Loki climbed up the side of the building, the soft leather soles of his boots scuffing against the cheap siding. He was glad that he was at least in Broxton, and not in New York, where buildings reached to the heavens and gave little in the way of footholds. At least in Broxton, even the tallest buildings were rarely higher than two or three storeys. Though a three-storey climb under the hot, summer's sun was still something of a trying task for a half-giant of the frost persuasion.
He pulled himself up along the gutter spout, digging his fingers into any small indent he could find. The window he needed to pry open was barely an arm's reach away, and hopefully unlocked. There was a small ledge beneath the window, which he thought he might be able to hold onto while he forced himself into the apartment. It was a small matter of leaping from the gutter spout to the ledge, though if he was honest, he could have been quieter about it. He hadn't meant to kick the side of the building, but it had the advantage of proving that the apartment was not empty. He could hear someone moving around inside, which meant he probably wouldn't have to pry the window open after all. He shifted his weight on his arms to free one hand and peered into the dark apartment. He saw no-one, but pounded his fist against the glass all the same.
"I know you're in there! Let me in!" he called out. "Please?"
He pounded on the window some more, losing a bit more of his already-tenuous grip with each strike. When finally the window was thrown open Loki lost what grip remained, and he fell back down to the ground with a startled yelp.
"What are you doing at my window, Loki?" Leah asked, leaning out just enough to see him where he lay on his back.
Loki gave her his winningest smile and sat up. "You weren't answering the door buzzer," he said.
"Because silly me. I thought you'd go away." Leah had moved out of her cave and into Broxton proper after heavy autumn rains had flooded much of the area the year before. More and more Asgardians were starting to leave Asgardia for Midgardian dwellings, and over the years, Broxton had become rather acclimated to their presence. So what if Leah wasn't Asgardian? The humans all thought she was, and from that she was able to find someone willing to rent to her with no documentation, and for payments of fine meats and treasures.
Loki still stayed in Asgardia. Not for any reasons of sentimentality, but because no human alive was willing to rent to him, unless he went very far away. And while he held no love for Asgardia or most of its people, he found himself unwilling to wander far for long.
"Well, I'm still here, as are you. Will you let me up?" Loki asked. He stayed on the ground, hoping not to seem too eager.
Leah took a moment to consider his question. She bit her fingernail as she thought, her eyes eventually wandering back over to the gutter spout.
"You can't come in, but you can sit in the window," she decided.
Loki dashed to his feet, forgetting all about not seeming too eager, and climbed back up the gutter spout. This time he knew where to grip and how to place his feet, and he was up to her window in less than a minute. He pulled himself onto the windowsill, dangling his feet over the side, and leaning back into the apartment.
"The answer is still no," Leah said as she walked away and disappeared into the kitchen.
"Still?" asked Loki. He shook his head. "No, that's not why I'm here. I come with glad tidings!"
"No you don't. You come with a mission." Leah sounded bored already. Loki wondered if he might be able to at least get her to smile by flinging himself from the window again. Looking down at the hard ground below, he wasn't sure it would be worth it.
"Well, that's glad, is it not?" asked Loki. He pushed his hair from his face and craned around to try to see Leah from his perch.
Leah sighed deeply as she returned from the kitchen with a bottle of Asgardian Ale in her hand. When Loki reached out for it, she took a drink and kept right on walking to the chair by the television. "Fine, what is it?" she asked.
"I don't know," Loki admitted. "I haven't actually spoken with the All-mother yet. They only said they wished to speak with me not twenty minutes ago."
Finally, Leah looked directly at him, but it was not with an sense of pleasure. "Then how do you know they mean to give you a mission?" she asked.
Loki shrugged. "Why else would they wish to see me?"
Leah rolled her eyes. "People have oft claimed you to be a genius, but I can't see where they get that idea."
"I've heard there's unrest in Svartalfheim," Loki said, ignoring Leah's insults. He swung his feet around so he was more inside than out. "Do you suppose that's where we are to be sent? I've not yet had to deal with the Dark Elves." He pulled his phone from his pocket and tried to Google Dark Elves, but all he got were hits from fantasy role play games. Nothing he didn't already know, then.
"Why do you think I'm going with you, anyway?" Leah asked.
Loki looked up from his phone, Dark Elves immediately forgotten. "Because you want to. Don't you?" he asked, trying not to sound too hopeful, and failing.
Leah sighed and watched Loki for a long moment. Neither said anything, but Loki did give her his best sad puppy dog eyes. They apparently worked, because Leah sighed again and got up.
