I saw this [media dot tumblr dot com (slash) tumblr (underscore) lsay8mTCCY1qzk32y dot jpg] and laughed and then decided it needed a fiction. Even though I'm supposed to be writing Tony/Bruce, this happened.

"The Hammer of Thor"

Disclaimer: The Avengers, Tony, Loki, etc belong to Marvel, Stan Lee, et co. I make no money from this and own nothing, don't sue.

Summary: [Thor/Tony] "Many wish to grasp the hammer of Thor. But only the most worthy ever feel its might." Thor's not talking about Mjölnir.

Warnings: Slash. Post-Avengers. AU. Thor/Tony. Fluff.

Rating: PG-15 for suggestion.

A/N: I saw this [media dot tumblr dot com (slash) tumblr (underscore) lsay8mTCCY1qzk32y dot jpg] and couldn't resist.

XXX

Words: 853

Chapter 1

They'd had a few drinks, a little bit of something to eat, all in all a completely typical post-victory celebration at the Avengers Tower. Their enemies were being peeled up off of the pavement by the SHIELD lackeys that always ended up doing the dirty after work, and the Avengers were relaxing back home, enjoying their down time while Jarvis kept lining up movies to watch.

But soon people started heading off to bed, or like Steve and Natasha who were actually allergic to shirking responsibilities disappeared off to fill out their incident reports (not like every news crew in New York hadn't already told the world what had happened; Fury needed to hear it straight from the pens of his team). Tony and Thor were the last men standing, so to speak, and they kept the alcohol flowing.

It was probably one of the stupidest things Tony had ever done, because Thor wasn't that drunk yet and he was still holding Mjölnir. And he had a girlfriend, too. But Tony couldn't help himself, as always. With a glass in one hand and a grin on his face, he let his free hand slide downwards, fingers brushing along Thor's shoulder then chest and then his stomach until it was pressed lightly over the God's crotch.

"Oops!" Tony mock-gasped. His hand moved immediately to touch Mjölnir, fingers barely curling around the handle just underneath where Thor's own fingers were curled. "Is it ok if I touch your hammer?" Tony moved his hand up and down, and winked at Thor when the other man met his gaze. Both of them averted their eyes then, watching Tony stroke the handle of the hammer slowly, teasingly.

Thor licked his lips when Tony wasn't looking but when the human glanced up again Thor greeted him with a tight lipped stare. "Many wish to grasp the hammer of Thor. But only the most worthy ever feel its might." He told Tony grimly, his face completely blank.

Tony swallowed heavily, suddenly regretting his bold actions when Thor raised the head of the hammer to tap lightly against his arc reactor. It made a tinkling sound, but did no damage, and Tony stared down at it with wide eyes as Thor began to talk again.

"And this be not the hammer of which I speak." He was smiling now, a small tilt at one side of his mouth. Tony eyed him warily, but Mjölnir was lower completely, and belted at Thor's waist once more leaving both of his hands free. Both hands landed on Tony's shoulders and the man rocked under their weight.

He cleared his throat loudly, unsure of what to say. "Uh?" He managed after a long moment of silence.

Thor winked at him this time, enjoying the sudden flush that spread over Tony's cheeks. "The hammer I speak of is my manhood," Thor informed him casually, as if Tony hadn't already jumped to that conclusion. Tony nodded at him, pursing his lips to stop himself from saying anything stupid, wanting the conversation to end already because yeah he got it, he wasn't worthy, he never would be. Move on already. Thor was already turning away from him, hands off of Tony's shoulders before Tony even thought to shrug them off. Thor paused in the doorway, glancing back over his left shoulder with a wide grin and wide blue eyes, "remind me friend Tony in which direction is your bedchamber?"

Tony pointed to the left, eyebrows climbing up his forehead. "That way, but can I ask why? Isn't your room the other way?"

"We can use my chambers if you like, but your chamber is on a floor all of its own and I reside close to friend Steve. It would not do to disturb his sleep." Tony only blinked. He glanced down at the empty glass he was still holding and wondered if Pepper was right and this was some alcohol fuelled hallucination brought on by liver failure or kidney failure or heart failure, or any number of diseased she had promised him he'd die of if he didn't stop partying so hard. "You made clear your desire, friend Tony. Do you not still wish to touch my manhood?"

"Hammer! I said hammer!" Tony protested. He left the glass on the counter and followed Thor out of the living room without another protest though.

Thor chuckled, low and deep and it made something curl in the pit of Tony's stomach. He swallowed heavily, the blood rushing south at the sound and at the second grin Thor shot him, more lecherous than amused this time, when he turned around to pull Tony flush against him.

"No more lies. You and I both know what you truly meant."

"Ok, yeah," Tony agreed as he brought his arms up to wind around Thor's neck. "That's what I meant. You caught me."

"Yes," Thor murmured in agreement, his own hands tightening on Tony's waist, his head lowering, knees bending so that they could be closer in height, "I caught you."

They kissed. It was the first of their many kisses to come.

The End

Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it, despite it's awful tameness.