This is originally written as a b-day present for Polo... It only took me about five months to actually get around to it... I'm terrible. Never request anything from me if you want it done quickly.

This is from Lindsey's POV and takes place after Not Fade Away. There is a planned sequal that will be in Wes' POV. You know... when I get to it... Cough...

Strength

Chapter One

People are told to expect a lot of things when they die. White light, voice of long dead loved ones… Hell, maybe even the voice of God himself. Happy little fairy tales to make death a little less scary.

But death is scary. Downright terrifying even. Especially when you know that when it comes to call on you, you'll be facing it alone. No one has the strength to deal with that, doesn't matter what you think you know. The only way you've got to deal with that kind of fear is if you've got someone to stand there next to you. Someone to become your strength and pull you through it.

The truth of it is…you see a white light then you'd better run the fuck the other way. Hear voices? Those are the screams of the tortured.

And it's not hell, though I'd imagine it might be pretty close. Except that I wasn't afraid of hell. I was afraid of this place.

A noise, closer than the screams I could hear, caught my attention and I spun to it. The last thing I expected to see. One of Angel's lackey's down here with me. Didn't know if that was better or worse than being alone.

Wesley Wyndham-Pryce. Standing there looking shell-shocked.

I watched him for a moment but he didn't acknowledge me. Too deep in shock. I felt like I was just waking up from it but maybe I'd been down here longer.

I let my gaze slip away from him and cast a studying look around. Dark earth walls surrounded us. Stalactites dropped from above us. An underground cavern. Senior Partners were really skimping on the decorating.

Gawking about wasn't getting us anywhere, though, and I turned back to Wesley to try and break through his stupor. "Wesley."

It was all I managed. Wesley's eyes fixed on me and I instantly regretted saying a thing. He lunged for me, his hands fisting into my shirt collar and slamming me back into the wall. My chest screamed with pain. I saw Wesley's face contort and his arms shook as they held me in place. I didn't bother to struggle. There wasn't much strength behind his grip anyway.

"You! What did you do?"

His shaking was growing worse, I could feel it through the grip he had on me. "I got about as much clue about what's going on here as you do," I gritted out. Wesley paused. He looked confused but his gaze drifted from me to look around the room.

"What is...?" he began in awe as he took in the immense earthen walls. He didn't finish his question, as he seemed to find the answer himself. "Vail."

"Yeah. Guessing you didn't fair too well with your guy then?" I didn't even know if Wesley was listening to me at all, his eyes looked so vacant.

I watched him in wary silence, as he did no more than stand there. As my eyes drifted over him, it was pretty hard not to notice the dark stain that spread from his side. Blood. The bullets still in my own chest stung when I moved. But Wesley stirred and stopped me thinking too deeply on that.

"Where are we?" His voice sounded distant.

I shrugged, taking another glance around. "Welcome to the afterlife."

Wesley eyed me a little insanely. "Not quite what I'd expected hell to be like."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "And you were expecting..."

A dismissive lift of his eyebrows made light of the entire situation. "Oh, fire, brimstone... Three headed demon..." He looked around, as though one might leap at him from the walls before fixing his gaze back on me.

He masked it well but I could still see it. Wesley was scared. It was in the way his eyes darted to the side; just a quick little flick to make sure nothing was there. The slight tick of a jaw muscle that showed the clenching of his teeth. The steady breaths that were too forced.

He was just this side of panicking or going into starry-eyed shock.

My attention shifted away from him to take in our surroundings once again. Nothing of note was there, just dark shadows, a huge space, and dirt walls. I shook my head. "I don't think we're in hell."

I knew it was gonna be one of those moments where you know that as soon as you say it, everything is gonna get one whole hell of a lot worse. A moment went by in silence where I knew we were both waiting for it. We didn't have to wait long.

The opposite end of the cavern burst into the fire and brimstone that seemed to follow exactly what Wesley had been expecting. I glanced sideways at Wesley to see him stepping back, eyes wide and looking like he would pass out. He was muttering under his breath.