"Fine," she said. "I'll meet you downstairs. I have to change."
Before Loki could ask what was wrong with the Midgardian skirt she was wearing, Leah planted her hand on his chest and pushed him back out the window. As he hit the ground, Loki's horned diadem fell off and clattered several feet away. Before he could get up to retrieve it, Thori rushed over from where Loki had left him (one more leash chewed or burnt through, Loki knew) and picked the golden diadem up and ran off with it again.
"Deathripper prevails!" he shouted. "Death to the godling!"
Loki leapt to his feet and chased after the monstrous dog for all the good he knew it would do. When Thori had still been a pup, Loki had foolishly thought he might be able to civilise the creature. Tame it, even. Now Thori was the size of a great Dane and showing no signs of taming, and Loki was stuck with the beast until someone finally put it out of Loki's misery.
"Thori, heel!" Loki called out.
"Make me, godling!" Thori shouted back. "Stop me if you can!"
Thori finally stopped in the middle of the street and dropped the diadem. Before it even happened, Loki knew what to expect next.
"No!" he shouted.
With Loki still paces behind, Thori cocked his leg and peed on the diadem, looking terribly pleased with himself for all a demon dog was able. Loki groaned loudly and stopped running. He stumbled over, frowning in disgust as he grabbed what was left of the chain leash he kept Thori on.
"Bad dog! Bad, bad dog!" he scolded, wagging his finger in Thori's face. Thori snapped at him, and Loki snatched his hand back with a startled yelp.
"Bad dog! Worst dog! Terrible dog!" Thori agreed, pulling hard against the leash. Loki yanked back on it even harder.
"Oh, shut up." Curling his lip in disgust, Loki bent to pick up his diadem, holding it with the very tips of his fingers, lest he be poisoned by hel-dog urine. He wouldn't be making that mistake twice.
"Here, you carry it," he said, thrusting the diadem back into Thori's mouth.
Thori spat it right back out onto the pavement again. "I do no man's bidding!"
"Volstagg's dragon has been looking very hungry lately. It must be terribly difficult to keep a beast like that fed. I'm sure every last morsel would be appreciated." Loki watched smugly as Thori bent to pick the diadem back up. He knew he could never bear to feed even Thori to the dragon, but Volstagg would without hesitation, and had even tried it once. The lasting effect it had on Thori suited Loki rather well at times.
"You should put a strap on that," Leah said from the side of the road. She'd traded the simple black skirt for a long, green dress, simple by Asgardian standards but finer than most Midgardian garments. It was Loki's favourite, though he never voiced that thought.
"And mess up my hair?" asked Loki. His hair was never not a mess, but he never seemed to notice the way it constantly hung in his face. He gave another tug to Thori's leash and led him off the road. The dog grumbled, but followed as Loki began walking down the side of the road toward Asgardia.
"Where's your car?" Leah asked. She fell into step beside Loki, completely ignoring Thori's growling and grumbling about being made to walk on a leash.
Loki looked away and cringed. "You know how they're digging that ditch to lay fibre optic cables, so Asgardia can finally get good internet?"
"Your car's in a ditch," Leah said. It wasn't even a question. It almost sounded like she expected that answer.
"I suppose that's one way to put it." It wasn't even a particularly nice car — just an old Ford that Loki had traded a few pieces of gold for. But now it was a completely useless car until the work crews came back to find it in their way and dragged it out with one of their diggers.
On the plus side, he was pretty sure he saw Leah try to hide a smile, so it wasn't a complete loss. They walked down the empty highway, with Loki doing most of the talking as he rambled on about the DnD group he was in. It was Jeff's turn to DM, and he was surprisingly good at it. Then again, he of most people in Broxton had first-hand experience with creatures of the dark. Leah didn't seem to care either way, but that had never stopped Loki before. Especially when the alternative was walking five miles in awkward silence.
There were no more ruins of fallen Asgard below Asgardia. Loki alone had been sad to see them go, because it meant he had to relocate up to Asgardia proper. He'd liked his crumbling tower, far away from everyone else. He'd had just enough time to salvage his belongings before everything was finally dragged away. Something about restless spirits. Loki hadn't really been paying attention. Now there was just a large dirt patch beneath Asgardia, where grass still struggled to grow. Except for at early dawn and late dusk, the entire area was cast in dark shadow, which had been another reason Loki liked living there. There were countless places to hide, both himself and objects he wished to keep to himself. Now he had his own chambers, which weren't nearly as cramped and precarious, but at the cost of also being easy to get into. But that wasn't where he needed to be at present.
