AN: Betaed by the most wondrous MostCrazyLady and KarieAuthoress- they kept me writing and then cleaned up with what I came out with. Thank you ladies!

Description: The Weasley's have a squib relative they don't talk to or about, he works at a muggle bank (they think he's something called an accountant), but actually their relative works at 'The Bank' under a different name – Smithers.

Accountant?
By Marns AKA Bumpkin
Rated PG
Gen
(Wordcount: 2,588)

Alex had been called down to the 'Bank' yet again. He wasn't happy about it but by this time he was used to it. What he wasn't used to was being left to his own devices while Blunt and Jones had to deal with something that came up in between his being called and his arrival. Of course he wasn't allowed to leave until he'd been told why he'd been summoned, which sucked. So, bored out of his tree with just hanging around and waiting, he was trying to amuse himself by wandering aimlessly as he killed time. After poking his nose into one too many places where it was nearly taken off by touchy agents, Alex brightened as he found himself in Smithers' domain.

"Ho, Alex, m'boy," Smithers jovially greeted the teen. "What brings you to my little corner of mayhem and madness?"

Alex grinned at the large man's exuberant greeting. "Just killing some time, Smithers. Blunt and Jones dragged me down here but something came up so they left me cooling my heels while they deal with it."

"I see," Smithers said genially, then he perked up. "Oh, that means you have time to spare."

Alex laughed. "Yes, I just said that."

Smithers mock glared at Alex and huffed a bit before saying, "No, I was meaning that you weren't here with only enough time to barely outfit you on whatever mission they have you earmarked for, that you have some real 'time' to go over some stuff with me! I have a number of things I wanted your input on, things for missions and to just pick your brain on what I could, well, *improve* I guess, for you for missions. Things that any teen should have and not look out of place using. Give you the tools to make you safer when you are being sent on a mission."

Alex blinked in surprise at the man's vehemence, and at what seemed to be his very real concern for Alex's safety. "Oh. Ah," and then couldn't seem to find anything else to say. He was not used to anyone at the 'Bank' being in any way worried about him when he was working for them. It was rather nice actually.

Smithers harrumphed at his less than eloquent reply, but Alex could tell he was more amused than anything else. Moving more quickly than a man his size should be able to, Smithers turned around and motioned for Alex to follow. Shrugging, Alex just went with the flow and followed. Smithers led the boy deeper into his laboratory and Alex gazed interestedly around at the many projects scattered here and there in their many stages of development. It was fascinating. Smithers for his part was happily holding forth on many of the objects as they passed them, especially the ones he noticed Alex taking interest in.

Then they came to a section of the lab which must have been Smithers' personal area as there wasn't near as much stuff as there were papers, drawing boards, and computers humming away. There, tucked off into a little corner, was a desk. An old fashioned one made out of solid wood with many little cubbies and drawers rising from the edge against the wall. Alex could see at one point there had been a hinge that allowed the portion against the wall to fold down, but it had been modified to blend in with the shelving unit built around it. He stared in wonder at all the little knickknacks and sundry stored on those shelves as Smithers ushered him into one of the large wood and leather wingback office chairs that matched the old desk.

Scanning the contents of the shelves Alex was marveling at the odd way Smithers' mind must work to even dream up some of the things that were there, but then his curious gaze fell on one thing and stopped. 'What in the world?' It resembled more than anything else a clock, sorta, but it had too many hands to be any kind of clock that Alex was familiar with. Hands that were different colours seemed to have different purposes, the plain black ones were labeled with names (his being one of them) and pointed to the outer ring on the clock face which was sectioned off into things like 'school', 'work', 'home' and 'mortal peril' of all things. The shorter hands were brown and pointed to the inner ring of the clock's face which was sectioned off into 'time to eat', 'time to work', 'too late' and 'time to sleep' among other things. Odd to say the least.

Smithers must have noticed him eyeballing the wannabe clock with what had to be a very strange expression on his face and got excited. "You can see my clock?" he asked. "I mean really see it?"

