Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles- A silent moment speaks the truth...
It`s been a long day at Boston Homicide and Jane and Maura were chilling at Mauras on the couch. Jane had herself a bottle of beer and Maura her glass of red wine. They were covered up in a snuggly blanket and watching a baseballgame on tv. Jane was totally focused on the screen, screaming and yelling to the players on the field, not noticing, that Maura was about to fall asleep.
In a moment of silence, Mauras head softly sank down and Jane looked at her in wonder, seeing Mauras face peacefully asleep, resting on her shoulder. "Maura?" she whispered and wanted to wake her up, so she could go to bed. But then she paused for a second, just looking at her face... her closed eyes, her clear light skin, her soft lips... her lips...beautiful... her eyes just refused to move away from those lips until Jane realized, she was starring at her best friend like a lovesick fool. Her heart jumped by thinking about how much she enjoyed just looking at her face and how much she liked those soft lips and, gosh, how good her hair smelled...like melon and passiofruit... some kind of fruitcocktail. She hold her breath for a second. What the hell was going on? Her first reaction was to just jump off the couch and run- up the stairs- away from her sick thoughts, away from Maura. As she carefully tried to move away a little, Maura snuggled up a little closer, placing her face right unto Janes neck, letting out a satisfied sigh, so her warm breath stroke Janes sensitive skin right under her ear. It felt like burning and Jane sucked in a deep breath, then holding it for a moment to release it, realizing she was actually trembling. Mauras breath on her skin just made every inch of Janes body react... and that scared the hell out of her. Her heart sounded like a basedrum in her own ears. A wave of heat rolled through her body and a something weired happend inside of her stomache. She wanted to leave- or hide or... whatever, but she couldn`t move- and did she REALLY wanted to go and leave this feeling... and leave Maura? She turned out the tv. Starring into the darkness, not able to move. She was even too scared to take a second look at her friends face. It was awfully quite, but on the other hand, every little sound seemed to be screaming into her ears. Mauras regular deep breath, her own trembling flat breath and the sound of her heart, that was beating like a drum.
She didn`t know, how much time had gone by, but every muscle in her body ached and she needed to get up. Slowly she layed Mauras head down on the couch and coverd the blanket over her. She stopped for one last short glance at this sleeping beauty, then she left for her bedroom and tried to find at least a couple hours of sleep.
She woke to the sound of Maura making coffee for breakfast in the kitchen and singing quitely to herself. The sun stung her eyes. Jane felt awfull. Her body was sore, her head ached and she felt sick all over. What happend? It took a few seconds, until the last night came back into her mind... Mauras face, Mauras hair, Mauras breath on her skin. Suddenly she felt like throwing up. She pulled the pillow over her head and just wished, that all this turned out to be a very bad dream.
She heared footsteps coming up the stairs. OH NO! She pretended to be asleep and hoped Maura would leave her alone, if she`d notice, Jane was still sleeping. A quite noise of the door opening carefully. Soft footsteps. Was her face trembling? Hell, no! The bed moved under the weight of Maura, sitting down right next to her. Janes heart wanted to jump off her chest... she felt it beating inside of her throat. "Jane?" Maura whispered. She didn`t move. Then suddenly warm fingertips tingeling her neck. In a pure shocking reaction, Jane slapped away Mauras hand. "OUCH!" Maura stroke her hand, starring at Jane, like she had lost her mind. "Sorry Maura..." she stumbled,"... I had... nightmares, you know... and then something touched me, and..." she searched for words, but Maura layed her warm hand down on her arm, "It`s okay, Jane, I`m sorry. I should have known. I didn`t meant to scare you." Jane looked down on Mauras hand- rested on her skin. Skin on skin. Immediatly she pulled away her arm and sat herself up. "Uhm... is that coffee, I smell?" she asked. "Yes. And fresh baked french butter croissants, if you want. I`ll wait for you downstairs." she smiled and stood up. "Great.", Jane said weakly and she tried to crack a smile. When Maura left the room, Jane let her head fall onto her knees with a loud desperate sigh.
She managed to get herself into the shower and let the hot water run down her back for minutes. She was lost in thoughts, alomost forgetting to wash herself and get out to get her breakfast. She tumbled down the stairs, the bright sun almost blinded her eyes and she sank down on a chair without even looking at Maura. "Are you alright?" Maura asked. "Hu?" Jane looked up into Mauras worried face. "Yeah... yeah. Just been a though night, you know... nightmares...and... stuff..." Maura nodded, "Why didn`t you woke me up? I could have... been there." she said. "No, Maura, come on, I`m a big girl. I have to get through the nights alone." she answered with a well played smile. Maura smiled back and as they looked at each other, Jane remembered Mauras breath on her neck the night before and she froze immediatly, then quickly looked away and said "Uhm... didn`t you mention coffee, when you woke me up?" and she pretended to be looking around as she was searching for the coffee, that was standing right infront of her, actually. Maura grabbed it and held it up infront of her face, "Well, good morning and welcome to reality!", she giggled.