Loki expected to find the All-mother in the throne room, or perhaps one of Asgardia's many stunning gardens, but they were not to be found in either place. Luckily, there was no shortage of people who knew that the All-mother wished to speak with Loki most urgently, leading him finally to one of the old treasure rooms. He pulled Thori as close to a "heel" as he could manage, but he really needn't have bothered. Everything in the large room had been thrown about, with pedestals broken, pillars smashed, and priceless artifacts shattered and crumpled.
"Wow, what happened here?" Loki asked, perhaps a bit more curiously than he should have done.
"That is precisely what we wish to speak with you about, Loki," Freyja said. She stood beside an over-turned chest with Gaea and Idunn on her either side. One side of the chest had been hacked through with some sort of blade, but it was being thrown to the ground which finally caused it to spill its many golden contents across the floor.
Loki was so busy looking around the absolute chaos of the treasure room that it took him a moment to catch Freyja's implication.
"You suspect I did this?" he asked, looking to her suddenly. "I admit, chaos is in my nature, but I do not go around wantonly destroying property because it amuses me. And besides, it could not have been me anyway. I was not even in Asgardia last night."
"I can attest to that," Leah said from behind him. She rarely spoke up for him, and Loki could not help but smile widely when she spoke. Of course, she had to keep speaking after that. "He spent the greater part of last night trying to convince me to have sex with him."
Loki's smile vanished at once as he shot Leah an incredulous glare. Did she really have to mention that part out loud? He'd known he couldn't possibly hide Thori and Leah forever, but he sometimes wished he had managed it.
"Do not think us so foolish, Loki. We know your character well, and you never carry out your own misdeeds," Idunn said.
"Oh, I wouldn't say that. I carry out plenty of misdeeds on my own," Loki said before he could stop himself.
Freyja hummed almost sceptically at that. "You were just in Alfheim last week, were you not?"
Freyja knew that he was, because it was the All-mother who sent him there on a mission most dire.
"I picked up a rather stunning pair of boots, of the seven-league variety there," Loki said. It occurred to him only then that if he'd worn them on his trip into Broxton, getting up to Leah's apartment would have been far less of an ordeal.
"We did not send you to Alfheim to steal from the royal family, Loki," Gaea said sternly. She was always the one to be most patient with Loki, and if she was even annoyed by this, he must have done something very wrong indeed.
It was then that he recognised the chest that had been hacked apart and thrown to the ground. It was of elven construction, and should have been warded against being broken into in such a beastly manner.
"That chest," Loki started almost nervously, for he felt he knew the answer even before he asked the question. "It wouldn't have happened to have once contained any, shall we say, irescued/i pieces of enchanted elvish jewellery or finery, would it? Maybe a crown, perhaps? Of unimaginable power?"
The All-mothers' silence was as good as any confirmation. Loki sighed.
"Yes, I get it. Retrieve the crown before the fallout of my actions dooms us all," Loki said tiredly.
He didn't wait for the All-mother to dismiss him, and with a sharp tug of Thori's leash, he turned to leave. Leah and Thori both followed him as he wound a convoluted path from the treasure room to his chamber. Once the door was securely closed, Loki let Thori off his leash and with the the practise of years, ignored the Hel-dog as it ran about singeing and snapping at everything. Using an old shirt to shield his skin, Loki picked up his diadem from the ground and threw it into the washroom sink (gods bless Tony Stark and his gift of indoor plumbing).
"So, what was stolen in your name this time?" Leah asked. She dodged around Thori, narrowly avoiding the hem of her dress catching fire.
Loki didn't look up as he emptied half a bottle of washing-up liquid into the sink. "A crown of power. Odin seized it early in his reign, when some terrible elf thought he might use it to enslave the Nine. It grants the wearer absolute power over their subjects." He turned on the tap and filled the sink with scalding hot water and a mountain of soap suds.
"How is that any different from any other crown?" asked Leah. She sat down on his bed and picked up the hand-held gaming device from the bedside table. Though she never powered it on, she pressed a few of the buttons anyway.
As long as she didn't mess up any of his saves, Loki didn't care what she did. At the moment, he was too busy removing his leather gloves and rolling up his sleeves so he could scrub every last trace of Hel-dog off his diadem.
