Title: Just Wanted to See

Summary: Jace has great abs. Isabelle wants to compare him and Alec. Alec isn't the most willing of participants. Jace and Izzy? Well, they don't really care. All dialogue, pre-CoB.

Notes: This was cowritten by my dear friend A+P! It's definitely not the best piece of writing either of us has done, but it was a fun experiment. Basically, we wrote a dialogue only to see how much we could conveywith just words. It's as if you're on the other side of the door and can't see anything going on. I use this concept a lot for brainstorming, just dialogue skeletons, so a lot of the FFs you see I write start out like this. The difference is, we thought this was way funnier without the explanations. We know that this is longer than most dialogue-only fics, but we're willing to give it the chance to shine. Enjoy! (A key is provided in the beginning for help).

Also, please don't think we hate Alec. We love the poor kid, but he's easier to embarrass than Jace or Magnus!

EDIT: Sorry, some formatting got messed up! Max's underlining came undone and I didn't realize. Fixed it, though, so it should be easier to understand. Don't worry, Alec wasn't speaking in third person.

Warnings: Some cursing not suitable for young ears and some (okay, a lot) of Jace unwittingly absolutely humiliating and horrifying Alec. So... Watch out.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments series!

Alec

Isabelle

Jace

Max

Mayrse

"You haven't got a chance with Jace."

"He's kissed more guys than me!"

"You haven't kissed anyone."

"He's kissed guys, though!"

"He was drunk, Alec. Jace will do anything drunk."

"Damn, you're right."

"I always am."

"But Jace has kissed more-"

"He was drunk, Alec."

"Yea, but that doesn't mean he wasn't aware."

"He had had a lot of beer, even for him. So yes, it does mean he wasn't aware."

"Maybe -"

"Alec, he didn't remember his own name and passed out for over an hour. I waved my hand in front of him, I goddamn felt him up trying to get his attention, and he barely noticed. He wasn't aware."

"You...felt him up?"

"Alec! I was trying to get his attention! Sorry, next time we need to figure out how hammered Jace is, I'll get you. Aw, don't blush, you know you want to. His abs are really nice… Hey, you two have the same training. I wonder if your abs are like that. Can I see?"

"NO!"

"Oh, right, I forgot. You'll only take your shirt off for Jace. Hey, Jace!"

"No, no, no, Izzy!"

"Jace, can you get Alec to take his shirt off?"

"Isabelle! Stop! He's coming over here! Now I'm going to have to- Oh, hi Jace."

"Hi, Alec. Are you okay? You look really, really red right now -"

"I'm fine! I'm fine. Izzy was just telling me how the other night she... nevermind."

"Izzy, what did you do?"

"Your abs are hot."

"Thanks, I - wait. What?"

"You were drunk, I needed to get your attention. I figured you were making out with so many people that if I tried, you'd pay attention. Obviously, it didn't work."

"Did you -"

"I left your pants alone. Anyway, I was wondering if Alec had the same abs as you, because you have the same training and all, but he wouldn't show me."

"And he'd show me?"

"That's exactly what I said when she called you over!"

"Alec, you're getting redder."

"Come on, Jace, don't you want to see Alec's abs?"

"Uh... actually... Iz, I hate to break it to you, but only girls care about guys' abs. Unless their our own. Right, Alec?"

"Is that true? Because, see, I thought Alec seemed pretty -"

"I don't feel good."

"No way, you're not leaving."

"Leave me alone, Isabelle! Let go of my arm."

"Jace, I think there's something Alec wants to tell you."

"Really? Ok, go ahead, Alec."

"I...well... I was wondering about your... technique."

"Technique? Alec if you want girl advice, just ask."

"I'm pretty sure that's the exact opposite of what he wants right now..."

"No, Jace, I meant your dagger throwing technique. I can never get it, uh, on the target and, I was wondering, er, how you get it right every time?"

"Really, you don't need to use code words, Alec. Who is she?"

"I'm not using code words! I just... Never mind. I'm going to shower now."

"Wait, Alec, what's her name?"

"Yeah Alec, what's her name?"

"There is no girl!"

"Of course there's a girl. You're going to take a shower now, aren't you?"

"Wha - Jace, what the hell does that mean?"

"You're thinking about her and you suddenly decide to take a shower. And I know I don't have to worry about you using up the hot water right now."

"You are such an arrogant ass!"

"Because I'm right?"

"Because you think you're right! There is no girl!"

"Yeah, Jace, he's right. There is no girl."

"You - you, just shut up!"

"Ow! Jace, he hit me!"

"You can take care of yourself, kick him in the balls."

"I have a better idea. Show me your abs, Alec."

"I'm going to shower."

"Don't freeze."

"Fuck you, Jace."