"Judas. I am... And this is..." He was peering through the smoke of the flames, through the red dirt that was kicked up. "There! Do you see it? ...My hell." His voice was far away though, still speaking to himself and not directed anywhere. I looked, squinting my eyes to try and see through the smoke. It looked...a lot like Lilah walking towards us and looking irritated.

I smirked. "Think that could count as everybody's hell, actually."

Wesley gave me an inscrutable look. Lilah was waving her hand about her face as she approached us, stopping a few feet away. She gave us the smile that said we were very interesting insects.

"Sorry about the theatrics. Senior Partners. Like to make a bit of an impression." She glanced across to Wesley, insufferably smug look firmly in place. "Don't look so shocked; who else did you expect to see down here?"

There was an audible click of teeth from Wesley but I wasn't taking my eyes off Lilah. Scheming witch would probably produce a hacksaw and cut our heads off.

"This the part where you tell us the Senior Partner's are pissed and we're about to pay?"

She gave me a pitiful look. "Actually I'm not going to be doing anything. I was just making sure that that little guy knew where to find you."

A brief lift of her eyebrows told us where to look. Not that we wouldn't have been able to notice it on our own.

A great huge, three headed demon. Wesley choked off what I wasn't sure I wanted to acknowledge as a whimper. Lilah grinned at the both of us again and started to move away, backing into the smoke that hung thick enough to sting my eyes.

"Play nice, boys."

I didn't bother to watch her as she vanished. She was suddenly the least of our problems. Instinct brought Wesley and I closer together, shoulders touching as the beast ambled its way closer to us, all three heads pinning their gazes on us. The middle one I was sure was smiling.

Wesley looked like he was about ready to keel over just from the sight of the thing. Which was close now, enough that it could swing its heads around, one on either side boxing us in. I could see the two of us reflected in its glassy eyes as the middle head came down even with us, could feel its breath, hot and humid over my face.

We didn't move. Animals attack when you run. Its gaze became sharp and focused on me. I met it steadily, daring the thing to make some move. Everything in its expression suggested that it had just smirked at me with the thought.

It flicked its gaze to Wesley, tilting its head in a way that reminded me far too much of Illyria. I thought Wesley would cringe back away from it. Instead, he pulled himself up as the intense gaze focused on him. Shit, the boy had some balls. He met that thing's gaze head on, gave it the same 'I dare you' look that I had. Except, this time, that thing dared.

It screamed. A high-pitched shriek that would have broken glass. I flinched and stepped straight back into the demon's head, at my side. It growled low and shot me a killing look.

Wesley never even batted an eye. I had to give the guy credit. When he spoke, low and menacing, it was out of nowhere but in obvious answer to something the creature had said.

"I won't betray Angel."

Everything always came down to him. Everyone's world always revolved around him. I raised my hand slightly in mock eagerness. "I'll betray him." Bastard had betrayed me after all.

I regretted speaking when two sets of glares were aimed my way and the head behind me nudged my shoulder roughly. I caught a glimpse of needle sharp teeth when it parted its mouth long enough to flick its snake tongue out. Humour seemed to be less than appreciated and I shrugged. I wasn't going to give this thing, or Wolfram and Hart, the satisfaction of acting afraid. When all three heads swung around to me that suddenly became a little bit harder.

There was just me reflected in the beasts gaze now as it focused on me and I met it with a hard stare. I could see Wesley off to the side, watching with obvious distress – always the white hat, can't let anyone get hurt – and when he made a step to intervene, I raised a hand slightly that stilled him. A long moment passed in mine and the creature's face down and for a moment the middle head flashed teeth in a grin. A split second later and the one off to the right was giving the same silence-piercing scream as the middle had before, and swinging around to strike Wesley square in the chest.

I could hear something snapping, Wesley crying out as he was flung backwards. Straight into a dark hole in the ground that I knew hadn't been there a moment ago.

All attention was back on me then, all three heads hissing low and eying me with interest.

Shit, was I ever regretting speaking now.