"It's not symbolic," he explained. "It literally makes the wearer unable to be challenged by any under the kingdom's rule. Very frightening in its power, but also very sloppy and full of loopholes." He picked up a rag from beside the sink and started scrubbing. The water was a bit too hot, but he feared if it wasn't, he might not get the metal clean enough. "For one, it only protects while it's being worn. For two, it only protects against the kingdom's subjects. Which is how Odin came to have it. The elves never dared even attempt to conquer Asgard, which meant Odin was able to challenge the elves."
"I can see why this would be a problem," Leah said.
"A terribly big problem," Loki agreed. "What concerns me most however, is not the crown, but the chest that held it. I have one under my bed, and they cannot be broken into."
He let the temptation dangle as he continued scrubbing his diadem. Sure enough, Leah's curiosity got the better of her after a few moments, and she dropped down to the floor to pull the chest out from under Loki's bed. It was a small one, with three keyholes on the front, and very securely locked.
"What's in it?" Leah asked.
Loki smirked. "Open it up and see."
She sat back on the bed and tried to pry the latch open with her fingers, but she couldn't even get her fingernails underneath it for leverage. Not a single piece of it so much as wiggled, no matter how hard she tried force it open. Giving up on the brute force, she tried to wind her magic into the locks, searching out the tumblers to force it open, only to receive a sharp jolt of electric pain for her troubles.
"Ow!" she said, dropping the chest to the floor, where it sat innocently.
Loki smirked some more. "It can only be opened with the correct amount of keys in the correct order. You can burn it, smash it, run over it with a Midgardian tank, and it will not open. It's completely breaking-into-proof."
"Then how did the one holding the crown come to be smashed on the floor?" asked Leah.
Loki frowned. "I don't know," he admitted. "There are blades which are so sharp, they can cut through anything. Time, space. Magic. I even know of one nearby. But that chest was not hacked with an executioner's axe. There would be little left if it were."
He pulled his diadem out of the water and shook it off before sliding it back onto his face. Turning round, he gave Leah a toothy smile, though the effect was rather ruined by soapy water dripping down his face.
"Very nice," Leah said flatly. It was clear she didn't mean it, but Loki took it to heart all the same. He put his gloves back on and walked over to the door with long strides.
"What do you say, BFF? Journey with me to Alfheim and save the worlds once more?"
Leah rolled her eyes and stood. "As if I have a choice."
Loki grinned widely. "Of course not. Let's go!"
With Thori locked safely locked away where the only things of worth he could destroy were things Loki had stolen from someone else, Loki and Leah were free to sneak about Asgardia without being seen. They wound through corridors and cut through halls, making an indirect path that wove and doubled back upon itself more than once. Though their mission was an official one, they were still headed for places they were not meant to be; rooms long-since sealed shut to protect the realms from what lie within.
And though the doors may have been sealed by Odin himself, there was one in Asgard who was far more crafty and cunning. Loki of old was long dead, but he had been more crafty than anyone had anticipated, and had left endless clues behind for any new self of his. Evil Loki may have been evil, but at least he hadn't left his younger self without a few notes on how to proceed. It had taken some time to decipher the clues, and there were still many more to be found, but the effort had been well worth it. The ability to be anywhere he wanted, and nowhere he didn't had been perhaps the most useful thing Loki's past self had ever passed down.
"And you should be using it for some grander purpose."
The flutter of wings distracted him from his task, causing him to lose sight of the shadow he was trying to manipulate.
"Shut up. Not now," he muttered.
Beside him, Leah sighed. "I've told you; the bird's not real."
"He is. He's right—" Loki pointed over his shoulder to where Ikol was perched, but the bird had flown off already. "You've frightened him away again."
"Loki," Leah said with a sort of patient exasperation. Loki liked it not one bit.
"Whatever. All girls and birds just stop talking. I have to concentrate." Loki focused again on the shadow on the wall, staring into the untold depths of the small crack between two bricks. This trick got easier each time Loki tried it, but it wasn't even close to becoming second nature yet. He still had to search for that tiny pinprick of absolute blackness in a sea of almost and nearly black. When finally he found it, he reached out to take Leah's hand in his and guided her through the blackness and to the other side. The first time he'd tried that trick, he expected to be surrounded by all number of demons and monsters, but all he found was blackness and more blackness.
The walk through the shadow lasted only a moment, and they were soon on the other side of the wall, inside the sealed vault. The items here were all alive with magic, dark and powerful, and many seemed to be calling out in their silent language. Loki and Leah ignored them as they walked down the centre of the room, giving each plinth as wide a berth as possible. Loki half-expected to hear Ikol's treacherous voice in his ear, but the magpie remained frightened away. And for that, Loki was grateful.
