"You see the walls are cracked,
The pain is thin,
And you can't turn back, no
Once you've checked in.
The whole town laughing at the ringing of the bell.
You see everybody knows that love is a strange hotel."
– Darden Smith and Boo Hewerdine
The Avengers, and Thor, and all situations and characters thereof, belong strictly and solely to Marvel Comics. This is a fan-work, meant for enjoyment only, and not for any material profit.
It's a matter of planning: You build your towers big enough, you'll still have someplace to stay even after an alien invasion. Tony's staying in the floor where the executives used to be. You want to talk about a bunch of pussies: The damage is all to the top floor, but "Oh My God no, we can't work out of here, not until the whole building's been repaired!" And Pepper backs them up. She says it will hurt Stark Enterprise's standing on the big board. And god forbid we should do that, right? I mean who doesn't live and die over the ratings some number-crunchers might give your company?
So yeah. So the business division is all moved over to Stark-Virginia for the duration, and Tony's got the tower to himself. There's this Second Vice-President in Charge of Outsourcing (which by the way, sounds like a pretty damn redundant position, and he'll have to talk to Pep about outsourcing him) who's got a marble-lined shower and a King-sized bed in his office. That's where Tony's staying. Basically camping out, in other words. A couple of the Avengers have stuck around too. Steve's down the hall next to the weight-room, because he wants to be sure Manhattan gets fixed alright. And Bruce is there because...
Well, Bruce is there because Tony wants him there. He didn't put it that way of course. He was all "Ohhh, there's so much suffering here, Bruce," and "ohhh, let's go explore the lab, Bruce," and like that, but that's just because the guy likes to run. You can't really blame him. He's used to having half the military on his ass all the time, trying to get at the Hulk. If they're not trying to kill him, they're trying to experiment on him. Seems they can't decide if one giant green rage-monster is too many, or if they want an army of them. ...So yeah, so the guy's got some serious trust-issues. Tony's just barely talked him around to getting used to the idea that they're friends now. He hasn't brought up yet, that he wants to be more than that.
It's because he likes fixing things, probably: Broken machines, broken code sequences: He looks at them, and it's the potential he sees, and then after that, he starts thinking what he'll need to do to make them work right again. Bruce is chock-full of potential. There's that genius-brain of his, and the way the physics-knowledge connects up with Tony's tech-knowledge so they're like two parts of a perfect whole. ...Oh, and there's the way he smiles sometimes (not nearly often enough) and his brown eyes light up. And the way that one lock of hair's always falling across his face, so all Tony wants to do is get close enough to push it away. – Okay, so that's not all he wants to do if he gets close enough...
The main room for their little temporary living-space used to be the office for the Accounting Department. Tony's had all the cubicles and shit moved out. He's re-furnished the place with the furniture from upstairs, which makes it ...almost cozy (only there's no windows, because it's in the middle of the building).
Bruce insisted he only needed this little Secretary-office down from the bathroom, but Tony talked him into taking a corner office where yet another Vice-President used to be. That's where they are when Thor shows up. Bruce is just buttoning his shirt after a shower, and Tony's having filthy, filthy ideas about unbuttoning it again sitting on the bed drinking coffee, while Steve makes breakfast for them all in the kitchen.
"Good morrow Friend Bruce! – And Friend Tony, you are here too!" Thor's voice basically echoes off the walls. It's way too early for a voice like that. It's also too early for people to be appearing in the middle of the room in a crack of thunder.
"Yeah I'm here, Thor." Tony takes a sip from his cup. Then he takes a gulp. Caffeine helps when you're dealing with Asgardians. "Just little old me here in Bruce's bed, like the Big Bad Wolf in Red Riding Hood."
"Wolves?" A confused look from everyone's favorite Warrior-God. "They trouble you in Manhattan? On Asgard they do not enter the cities."
"It's from a story." Bruce adjusts the cuffs on the shirt (that Tony's still trying to get him to replace with something not from Mervyns). He rolls his eyes. "Tony thinks it's funny: Oh Grandma, what a big pe..."
Somehow coming from him, it doesn't sound like the best come-on in the world. "Yeah yeah, exactly. Right," he interrupts before Bruce can tell Thor all his pick-up lines. "I keep trying, and Bruce keeps turning me down." – Am impatient snort. Bruce, meanwhile, loading his pockets with keys, coins, and probably the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. Getting him to think about how he looks: Impossible! – "I'm gonna win though. It's just a matter of time."
"Indeed." Thor sounds mystified. "I am very sure my friend Tony will prevail in whatever endeavors he pursues. But it was not of wolves and grandmothers that I wished to speak..."
"And it was not in my bedroom that I wanted to speak." Is that the stink-eye Bruce is giving him? Ouch. "So if certain people will get off my bed..." He's out the door and leading the way to the kitchen. "We can talk while we have breakfast. – Good morning, Captain." Steve gets a smile that's completely relaxed and open (unlike the ones Bruce has been giving Tony).
