This will probably only be two chapters. But please enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own The Joker (no matter how much I wish I did!) or any of the other Batman characters.
Why did he always end up back here? He had no idea.
'Arkham. Dear Arkham, I'm back have you missed me? Well, I haven't missed you. Nosiree! I would rather be in any other place then here. You think I'm joking? Well I'm not. Pick a place, any place, and I can assure you that it is better then here.' he thought. A slight giggle escaped his red lips and he grins to himself as he digs with one of his toes into the soft matt dressed floor.
Well, this time he knew why he was here, Harley. They had been running to get away after pulling a spectacular prank on Ghotham. It had featured frogs, laughing gas, poisonous feathers and acid. He laughed at the memory. But of course the Bat had swooped in and just as they were running for their freedom Harley had tripped! Can you believe it? The wench is a god damn acrobat with an amazing balance and she falls over at a time like that. He could have left her there and kept on running. Well, could have, would have, should have, right? She was really getting to him, his little harlequin. He didn't know why but his body had moved on his own. He didn't realize what he was doing 'till he was picking her up of the ground, she, looking as flabbergasted as he did. That's when Batsy gave him a kick to the head and hand cuffed both Harley and the Clown Prince of Crime. Just because he 'saved' her didn't mean that he wouldn't give her a whooping next time they meet.
The Joker scratched his back since there was not much more he could do with his hands when he was wearing a straight jacket. He hated that thing.
"Well, it's a good thing I'm wearing it if I suddenly get a weird craving for hugs." He laughed even though no-one was there to hear the jokes he had to tell. While humming a tune the Joker smiled into the empty room. He was banging his head into the wall but since they were so soft it didn't make the satisfying sound he was looking for. He sang in rhythm to the soft thuds.
"'Cause I'm a picker! I'm a grinner! I'm a lover! And I'm a sinner! I'm playing my music in the sun.
'Cause I'm a Joker! I'm a smoker! I'm a midnight toker! I sure don't want to hurt no one!HAhahahehihihihee..!" The Joker couldn't help but to laugh at that last line.
It was too ironic.
Suddenly the door opened and two gorilla-looking security guards came in welding batongs. They were, as always when people came into his cell, shifting nervously. And of course trying but failing to not look as uncomfortable as they in fact were. He continued to hum and nailed then with an unpleasant smile. "Gentlemen! How nice to see you! Now, what brings you to my humble room?"
The slightly bigger one pushed at the other and gave him a brisk nod that said "You gotta talk to him or I'm gonna kick your ass later, gettit?" He took a tiny step forward and cleared his throat before speaking up.
"Joker, th' man upstairs feel tha' you've been in solitary long enough now. Ya can ether come to ya cell or go to the common room right now. So..." shuffle shuffle "whatcha wanna do?"
The clown prince leered at them before pushing himself up against the wall, slowly standing up. This is a very difficult art that he had mastered. Since he often found himself in a straight jacket it seemed like a good thing to do. After struggling for a few moments he turned his attention back to the apes at the door. "Well, the thing I'd wanna do is to inject you with Joker toxin and then cut of your smiling head and put it on my wall but I don't think I'll be able to do that with my hands tied back like this. I mean by golly, I may be a man of many talents but that is taking it too far. I might be able to bite your arm of but all that blood would take ages to clean off. And red is so not my color. Of course I could always kill a king and mix his blood to make purple. But I think this sounds like more trouble then it's worth so I'm gonna go to the common room if, I may." The two men just stood there blinking for a moment, not having fully taken in the Jokers ranting. And then uncertainly "Uh... Sure."
They took of his jacket and cautiously and told him to face the wall. The clown rolled on the balls of his feet and smiled to the wall. 'Hello wall, how are you today?' he asked the wall in his head. 'Why I'm fine Mr. Joker thank you for asking.' the Joker answered in the wall's place with a high pitched voice in his mind. 'But I'm sure gonna miss your company while you're gone.' He shook his head reassuringly. 'Now don't you worry Mr. Wall, I'll be back before you know it. I'm a complete loony, remember?' The Joker laughed crazily which caused the guards to flinch for a moment taking their batongs out. The Joker noticed this.
"Oh don't mind me, I'm just amusing my self. So are we going soon or what?" The two men gave each other a look before grabbing an arm each and steering the Joker down the hall.