Finally, they came to the object of Loki's search. A once-mighty axe, now broken and crumpled, lay in the shadows in the back of the room. Though it had borne the brunt of Mjolnir's force, it was no dead object.
"I hate this thing," Loki said. He held his hand out just above the axe's blade, not daring to touch touch it. He could feel its energy radiating outward, a dark evil still searching for someone through which to channel its powers. Loki knew, even then, that the axe had not been moved in a very long time.
"I don't like it either," Leah said. She reached her hand out, but Loki quickly reached out and grabbed her wrist.
"Don't touch it. It's evil," he said.
Leah pulled her hand away. "I'm not going to touch it, you idiot. I want to see it."
With a shrug, Loki let her go and watched as she examined the axe with her own magic, keeping her fingertips just a hair's breadth away from the still-gleaming blade.
"No wonder it's evil. There's a soul trapped inside it," she declared.
Loki scoffed. "I hate people who put their souls inside things. Nothing good ever comes of it."
"You have a lot of hate today," Leah said. She stepped away from the axe and looked away from it.
"Yes, well. My dog defiled my horns, and my girlfriend pushed me out a window," Loki reasoned.
"I'm not your girlfriend," Leah said flatly.
"Fine." Loki crouched down to examine the axe more closely. "Well, I was right. This axe was not used to break open the chest. For one, it's still here, and for two, Asgard is not presently in the midst of an insane psycho-killer murder spree."
Leah gave Loki a concerned look. "That's encouraging."
Loki nodded back toward the front of the room and started walking in that direction. "Why does it have a soul in it? I do hope we're not looking for an evil knife powered by the soul of a forsaken child. That would ruin my day."
"No, there were layers of magic in it," Leah said. She matched Loki's strides as they walked back through the room, ignoring as much in it as they could. "The soul is what makes it evil, but I think the ability you spoke of is something separate. It almost felt as if it had been blended of several weapons."
"How very curious." In the dark vault, it was easier to find that spot of pure black and step into it. Loki once more took Leah by the hand and led her back out to the corridor. He stepped out of the shadows and right into something very tall and very solid. And very angry.
"Thor," Loki said, his voice cracking harshly. He blamed it on the surprise of coming face-to-face with Thor so suddenly, cleared his throat, and tried again. "Thor! What brings you to this dusty old corridor?" He tried to move Thor, but somehow just by standing still, Thor made that impossible.
"I would ask you the same question, Loki," Thor said.
Loki considered telling the truth, because Thor never did believe it, and it always annoyed him, but it somehow felt like it would be pushing his luck this time.
"I was, uhm." Loki bit his lip and made himself blush and threw a very quick glance back to Leah. "I just wished to show my ifriend/i some of the treasures. We weren't touching anything! Honest!"
He hunched in on himself, as if trying to make himself seem smaller and less like an acceptable target to hit. And it worked like a charm. Thor sighed and even relaxed his stance.
"There are safer places to show off for your little filly," he said. He grinned and reached out to tousle Loki's hair, from which Loki leaned away just enough to be playful. Loki didn't even have to be looking at her to know Leah was glaring at him. He could ifeel/i it.
"Go. You should not be here," Thor said. He finally stepped out of the way, and Loki wasted no time in leaving before Thor changed his mind.
"You bastard," Leah said as soon as they were out of earshot.
"What? He was most annoyed," Loki defended. "If he knew why we were in there, I would have been little more than a smear on the wall. He trusts me less and less these days."
"Does that have anything to do with you being more and more of a jackass?" Leah asked.
Loki frowned and ignored her. He walked back up toward his chambers, cutting a more direct path this time. He stopped at his door and pressed his ear against it, listening for the sounds of Thori destroying his things. He heard nothing, so either the dog was alseep, or had escaped again.
Maybe if Loki was very lucky, Thori would have escaped into Volstagg's dragon kennel.
Either way, it sounded safe to enter, so Loki unlocked the door and slipped inside. Loki was not lucky, for Thori had torn up the bed again and was sleeping in a pile of down feathers.
"Why are we back here?" Leah asked quietly.
Loki held up a silencing finger and snatched up his stolen boots. With a quick check to make sure Thori was still asleep, he shooed Leah back out to the corridor and locked the Hel-dog back inside.
