Dean has never understood what's so great about birds.
That is why, when Sam asks him to show the new manager of the Winchester Zoo bird department around, he wonders why his brother didn't consider anyone else before him.
"All they do is poop on cars and leave feathers all over the place", Dean complains. "And the noise. Don't get me started on the fucking noise."
"All birds don't make noise, Dean", says Sam, and sure, Dean knows that. Owls, for example, are quiet, creepy motherfuckers with staring eyes and a twisty demon neck but their silence doesn't make them any better than the lorikeets that enjoy bursting people's ear drums.
Nope, Dean does not like birds. Reptiles are better by miles.
"And he's not a bird", says Sam, a slightly amused tone to his voice. "His name is Castiel Novak, and he's a bird expert. He's gonna be a great asset here. And it'll do you good. You don't meet nearly enough new people."
Dean cocks an eyebrow.
"Do I need to?"
Sam sighs and rolls his eyes.
"Yes, you do."
"What about Gabriel? If he's birdy's brother, why can't he-"
"For the love of god, don't start calling him 'birdy'", says Sam. "Besides", he adds with an expectant look, "he's single and bi. And I may not swing that way, but I'm not blind. The guy's good looking."
"Ooh", Dean teases automatically, "and what does Jess think about you ogling strange men?"
Sam throws him a bitchface and that's when Dean knows this conversation is over. There is no way he's going to get out of showing the new guy around now.
"So Sam stuck me with the job of showing him around and like, taking care of him." Dean dumps the big, smelly pile of retic poop into the bucket Charlie is holding out for him. "As if I don't have enough to do already. I got that sick rescue ball to look after, and the ghost corn is gonna lay her eggs soon – her first clutch, can you believe that? Remember when I first got her and she was so small, and she bit your finger and you didn't even notice?" Dean laughs.
"Dean, you're babbling." Charlie throws the ten foot long reticulated python a glance. "Let's give Frodo some space and get on with our work."
"Yeah. Right", says Dean, following Charlie out of the enclosure into the back room and locking the door behind him. Charlie chucks the contents of the bucket into the big trash bag, closes the lid, and turns to Dean.
"You'd be at work anyway, wouldn't you?" she says. "You're not gonna be babysitting him on your free time?"
"God, no", says Dean.
"Then what are you complaining about, grumpy?" Charlie goes to the sink, turns on the tap and starts washing her hands. Dean follows her, waiting in line. "I think it's cool to have someone like him here. Gabe says he's traveled a lot, knows karate, and apparently he's a certified biologist and zoologist. He's one of the best, he just doesn't brag about it or publish stuff. Doesn't like the spotlight."
Dean raises his eyebrows.
"Gabriel told you that?"
"I know you think he makes everything up." Charlie shuffles aside to give Dean access to the tap and the soap as she dries her hands on a clean towel. "But in this case, I think he's just really proud of his little brother. It's not so far-fetched, is it?"
Dean knows what she's getting at – he's supposed to relate. And sure, damn straight he's proud of Sammy, his own little brother who owns this whole zoo and runs it with his wife, but that doesn't change the fact that whoever this feather-fetish guy is that's coming to work here, he's going to have feathers stuck to his shirt and dried uric acid on his cap and he's just going to be one more person making the staff room smell like bird, and Dean is decidedly not going to like him.