The Death of an Angel
A/N: Ok. So you may love this story, you may hate this story, but it is an awesome story. This is the tale of Collins (Angel's Lover) and his new perspective of life now that Angel is gone (sad but true). It is a heart-wrenching story of love, heartbreak, and friends and how life goes on, but also about those who can't move on. And also about those who find peace in the end. Will contain some content, but I'll warn you first.
Like I will right now: Warning- Language, emotional torment (both for you and poor Collins. Sorry Collins) Also it may be a little confusing but hear me out: ok when Collins refers to Angel it will always be a "her or she". But from any other angle it will be either "he or she" depending on whether he is in drag. Drag refers to any overly feminine thing he has on example( regular clothes= he; nail polish, wig, tights, etc.=she) ok got it? Well if you don't then you'll see when you read this.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Rent nor any of the characters of RENT. I only own my imagination which isn't much in this first Chapter. RIP Jonathan Larson and thanks for making Rent. I thank those who had a part in making Rent.
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Chapter 1: Sickness
I wake to a chilled trembling Latino body next to me. My bed, considering its quite warm with my body next to his caramel skin, I was alarmed. I sit up on my arm and cuddle his, pulling the covers closer to his body, I wake her gently, praying he's not under attack again. "…Ang? Angel baby, please wake up." I shake him gently, as to not hurt his frail, trembling body. "Angel, please baby, please babygirl wake up." I cuddle him closer, as his eyes flutter open. "Ang! God, baby, what's wrong? Babe please!" She looks to me, and says "It's nothing Tom, I'm just a little cold that's all. Let me just rest, kay?" I knew Angel was just lying, there was no way he was just cold. I put my hand to his delicate forehead. "Angel, don't lie to me. You have a fever. Let me go get the Tylenol." I hurry out the bed, pulling on my pajama pants that were laying on the floor. I rush down the hall to the bathroom quickly, looking out in the medicine cabinet. I locate the Tylenol and rush to the kitchen of my one floor apartment flat. I fill a cup with water and rush back to Angel, who was curled up in the covers shivering. I ran back to the bed, careful not to slosh the water. I sat on the bed gently, setting the medicine and the water on the bed side table. I gently grab Angel and pull him to my lap in a fetal position to give him his medicine. I rock him gently, trying desperately to soothe the shaking of his body. "Shhhh, babe, come on, not again, come on…" My eyes started to water, and I felt a salty tear slide down my cheek. I cooed him, and put my fingers through his cropped brown curly hair . I give him his medicine. The cherry flavored medicine slides down Angel's throat, and I give him his mug.
He takes it into his trembling hand and looking up to my and smiles. He takes a gulp. " Thanks Coll… I love you" he says weakly. "I love you too Ang." I reply looking down at my joy. A loud beep fills the room. "AZT Break" Angel said. I turned off the beeper and handed him his pill, placing it delicately on his tongue. He swallows it with another swig of water before replying he's tired.
"I know you are babygirl" I cooed softly. I lay him there in my arms holding him and cradling him in my arms until he falls asleep with a light snore. I slip out from under him, careful not to jostle, and shower quickly, letting the water rinse away Angel's sweat that had accumulated on my body. I change into a plaid red shirt and vest with black jeans. I get a washcloth and dampen it with cool water and wipe down Angels' feverish pale lean caramel chest to cool him down. I pick up the phone and dial someone familiar. With the third ring someone picks up. "Hey Mimi, this is Collins. What are you doing right now?" I try to keep my voice under control, and try to stop from being on the verge of tears again. "Uhhhh. Nothing right now just hanging with Mark and Roger. We are just in the park letting Mark film some stuff on homeless sleeping in the park. Why? And yeah, you and Angel were supposed to meet us an hour ago for the filming. It's two in the afternoon." Mimi sounded concerned and a little annoyed too.