"Well, there's hardly a mystery here, is there? The crown was taken because I stole these boots last week," Loki explained with a cocky grin. "We'll take them back and request that they return the crown for safe-keeping. Simple!"
Leah frowned. "Then why did we go to the vault, if you already had a plan?"
Loki shrugged. "I don't know how the chest was broken into. Perhaps we can ask when we return the boots."
Leah was less than impressed, and didn't even try to hide it. She stared blankly at Loki, as if waiting for more of an explanation. When none came, she waved him on. "Go on, then. Let's go to Alfheim."
Loki grinned widely and spun on his heel. "You'll love it. It's absolutely terrible. It's great!"
"Which is it?" Leah asked, shaking her head and trying not to sigh.
"Terrible-great!" Loki said.
This time, Leah did sigh. The two of them walked through Asgardia to where Yggdrasil stood, like a mighty sentinel watching over all of creation. It was always the most difficult part of these schemes and missions the All-mother sent Loki on. Not the travelling, exactly, but getting to that point. Yggdrasil wasn't exactly guarded, but it was constantly watched, and by more than just Heimdall. After years of schemes with Yggdrasil itself used as a tool or a weapon, more than just Asgardia were wary of Loki travelling between the realms.
Not that the wariness of others ever stopped him, nor would it now. Confident no-one had seen their approach, Loki and Leah took to the mighty ash's boughs with the ease that comes with years of practise. Knowing right where he needed to be, Loki didn't even have to search for the right branch. They climbed out over one of the lower branches as far as they could before leaping off it, one after the next.
While they leapt from high above the Oklahoma plain, they landed with hardly any force in a sprawling meadow, full of flowers and honeybees. Alfheim was cloying with its oneness with nature. Everything was in bloom, and birds and small woodland creatures tittered about, heedless of any who walked the paths below. It rather gave Loki the impression that any one of the bright, colourful flowers would suddenly spring to life and devour him where he stood.
"No devouring today, please," he said aloud.
"What?" asked Leah.
Loki pointed at a large pod-like plant, with pink and yellow leaves sticking out in every direction. "I am fairly certain I saw one of these in some cinematic feature recently. It was not terribly friendly."
He gave the plant a wide berth, not taking his eyes off it until he was well beyond the plant's theoretical reach.
"So, what's the plan?" Leah asked, frowning at a squirrel that was behaving far too friendly toward them. She tried to shoo it away with her foot, but it did little to actually frighten the animal away. If anything, it only made it more curious about them. "Are we really going to just walk in and offer to trade the boots you stole from them for the crown Odin stole from them?"
Loki gaped exaggeratedly at her. "Of course we are. How can it possibly fail?"
They quickly came to a path that led through the cheery little forest, where cheery little birds perched on cheery little branches and sang cheery little songs. It was like being stuck in an obnoxiously musical Disney movie.
"How does anyone live here?" Leah asked.
Loki looked up at a bird and frowned at it. "Ear plugs," he suggested. "Whoever started the first company which produced them must be a billionaire. The realm has its nicer qualities, though. I assure you. When they figured out what chocolate is, they began making German and Swiss chocolates look like kitchen accidents. They have some of the best ale houses as well."
"Perhaps it's not so bad. You're going to get us some, right?" Leah said as she inspected a frighteningly large fern.
Loki grinned widely at her and jogged ahead. "Come on! It's just this way!"
Leah followed after, not quite making an effort to keep pace, but not wanting to fall too far behind, either. The path through the forest led down a gentle hill to a magnificent city below, nestled between the mountains, and built over a wide river. The entire city was one giant bridge across the river, with each stone cut and laid so perfectly that everything appeared to be carved from a single mountain.
"Can you swim?" asked Loki stiffly.
Leah glanced over at him. "Yes. Why?"
"Good." Loki said nothing more and marched with purpose down the hill and to the city.
Loki and Leah made it no further than the eastern gate. Loki's plan of simply walking in was halted by a guard in a royal uniform, with gold stitching and ribbons against white fabric. Loki grinned up at him and bowed facetiously.
"We wish to speak with King Halfi," Loki said.
"Go away," the guard told him.
Loki's smile didn't even falter. "I'm afraid this matter is of utmost importance, from the All-mother herselves. It concerns the matter of artifacts stolen from Alfheim, both recently and in the distant past."
Loki held up the boots he'd stolen and nudged Leah hopefully. Leah nudged him back, a bit harder, but the guard saw none of it because he was too busy rolling his eyes.
