Mnn, yes!" Yoh moaned. "Oh god…Amida…Amidamaru…" His lover continued this action and watched smugly as he threw his head back and his nails once again bit into Amidamaru's back. In response to this, he groaned loudly and decided Yoh was ready to try another position. He knew looked over his shoulder and saw that there was a chair by the wall. He pulled out from Yoh and his belief that he was ready was confirmed when he whined at the loss. Amidamaru chuckled and stroked his face. He stood and held his hand out for Yoh, who struggled to get up, wincing at the pain in his nether regions but following Amidamaru, who sat on the chair.
"Sit on my lap…no, open your legs like you would if you were sitting on a chair backwards…yes, that's right. Now, lower your hips down onto me." Amidamaru instructed patiently and Yoh blushed before doing as he was told, feeling peculiar being the one a little in control. Amidamaru was gripping either side of his hips though and gently lowered him down onto his erection. Yoh moaned as he was penetrated, the only pain coming from when he actually entered him before disappearing almost completely, overpowered by the sensation of being filled by Amidamaru's member.
"Roll your hips…like this…follow my hands." Amidamaru guided him until Yoh was riding him, kept in place only by Amidamaru's strong hands. He tossed his head back, ecstasy all over his face, his skin burning hot. He met Amidamaru's thrusts perfectly, his hands gripping onto his shoulders as he bucked his hips in time with Amidamaru, who could feel himself approaching his climax. He took hold of Yoh's neglected erection once more and pumped his hand up the length while his other kept Yoh's hips moving exactly how he wanted them to.
"Amida – aah – Amidamar…maru…" Yoh moaned. Amidamaru tightened his grip close to the head of his member and Yoh's come exploded onto his chest in thick, white ropes. "Ahn, Amidamaru!" He cried, falling forwards, his hips stopping their motion but his insides spasming around Amidamaru's erection, the convulsing tightness pushing him to his climax. With a final, deep thrust he came within his lover, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close as he did. They stayed like that, holding onto to each other, Amidamaru still buried with Yoh. They were both panting for breath, their hearts racing each other to see whose could go the fastest. Yoh was exhausted: he couldn't even find the strength to stand up, but Amidamaru predicted this and lifted him up with him as he stood. Yoh's legs wrapped around his waist and his arms were around his neck, holding onto him as he was carried back to the bed and laid down carefully. He could feel the warm semen trickling out of him and down his inner thighs, and looked down to see he was covered in his own bodily fluids, just like Amidamaru. He smiled sleepily up at his lover, who dipped his head down to kiss him softly.
"Happy birthday, my love." He murmured as he lay beside Yoh, the boy cuddling into him. He held him protectively; possessively. Yoh's was his and nobody else's, and he would never let him go. He would never break his promise. He would stay with him forever, and love him for eternity.
