The Day Valentine Never Celebrated
Valentines Day Special
Valentine's POV
Italics: Ithuriel
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Valentine grumbled softly as he padded down the steps that led to the eerie basement. The boards groaned under his weight as he entered the little make shift workspace, oils and concoctions of all sorts bubbling and gurgling as the fire licked up the sides of canisters. Black demon blood moved like tar under the flame like tar, tough and sticky when hot. He frowned, examining the burning demon blood absently, mind going a million miles an hour in a different direction. Without thinking, he glanced at the gleaming angel blood as it festered under the open torch. It swelled and retracted, growing then shrinking as it danced around, taking forms of different angels or animals, swirling.
The angel blood, ichor as some called it, formed into many different shapes: a yapping dog that bounded around, a character that looked incredibly like Jonathan Shadowhunter in prayer, and finally, it swelled into a beating heart.
He knew what a heart was. He had had plenty of subjects, animal and human, that had hearts. But this heart wasn't the kind with chambers and an aorta. This kind was the one that Valentine had been seeing for the past month: the kind with two curved tops and a spiked end. He frowned, observing the little thing beat and writhe before it morphed into a sword, swiping at an unknown enemy.
Sighing, Valentine kicked his feet up watching his vials and parts sizzle and hiss. "Ithuriel?" he called over his shoulder.
The scraping of chains rang out, shackles clanging together. The weak form of a human sat just out of view, cloaked in shadows. Two wings were plastered against his back, shameful at their ragged appearance. He turned towards him, instinct telling him to flinch away. Gauze were around his eyes, form bloodied and haggard. His weak angelic voice filled the room, Yes, what is it, Valentine?
He swiveled around in his chair, looking at the captured angel, "What is this day of love I keep hearing about. I saw flowers and strange packages and odd floating parcels that had pictures or words on them. And everywhere I went, people just kept saying my name. I knew that I was infamous, but I had no idea that they had a whole day named after me! What an honor!" He laughed, joyous and jolly at the good news.
Ithuriel scoffed, It isn't named after you. It is a holiday that celebrates the noble Saint Valentine who married couples in secret against the law. This Valentine's Day celebrates love that we are now lucky enough to have.
Valentine looked away, huffing, "I like my idea better." He pretended not to be interested in anything the angel said or did, but now he had gotten himself into dangerous territory. Valentine was now curious. And once he was curious, he had to have the answer, or he would hurt himself trying.
"So," he said nonchalantly, trying to not act like any of this irked him at all. "What do these silly mortals do on this silly holiday?"
He sighed, you're curious, aren't you?"
Scoffing, Valentine shook his head, "Uh, no way. I was just wandering that if I was mortal, what would I do to my mortal comrades who also shared this mortal holiday, and how would I act if I, a mortal, were to do something as a mortal on the mortal world. Like a mortal. From a mortal's point of view. For science…" He paused, "… Mortal…"
The angel fixed him in a blind gaze, the look basically saying that he didn't believe Valentine one bit.
He sighed, "Alright! Yes, I'm curious. Just tell me…" he whined.
Ithuriel released a low breath, Fine. The holiday was originally to celebrate being able to be a couple. Now, mortals buy chocolates or roses and send cards or do romantic things for the people they love. That's about it. Complete waist of time and resources.
"So, what your saying is that I must go out there and see for myself what this holiday that shares my name is-"
I never said that-
"-And I must go spend all of my time and resources to get gifts-"
What? I never told you that-
"-And you told me to go get cards for everyone I love and send them out tonight-"
Where do you get this stuff from?-
"-It's brilliant! Your idea is brilliant, angel. That is what my quest for today shall entail!" He declared, sounding as serious as a soldier at battle.
Ithuriel sighed, leaning against the cool brick wall, I don't really care what you do today. Just leave me out of it.
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Hours later, Valentine returned home with an arsenal of streamers, hearts and confetti. He busied himself around the lair, sprucing stuff up by placing bows, ribbons or anything with a heart or pink on it. Confetti scattered on the ground as streamers hung loosely like red and pink vines. He slid a box of chocolates over to Ithuriel, braiding rose petals into both of their golden blonde hair.
Valentine went completely overboard for Valentine's Day, everything decked out for one day of the year, and the guy didn't even have someone that he loved. This was too much.
