Ashes of the Phoenix test excerpt
"And now, Ballista exclaimed gleefully, "to end this duel!"
Bridget: 100
Ballista: 4800
"I activate Cannon Soldier's effect and tribute him to inflict 500 points of Direct Damage to you!"
Turning, the cannoneer monster lit the wick of his enormous weapon and prepared to launch his final fusillade. "Not today, Ballista!" Bridget shouted. "I activate the Trap Card known as…Divine Wrath! By discarding one card from my hand, I can negate the effect of one Effect Monster on the field and destroy it!" A crackling portal opened in the sky, swirling with storm clouds and emitting hot bolts of lightning. With a sound like ripping paper, a massive shaft of electricity slammed into the Cannon Soldier, igniting the explosive shell within his cannon and tearing him apart in a loud explosion. "Not my Soldier!" Ballista cried feebly. "And it gets worse", Bridget continued. "When a Counter Trap such as Divine Wrath successfully negates one of your cards, I can Special Summon one of my favorite monsters straight from my hand. Join me in welcoming the conduit of your demise! Greet Van'Dalgyon the Dark Dragon Lord!"
A chilling roar echoed throughout the empty arena as an extradimensional gash was torn open by a stray bolt of divine lightning. An ebony hand grasped the side of the rift – if it could be called a hand! A miasma of darkness issued from the rift, masking the entrance of a demonic creature. As the black mist slowly dissipated, the creature was revealed. A towering humanoid dragon appeared, wreathed in the last clinging folds of the darkness, menacingly powerful. His veins were outlined in crimson, a sapphire adorned either shoulder, with a single large one placed upon his brow, and his curved leathery wings resembled a cape (2800/2500). Gazing down at Ballista with cruel soul-piercing yellow eyes, the Lord spoke but a single word – "Doom". Despite himself, Ballista could not suppress a small shudder; although he knew that the Solid Vision hologram could not physically hurt him, its appearance was frightening nonetheless. "And there's mo-ore…" Bridget said teasingly. "When Van'Dalgyon is Special Summoned after one of my Counter Traps negates one of my opponent's Spells, Traps, or Monster Effects, it gains a special effect. However, the only one you need to worry about right now is what happens since I negated your Cannon Soldier's effect. Guess wha-at? I get to Special Summon one card from my Graveyard to the field, and it's going to be the one I discarded to activate Divine Wrath – the one, the only, Blue-Eyes White Dragon!"
A roar ten times louder than that of Van'Dalgyon seemed to shake the ground beneath the duelists' feet as the most well known and rarest monster in Duel Monsters fell from the heavens to land with a deafening THWUMP! Ballista gasped and paled as the dragon's cold eyes swung to focus on him (3000/2500). "Wh-Where did you get that c-card? There are only 3 in the entire world, and all 3 belong to only one person!" Ballista stammered, shaken. Bridget smirked. "It's funny that you mentioned that, Billy. There's a special story behind this, but you don't need to know what it is." A wicked smile seemed to flicker on the dragon's lips before it roared again, causing Ballista's eyes to slit and his hair to wave from the powerful wind that was generated. Bridget's lip curled, her eyes as cold as flint as she spat "End your last pathetic turn, you spineless coward. You'll pay for trying to blackmail me." Ballista couldn't help but notice that his hands were trembling, but as he examined his hand, a weak smile appeared on his face. "Very well" he said, as he set one facedown. "I end my turn".
Bridget's face was full of grim concentration as drew a card. Then confusion, no indecision flitted over her face as she examined it. Closing her eyes, she seemed to deliberate for a second, then she declared "I summon Mirage Dragon in Attack Mode". A long golden dragon appeared in a flash of light. Parts of its body were see-through while other parts appeared solid. A curved crest sat on its head like some strange hat. It let out a reedy screech as it glared at Ballista (1600/600). "You were right, Ballista. It is time to end this duel! Mirage Dragon, Blue-Eyes White Dragon, Van'Dalgyon the Dark Dragon Lord, attack him directly for the win!" Mirage Dragon arched its neck as golden energy gathered in its throat. Blue-Eyes White Dragon winked at him, that same wicked smile surrounding the blue-white energy that was barely contained within its mouth. Van'Dalgyon's sapphires lit up one by one, as the lines of red tracing his veins dimmed and jet-black fire began to lick at the corners of its mouth. As all three dragons unleashed their attacks, Ballista straightened, yelling defiantly "I activate the Trap Card Magic Cylinder, which reflects your attack and deals the damage to you instead!" As the holographic Trap began to rise, it was suddenly surrounded by a golden light that prevented it from activating. "What?" Ballista cried. "What happened to my Trap?" Bridget smirked again. "You are as much a fool as a coward, Billy. Mirage Dragon's special effect prevents my opponent – namely you – from activating any Traps during the Battle Phase!" Glancing at the translucent dragon, Ballista noticed that its crest was indeed radiating the same golden light that was holding his Trap in place.
"I-impossible", he said as he dropped to his knees. "I was winning. I had the perfect combo with Red-Eyes Darkness Dragon, Metamorphosis, Master of Oz, and my Catapult Turtle. How could I lose?" he cried as the three attacks struck him (1600 + 3000 + 2800 = 7400). Once the sudden wind that was generated had died down, Ballista was stretched out on the ground, barely conscious, surrounded by his scattered cards. Sneering, Bridget said "You never really had a chance of winning, Ballista. Only those who duel with courage or honor or for an honestly good reason win anyway. Those who win by any other way do not win at all. Besides, you should have known not to try to use my own dragon against me." Deactivating her Duel Disk, she scooped up her Red-Eyes and Red-Eyes Darkness Dragons and the Master of Oz that belonged to Duel Academy's old boxing instructor, turned, and exited the arena. Those with the gift of true sight would have noticed the Blue-Eyes White Dragon that turned grinning with her, a growling chuckle issuing from its throat.
-END
Well, this is just a test to see what you guys think of my writing style. What do you think? Do I talk too much? Do use too many big words? Do I space my sentences incorrectly? Tell me what you think! If I get enough positive feedback, I'll get started writing the actual thing (yep, I just came up with this section on a hot day at my uncle's house lol). R & R!