The city surrounds him but it's quiet here. The bridge spanning the river is a jungle of straight-edged crisscrosses that stand out against the grey sky. It's night and high above is the endless black abyss dotted with white stars. But close to the horizon the city lights reflect off the clouds and creates the glowing yellow that pollutes the sky.
He can hear cars rushing through the city and sees headlights and red taillights flitting across a sister bridge, fluttering like butterflies of the dark. He can hear the river below, rushing swiftly under the bridge, past the skyscrapers, around the barges, ignoring humanity and being ignored.
Usually he can admire the city light reflecting on the water. The sparkling and twisting of light. But not tonight, and not for a while back. Naruto tries to remember the last time he found beauty in the city but like the water below the memories flow past, tumbling through his thoughts without any regard for his emotions.
He leans over the metal beam and a glint of light catches his eye. He stares down at it trying to gauge the size of the spot, and from that the height of the bridge. It's high enough.
"Don't."
Naruto jerks back at the commanding voice. The source is a teenager like himself. He's leaning in the shadows of a metal support with a cigarette in his mouth. The red tip is lighting his pale face, pulsing against the smooth skin. Two red dots glow in his dark eyes. He's looking out at the river and doesn't meet Naruto's gaze.
"Don't what?" Naruto asks.
"You know," the boy replies.
"No I don't." Naruto's voice is low and angry but cautious. The dark eyes move from the river to him. An elegant eyebrow rises, calling him out on the lie that's obvious to the both of them. "And you don't know anything either," Naruto growls.
"No?" The arrogant, self-assured tone grates against Naruto.
"No!" he snaps. "Go away!"
"I like the view from here," the dark eyed teen responds lazily. He drops his cigarette and scuffs it out. Naruto turns away from him and stares angrily at the river. His muscles are tense, instinctually reacting to that arrogant, superior tone. He mentally forces them to relax as much as possible but he still feels like he's wearing a jacket that's too small and made of iron.
He considers going on with his plan anyways. It's just another kid right? One swing over the railing and then a blissful fall through the dark air, into the dark water, and then into the darkness beyond. But he knows he won't do anything while someone else is watching.
A breeze ruffles the water's surface, disrupting the pattern of rippling lights. The long waves of light are fractured into tiny bits of glitter as the wind moves towards them. It brushes Naruto's skin, cooling it, and twirls through his hair. It carries the scent of the river, fresh and dirty, like wet sand.
A pair of pale arms rests against the rail inches from Naruto. He can feel the teen's body as he leans against the metal and it takes his weight. Naruto ignores him for long minutes but remaining silent has never been his thing.
"Are you ever gonna leave?" he demands.
"Depends on which way you're planning to leave," the raven replies without a trace of emotion.
"Huh?"
The raven glares at him. "If you're planning on going home and forgetting about that stupid plan that's running through your head, then I will leave."
"Oh."
The raven goes back to staring at the river but Naruto keeps staring at him. His dark eyes are trained forward, fixed on something in the water. His lashes cast small shadows against his bone. The wind brushes the longer strands of hair that frame is face. He's pretty. Naruto wonders if he's ever seen a guy so pretty before. For now he doesn't question whether he's ever even found a girl to rival the dark boy's beauty.
"Are you an angel?" Naruto blurts out. The raven only gives him a disdainful glare. Okay, definitely not an angel.
"Well what are you doing here then?" Naruto asks.
The raven shrugs and doesn't answer. Naruto waits for a few moments. The clamoring sounds of the city blend into a wave of indistinguishable white noise.
"Well?"
There's a pause before the raven answers but Naruto makes it clear with his unwavering gaze that he wants an answer. "I had meant to take care of some business."
"Business? What's that mea-?" He breaks off. "Oh. Do you mean you were going to…?" He waves vaguely out at the river.
"I never said that."
"But that's what you meant. Isn't it?" No reply. "Why'd you stop me if you're thinking the exact same thing?"
"I'm not the same as you," the other teen says darkly. "And I never said I was going to."
Naruto snorts. "You pretty much did. I mean, you've been here before right?" He asks but he asks with the confident lift of his voice of someone who already knows the answer. "You've wondered if it'll hurt, you've tried to decide if anyone will care? There's a reason you knew what I was thinking when all I was doing was looking down at the water."
The dark eyed teen stays silent.
"You're not there quite yet, are you? You may be thinking about it but it's not bad enough yet is it?" Naruto asks.
"It's bad enough," the other comments softly. "But to do something so obviously dramatic and self-pitying? I'll admit my pride is all that's kept me alive for a while now. Maybe I have a few more weeks now. The thought of having to wait in line?" He makes a disgusted sound in his throat.
"What's so bad about being like other people?"
The raven gives him a weird look.
"What?" Naruto asks.
"There's nothing wrong with it. It's just that I'm not like other people."
"In what ways?"
The raven shrugs. "I'm talking to you aren't I?" There isn't any cruelty in his voice but the words snap at Naruto. Does he kn-?
"Do you know who I am?" Naruto asks darkly.
"No. Should I?"
"No," Naruto says shortly. "I guess you meant most people don't talk to strangers here huh?"
"There's that."
"There's more?" Naruto guesses.
"Hn."
"So you're different from other people. Is that why you came here?"
"Maybe."
"Maybe? You don't even know why you're here?"
"I know. But that doesn't mean I'm willing to share with a stranger who's emotionally unstable."
"Ouch."
The raven rolls his eyes. They both know that emotionally unstable is a kind and even weak phrase when applied to themselves.
The raven turns his back to the river, leans back on his forearms. Suddenly his gaze is more intense and closer.
