Disclaimer: If we owned this series, the upcoming pairings would be canon, or at least really heavily hinted at.

Warnings: Shonen-Ai, Crack-fic

Plotless-ness ensues (so if you were looking for something with a point, go back now):


Long, long ago(not really) in a far, far away land(Japan) there lived a tennis team and their stoic captain. This team, were bound by feelings of friendship, love and devotion to each other and the team.

"Hey, Ryoma, want to go get a burger with us?"

"...No."

"We're paying!"

"...Fine."

Anyways, this team bound by love, devotion and burgers--I mean friendship were very competitive. So competitive that the captains of the various other teams did not like each other and did not associate with each other unless to compete.

"No we won the dance off!" ("Too close, too close, too close...")

"No we won the dance off!" ("Too close, too close, too close...")

"No we won the dance off!" ("Too close, too close, too close...")

"No we won the dance off!" ("Too close, too close, too close...") *

One day, the younger sister of the stoic captain, who we shall now name Tezuka Kunimitsu, flew in on the wings of a majestic bird powered by an engine. This great bird was named plane, and had a pilot named Heero** (but that's another story). This girl was 5"1 with brown hair and brown eyes. Her name was Tezuka Kuniko. Her purpose in this story is to play matchmaker-- I mean, visit her older brother who she misses terribly. She missed him so much that she decided to visit him and his prospective boyfriends--I mean, sell baby pictures to fan-girls-- I mean, to hug him one more time before-- oh never mind. Suffice to say she was going to visit and chaos would ensue.

One fine afternoon at Seigaku the regulars were hard at work. The captain was standing off to the side and watching a match between the freshmen regular Echizen Ryoma and the tensai Fuji Syusuke. Ten minutes into the game a small figure ran into the courts, snuck around the unsuspecting captain and team-mates, and tackled the poor captain to the ground, cackling madly as she did so and yelling, "I have you now!***" Now anyone would automatically assume this was a crazed fan-girl, but in reality she was just a crazed sister.

"I shouldn't have let my guard down." Tezuka said, stoic as ever, if a bit muffled from being pushed face-down by the crushing weight of his sister.

"That was an eight..eight point five... or a nine... not over a nine point eight, because there is always room for improvement. Not everyone's fall is perfect like mine. That's why I'm holding out for the perfect glomp... because I'm worth it."**** She declared happily.

"Mada mada dane."***** Everyone stared at Ryoma. "What?...I was the world champion at glomping when I was five, okay?!" he snapped defensively when they looked at him like he was crazy.

"Oh-em-gee! That was you?! You are my greatest hero! I'm your biggest fan!" Ryoma smirked.

Tezuka, still being pushed into the tennis courts which were becoming very uncomfortable, said "marfle-mmmfley muffrely marfffliliyu." (Which translates roughly to 'get off of me'). Kuniko, having a lot of practice at deciphering glomp-muffled speech, complied.

"Hi, I'm Tezuka Kuniko! Nice to meet you. Please be kind!" she said, her bow hiding her smirk.


*This is a reference to the Prince of Tennis musical

**Neither of us have ever actually read the series this is from...

***This is from a movie, but we don't remember which

****This is from A Very Potter Musical (which we highly recommend you ignore first impressions and watch. It's brilliantly hilarious in a stupid way)

*****If you don't know what it means after watching the series, you are reading the wrong fan-fiction.

AN: We are eventually planning a rather long line of Astrix, because we don't fell like using numbers or other signs. If you can let us know what movie ** is from, it would be much appreciated.