"So, you see, my speaking with King Halfi is in everyone's mutual interest," Loki continued.
Before Loki could say any more, the guard grabbed him by the arm and pulled him through the gate. Loki put on a good show, stumbling and struggling to keep up, and occasionally actually stumbling and nearly falling to the ground as he struggled to keep up. Leah walked along beside them, quietly curious to see where this would lead, and contemplating leaving Loki behind if he got thrown into the dungeons. At least for a few days, anyway.
The guard brought them to the large throne room. The ceiling above was a high dome, with intricate molten-gold knots painted on the white stone. The guard shoved Loki forward so that he stumbled, but Loki recovered easily and made a show of dusting off his shoulders and straightened his horns on his forehead.
"Halfi," Loki greeted happily.
Halfi's gaze fell immediately to the boots Loki held.
"Experiencing a touch of guilt, Loki?" he asked with a smug smirk.
"Almost always, but not right now," Loki said candidly. He lifted the boots to look at them before handing them over to Leah. "You're very busy, I'm sure, so I'll be brief. I have been sent to return that which I borrowed without permission, in exchange for the return of the Skullgaffer's Crown."
Halfi's eyebrows rose to almost impossible heights, though the rest of him remained perfectly neutral.
"… Which you didn't realise was missing until just now," Loki guessed aloud.
Halfi clicked his tongue and shook his head. "And you think I took it?" he asked.
"No," said Loki. "I was going on the assumption that you sent someone else to take it. Are you sure that's not what happened?"
"Even if it were," said Halfi slowly as he stepped closer to Loki. Loki backed away to stand next to Leah, but Halfi continued walking closer, stopping only a step away from them. "We would have only been reclaiming that which Asgard had stolen from us first."
"Asgardia," Loki corrected.
"Is it, now?" asked Halfi. He reached out and took the boots from Leah and turned his back to both of them. "Thank you for returning these, at least. Now leave this realm and do not come back."
Loki pouted at Halfi's back, too put out to even share jabs with him.
"Was that what was supposed to happen?" asked Leah.
"No," said Loki. He glanced over to the guards, who seemed eager to throw them both out of the palace. "Let's go. Something's not right." He walked out of the throne room before any of the guards could throw him out, focused more on what had just happened than where he was going.
—
Leah didn't like to stay in Asgardia much longer after sundown, and Loki couldn't really fault her for it. He didn't like to stay in Asgardia either, but he had few other places to go. He told himself that was the reason he still kept Thori. With such an unpleasant dog around, no-one would be foolish enough to try to break into his rooms while he slept.
Whether that was the case, or simply because no-one could be bothered, he wasn't actually sure. But he liked to think that if he was going to inspire emotion in his peers, they would at least be strong enough emotions that they might want to try to break into his rooms.
Loki lay on his still-torn-up bed, looking up at the ceiling while Thori chewed and clawed at the chest Loki ordinarily kept under his bed. After two hours of trying to break into it using every means of magic he knew, Loki grew tired of his own spells backfiring on him, and he threw the chest to the ground in defeat. Thori was all too happy to try to tear the thing apart, but if his occasional yelps were anything to go by, the chest also bit back.
A heavy knock suddenly came from the door, followed by Thor calling out Loki's name.
"What?" Loki called back.
Almost cautiously, Thor pushed open the door and peered inside. He paused briefly at the threshold, and then let himself in.
"Where is that little filly of yours?" he asked.
"My what?" asked Loki. He shook his head when he realised. "She went home, like she always does."
"Oh." Thor didn't seem to know what to make of that, which was fine, because Loki didn't either. Not really. Thor invited himself over and sat down on the edge of the bed, resting Mjolnir by his feet. He looked over like he was about to say something, but quickly became side-tracked when he saw the magic burns, etched like lightning bolts, running along Loki's fingers and up his hands and wrists.
"Loki, what have you done to yourself?" Thor asked.
Loki shrugged tiredly and waved a hand at Thori, who snarled and yelped in rapid succession. "We're trying to break into my chest," Loki explained.
Thor frowned in that way he did when he didn't understand what was said to him. "Have you lost the keys?" he asked.
"No. I just wanted to see if it could be done." Loki studied the magic burns on his hands, fairly certain that the answer was a very firm 'no.'
