Corad: Ok, this is my first Star Ocean pointless fic. My sister Bijoux has already written one though...but um...yeah...this was inspired by something which I forget what it actually was, but it's just random idiocy involving a certain Queen, Magistrate and Adray. Please enjoy it somehow...

I don't own Star Ocean and I never will...that's probably a good thing too...

Robelchia

The throne room was calm and peaceful, like everyday. The Queen Romeria sat in the throne; her hands lay on her lap, her face staring in utter boredom towards the back end of the large room. And Magistrate Lasselle stood beside her, his eyes narrow slits and sulking for the queen had just in fact, told him to shut up. How was he meant to know the queen fancied that Fayt boy? If he were queen…errr, I mean King, he would have handed that blue haired troublemaker over instantly to the vendeeni forces, allowing his peace to prevail on. But no, Mrs. "I own the Royal City and everything in it, including you, so shut your big ugly trap hole now before I set my Guards on you!" refused and on top of that, made truce to that Airyglyph scum!

Lasselle kept pondering over these "innocent" thoughts, thinking how wrong it was to join forces with someone who couldn't even bath themselves if their life depended on it. He worried if the Queen had become corrupted in her power, and eyed her wearily from where he stood. But she just continued to sit there in silence, a blank expression on her face. Come on, what was her deal? Why did she want to save that Fayt boy, when she should have saved her dignity and left the war going? It was all a mystery to the Magistrate, and was only proving to get worse.

"Ah, Sir Adray. Glad you could come. Have you finished you mission in the East?" the Queen happily called out across the throne room. Her face looked delighted at Adray's return, and Lasselle started wondering what that old man had that he didn't. It was beginning to bug him, and he demanded an answer. His twitching left eye indicated that.

"Well, somebody sent me on a pointless mission, again, to God knows where. Your Magistrate needs to learn the difference between something of importance, and something which isn't worth the time and effort," Adray said angrily, finally reaching the throne room and standing at the foot of the stairs. Lasselle turned an angry, angry face to the grey haired man, his arms shaking in rage.

"I do not send you on pointless missions! Do not accuse me of such things!" he cried back, pointing a "threatening" finger at Adray. This caused Adray to increase his own personal rage, and stormed up the stairs, stopping mere inches from Lasselle's cowering form.

"That mission! That mission to find the cause of the disappearing gold coins, was pointless! P, O, I, N, T, L, E, S, S! On top of searching the entire kingdom, asking old, defenseless citizens who the heck is stealing all the cash, it turned out to be sissy pixies, which even you would be able to handle!" Adray shouted, prodding a finger in Lasselle's chest.

"Now cease here! That money belonged to the town, so if any pixies are to steal it, they must be punished!" Lasselle boomed after him, shoving Adray back in a feeble attempt. Adray snarled and got the magistrate in a headlock, giving him a noogie.

"After annihilating the entire pixie population in the East, I soon discovered on my way back, the money belonged to the Pixies! The town is to blame!" Adray shouted, strangling Lasselle even more now. The magistrate began whimpering, trying to shove those bulky arms off him. The fight would have continued on, if it hadn't had been for the Queen, glaring at their struggling position beside her, and shouted out. Her loud, murderous voice rang around, and eventually exited out the two large doors at the end, a whole party of Runologists screaming as a result.

"NOW STOP THIS NOW! Two grown men, squabbling like a pack of school children," the queen began, but Adray cut her off.

"Hey, Lasselle never graduated, so technically he is still a school child!" he laughed, enjoying his insult as Lasselle shook under his arm, rage building up again. Romeria growled in irritation, before continuing on her explanation of why their "fighting" was wrong.

"Lasselle, I demand you go back to school and graduate. I cannot have a Magistrate who hasn't officially completed their schooling."

"But my Queen! I have finished! I finished years ago, remember! You were there in the crowd, looking blank and bored than ever!" Lasselle protested, turning a flushed face to his queen. Romeria cast a brief gaze over him, and looked away instantly.

"Be that as it may Lasselle, you are still bickering like a child." Yes, it was true…. but so was the big oaf holding him in a headlock!

"My Queen, please tell this…beast to let go. I'm finding it significantly harder to breath," Lasselle pointed out after Romeria had failed to stop their rioting. Adray laughed again, ruffling up his hair and pulling strands out of his wrapped ponytail. Another twitch of the eye on Lasselle's behalf, but Romeria still sat in silence.

"My Queen?"