- Later at work-
Maura sat on Janes desk, while Jane was showing her new details of a case on her computer, as a girl with a huge bouquett of flowers entered the room. "Dr. Maura Isles, anyone?!" she asked loudly. Maura stood up, "That would be me!" she said smiling and took the flowers, while she was searching for a note. "Who are these from?" she asked. The girl grinned, "I don`t know..." she paused and winked at Maura. "You know, the guy named `Larry´ told me, not to tell you...!", she whispered. Maura poundered for a second- then she remembered Larry, the mailboy."Oh!" she said "Thank you very much." she whisperd to the girl. Shaking her head smiling, she went back to Janes desk. Jane was not amused. "Now, who?!" she asked bluntly and obviously offended. "Larry." Maura said with a bemused grin. "Larry... WHO?!" shot Jane back. Maura looked at her and wondered why Jane was so aggressive all of a sudden. "Larry. The mailboy." she said and looked at Jane in question. "THE MAILBOY?! Maura, really?! Come on, how old is he? 14?"she almost yelled with a dark expression on her face. Maura looked around embarressed. "Could you please stop yelling like that? I didn`t send HIM flowers, Jane. Why are you so mad at me?" she whispered. Jane looked around likewise and answered quitely, "Because you`re smiling like a schoolgirl who was asked out for a dance! Why the hell are you smiling like that, when a mailboy sends you flowers, god damn it?!". Maura didn`t seemed to understand what was going on. "Because... I like flowers! What is wrong with you?" she asked confused. Jane jumped up from her chair without looking at Maura, "Never mind." she said quitely and left the office, leaving Maura with an open mouth, totally puzzled.
Jane entred the elevator and waited for the doors to shut, which seemed to take forever. She bumped her head against the wall. "GOSH!" she barked and slammed her fist against the door.
Frost looked at Maura confused, who was still starring at the door. Jane was gone. "Uhm... Dr. Isles?" he asked carefully. She looked at him without saying a word. "You okay?" , he went over to her, placing a hand on her arm. Maura poundered. "Frost, could you...", she looked at the door and Frost completed the question; "... go and find out, what`s up with Jane? Yeah, sure...", he smiled and patted her arm. "I`ll be right back."
Frost jumped into the elevator just before the doors closed and almost bumped into Jane, whose head was leaning against the wall. "Hey!" he said, while Jane almost jumped up. "GOSH, Frost!" she grouched. "You alright?", he looked at her worried. Jane starred at the ground. "Why do you freak out about... flowers?!" he asked carefully. "It`s not the damn flowers, it`s her! Running around, making everyone falling in love with her, just for HER entertainment, taking home those disgusting jerks all the time...! But that`s NOT what she needs... she..." she paused. Frost gazed at her in silence. Then suddenly he seemed to understand and a barely noteable smile crossed his face. "...she- deserves better." he finished her sentence. "Yes!" she almost yelled. "...and she- deserves someone who values her with all she is, who can deal with her geeky `speacialness´..?" he went on. "Yes.", Jane agreed. "Someone, who knows her inside out, who appriciates her with all her flaws...?" he asked. Jane looked at him in question. "...yeah..." she almost whispered and paused. Frost smiled "Well, who the hell could that be? Hmm..." he asked sarcasticly. Jane seemed to be confused. Then an expression of understanding showed up in her eyes. The elevator stopped. "Wait...w..what do you..." she stumbled, but Frost was almost gone. "Tell her, Jane. Really.", he said without looking back. He waved and then he was gone.
The door closed again. The silence hit her like a hammer. She closed her eyes, sucking in a deep breath and hold it for a couple of seconds. Then she let it out slowly and tried to get her head together again. She couldn`t. Why the hell did she felt like crying? There was a huge lump in her throat and she just couldn`t swallow it. It did hurt. Badly. "Okay..." she whispered to herself. "That`s enough for today." She dialed Korzsaks number and told him, she was sick and she was now heading home. Home. Where was home, now? Since she was involved into a shooting, it happend to be, that she almost moved in with Maura. Almost all of her clothes were there. She hadn`t been in her appartment for weeks now. But she didn`t wanted to go "home" to Mauras. She needed space. And silence. And distance. So she drove back to her lonely appartment and sank down on the couch. She needed distraction. She ordered a big salame-pizza and coke and turned on the tv.
- Later in the evening-
Maura opend the frontdoor. It was dark inside. No sound. Jane wasn`t here. "Wha...!?". Without even switching the light on, she turned around and headed back to her car. She drove straight to Janes appartment, constantly poundering, what she might have done wrong. Why was Jane so mad at her?
