Bucky had been up since the beginning of time, at least that's what it felt like. He had been sleeping peaceful at Steve's side when a nightmare had crept up on him. He had woken up in a cold sweat, his heart beating heavily in his chest. He couldn't tell if it had been a memory or just something his mind had made up but it didn't matter. It had shaken him up enough to softly get out of bed as to not wake Steve and move towards the balcony. The fresh cold night air had helped him chase away the last thoughts of it but he still felt uncomfortable.
He was pulled away from his thoughts when he heard that Steve's soft snoring had stopped. Looking back he saw the blonde shift his arms around the bed as if he was looking for something. A small smile crept upon his face. Smiling still felt foreign to him but he has been getting better at it. The first time he had smiled since his hydra days he had given the spider boy a heart attack, according to Peter he looked like the queen from Alien. He had no idee what that meant but judging from his face it wasn't good. But instead of staying away from him the spider boy had tried to make him smile more often. He was a good kid, a bit talkative during battles though.
He felt a hand softly glide around his shoulders, carefully resting on his metal arm. Bucky looked up and saw his favorite blonde look back at him. How Steve could still look at him as if he was the only thing he will and shall ever love was beyond him,especially after everything he did.
"What you doing up so early?" Steve knew damn well what kept Bucky up but he didn't want to pressure the other man. If there was a problem he wanted Buck to come to him on his own term and pace.
"You know.." His voice was rough as if he hadn't spoken in years. It brought a lot of pain back to his mind.
Steve sighed before he gently pulled the other into a hug, wrapping his arm around the others neck. Bucky responded by hugging him back and pulling the blonde against him.
"I can call the meeting off if you want, I'm sure the others would understand." Buck let go a bit so he could look him in eyes. There was nothing but love and understanding there. "No... I'll be fine.. just.."
It had hit him all at once. Flashbacks from the war ran through his mind. Stolen kisses and loaded looks that only they knew what hid behind them. Steve loved him no matter what happened. Steve would be there to help him and comfort him. To take care of him.
To love him.
Before he knew it there were tears streaming down his face. He raised one hand to wipe them away but there were already hands holding his head, wiping each tear away as they fell. Bucky always felt worthless. He felt like a traitor. The happy handsome guy that had been at Steve's side had been ripped away and he was all that was left. It wasn't fair that Steve still loved him as if he was still the other Buck.
What he also didn't was fair was that he just said all that out loud and know Steve knew everything. He didn't even notice he had said it until he felt his throat start to hurt with the sobs that wrecked through his body. If Strange could just open up a portal beneath him he would be grateful for the rest of his life. His eyes caught the metal that reflected the moonlight, making it shine like a sharp blade. It was easier to focus on that then on the man before him. Steve had said nothing since his little outburst.
The fear gripped at his heart. What if this was the last straw? What if this was the final thing that would break them apart?
What if this was the end of the line?
Suddenly there was a small pressure on his chin, coaxing him to look up. Blue seas met stormy skies and time seemed to stand still. Peace settled into his mind. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears. Carefully he waited till the other man moved. He didn't have to wait long as Steve leaned forward and softly placed his lips upon Bucky's. Arms sneaked around his waist and he was pulled until his body was flush against the captain's. Bucky responded by throwing his arms around the others neck, being careful with the metal one. The held onto one another as if it was the only thing keeping them alive.
Unfortunately even super soldiers need to breathe. Steve gently pulled back but stayed closed enough that Bucky could feel his breath ghost against his swollen lips. He looked up to the other through dark eyelashes. A light chuckle escaped captain. The brunette looked at him with confusion. A soft smile crept upon Steve's face. "It seems that even the most dangerous assassin can blush." When that realization hit Buck he could feel his cheeks turn an even brighter shade of pink. He looked down as an embarrassed laugh passed his lips.
"You know Nat is the most dangerous assassin." This time a true laugh could be heard coming from Steve. This caused Bucky to chuckle, that chuckle turned into a giggle which then turned into a full laugh. The kind he hadn't had in years. They must have been a sight to behold. Two superheroes laughing their asses of in the middle of the night. He hoped none of the other would hear them. They would never hear the end of it.
When the laughter had finally left their systems. He caught Steve with and expression he couldn't quite place. It was a mix of sadness and... amazement? Bewildered? Happiness? Yes that was it, sadness and happiness.
"You know Buck," this time it was Steve turn to open the waterworks. He tried to push them back but a few tears had already rolled down his cheeks. "I really missed your laugh.." His voice broke a bit when he spoke the last part. It was the truth, hearing Buck laugh made his heart feel heavy yet filled with joy at the same time.
Buck put his hand and pulled the other down for another kiss. "You're not turning into a sap, are ya punk?" There was that winning smile again, the one that made Steve look like and angel. "Only with you jerk."
Steve put an arm around Bucky's waist, guiding him back to bed. Snuggled close to each other they found peace. It wasn't long before they both had fallen into a deep and peaceful slumber.