"Ah shut it Lasselle! She's not your Queen! She's everybody's queen!" Adray growled, shoving the Magistrate away from him forcefully. Lasselle hadn't expected to get away so easily, and was unprepared as he toppled onto his backside.

"School children must be punished! Unless you redeem yourselves now," Romeria hissed, eyes turned to small slits as her own temper began to rise. She was the queen. The one in complete power and control, and if she wanted two idiots to shut up, then she'd get her way no matter what. "Another word from any of you, and you're fired!"

Those last words hit home. Ringing in a repetitive state around his head, Lasselle clambered to his feet and inched his way over to the throne. "You don't mean that, my Queen? Really, he started it!" he began to protest again, but the death glare Romeria shot at him made him retreat a few steps back.

"Now, silence is the key to virtue. Patience Lasselle," she continued in a mystified voice, her red eyes looking back to the far end of the room. Adray stood still for the first time in his life. He wanted to insult the shrimpy Magistrate further, but after hearing the Queen's words, summarized into "If you piss me off, you're fired" for easy understanding, made him reconsider. It wouldn't really matter if he was fired here and now, coz he knew the Queen would come crawling back. Or she would send Lasselle to come crawling back for her. But the Magistrate on the other hand. Adray guessed he had some infatuation over her or something that she didn't know about.

So an endless amount of time passed in silence, no one dared make a sound or even move. There had only been one other time the Queen had been this mad, and the poor innocent Peterny folk never spoke of that incident again. They'd been scarred for life seeing their very own Queen run through the town screaming in like a raving lunatic, flailing her arms about. When further questioned over the incident, the Queen always denied everything, as if she didn't remember doing it. Unless the "queen" was really Lasselle…. dressed like the "Queen"…

The intense silence was beginning to get to Adray though. Sure, he'd managed to stay civil for about 5 minutes but now it was getting too much. There was a perfectly good opportunity before him to harass the Magistrate stupid, without the fear of him fighting back. He could just see it now, the Queen screaming in slow motion that Lasselle was fired and watching as the grown man broke down in tears…also in slow motion. He was contemplating saying something, when a loud, echoing, roaring noise flooded into the room. Both Adray and Lasselle leapt about a foot into the air, looking around in a panic stricken state to find out what had done it.

There weren't any fiends or monsters about. Woltar wasn't anywhere in sight, and they were pretty sure King Arzie was still back at his own castle, doing those king things he does. To no avail did they find the cause of the roaring sound, and turned to each other, eyebrows raised and faces puzzled. Adray looked as if he was about to mutter something, when the sound happened again, and both faces turned to look at the Queen, hoping for some assistance.

What they saw though, made Lasselle pale instantly, and Adray burst out laughing. It was such a ghastly, un-queen thing to do, but still Romeria was here doing it. After the loud, thunderous belch had ended, she turned a satisfied face to the two men beside her. "Boys, don't ever try to compete with me. I'll crush your feeble attempts," she muttered, turning back to stare at the two large doors.

After a while Adray left laughing, his fist banging into the numerous pillars to help control himself. However, in doing so a few of them cracked and one completely toppled over, some of the roof it was supporting caving in. But once he had gone completely, Lasselle turned to his Queen. "My Queen, why did you let your, uh, graceful etiquette be destroyed by that?" The question had been nagging at him since he'd witnessed her do it, and he needed an answer, even if it mentally killed him and made him lose all respect for his Romeria.

"Lasselle, I'll be plain and honest with you. Even Queens like to let themselves go sometimes, and I happened to have had a big lunch," she replied, getting up off the throne and heading down the stairs, gliding gracefully across the marble tiles. She left the room without another word, also leaving Lasselle to ponder over her words carefully. Maybe his visions of the Queen being like a swan were wrong; because he was pretty sure swans don't belch like that. Or do they?…

Somewhere out in the Aquios lake sat a group of swans, all looking majestic while they waded across the surface of the glistening water. However, you know the drill. All good things must come to an end, and from Lasselle's comparison of Queen Romeria to a swan and then the queen's capable of more than she makes out to be. Well, the swans are just a bird form of our beloved Queen…

END?…

Corad: Well, that was highly pointless lol. Bijoux and I have some weird obsession over Lasselle. Maybe it's a curse...if you enjoyed this story, please review. If you hated it, please review. If you thought it was too idiotic for this fandom, and tell us to bugger off back to Jak and Daxter, then that'll be fine too. Or, if you want another update, then we could do that. We could create one shot idiocies with different ppl lol. But yeah, thanks for reading. Hope ya enjoyed it! Toodles!