Alex switched his attention from the clock to Smithers himself, although the expression on his face didn't change much he guessed, it was still questioning and confused. "Yes?"

"Marvelous! Absolutely spiffing!" Smithers literally jiggled in his seat with his happiness. "This is fabulous!"

"Really?" Alex didn't understand why it was so good that he could see the crazy clock but decided to humour what seemed to be the equally crazy person he was sitting with. "And why is it so marvelous/spiffing/fabulous?" He asked.

"Because, my dear boy," Smithers answered him. "It means that you are the same as I am – a squib!"

Alex couldn't have stopped his eyebrow flying up to meet his hairline even if he'd tried, not that he wanted to. "A what?"

"A squib! Someone who can see and interact with the magical world, but not use actual magic. One of your parents must have had ties to the magical world, it's hereditary you understand, and as I never knew your father or uncle to be able to use my 'specials' that only leaves your mother as the one to be the source of your ability."

Alex gave his head a shake as he honestly tried to understand what the man was speaking about. It didn't work, he was still lost. "What? Magical world? What on earth are you talking about, Smithers?"

Smithers had been muttering to himself about having to introduce Alex to the 'twins' – which for some reason had a fission of terror or something like it running down Alex's spine when he overheard it – and their being an invaluable resource when Alex derailed him by asking what he did.

"Oh! Oh yes, you wouldn't know would you," Smithers said, once again focusing on Alex. "Well, in that case I guess I should tell you."

"Yes, please!" Alex said with some exasperation.

Smithers grinned and said jovially, "A little patience, Alex, I shall tell you all. Have to really, the fact that you can see magical things could get you into a pretty pickle in some parts of the world, and that would be bad if it were to happen on one of your missions."

Alex snorted and rolled his eyes. "Just going on missions tends to get me into a pretty pickle if you ask me," he muttered.

"Yes, well, be that as it may," Smithers said in dry agreement to Alex's words, "there is always the opportunity for things to get worse."

"True," was the fatalistic response from Alex. "So, magical world?"

"Yes, as I was saying, the Magical World is real – it's just hidden from most 'muggles' as they call us. They split away back sometime in the 1600's and made it illegal for magic to be performed in front of everyday people. Out of sight, out of mind I gather was the plan. Of course it wasn't perfect, too many stories remained of magic for them to totally disappear, but it was enough. Although when dissatisfied squibs take it into their minds to write what turns into multi-million dollar novels about the world it doesn't help."

Alex interrupted, "Wait, you are saying the 'Harry Potter' world of magic is real?"

Smithers scowled darkly. "Oh yes, and let me tell you that Ms Rowling got herself into quite the mess over those novels. Although," he perked up and his eyes sparkled as he imparted this next little bit of information, "she did give me a mention, me and well, my family got a bit more than a mention."

"Oh?" Alex asked curiously.

"Yes." Smithers beamed at the boy and motioned to his clock again, this time pointing out some of the other named hands. "The Weasley's featured in the books are my cousins, and I was the 'squib accountant' mentioned by young Ronald in the books."

Alex peered at the clock again and sure enough, the whole tribe mentioned in the books were there – each with their own hand. "Oh wow, so those books were actually telling a true story?"

Smithers snorted. "Not hardly, they were very skewed from what really happened. The worst pack of slanted lies you could ever dream up really. Dumbledore didn't have his fingers in near as many pies as those books portrayed, nor were things near as black and white - and on a more personal note that rotten epilogue tossed in there was so much balderdash. Much as I like young Harry, he didn't marry into my family. Nor did the brilliant Hermione, alas. Perhaps for the best, after all – any marriage between her and Ronald would have ended in a homicide, not sure whose but death nonetheless…" he trailed off as he thought about it. Alex let him; he needed some time to process what he'd just been told. 'Magic was real.' It boggled the mind. It also made him want to read at least one of the books again since he'd really only skimmed the one Smithers had given him as part of his equipment that one time. And speaking of 'equipment', what had Smithers meant when he said his father and Ian hadn't ever used his 'specials'?

