"'Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for our sinners, now, and at the hour of our death.' Amen."
Duo bowed his head for a long moment, crossed himself, and got up from his knees to sit in the pew behind him with a small sigh. There was no statue of Mary in the little chapel on MO2, just a simple cross hanging in the front. But it didn't matter. Just like there was no Christmas on MO2, sometimes just because you can't see something doesn't mean it's not there.
"Duo?"
He looked up. Trowa was standing over him. His green eyes that always seemed concerned looked even more so now. He opened his mouth to say something, but apparently thought better of it, like he needed an invitation. "Hey, Trowa," Duo said warmly, playing along. "Do you want to sit down?" He moved over on the pew, and out of the corner of his eye saw Trowa uncomfortably cross himself before taking a seat.
"We were wondering where you went," Trowa said, facing the front.
Duo smiled. He knew that was the other boy's way of saying he was concerned. But he asked, "Who's 'we'? I thought everyone left already."
"No," Trowa said. "Quatre's still here." He shifted a bit in his seat, trying to appear more amiable. "He asked where you were, Duo. You're his best friend and he wanted to make sure you were doing all right. I had a feeling you'd be here."
"It's Christmas," Duo said simply. "Thought I'd pay my respects, after such a long leave of absence."
"I forgot," Trowa said absently. "I figured it was that girl."
Duo looked down at his hands, folded in his lap, thinking, If only it were that simple.
"The fighting may be over," Trowa added, "but...We're all in need of some cheering up."
"Yeah," Duo said. He got the hint, but for once didn't know where to go with it. He forced a smile and turned to Trowa for the first time since he'd taken a seat. "Are you a Catholic, Trowa?" he asked.
"No. I'm not much of anything."
Duo shrugged. "Well, you turned out okay anyway. You know, Sister Helen used to tell me that I should pray anywhere I could. But if I could, I should do it in a church because God could hear me better. When I was little I used to think, What better place for God to hear me than in space? It makes sense, right?" He flashed Trowa an animated grin, this time genuine, and saw the other boy smile slightly. "She always said I have to remember the Virgin Mary every once in a while, too, 'cause if she hears me, then when my time comes she might knock a few years off my time in purgatory."
"Like a--" Trowa stopped himself, making Duo's grin even wider.
"Oh, go ahead and say it," he said. "Like a parole officer, right? It's okay; I'm sure they have a sense of humor up there." He sighed, the grin vanishing. "Aw, hell. Who knows if we even deserve to go to heaven? I'm not sure it even exists anymore."Beside him, Trowa was still. "What else did Sister Helen tell you?" he asked, obviously more to change the subject than out of curiosity.
"Well, uhh..." Duo scratched his head. "Same old stuff, I guess. Love your neighbor. Do unto others as you'd want them to do to you. Never let the sun go down on an argument, that sort of thing. You know, things we're not exactly shining examples of." He laughed nervously, turning to see if he'd been able to bring a smile to the otherwise stoic boy's face. But Trowa had closed his eyes, and his characteristic frown returned. Suddenly Duo knew what was bothering him so much. "Jeez, I'm sorry, Trowa," he started. "I know I haven't been very nice to you lately. And I want to say...I'm really, really sorry."
Trowa met his gaze, surprised. He said, "For what?"
Duo shrugged. "I didn't try hard enough to be your friend," he said. There was no other way to explain it. Maybe it was the end of the war making him feel apologetic, but he supposed there was no better time for it. "I guess maybe I was jealous--"
"Jealous?"
"Aw, petty stuff really. Like how Quatre pays so much attention to you, and Hilde thinks you're cute..."
Trowa snorted beside him. "That's all? I thought you might have hated me for blowing up your Gundam," he said.
Duo started, and thought for a moment. "I hated you for betraying us. And even when I knew you were only acting, I was mad at you for even suggesting you didn't give a damn about what happened to us." He looked back down at his hands. "I finally realized I was the one who didn't have faith in my friends."
Trowa was silent beside him. He was never one to condemn another person for his actions, having been through so much himself. He let Duo continue.
"Quatre told me about how you stared him down when he was out of control in Zero. I know what that system was like, so I know what a risk you took. He could have killed you--he almost did!--but you were there for him no matter what. That takes an awful lot of trust, Trowa. That was faith, and..." He slouched hopelessly. "And I don't have it."
"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Trowa asked. "You put your life in her hands to make her see you two were the same. Remember? You told me yourself, Duo. You care about her. And it's not easy, is it?" He backed away from Duo, and Duo thought for sure he would leave, exasperated. He was surprised when Trowa put a hand on his shoulder. The same Trowa who almost never touched anyone. He blinked. "Friendship takes a lot of faith, Duo. Sometimes you even find the other person trusted you before you knew enough to appreciate it." There was no mistaking the understanding sparkle in Trowa's eyes, even if it didn't make its way to his lips. "However," he said, "it takes more than faith alone."