And Tony's reduced to following behind and protesting. ...And maybe pouting a little. "No fair, Bruce. How come you're always nice to him and not me?"
"Because I know the meaning of 'personal space'." Cap shoves a plate heaped with pancakes into each of their hands. "And because I do the cooking around here. Everyone's nice to the cook." He looks up at Thor in the doorway. "Good morning, Thor. I don't think I made enough pancakes for you."
"That is all right Friend Steve, because I did not come here to eat." Thor makes no protest as Steve shoves the last plate of pancakes into his hand regardless. "I came because I have a boon to request of Tony." Thor also makes no protest as Tony pours coffee for him: Three spoonsful of sugar, and fill the cup halfway with cream. Asgardians don't like coffee, they just like their dessert coffee-flavored.
Tony takes a spot at the table. He grabs the maple syrup and drenches his plate (because billionaire playboys like their dessert pancake-flavored). "So Thor, what's this 'boon' you want?"
The big guy looks at him. Then he looks down at his plate. "Well it has to do with my brother." The words crawl out, like Thor's afraid to say them.
And by rights he should be. "Loki? Seriously?"
"You're joking, right Thor?" Steve gives him a look.
"What's the boon?" As for Bruce, he looks nervous, like he's thinking about the last time he saw Loki. ...Or rather, the last time Hulk saw him.
"My brother has expressed a desire to assist in repair of the damage he caused here." Thor looks down at his plate. He mumbles so for once, you can barely hear him. "I ...er, Father has sent him with me. He awaits only your approval ere he enters."
Their approval. Ri-iii-iii-iight. Steve looks at Bruce, and then Bruce looks at Tony. And then they all glare at the Asgardian, who apparently can't see why someone wouldn't want his mass-murdering war-criminal brother around the house.
"Pray do not refuse too quickly."
Oh, they'll refuse, all right!
"My brother means only to help."
And Tony believes that like he believes that Disney's going to buy rights to the Avengers.
"We have taken precautions to ensure he does no harm."
"What is that?" All of a sudden Steve's expression changes, like he's... Like he's actually considering the idea for a change. Oh crap. "What kind of precautions?"
"Steve, you can't be serious."
Bruce doesn't say anything. He just rubs his nose and picks at the sleeve of his shirt.
"Friend Steven, you are a comrade indeed!" It's only the pancakes that keep Thor in his seat, instead of up and across the room hugging Steve tight. "You will not regret this, I assure you."
Yeah. Right.
"Father has had bracelets crafted. They block Loki's ability to do magic, and they can be removed by All-Father only. – I believe my brother to be truly sincere," he says, with that wonderful Asgardian innocence of his, "else why would he agree to wear them?"
"Well it could be because he doesn't like the alternatives." Now that it's about logic, Bruce joins in. "What happens to him if he stays on Asgard, Thor?"
"Oh, then he must do hard labor on the Bifröst." For once, Thor's voice is grim. "Do not think we ignore what Loki has done, my friends. He must serve fit punishment wherever he is."
"So in other words, it's hard labor here, or it's hard labor there." Steve's nod is thoughtful.
"Only this way we actually get to see him working his ass off." Bruce is actually grinning a little bit. Holy crap, have the whole bunch of them gone crazy?
"My tower, my rules." Tony interrupts because he's got to, before every super-villain in the Universe gets parked here. The next thing you know, he's going to be bellying up for breakfast alongside Dr. Doom and the Red Skull. "No Reindeer Games. No super-villains period, not now, not ever. – Sorry, Thor."
"No, but don't you see? This could work, Tony." That's enthusiasm he sees on Bruce's face, isn't it? Dammit to fuckin' hell... "Steve will make sure he actually works, – Won't you, Cap? – and we've got JARVIS here to keep him from escaping and causing more damage. Wouldn't you like to see Loki do an honest day's work for once?"
Well, when you put it that way... – When Bruce puts it that way...
"It's not our decision to make." He's grasping at straws here, and he knows it. But dammit, who gets their house destroyed, and then they turn around and invite the guy who did it to come stay awhile? "We're going to have to run this by Fury."
"SHIELD. Really." A snort from Steve. "Aren't you the one who says they don't run your life? That you're a – What is it... – A 'free agent'?"
"Dammit Steve, you don't seriously want him here? Remember how he tried to turn us all against each other when he was here before? – Bruce, don't you remember the things he said about you?"
"I do." Bruce's grin turns positively predatory. There's more Hulk in him than he likes to think. "That's what I like about this: The Other Guy got his revenge when Loki was here before. Now it's my turn."
Tony huffs an irritated breath. He knows when he's lost. "Okay, fine. But only because you asked so nice. – Bruce, what'll you give me to say thank-you'?"