"I'm sure you want to. Everyone does."

"ISABELLE! JACE! LET GO!"

"Max, come here!"

"Why?"

"Just come here, grab his other arm!"

"Why?"

"It's training, okay, kid?"

"Jace, Mom said we weren't supposed to use our training to hurt other Shadowhunters."

"Yeah, well, here's an exception. Just take over this arm for me."

"Okay!"

"Max, come on, kid, let go of me."

"Jace said -"

"I don't care what Jace said."

"Do you have him, Iz?"

"Got him. Max?"

"I have him."

"Arg!"

"Okay. If he'd just stop squirming, I could grab his shirt - ow, what was that for?"

"For trying to strip me."

"Only of your shirt. I wanna see your abs."

"Isabelle, I don't care."

"Just lift his shirt now..."

"Isabelle! Why-"

"Izzy, why are we lifting Alec's shirt anyway?"

"Because, I just wanted to look at his abs but he was refusing. Jace, can you lift his shirt soon? He is struggling, you know!"

"Fine. I didn't want to touch his ratty sweater, but if you insist! Huh, I've definitely got better abs. Have you been skipping workouts or something?"

"Oh, yea, sorry, Alec, he does."

"What's that mark on your stomach?"

"That's my bellybutton, idiot."

"No, the one below it."

"A birthmark? I don't know! Can you all let go of me now?"

"No, Izzy, don't let go yet. It looks like a scratch. What scratched you on your stomach? You're one of the worst Shadowhunters I know if you get hurt on the stomach. I can feel that it's not that old either. Jesus… Let me draw an iratze for you. If you ever get farther than first base with this mysterious girl, you might not want scratches all over your body."

"Jace, he probably hasn't gotten to first base yet."

"Shut up Isabelle."

"Oh, you have? With who then? What's her name?"

"Jace, why are you – hey, get out of my pockets! I don't care if you need – oh, well, I guess you found my stele… Thanks for asking… And – okay, you realize how awkward this is for you to be – whatever. I told you, there is no her."

"He? You know, Alec, I would've expected you to tell me you were gay."

"Jace, why would you assume that?"

"What's gay?"

"Happy, joyful."

"Alec doesn't look happy."

"Yeah, well, he is on the inside, right, Alec?"

"Can you all let go of me now?"

"No, I haven't drawn the iratze yet. Hold still. You don't want me to screw it up and give you a Mark for lust, right?"

"There's a Mark for that?"

"No, there's not. Izzy, don't listen to him."

"Jace, what's lust?"

"You're gonna have to ask your dad about that one, kid."

"But-"

"Jace are you almost done?"

"Stop squirming and I will be sooner!"

"Well, now I have an itch."

"Where?"

"My leg. Your elbow was tickling me."

"I can scratch it for you."

"No, that's fine I can deal with it."

"Really, Alec. Is that where?"

"Well, not exactly..."

"Higher? Like here? Or still more?"

"Jace, stop, really! Izzy, it's not funny!"

"Alec, I'm not going any closer to-"

"His private parts?"

"Yes, thank you Max."

"Shit, Izzy let go of me now!"

"You said a bad word!"

"Shut up, Max!"

"You said another bad word! Alec said both the s-words, Jace!"

"That was very bad, Alec."

"Oh, don't lecture me. Will you stop feeling me up? I'm not that itchy!"

"You know, Jace, you have a history of feeling guys up."

"Oh yeah? So do you, Izzy."

"Do you actually remember that?"

"What? The making out the other night? Yeah. It was fun."

"See? HE DOES REMEMBER! Oh, ow, ow, ow, Izzy, ow, stop it, ow."

"That's it, if you won't stay still, I'll make you."

"Jace, what does that -"

"Izzy, Max, let go."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

"Okay."

"Arg! JACE! GET OFFA ME!"

"No. Stay still and let me do the iratze."

"I DONT WANT THE IRATZE!"

"I'll buy you an ice cream if Jace wins."

"I'll give you a quarter and my TV hour if Alec does."

"Max, are you really willing to give that up for Alec's loss?"

"...No. I take it back."

"Good boy."

"Alec stop pulling your shirt down."

"Ah! You didn't have to rip it off!"

"Of course I did. It was in the way. Wait, what the-fuck, Alec! You need to get tighter pants"

"What's going on? Why did you cover my eyes, Izzy?"

"You don't have to see this, Max."

"Does this mean you win?"

"I don't think anyone wins here. But Alec definitely loses."

"Are you doing an iratze or not?"

"Of course I'm doing an iratze. What do you think, I'm staring at your chest? Like Izzy said, it's not that nice."

"My self esteem is plummeting."

"And your pants are rising. What gorgeous girl are you thinking about?"

"I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT A GIRL!"