Once arriving in the common room the guards let him go and positioned them selfs by the other guards by the door. The Joker made a big gesture of dusting of his clothes as if the guards were something big and disgusting. Well they were but still. The Riddler, or Edward Nygma as it is, came over to him and gave him a polite nod. "Joker." He stated and gave what could be called a very small smile. The clown turned to him and broke in to a big characteristic grin and acted as though they were childhood friend who had not met in years. "Eddie! Hello! How are you old fellow?"
"I'm quite alright. Well, how fine can you be if you're stuck in this place?" Edward said and glanced around the room. Joker made a face as if he was trying very hard to remember something. "Is that a riddle?" He said before breaking out in laughter. "No, you're not wrong about that! Everyone here is a mad man, right?"
The Riddler smirked and said; "You want to hear something that's mad? The one that guards the fields of england from the vermin of the sky is right now present in the trash can of the off and the square of the normal. See? I gave you an easy one." The Joker taped his foot and furrowed his brow for a moment and then suddenly his mouth hung open and he blinked in disbelief. "You're joking? The scarecrow is in the common room? Where?" The clown man could not see him when he looked around the room.
The Riddler leaned on one leg and looked into a strangely dark corner of the room where a dark silhouette could be seen. "He paid one of the guards so that they would turn off the light bulbs over there. One could have see him when he came in though."
The Joker gave him a calculating look. "So you've seen him in the light then? Well. Riddle me this," Edward met the green eyes with anticipation, "riddle me that. What does Scarecrow look like without the hat?"
Nygmas eyes widened and there was a slight downward twitch in the corners of his mouth.
"I'm very much ashamed to admit that this is a question to be answered an other day. You see, he still has the hat. And the noose."
The Jokers face fell in disappointment. "What? But that's unfair? Why didn't they take it? And why don't they just cut off the noose? Snip snip?"
Edward laughed. "I don't know about the hat but apparently the noose is like a part of him. Cutting it off would be like them dying your hair and putting make-up on your skin to make you look less dead! They can't do that." The pale man nodded but still gave the Riddler a nasty glare for the insult.
"Now then. I am not chit-chatting with you just for the fun of it. I'm supposed to inform you that Scarecrow has something important to talk to you about. As you know I am not one to normally run errands but I made an exception because I get the feeling that I don't want to miss this. I have premition to listen if I don't make a sound." The Ace of knaves got a curious glint in his eyes and grinned madly.
"Well what are we waiting for?" He cried and gestured for the Riddler to follow him into the dark corner across the room.
The clown whistled "We're of to see the wizard." as they went. Scarecrow was sitting by a table in the shadows. "Gentlemen, have a seat." He said in his, though Joker hated to admit it, scary whisper. "Don't mind if I do." Joker said with a laugh as he leaped up and sat on the table with his ankles crossed, he looked like a little kid. Edward sat on the other hand sat like a civilized person on one of the chairs. "I hear from Eddy-boy that you have something you want to tell me. So what's up doc?" The scarecrows silhouette moved to look at the man on the table. There was a second of silence before he spoke.
"Last time I was out of this place I had an encounter with the dark knight. Since I'm sitting here now it's not too hard to picture how it turned out." Joker stifled a laugh. "Johnny, we're all here because of the bat. Is that all? The story of how you got caught once? Then this is time wasted, I could be driving that new guard insane instead of sitting here!"
"Trust me. This is not a waste of your time..." The determined tone he used made the Joker stop his attempt to get up. "Oh really? Well tell me what you got then?" He said as he sat back down.
"When he came to the bank that I was robbing he inhaled a few lungs full of my new fear toxin. It is very powerful and keeps the victim in his worst nightmare for a long time. That is why I got caught. My curiosity made me stay when I should have left. But even though I ended up in here I think it was worth it." Both of the listeners leaned in to hear the whisper better. "Crane." Joker said, without a hint of a laugh. "Why was it worth it?" He had a pretty good idea but he wanted to hear him say it. Scarecrow laughed softly for a moment before looking straight into the clown's eyes. "You see, I found out the batman's biggest fear."
What do you think? What could it be? Who's deciding this thing?! ...Right, that would be me. Back to writing.
R&R please!