They sat for a bit, just thinking their own thoughts but then when Alex had barely managed to wrap his mind around the whole idea 'magic was real' thing, Smithers started to talk again, this time with less gossip and more to give him the lowdown on everything that hadn't been in the books – and a few things that were – so that he wouldn't get into trouble when on a mission. Alex listened avidly. It was a lot to take in. It also explained a few things he had noticed here and there, and why some other things had happened in his past. When Smithers finally stopped talking, he was a bit dry and Alex was just sitting feeling stunned.

"Wow." Alex couldn't think of anything else to say to the almost information overload he'd just been subjected to. Smithers chuckled and let Alex think about everything again while he hauled himself to his feet. He came back a short time later with a full tea service and cleared his throat to get Alex's attention. Alex, seeing the tea service, nodded his acceptance. Smithers let the companionable silence continue as he puttered around making the two cups of tea. It was only when both cups were made and some biscuits set out that he broke it. "Well, I am sure a bright young man such as yourself has many questions. Ask away and I shall endeavor to answer as best I am able."

Alex helped himself to a couple of biscuits and doctored his tea to taste before he ventured his first question. "You said something about my dad and Ian never making use of your 'specials' as you called them, why? What are these 'specials' and why couldn't my dad and Ian use them? Would I be able to use them?"

Smithers' eyes lit up. He launched into another explanation; it seemed he just loved to explain the neat things he was able to manufacture with the aid of his two young twin cousins. Plus on the bonus side it allowed him to prove that magic was real to Alex as he demonstrated a few things that had been tucked up on the shelves of wonder. When he wound down, Alex was again hard pressed to find something to say. He was even harder pressed to thank the man as when he'd been demonstrating he had handed off a few of his extras to Alex saying that no doubt Alex would find a use for them.

Alex particularly liked the 'unlock anything and everything swiss army knife' and the 'bag of holding' that Smithers told him was a manufactured version of something called mokeskin bags. Both he was sure would come in very handy. He also had a feeling that the belt full of single dose potions would have him thanking whatever gods might be out there. With all the various healing potions it would at least keep him in more one piece than less, not something he was used to with the way his missions tended to go. It was the various one use powders that had him smirking rather evilly, he could easily picture pouring a small amount of the ever-itching powder onto Blunt's fancy schmancy chair and watching him suffer while he tried to debrief Alex about yet another unwanted mission.

Unfortunately Smithers seemed to read his mind and was quick to caution Alex. "Remember, you can't use or let on about any of this to Blunt and Jones, they aren't in the 'know' about anything magical. If they were to get wind of it through you it could get very bad."

Alex pouted but didn't get a chance to saying anything as Smithers' phone rang just then. Smithers answered it and Alex eavesdropped shamelessly. "Hello? Oh yes, he is here – did you want to speak with him? No? Just send him up. Alright then, goodbye."

Hanging up Smithers turned to see that Alex had already put everything into his new 'bag of holding' and was ready to go. "Ah, I see you figured out who that was. Seems they are ready for you now, or they were a while ago and couldn't find you, but that is beyond the point isn't it? I very much enjoyed our little chat Alex, and I hope we can find some more time to visit in the future, especially as I never did get around to finding out what you think would be useful for a teen agent, the whole magical world explanation took all our time. Not that that is a bad thing."

Alex cut him off, "Thanks, Smithers and yeah, we will have to get together again soon. Hopefully it won't be because of my going on a mission either." Alex hesitated for a breath and then asked in a rush, "Do you think we could do it not here?"

Smithers looked at his request first surprised and then pleased. "Oh, certainly. Here let me find one of my cards.." He started to rummage around the mass of paper on the table beside his desk. He straightened up with an "Aha!" when he found what he was looking for. Quickly scribbling on the back he handed the card to Alex. "I put my home number on the back, call anytime – for anything."

Alex was touched. He still couldn't get used to the idea that someone in the MI6 was concerned for him. All he said though was, "Thanks, Smithers! Now I better go before they send the SAS to find me. Bye!"

-end-