"Can… can you guys just come over like right now? Angel's sick and… and I just need some help. She's acting like it's all right but I know what wrong. Can you guys just come over? Please?" There was a pause on the phone. "Mimi, are you still ther-" "Oh my God! What's wrong with her? Okay, Okay we are on our way." The phone clicked and the line went dead. Collins dressed Angel in what he could easily coordinate; he wasn't good when it came to drag, and put Angel in a simple tan tee-shirt and jeans. Angel was barely conscious in his arms due to the Tylenol and he waited for his friends to come, cradling him in his arms.
(Mimi's Perspective)
I clicked off the phone, sat up and gathered my things hurriedly. "Mimi, who's that? Hey why are you leaving?" inquired Mark. Roger was obviously not paying attention, spinning a guitar pick between his fingers. They had been sitting on a bench in the park, letting Mark film people for his project. Roger finally looked up and said "Yeah Meems? You leaving?" Things hadn't been going so well between me and Roger, but he was trying. "Oh. Well I guess I should tell you. Mark, put up your equipment." Mark didn't even argue, knowing it must be bad if it interfered with his filming.
"Angel's sick, and not like the flu sick guys. Collins is worried outta his mind and sounded like he was going to break down and cry, even though I could tell he was trying to sound strong. He sounded desperate. He needs us. He wants us to go over to his flat," I said, looking at the two boys. "Come on, we gotta go, and like right now."
Mark disassembled his tripod and put it in its case and slung it over his shoulder. He grabbed his camera, shutting it off. They all hurried out the park and ran the last four blocks where Collins apartment was located.
We reached his flat, sliding his door open, without bothering to knock; this was way too important to be polite. We stepped inside, Mark huffing from running while carrying a fifteen pound tripod on his back. Roger barged in and yelled, "What happ-" but was cut off by Maureen and Joanne simultaneously "Shhhhh!" Mark slid the door closed and set his tripod in the corner by the stool. I walked up behind the sofa, where Angel and Collins was, with Angel resting on Collins chest, Collins' arm around him protectively. Maureen was sitting on the arm of the sofa, softly rubbing Collins leg for comfort. "We got here ten minutes ago," whispered Joanne, still in her suit.
"I don't… I don't know what to do…" Collins murmured gently rocking the barely awake Angel in his arms. "Hey Mimi, hey Roger, hey Marky" Angel whispered before going back to sleep. Collins hugged him tightly, burying his face in the crook of Angel's tilted head and neck and kissed his tenderly. He looked up at me, then Roger and Mark, who was pulling out a chair from the dining table and sitting in front of Collins. I was instantly filled with sympathy. His eyes held a mix of something like desperation, hurt, and fear. "Angel's sick, she's even too sick to walk by herself. She's had attacks before… but it wasn't nearly this bad. It's like a total transformation. Just yesterday she was her regular self, laughing, dancing, drumming… Collins voice cracked and put his head back into the crook of Angel's neck.
"Maybe you should take him to the hospital, see what's going on," Mark suggested. "I can get Benny to pick up you and Angel." I suggested. "Oh God, not Benny, do not bring Benny into this!" Roger said exasperated. He turned away from Mimi to walk over to the other side of the room, pitching himself against the wall. "Well at least he has a car! He can get them to the hospital faster! It's just not safe for them to go by train!" I yelled. " He hates us! He kicked us out, got us evicted! Not to mention what happened at Maureen's protest! Don't you remember what he tried to do! What he tried to do to all those people in tent city?" Roger yelled. Joanne tried to calm Roger down but to no avail, Roger just liste-" Joanne tried to say but was cut off by Roger. "All you care about is that money and that smack!" he yelled, walking out the room sliding open the door. He walked out, his golden locks following him. "Roger baby, come back! Roger!" Maureen yells after him, walking out after him desperate to bring him back.
