I should be studying for exams but instead I sat in the dark and wrote this. If a lot of people take to this, then I'll consider making a comic of it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Axis Powers: Hetalia, of course. Himaruya Hidekaz owns it all!
Pokétalia: The World Meeting
World meetings are actually not as serious as they sound. Representatives from all over the world gather at a world meeting to engage in deep discussions about definitions of the words used to describe world problems and then how best to not solve them. They sit for hours in concentration, contributing greatly to global warming with the amount of carbon emissions coming from all of the hot air they expel in chatter and all-in-all do less work than the average person.
The conference room was abuzz with chatter as various attendants settled down at their seats and prepared their notes. A projector was warmed up and ready for the first speaker. England deliberately made his ascent to the podium slow so as to gain people's attention before he had to clear his throat to speak. With a clicker in hand, he began his presentation with his first slide showing an economic graph that was falling quiet dismally at the end. The whole room was now focused on him – a very positive result. He lifted himself and began his speech:
"Squirt squirtle. Squirtle squirt. Squir squirtle squirt squirtle squirtle. Squirtle squirtle squirt, squirt squirtle squir squirt squirt squirtle. Squir squirt squir squir squritle, squirtle squirtle squirtle squirtle squirtle squirtle, squirtle squirtle. Squirtle squirt, squirt squirtle squirt squirt squirt."
The speech was suddenly cut short with an interruption from another country. America jumped up on the stage next to the podium with a laugh, holding his own clicker. "Charmander! Char char, char char charmander!"
"Squirt squirtle squirt squirt squirt!" England squirted in annoyance.
"Charm char! Charm charmander charm char," America boasted, pointing his clicker at the laptop connected to the projector. The presentation suddenly switched to a new slide which showed a very crudely drawn superhero carrying a great many people out of Wall Street on his ridiculously oversized biceps. "Charmander charm charm charmander. Charm charm, charmander char charm char charmander char char!"
"Scyther," Japan agreed. Then he went back to concentrating very hard on playing his Nintendo DS, which was very hard when one didn't have hands.
"Squirtle!" England protested.
"Bulbasaur," said France with a slight toss of the head that swayed the flowers he was wearing behind his ears. "Bulba bulba bulb bulbasaur bulba bulba. Bulb bulb bulba."
"Squirt!" England snapped at France, which only caused the grass Pokémon to chuckle.
"Bulba bulba."
That comment enraged England, who leapt from the podium and began to slap France on the bulb. "Squirtle squritle squirtle! Squirtle squirt!"
"Tangela," said Canada but nobody paid him any attention.
China sighed. "Ninetails… nine nine, tails ~aru. Ninetails ninetails nine nine," he added bitterly, glancing sidelong at Russia, who had sidled up rather close to him.
"Onix ~da?"
"Nine ~aru."
Russia just smiled.
Across the table, Spain snorted happily and gave a friendly nudge with his great, big bull head to a Pikachu with a right-pointing hair curl. The Pikachu grimaced.
"Pi pi pikachu!" he screamed at Spain but that didn't put the bull Pokémon off.
"Char charmander charm charm charm," America declared, flipping through more poorly drawn cartoons of superheroes and fast cars with fire spouting out of their exhausts.
"Clefairy clefairy ~da ze!" Korea claimed.
"Vulpix," said an expressionless Hong Kong.
"Clefairy cle clefairy ~da ze!" Korea shouted.
"Ninetails ~aru!" China snapped.
"Ve~ pi pi pika," said a Pikachu with a left pointing hair curl.
A Slowbro snored peacefully at his chair surrounded by at least ten stray Meowth whose presence was completely unexplained.
"Onix, onix, onix," Russia said to three of Eevee's evolutions: Flareon, Jolteon and Vaporeon. They all shuddered and turned blue in the face (or bluer, in the Vaporeon's case).
A Ponyta neighed and jumped in front of the Vaporeon. "Ponyta! Pony pony!"
