Warnings: creepiness! Swearing, little bit of violence.
Disclaimer: Nope, I do not own them.
A/N: I really don't know if I should think of being bored as a good thing or a bad thing!
I've been stalking the kink meme for the past few days just looking for something I like and well, fill it! Addiction?
Jim Moriarty is a busy man. He doesn't have time to remember every single person he killed, skinned or made into shoes. So, when a woman came to him yelling his name. It was a normal reaction to not know who the hell is she. He kept walking and ignoring her.
"Jim Moriarty." She yelled again.
Jim sighed, he really doesn't have a time for this. But she sounds persistence, maybe she'll be interesting. He turned around to see a very angry woman walking towards him.
"Yes," not bothering to hid his boredom. "What is it?"
She stopped in front of him with her mouth open. Jim wasn't impressed.
"You have no idea who I am."
"No." He looked her up and down, but still the answer was a no.
"I can't believe this. I followed you all around the world to kill you, and you don't even remember me!" She was yelling at him now. Jim doesn't like it when people yell, it attracts attention of nosy and annoying people.
"Well, I can't keep track of all the people I killed, hurt or destroyed over the years. Ms.?"
"Paterson. Ms. Paterson. And I have a gun" She replied.
Jim closed his eyes trying to think hard. Nothing, he can't remember the name at all. He opened his eyes to find her glaring at him. He really doesn't have the time for this.
"How about I call my assistant/assassin/lover to see if he can find out who you are?"
Paterson didn't look convinced, but like everyone else, she accepted Jim's offer. They sat down in a coffee shop that was conveniently close to where they stood.
When Jim reached to his jacket pocket, Paterson flashed her gun at him. He rolled his eyes.
"Do you really think if I wanted to kill you, you'd still be here?"
She frowned at him lowering her gun. "Perhaps."
"I never play when it comes to death. Except with my current obsession. One Sherlock Holmes who I find to be very appealing to play with!" Jim had a dreamy look on his face that made Paterson shiver.
"Alright then, tell me what did I do to make you want to kill me?" He said holding his mobile and typing.
"You killed my partner."
"Ah, a police woman. I love killing those."
Paterson flashed her gun again, but this time taking the safety off. Jim didn't notice.
"Details?"
"You strapped a bomb to her chest and blow her and her entire house to the ground."
"That's my signature. Remind me, why didn't I kill you too?"
She shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "I didn't fit into your bomb vest."
"I see, I see."
"So, where is your assistant?"
"He's coming." As soon as Jim said those words, Sebastian Moran appeared.
"Ah, Moran meet ." Seb nodded politely at her then looked back at Jim.
"What's so important it couldn't wait until I am done practicing my shooting on living people?"
" here says I should know her because I killed her partner and almost blew her off the face of the Earth. would you look into it and get back to me?" Jim used his rare puppy eyes at Seb who can't refuse any request when he is under their spell.
"I have my laptop here. Give me a minute to access our killing records."
"We keep records of who we killed. I thought that was strictly for important people." Jim looked at him surprised.
"Yes, I do. I need to keep track of who might come after us. Like this lady here. There is another laptop for your VIP killings." Moran scooped a laptop out of nowhere and sat next to Moriarty typing extremely fast. In less than a minute he found what he was looking for. "The person you're looking for is Maria Penny. You killed her ten months ago by strapping her into one of our experimental bombs which we were testing to use when we face Sherlock Holmes." Moran looked disgusted when he pronounced Sherlock's name. Moriarty just looked dreamy!
Suddenly Paterson screamed, "AHA. That's my partner. You evil son..." Moriarty brought his hand up and she was silent.
"I still do not remember her, or you," He looked back at her frowning. "Nope, not a clue. Sebastian, are there any significant details about that bomb?"
"No. Same old things. We practiced them on unimportant people before you chose the best one to use it on John Watson."
"Ah, yes. Dear old Dr. Watson. I am looking forward to my next game with Sherlock." Moran hated that name, but he hated the look on Jim's face every time Sherlock is mentioned. He needed to get this anger out of his system fast before he blow something up. Having that woman yelling at them again was not helping his jealousy rage.
"I am sorry miss, it seems you're not important enough for me to keep you in my memory," Jim said standing up. "Now, if you'll excuse I have a very important world criminals meeting I need to attend to."
"Now wait a minute. I came all the way here to kill you," Paterson brought her gun an pointed it at Moriarty's head. "And I will."
Jim laughed. His "I will kill you and make you into a suit" laugh, and turned to look at her. "Young lady. The only person who can kill me is Sherlock Holmes. Not you." He smiled at her. "Do you want to know why? I'll tell you..."
The sound of a gun shot and people screaming shut Moriarty up. He looked to find Paterson on the floor, shocked but alive. And Sebastian with a gun in his hand.
"What the HELL was that? Didn't you see I was telling her my evil plan on how to take down Sherlock..."
"Sherlock Sherlock Sherlock.. Can't you talk about anything else other than SHERLOCK." Moran was yelling.
Jim blinked at him. He knew Sebastian was the jealous type, but to shoot someone just to change the subject of Sherlock. That was a turn on. Sebastian clearly didn't see the look on Jim's face, he was still yelling.
"What happened to our best killings talks or how to skin people without getting your clothes dirty. Those were what made us who we are." Sebastian grabbed Jim's hand and dragged him away from all the screaming and sirens while still yelling at Jim for not paying enough attention to him.
I should keep records for people on my mobile phone next time I leave the house, that was the last though Jim Moriarty thought of before one Sebastian Moran throw him into a car and drove away.