After finishing his decorations, Valentine sat in his chair, eyes glued to an old wall clock as it ticked away the seconds. Ithuriel sighed, knowing that he would regret this.
What are you doing? He asked him.
"Waiting for Valentine's Day to come tomorrow." He answered as if it was simple.
The angle resisted the urge to face palm. Why don't you go and start writing all those cards. I'm sure that everybody loves you, he said sarcastically.
Valentine rushed over to his desk, taking out all the notes he had bought. He looked around, "Who to write to first… Oh! What about Jace!"
He started scribbling down words, reading aloud:
"Dearest Jace,
How are you handling the idea that you weren't my son, or a demon, or Clary's brother? Must suck. But trying to get with your 'sister'? Nice. INCEST ALL THE WAY. Lol, but jk. Not really. I'd tap that.
Signed Your Ex Father of Awesomeness
Valentine Morgenstern"
"Done!" he smiled, sealing that envelope. "Next… Shall be Jocelyn!"
I don't think that's how cards are supposed to go-
"Dearest Jocelyn,
I still can't understand why we broke up. Sure I fed our children blood and then killed a ton of people, including your parents and turned your now fiancé into a werewolf and stuff like that. So what I summoned a few demons? That's normal in this world. So just grab a wall and twerk it out sister.
From Swagmaster
Valentine Morgenstern"
Ithuriel cleared his throat, Valentine, these notes are highly inappropriate and so unpredictable. This isn't how-
It didn't matter, Valentine was off to the next one:
"Dearest Jonathan,
How's being a demon treating you? Death must rock right? I wouldn't know. Sorry about all the demon blood you had put into you, but you know how it is. YOLO, right dude? Lol totally. Well, in your case I guess it's YOLALADDKRY. That stands for You Only Live As Long As Dumb Demons Keep Reviving You.
Signed the dude who is the master at messing with people
Valentine Morgenstern
P.S. You tried to get with Clary too? Incest must be in this season."
… Valentine, what is this-
"Dearest Luke,
Sorry for that bite… LOL NOT.
Signed with a Troll Face
Valentine Morgenstern"
"Best for last!" Valentine laughed, opening a new letter:
"Dearest Clary
Both your brothers, huh? Nice. I heard that you're quite the prize. We've got to try this incest thing next time we chat. Sorry for being such a bad father. LOL PYSHCE! I'm an awesome father. #swagalicious Morningstarkillz
With Love From Most Awesome Dad Ever
Valentine Morgenstern."
Ithuriel sat in stunned silence, just watching, I honestly have no idea what is going on. Valentine, where did you learn all of that mortal lingo?
Valentine smirked, glancing over at him, holding up an urban dictionary, "Girl, I picked it up when I got all the decorations."
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So Valentine's Day rolled around and Valentine had all the notes mailed out, quietly enjoying the day that bore his name. He never did anything, just sitting and waiting for his mail to arrive. It never came. He didn't receive any flowers or chocolates and he sat, just waiting.
Valentine stayed up all night until Valentine's Day was officially over at 12:01, and then sighed, plopping down in his chair. "Ithuriel? Why does everybody hate me?"
Even though the angel had been captured, tortured and blinded by this cruel man, he couldn't shake the pitiful voice of him as he sat. … Nobody hates you. The mail is just overloaded with love letters. That's all.
Valentine looked up, "Really? You think so?"
Sure.
He looked a little better, but still wasn't truly convinced or energetic anymore.
Ithuriel didn't know why he felt suddenly like he had to cheer up the dangerous little man, but he did. Sighing, he cleared his throat, I know what always lifts your spirits.
Valentine looked up expectantly, gazing at him.
Clearing his throat, Ithuriel stretched out his winds, all the eyes blinking and shuddering from nonuse. His curly golden hair shimmered and his pale skin flexed as he moved. In a low voice, he slowly started to sing, his voice filling the large room, But you make me feel like,
I've been locked out of Heaven
For too long- He held out the last note and Valentine clapped, laughing.
Ithuriel sighed, lying back against the bricks. For both of their sakes, he wished that Valentine never celebrated Valentine's Day ever again.
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(A/N) So what did you think? This was supposed to just be a little funny One shot of Valentine discovering Valentine's Day. It's stupid now that I look back over it. If you liked it fav/follow and tell me if you liked it or not. Feedback wanted. Review please.