Thor's frown didn't fade, but he did get up and walk over toward Thori. The dog growled at him, but quickly backed away when Thor raised his fist threateningly. Thor picked up the small chest and brought it back over to Loki. It was completely free of any evidence of having been used as a chew toy by a Hel dog. Loki took the chest from Thor and turned it over in his hands, hoping to find any sign of strain or weakness, but it looked like it had the day it first came into his possession. Loki shifted his gaze between the chest and Thor, wondering if he was having one of his dumber ideas. Finally, he handed it back to Thor and nodded.
"Try it," he said.
Thor looked down at the chest. "Here? Are you certain?" he asked.
There was plenty of space, even with all of the clutter Loki had accumulated over the last few years. "Why not," he said. "What's the worst that could happen?"
With a shrug, Thor stood and picked up Mjolnir again. He walked to the centre of the room and put the chest down on the ground. Loki sat up curiously, eager to see what would happen, and thinking it might even be worth the awkward conversation that would follow if Thor managed to succeed in breaking into the chest. Thor turned so that he faced Loki, with the chest on the floor between them, and hefted Mjolnir in his hand. Loki bit his lip and grinned eagerly, which only seemed to bolster Thor's eagerness. Grinning as well, Thor raised Mjolnir and brought the hammer down on the chest with a force that could crush even an Asgardian's skull. But rather than smashing the chest into a million pieces, the force of the impact was echoed back, shooting energy out in all directions. It threw Thor back, sending him crashing into a desk and breaking it in two. Loki was thrown from his bed and into the far wall, along with Thori, who ran and hid as soon as he found his feet again.
Loki pulled himself up, leaning on the edge of the bed to keep his balance. Still sitting in the middle of the room was the chest, as if the entire room had not just been nearly blown to pieces.
"It's still there, Thor," he said.
Thor staggered to his feet, kicking part of the desk away. "Damned elven magic," he said, stalking toward the chest. He kicked the chest across the room and nodded smugly.
Loki sighed. "Well, that was informative," he said, not even sure if he was being sarcastic or not.
Thor chuckled and sat back down on the bed. "I don't know what you're up to this time, Loki. I know it can't be good, and I think I should be glad that your experiment failed."
Loki rolled his eyes. "Just because I am curious about a matter doesn't mean I am up to something."
Thor only smirked knowingly at him.
"All right fine. I'm up to something. But it's nothing terrible, I promise," Loki said. "And it would be over a lot sooner if my experiment had worked."
Thor reached out and rested his hand on the back of Loki's neck. "Then I am glad it failed," he said fondly. He ruffled Loki's hair and got up again.
Loki leaned away and batted a hand out. "Clean up this mess you made."
"It was your experiment. You clean it," Thor said. He walked out of the room, leaving Loki unsure if he should be annoyed or not. Mostly, he was annoyed that he hadn't been able to get Thor to clean up the mess that had already been there, let alone the one Thor had made.
With Thor gone, Loki got up again and walked over to inspect the chest. It hadn't a scratch on it, neither from Mjolnir nor from being kicked across the room. He tapped his fingers on the polished wood of its lid while he thought. Magic didn't work. Neither did brute force. But he wasn't yet out of options. He took the chest back over to his bed and opened one of the drawers beside it. It was full of all manner of junk and trash, but amid the video game disks and old Snickers wrappers, Loki found a small leather pouch. He unrolled it and laid it out, taking a moment to find just the right pick to use on the locks. He wasn't even sure if the locks themselves were magic, but he supposed he'd find out soon enough.
He took the most delicate of his tools and slowly worked them into the centre lock. Nothing immediately shocked or stung him, and he could feel the tumblers inside yielding easily to the thin wires he used to pick the lock. But no matter how carefully he worked, or how sure he was he'd finally arranged everything, he never managed to make everything click into place. It was almost as if the lock itself was fluid, and constantly shifting against him.
Finally, he gave up and tossed his tools back down with the rest. At a loss for other options, Loki peered into the lock, but saw nothing on the inside. Just blackness. He cast a cautious glance around him then, as if anyone might be watching. He found only Thori, chewing on Loki's only other pair of boots.
"Open," he commanded it. Somehow, he wasn't entirely surprised that nothing happened.
"Alakazam. Abracadabra. Hocus Pocus. Open sesame. I command you to open!" Still nothing happened.
"You stupid piece of junk," he grumbled as he tossed it aside. The chest bounced easily across his bed and sat there as if it hadn't indirectly become the biggest pain in his neck all week.
He was out of options and he knew it. Almost out of options. Out of options he was willing to pursue. He wasn't quite desperate enough to go grab the Bloodaxe and hack his way into the chest just to prove that he could. Yet.