"Why are you here?" the raven asks.
"Regular story of a kid growing up in foster homes," Naruto says casually glancing away. "That comes with the whole physical, emotional, and sexual abuse territory."
"Is that all?" The raven wasn't asking sarcastically but honestly.
"No."
"Didn't think so. You're a bad liar."
"I wasn't lying."
"But you were thinking about not telling me the whole truth."
"That's not lying," Naruto points out.
"Eh." The raven shrugs. "So…?"
"Oh. Well, my parents- my real parents- have a history. They weren't very good people. People our age, they don't know much about it but their parents do and when they tell them... it never ends well for me."
"People need to get over themselves."
"Huh?"
"People need to get over themselves."
"I heard you. What do you mean?"
"They fear you. The parents and the kids. People are always afraid of something. It doesn't matter what, they let it blind them and rule them. If they could get over it and think about other people for a change maybe this world wouldn't be so fucked up."
A lone car crosses the bridge. The headlights slide across the raven's face as he watches the blonde.
"Maybe," Naruto says doubtfully. He's not very attentive to the raven just then. His mind is off wandering, shuffling through his memories. They fear you. He can feel the prickle of tears in his eyes as he recalls endless moments of humiliation and rejection and fear. He focuses on the water and the play of yellow and white lights across its dark, glassy surface.
The raven watches the blonde. The scarred, tan face is crisscrossed with shadows from the bridge and caught in an expression of loneliness. The raven's own expression is blank but he knows what the other is feeling. He's lived under that same shadow of loneliness for years now.
"Hey." The raven's voice commands Naruto's attention and he tears his gaze from the river. For a fraction of a second blue eyes meet black, questioning. Then the boy's lips touch Naruto's own. Naruto can smell the cigarette lingering on his flawless skin and he imagines he can taste it on the boy's lips as well.
Naruto jerks back and their lips part. The other boy makes no move to follow him. He remains leaning casually against the rail.
"What was that for?!" Naruto demands.
The dark teen meets his wide-eyed stare with calm eyes. "I actually didn't have a definite purpose, like say, cheering you up." The raven shrugs. "I just felt like it."
"You can't just do things like that because you feel like it! I'm not even gay!"
"Like I said," the raven says lazily, letting his head drop back. "People need to get over themselves."
Naruto glares at him, but he's gazing up at a hole in the screen of clouds and into a spiral of stars above. Naruto's eyes trace the lines in his neck.
"So why'd you end up here tonight?" Naruto asks.
"Why do you want to know?"
"I told you my reasons."
"I never asked you to tell me."
"Yes you did."
There's a pause as the raven replays the conversation. "Oh."
"Yeah, oh. So tell me."
"You do realize you were rather vague about your reasons."
"You want my whole life story?"
"No."
"Didn't think so." Naruto waits for him to talk. The city glows in his bright blue eyes. Black eyes slide from the sky to meet the blue stare. The raven sighs and mutters something.
"What was that?"
The raven lifts his head. "I said I hate my brother."
"Enough to kill yourself?"
The raven considers the question. "No. Maybe. Probably not if it were that alone."
"What's he do to you?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Sure it does."
"No it really doesn't," he says tightly.
"Just tell me, it's not like I have anyone to share with." He pokes the other boy. "Come on."
His finger is slapped away. "Stop bothering me," the raven says irritably. "I told you it doesn't matter." It really doesn't matter what his brother's done to him. But somehow it does matter, just a little bit, that this stranger sharing the bridge with him cares enough to ask and to keep asking.
"What's your name?" the blonde asks.
"If I told you, won't it just depress you when you read it in the obituary?"
"Who reads those things? And hey, I thought maybe you won't do it now."
"Why wouldn't I?"
"I don't know." Naruto shrugs. "Why did you stop me?"
"I didn't want to watch you die."
"But why not? Why should you care?"
"Who said I care?"
"But you do. Don't you?"
"Yeah," the raven mutters. "I guess I do."
Naruto smiles. It's small and there's a sad bitterness to it. But for the first time in months there's a touch of happiness too. He leans over and presses his lips to the raven's. The kiss is short but Naruto stays close to him, noses almost touching.
"I thought you weren't gay?" the raven says with a raised eyebrow.
"I didn't think I was." This time Naruto's smile is even bigger. "But maybe I got over it."
The raven chuckles softly and Naruto grins, drawing out of his personal space. The sound of his laugh, however quiet and small it is, makes a warm happiness fizzle in Naruto.
"Thank you," Naruto tells him suddenly growing serious. "I would have hated to miss that."
"Miss what?"
"Meeting you. Hearing you laugh. It feels good, I guess. Being here."
"Here on earth? Or on a bridge at four in the morning?"
"Both."
"Yeah." The raven nods. "I know what you mean."
The raven twists around. They stand side by side and gaze into the river below. But the water and its course through the land and its lack of humanity and compassion are forgotten. The wind pushes little waves across its surface and ruffles blonde hair and catches strands of black
The raven feels Naruto's warmth. He wonders why he doesn't feel as burdened. The pain is still there and he knows it won't slip away as easily as the wind slips through the bridge trusses. But he thinks that by sharing this bridge and this moment, that somehow, they've shared their loneliness. He leans a little closer towards the other teen.
Naruto looks out over the city and thinks that perhaps he can admire the way the lights dance on the water, like dragonflies skirting above the wet surface. He looks at the pale delicate fingers dangling in the air above the river and looks at his own tan ones. He leans closer and brushes against the raven, feeling his warmth. He thinks about the blood that flows through the other boy and wonders if their heartbeats are in sync.