"Please…" Collins mumbled. Everyone left in the room just looked at him from the shock of such a soft voice compared to the yelling and screaming they heard a minute before. Collins tightened his grip on his lover. Angel, surprisingly although sick, did not budge during the whole argument. Everybody looked at the distraught anarchist African-American. "Please… just stop! I asked you guys to come here to help me and support Angel and me, not to argue and fight. We need to stick together, for Angel. We need you right now and I don't need this right now." A tear rolled down Collins cheek and dropped and soaked into Angel's tan tee-shirt. "I'll take her. We'll go by train. The ride isn't long and the station stops right in front of the hospital." He gently placed Angel on the sofa, now shivering again. He packed a few necessities. He came back five minutes later with his trench coat on and Angel's red jacket. He slipped Angel's arm in the jacket and zipped it up. He carried Angel's small tan leather bag, the one filled with necessities and slung it over his shoulder. He put his beanie on, and wiped his cheek, getting rid of the tear stain on his cheek. He picked up Angel easily with his brawn muscles, and left with Angel, carrying him bridal-style leaving Mark, Joanne, and Mimi alone in his apartment.
(back to Collins Perspective)
I hug Angel close to me on my lap on the train. I grimace with pain and anguish as I feel her body being racked with wave after wave of shivers, chills, and fever. I get my washcloth I brought and dabbed her face. I wipe away the beads of sweat accumulating on her fore head. I hold her tighter, afraid of her slipping out my grasp.
Two Days Later
I wake from the rapping on the door. I get up, cracking my back in several places from when I had slept on the chair in Angel's hospital room. I saw that Angel was awake eating lunch, and I smiled at her. I open the door, and smile when I see everybody here. I let them in the room yelling to Angel, " Ang! They are back! And the brought you something!" "Well let them in Collins!" he called back cheerful that he got to see his friends. Maureen came in first, holding get well soon balloons, Mimi holding a bag of make up and nail polish. Joanne and Roger came in with teddy bears, Roger holding one that was about the size of a guitar. Mark came in last and handed me something. It was a brown paper bag. " Here, it's a salad and a pasta with meatless balls from the Life Café. I know you don't eat meat so… yeah. And you haven't left this room in two days Collins, you need to change. Get some sleep, real sleep. You can't sleep on that plastic chair forever. How's Angel?" I sigh. I set the bag of food down on the rolling table next to me. " Come here." I grabbed Mark's hand and let him out the room. I let go his hand and we kept walking down to the floor lobby, where I plopped down and laid on one of the comfortable loveseats out there.
I looked up at Mark and he took the hint and sat down across from me. "Okay, what's wrong with Angel?" Mark said, now with a lot more concern. I sit up, and sigh, a lump forming in my throat. My eyes welled up as I said, "Angel's got AIDS, Mark. He's… He's not gonna last much longer. The doctor said he doesn't have much time left. A month at the most." My voiced cracked, and tears came rolling down my face. I bent my head to hide my face and put my hands to my face.
"Fuck it, why? Why dammit! Why her of all people? Mark, why would something as horrible as AIDS go to the most innocent, most loving of a person as Angel?" I wept openly. " Only reason I lead you out here was so Angel couldn't see me like this. I supposed to be strong for her. But I can't stand this. It's too much. Tell the others, but only out of Angel's sight. She doesn't want sympathy, or pity, or remorse. She just acts like it ok, like its ok for this to happen to her. It's not!" I wept openly, now not caring who saw.
I looked up when I felt a hand on my back. It was Mark, as I thought. " Heh, thanks man." I got up and he hugged me thumping me on the back. I returned the hug. The strawberry- blonde just smiled, "It's gonna be all right." I wiped my tears, and smiled. "Yeah, it'll be ok. Come on Angel's probably wondering where we are." I slung my arm around Mark and we walked back to Angel's room.
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A/N: Yay *sniffle* just got done with chapter 1. 14 to go! Yay! I just started today, and I finished chapter 1 in 1 day. Do think I'll be able to finish this fanfic in 15 days? Naw, probably not, but I'll make it a goal!
Luvs ya and review pweese! It makes me happy.