"What -"

"I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT ANYONE! JUST GET OFF!"

"Alec, wait!"

"Guess he doesn't want that cut fixed."

"Max, maybe you should go to your room or something."

"But Izzzzzyyyy!"

"Just go, Max."

"But why?"

"Kid, listen to your sister. I'm off to go find your brother-"

"WAIT! Jace, I think if anything I should go talk to him."

"Uh, Iz? This isn't really a sibling thing. I'm sure he'd rather talk to me. Maybe I'll be able to figure out who the girl is."

"Jace, wait! I'm coming too!"

"Izzy, stop following me!"

"I'm not following, I just know where Alec's room is and am headed there."

"I'm talking to Alec alone."

"You're going to humiliate him further. This is all your fault."

"All my fault? Who's idea was it to pull off his shirt?"

"I said pull it up, not off! And I never wanted to tackle him. Just see his abs!"

"Yeah, well, it's not my fault he struggled so much. What is with you and his abs, anyway? Are you into incest or something?"

"Ew, no, Alec wouldn't like me even if we weren't related. And hello, it's not my fault he got hard."

"Like it's mine?"

"Technically a few different things could have caused it. One of which was the rubbing of his baggy pants-"

"Really? I didn't know that, thanks for filling me in."

"I'm just saying, it wasn't necessarily you..."

"Alec, open the door. We wanna talk. It's not about the girl, but about your baggy pants."

"Jace, shut the hell up and stop winking, you look like there's something wrong with you. Alec, will you at least let me in? I, at least, understand."

"How can you understand? Is there something you need to tell Alec and I? You've been cross dressing all these years? I must say I'm not surprised..."

"I'm three seconds away from using my whip."

"No, thanks, I'm not into the whole 'man on man' scene. Alec, you should probably let us in before something happens out here. You're still the oldest and will be blamed for any bloodshed."

"Izzy, get in here."

"Aw, thanks!"

"What about me? Can't I - hey! Why'd you shut the door on my face?"

"Cuz you're annoying! Alec, what is it?"

"Come here, away from the door."

"Okay...What?"

"How many hints do you have to drop? I mean, really, if Jace hasn't started to catch on now, he's more of an idiot than I thought."

"Wow. You have him on a really high pedestal. Especially his intelligence. Relax, Alec, he thinks it's just teasing. He doesn't think anything about you being gay is real."

"Sh!"

"Why are you two whispering? Oh, come on, please let me in? I can't eavesdrop properly when you whisper like that!"

"That's the point, Jace! Izzy, get out."

"No. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just want to take a shower and be left alone for a bit."

"... A cold shower?"

"No. In fact, I plan to use every drop of hot water, just so you two can't have good ones."

"ALEXANDER LIGHTWOOD LET ME- ow! That hurt!"

"What are you, five?"

"Why'd you open the door? I was leaning on it! You made me fall."

"You sort of asked to be let in."

"Izzy, I wanted him to give me warning."

"See what I mean by his intelligence, Alec?"

"You were insulting my intelligence? That's... insulting."

"Point proven yet again."

"Both of you out now. I'm going to shower."

"Wi-"

"No, with hot water. Just go."

"Alexander Lightwood! You come out and explain to me RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND why Max just told me you were all fighting!"

"Looks like mommy dearest is home..."

"Jace, you're a part of this too."

"Come on, guys. I'm not going alone."

"We should probably go before Max says anything about what we told him to ask his dad."

"I'm pretty sure that was just you, Jace. Have fun explaining."

"Hey, don't walk away from me! Alec! Ugh. And the moral of this afternoon is that Alec either needs to get a girlfriend or get tighter pants. Now wait up!"

"Wait a minute. Jace got felt up the other night by several people. Alec got felt up by Jace, the lucky bastard. What about me?"

"ISABELLE LIGHTWOOD!"

"Oh, I know about me. I'm grounded. Joy."

Notes: Eh, not our best ending, but overall, we had a blast writing it (I may add that it was done past midnight, so anything you don't understand, we blame the sleep deprivation). We hope you enjoyed it! Feedback is great - favorite part? Do you think Jace and Izzy went way too far? (Personally, I think they deserve everything they get from Mayrse and Alec, even if it was funny). And Max. Little Max. What did you think of him?

Fun fact - A+P basically betas all my work. I was playing around with an idea and sent it to her. I had a line somewhere referring to Jace getting drunk and making out with a lot of guys and she commented on how she could see Alec using that as an excuse somehow, which led to our imaginary conversation. And it just spun out of control into this. We took turns, neither of us telling the other where we were trying to go with it (in the end, we were heading in the same general direction). And got -Just Wanted to See. The other fic is likely not being posted as is... It needs work. I got distracted from it :) I hope you enjoyed!