A loud knock on the door. Jane starred at the door, as if it would open itself. It knocked again. "Jane?!... I know, you`re there!... Come on, I can feel you starring at the door! Open up!" Maura said loudly. Without wanting it, Jane smiled a little, cause she loved the fact, that Maura knew, she was starring at the door. Slowly she got up and headed for the door. She felt heavy as a stone. She leaned her arm into the doorway and opend up, with the face of a beaten dog. Maura just stood there, looking at her for a moment. Jane turned around and fell back onto the couch, staring back on the tv. Maura stepped in and closed the door. "Jane... if I..." she searched for words, "... if I did anything, that made you so mad at me, I do apologize, but... you have to tell me!" she said almost desperatly. Jane swallowed hard, searching for answeres, but her head was empty. She starred at the screen, without seeing anything. "Jane...?" Maura sat down right next to her and placed a warm hand on Janes knee. Without thinking, she pushed her hand away a little too hard, "DON`T... you touch me..." she whispered darkly. Maura starred at her, speechless, as Jane looked away. Maura let out a trembling breath and Jane knew, she was about to tear up. She didn`t know what to do... or, what to say. She closed her eyes, "Maura... I`m sorry..." she said under her breath. She was afraid to open her eyes. A teardrop fell on Janes knee, found it`s way through the soft fabric of her pyjamapants and burned into her skin. Shocked, Jane opened her eyes, seeing Maura crying. Just in that moment, Maura stood up and headed for the door. "Maura...MAURA! Wait...!" she ran after her, grabbing her arm. Maura didn`t look up, she was still in tears. Jane didn`t know what to say. She sighed and let her head hang down. Maura waited for an explaination and the silence seemed to scream now. "I`m sorry, Jane... I don`t know what I`ve done to hurt you, but it wasn`t my intention..", Maura broke the silence. Janes face was hidden behind her hair, she still had her eyes closed to fight the tears that somehow came up. "Just tell me, what I`ve done wrong and I...", Maura was interrupted by Janes hands grabbing her face and pulling her into a desperated kiss. For a moment the earth stood still, until Jane realized, what she was doing- then she released Maura and starred at her in shock. "Maura... I`m sorry... I... I can explain...I..." she stumbled, while she felt, like her head would explode. Maura tried to catch her breath, "Jane..." she started, but Jane just went on babbling. "Jane!" she said a little louder, but Jane was still searching for an explaination. "...I have these nightmares all the time and.. and...", she went on. "SHUT UP!" Maura yelled at her. Jane shut her mouth, starring at Maura. Maura was still out of breath and her eyes were opend wide. "Do you feel that?!" she asked quickly and took Janes hand. She placed her finger on the pulse of her neck. Jane looked at her, totally clueless."Uhm... what?" she said. "Do you feel that?!" Maura asked again, placing Janes hand on her chest. Immediatly Jane tried to pull away, but Maura had a grip on her. "You`re... alive?!" Jane aswered carefully. "That never happens to me... that last happend, when my mother told me, she was coming to dinner a day earlier, remember? My heart NEVER races! That NEVER happens!" Maura told her, totally out of her mind. Jane didn`t know what to say, watching Maura checking her pulse. "Okay. Do it again!" she said to Jane very seriously. "Do w...!" Jane took a step back and tried to laugh, "Maura, come o..mmmm" she said, while Maura just grabbed her face and kissed her gently on the lips. Jane moaned quietly into Mauras mouth, while they opened their lips and Jane felt a hot flush on her face when she finally embraced Mauras soft tongue on her own . Maura let out a sharp trembling breath. Just when Jane thought, she was just going to loose herself inside of this kiss, Maura pushed her away. "Oh my god!" Maura yelled hysterically. "Yeah..." Jane whispered with her eyes still closed. "JANE!". Jane opend her eyes, "What?" she asked softly. "I`M GAY!" Maura yelled out of her mind. Jane burst out laughing a little "Really?!", she said bemused, stroking Mauras arm. "I mean... what took me so long?! I am a doctor, I should have known...!" she babbled on. Jane took a hold of her shoulders and tried to calm her a little. Just as she wanted to say something, Maura went on, "Jane, I`m scared! I don`t know, how that works!" She said out of breath. "How what works?", Jane asked softly. "GAY!" Maura shot back. Jane couldn`t hold back a giggle. "Okay... take a deep breath. Calm yourself, okay?" she said and looked straight into her eyes, "You are a doctor, right?" she asked and Maura nodded with a quite desperate look on her face. "So, I guess, you can figure it out...", Jane smiled. Finally Maura smiled aswell and started to relax a little. She looked up to Jane, who was still laughing and Maura couldn`t help it, but join in, until Jane leaned forward to kiss her again.
-A few days later, at Mauras-
Angela unlocked Mauras door and peeked her head in. "Maura? Are you there?". Noone answered. She almost wanted to turn around and head back to the guesthouse, when she heared some noises out of Mauras bedroom. "Maura?" she asked again. She knocked shortly, then opend the door, to find Maura sitting on top of someone, who hid under the blanket."Angela!" Maura screamed. "Oh! I`m sorry, Maura!" she said embarressed, trying not to look at them, "I didn`t noticed a visitor came in here, so...", she paused a second, when she noticed a shaved leg and a fragile womens foot, that hung out of the bed." Uhm... go on with...", she looked up and realized the curley black hair that laid spread out on the pillow, "... with, whatever it is, you were doing... Bye." She smiled knowingly at Maura and then looked at the pillow, "Bye Jane." she said bemused. Maura tried not to burst out laughing. An embarressed pause. Then a guilty hushed voice mumbled "Bye Ma...".. Maura sank down on Jane, laughing. "Kill me, now. PLEASE!", Jane said.
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