"Well I promise not to Hulk out and destroy the rest of your tower. – Today anyway." A soft laugh destroys all the rest of Tony's objections. Dammit, Bruce is actually having fun with this.
"If Fury finds out, he'll sic the entire SHIELD force on us." It's a weak protest, just a grumble really. Tony huffs another sigh. "Okay Thor, bring on Reindeer Games. – You'll make more pancakes for him, won't you Cap?"
"Yeah, so he can turn up his nose and call them 'pathetic mortal food' or something." Steve laughs. – Christ, all his friends are fuckin' nuts this morning! They don't seem to get how toxic Loki's going to be, magic or no magic. "Sure," he says. "I'll make 'em."
"And I will summon my brother." Thor's got tears in his eyes. – Actual tears! – "Thank you my friends," he says. "You do not know how much it means, that you are willing to give my brother this chance."
A moment later, – No clap of thunder or anything. – and Loki stands there. He looks ...just as evil as he ever did. No scratch that, Tony thinks: He looks ever so slightly less evil. He's still got that drowned cat look, like he hasn't eaten or gotten a decent night's sleep in a year, but there was a crazy glint in his eyes before, like wherever he looked, he just saw targets for attack. That's not there now. Instead, he just looks sulky, like a little brother who doesn't want his big brother watching while he gets in trouble. Which is pretty much what he is, isn't it?
"Are you reduced to this part of your tower then, Mr. Stark?" A snide look comes over Loki's face as he surveys the room. "Do tell me you are afraid I will throw you from the window again if we are upstairs?"
Some people can pull off a stern expression. Thor's not one of them. He just looks sad, and a little disappointed. "The damage you caused to the penthouse has yet to be repaired," he says.
A quick flash of something – Shame? Embarrassment? – goes across Loki's face. Then his same old snooty expression is back. "You may leave, Thunderer. There is no need for you to be here."
"On the contrary, there is every need." Now the Captain on the other hand... Stern fits him like a glove. They must have been better at those things in his day. "We invited Thor to stay for breakfast. We're his friends. You can have some breakfast too, if you want it."
"I don't need your pathetic mortal food." Loki snorts (and Tony would totally want to high-five Cap for nailing him so perfectly, only what are you going to do? He's on the other side of the kitchen). "Do I look hungry to you?"
Well yeah, actually he does...
"Aren't you an ungrateful little brat though?" Stern-Cap is kind of awesome. He completely ignores every word Loki says, and just slams a plate onto the table and says, "sit."
Evil look from Loki's green eyes, and the usual snooty snort. "Like I am a dog!" He sits though, and starts hacking away at the pancakes like he's got a personal grudge against them. "Mother's are better," he says, but only after he's finished the whole plateful. And while he's holding out his empty plate for more.
"Brother..." That's Thor's warning-voice. Poor guy, how long's it going to take for him to realize he's not going to make a human being out of his brother no matter how many warnings he gives him? Some people are just assholes. ...Of course that's what everyone's always said about him too... As soon as he thinks it, Tony pushes the thought away. He is not going to start feeling sorry for Thor's war-criminal brother!
"No more pancakes for bad little Asgardians, unless they say please," Steve carols out. "Now Loki, would you like to try that again?"
The mutters from his new green-eyed guest tell Tony exactly where Steve can stick his please-es. And how. He can't help a snicker. "I don't even think that's possible, Reindeer Games."
Nasty Loki-smile. "It would be without the bracelets." He turns back to the Captain. "Yes, please, Mr. Rogers sir, I will have more of your deliciouspancakes." Then back to Thor: "Does that please you, Thunderer? You may report back to Odin that I am behaving appropriately."
"Here you are." Cap's got the plate all ready for him. "And would you like some coffee too? – Oh, and Mr. Rogers is my dad's name. I answer to Steve."
"...Or Cap. Or 'hey you, old guy!'" Tony pours a cup of coffee (even though he's not sure Loki needs to be any more wired). "Your brother puts cream and sugar in his," he says, handing it over.
"Oh really?" The snooty tone's still there, but it looks like Loki's relaxed a little. Tony's not sure why he cares, – There's a reason people don't take in super-villains like they're puppies: Just when you start getting used to them, they go hatching evil plans, and you have to kick their asses all over again. – but he does ….sort of. "That is how my so-called brother likes his 'coffee'? Is there another way to drink it?"
From Bruce: "Black." He catches Tony's eye and grins, and dammit, but Hulk's Other Guy's got some evil thoughts in him. He's starting his revenge right off. "And as hot as you can get it."
Loki drinks. He spits the coffee right back out again in a sort of mini-explosion and then glares daggers at Bruce, who is meanwhile, laughing like hell. Then he takes another drink. His comment is, "your mortal 'coffee' is quite good," but his eyes say, you can't best me this easily, Midgardians.
Yeah, life just got a whole lot more complicated.