"Vaporeon…" Lithuania muttered.
Belarus slithered up behind the three, her gelatinous mass and large tentacles threatening to poison the Baltic States and Poland. "Tentacruel!" she hissed.
Onix hesitated and started to sidle away. Even though he knew Belarus wouldn't hurt him what she would try to do was probably worse. Poland reared again, defiant despite the type disadvantage he was at against Belarus. Estonia's fur sparked as his hairs rubbed together in irritation at the whole situation. Latvia fainted, accidentally blowing out a little Ember as he did, which burned the tip of one of Ukraine's red leaves.
"GGlllooooooommm!" she wailed, leaping from her chair and releasing a huge cloud of foul-smelling gas from her head. The whole conference room cringed and cried out as the offensive odour permeated every corner of the room.
"Charmander!" America yelled.
"Ninetails!" China squealed.
They both used Flamethrower on Ukraine to try to make her stop. While it succeeded in preventing the release of any more noxious gas it left Ukraine on fire, running around and screaming at the top of her lungs, spurting Toxic every now and again. Hungary leaped into action, tossing her "bone-erang" at Ukraine and hitting her in the head. Ukraine fainted. Sweden kindly put out her flames with a gentle Water Gun. Finland gave her the Revive he was holding out of mercy. She came to. Hungary clapped her hands in joy and turned to shake a Wigglytuff with a beauty mole and half-rimmed glasses.
"Marowak, wak wak," she gushed. Austria just sighed and nodded to agree with her and then turned back to music he was writing because nobody else was doing any work, so why should he?
Ukraine blinked the bleariness out of her eyes and smiled when the first face she saw was the friendly face of Finland.
"Seel seel?" Finland asked, glad that she was at least awake.
"Gloom," she replied. And then she turned and saw the frightening visage of Sweden and fainted again. Sweden slithered away to sulk, wishing he wasn't a Gyarados.
"DRATINI!" exclaimed a small country wearing a sailor hat. He took the vacated position at the podium and held himself up as high as he could, searching for recognition. "Dratini tini dratini."
"Squirtle! Squirtle squirt squirt!" England snapped at Sealand. He used Water Gun at the insolent little Dragon-type but water moves aren't very effective on Dragon-types. Sealand shook himself free of excess water and stared defiantly at England.
"Dratini dratini!"
Suddenly Sealand was thrown from the podium by Germany's Take Down attack. He banged his paw on the lectern and roared: "GROWLITHE! Growl growl growl growlithe! Growlithe growlithe growlithe, growlithe growl growl, growl growl Growlithe!"
America raised his hand. "Char char charmander char char!" he proclaimed arrogantly.
Germany blasted him with Flamethrower. America blasted him back. Suddenly, Switzerland used Mega Punch on America, sending him flying into Turkey.
"Kangaskhan!" Switzerland reprimanded, petting the head of the little Lichtenstein sitting in his pouch.
Turkey shook his palm leaves in indignation and used Psychic to toss America back at Switzerland. Switzerland deflected the attack, which sent America flying into Russia but Russia didn't really mind because he was caught in an amorous Wrap attack from Belarus. It did irritate Belarus, though, and she spat Toxic at America. America jumped up and evaded the attack (how he hadn't been K.O.'d by Turkey's Psychic attack, nobody knew). He hit Belarus with Fire Blast (how such an immature Pokémon knew such an attack was also anybody's guess). It made Belarus more angry than injured. She peeled herself away from Russia and blasted him with Hydro Pump. America grabbed his tail, trying to keep his life-flame dry as he ran like mad from the powerful attack.
Germany ran over to North Italy in desperation. "Growlithe! Growl, growl growl," he said with regret, "growl… growlithe, growl."
"Ve~ Pikachu," Italy agreed easily, not even caring about the gravity of what Germany was asking.
Pikachu used Thunder.
Everyone fainted.