Monday
11:15pm
Elizabeth's eyes shot open. The lights were off, and her throat felt so dry. She started to cough and gag, realizing she was in a hospital bed. Where was Henry? Why was she in the hospital? Why did everything hurt?
Two nurses came running into the room. "You have to breathe Madam Secretary, then I'll take out the tube"
She was terrified. Bess had no idea what was going on. Then she saw Henry appear.
"It's okay babe. Just breathe." As he spoke she calmed down. His eyes worried and his face showing so much concern.
One of the nurses slid the tube out of her throat and the other offered her some water. Everything hurt. She still had no idea why the lights were off and she was lying in a hospital bed but she knew her head was pounding.
"Are you in any pain?" Henry was so worried about her, did she really look that awful?
"I'm okay"
Henry climbed into bed next to her, gently scooting her close and running his fingers through her blonde hair.
"Are you comfortable?" Henry whispered though they were alone in the room. His voice, normally soothing, made her head hurt worse. She winced slightly as he spoke, but Henry noticed and immediately lowered his voice further. "Sorry babe is that too loud?"
"No, it's okay. What's going on?" She was lying about the pain but didn't want to worry Henry more.
"How much do you remember?"
"I remember being in Iran, which Minister Jiavani, then there was an explosion, and gunfire." She tried to push herself to a sitting position but felt weak. They must have her on some medication. She was so tired and felt as though she could fall asleep talking to him. Henry of course noticed and slid his arm around her.
"It's okay babe we can talk later, let's just go to sleep for now."
Tuesday
6:42am
When she finally woke up again, it was still dark in the room. Bess could tell it was morning though due to the light peeking through the curtains. She could hear Henry snoring next to her and moved slightly to reach the remote that controlled the bed. Carefully, she raised the bed so she was in a sitting position and felt Henry begin to stir.
"You okay babe?"
"Yea, just want to sit up."
"You in any pain?"
"I'm fine" She was lying, her head was pounding and her back was hurting.
"I know you're fine but do you want more pain meds?"
"No I'm good. So when can we go home?" She wanted so bad to be back in her bed, in her clothes with her husband.
This question made Henry chuckle a little, he knew she was in pain and she had only been in here for two days, but of course she wanted to go home and get back to work. "Soon, the doctors should let us know today. Don't you want to know what's wrong with you?"
"Yea. I was going to ask yesterday but the stuff they have me on makes me so tired."
"I know, but they are helping you heal. So you have a bad concussion from your head hitting the ground, that's why the lights are off and everyone is talking so quiet, the sound and light will bother your head. Also, you have bruised bones in your hips and back from Fred and the bomb behind you. Finally, you broke ribs when you fell. One punctured your lung, that's why you were intubated when you first woke up."
Whoa, I guess that fall was harder then she thought. It would have been much worse though had Fred not saved me. She thought about the room where this all went down, Abdul yelling for his father, Fred pinning her to the ground.
"Babe." "Bess" Elizabeth!" He shook her softly and she snapped back to reality. "Are you okay?"
"Yea sorry. I just—" Just then the Doctor entered the room.
"Sorry to disturb you. I just wanted to see how you were doing and talk to you about your injures. So I was looking at your x-rays and I do not think you will need surgery. However, You will be on bed rest for 2 weeks with very light walking if any at all. Then you can begin to move a little bit around the house. You cannot return to work full time for at least 4 weeks. Even then, you will have to take it easy. You will need to follow up with you doctor in two weeks to make sure everything is running smoothly and you are healing well. Any questions?"
"Um…" She was at a loss for words. Two weeks on bed rest. Four weeks before she can go back to work. "Can I work from home on bed rest?" Maybe the State Department can come to me, it wouldn't be ideal but at least then I could get some work done.
"As little as possible for the first few weeks. You can work for emergency reasons, I know that your job is very important but you could definitely use the break, especially with this concussion."
"I will make sure she does." Henry chimed in. I almost forgot that he was even here, if he hadn't been holding my hand, I wouldn't have noticed. "Thank you doctor."
"No problem. The nurse will bring the discharge papers in a couple minutes so you can get out of here. Hope you feel better Madam Secretary."
They sat silently until the nurse came in with the discharge papers, not having anything else to say.
12:41pm
Matt, her DS agent, opened the car door and Henry helped her out. It was still painful for her to walk even with the pain meds, and it would until the bone bruises started to heal. It's weird not having Fred open the door, he never will again, because of me. She thanked her DS agents and let Henry half-carry her into the house. Bess wasn't even thinking about her actions, as if on autopilot.
"Mom!" Her children came running down the stairs and hugged their mother. Henry quickly shut off the lights in the house in an effort to ease the headaches that would likely incur.
"Shhhhhh, you have to whisper and be careful guys" Henry was worried their loud voices and hugs would hurt Bess more than if they waited until she was in bed or on the couch.
"Are you guys hungry? I made lunch, broccoli and cheddar soup." Stevie whispered attempting to be helpful though she could see how exhausted both her parents were.
"Could you just bring a bowl up for your mother and I? We are going to go up and take a nap. Thanks." But before Stevie could answer, he led Bess towards the stairs. Henry could tell she was exhausted and the pain meds were starting to wear off. Although she would never admit it, he could tell that she was in a lot of pain. He half-led, half-carried her up the stairs, knowing she wouldn't want to be carried but trying to take as much weight off her body as possible.
When they finally got to the bedroom, her energy was drained. She pushed away from him and started towards the bathroom. He gave her a little space, knowing that she wanted her independence, but then followed her into the bathroom.
Bess was trying to put on her pajamas but was having difficulty. She almost fell but Henry caught her arm, steadying her.
"Let me help." She sighed, upset that she needed help but accepting it due to her fatigued state. He helped her dress, and get ready for bed, before leading her to the bed. She stopped to pick up her iPad but he grabbed her arm.
"No screens. Your brain needs to rest. Especially if you are planning on checking emails. Just get into bed." The doctor warned him about screens slowing the healing time and he knew she would just respond to emails. It would just stress her out and she didn't need that right now. What she needed was sleep.
She slid under the covers and rolled over so her back was to Henry. Bess didn't want him to see her upset, she just couldn't get the image of Abdul out of her head. Though he was going to ask, she really wasn't ready to talk, but she couldn't sleep either.
Henry walked back into the bathroom to get ready for bed and give Elizabeth some space. He knew it would take time before she felt ready to talk about it, but she needed to release some of the tension she was feeling. He could tell how upset and frustrated she was, not only about the injuries, but the whole situation.
When he walked back in the bedroom, she looked as if she had fallen asleep. If he didn't know better, he would have thought she was, but her breathing was uneven like she was crying. He climbed into bed and pulled her close to him, spooning from the back. Her body was tense, holding back all the emotions she had been feeling since the explosion.
"You can cry babe, let it all out. I know that was terrible, you need to let out your emotions."
She didn't move. "I'm fine, just tired. Let's just go to sleep." Even though I can't sleep. Abdul probably can't sleep either. He will likely need therapy after seeing his father killed…. And Fred.
4:29pm
When Henry opened his eyes, Bess was staring at the ceiling.
"Honey, are you okay? Do you need the pain meds?" Worry immediately washed over him. How long had she been awake? Had he been so tired he didn't notice that she was in pain?
"No, I'm okay. Just couldn't sleep."
Henry's stomach growled loudly. They forgot about dinner. He looked over his shoulder at the bowls of soup on the nightstand. Maybe some food would get her back to sleep.
"Do you want some soup?"
"Sure." She didn't realize how hungry she was. Henry pulled her upright and slid behind her to hold her up. Bess frowned, she didn't like when Henry babied her. She knew he liked to take care of her, but she was capable of sitting up by herself. She was too tired to object though, so she just decided to let Henry hold her up for a while.
They ate together in bed for a while before Henry noticed she was starting to fall asleep. He put the bowls back down on the nightstand and pushed a pillow between them, then pulled her small frame up to position them to sleep. He thought this would be more comfortable for her then lying down because it didn't but pressure on her hips or back which were still causing her pain. Bess' breathing began to even out and she fell asleep in his arms.
7:45pm
Henry woke to the sound of vomiting. He rushed out of bed and into the bathroom to find Elizabeth bent over the toilet and the shower running. He rubbed her back and held her hair until she was finished. Then helped her lean back against the cabinet to catch her breath.
"What happened?"
"I tried to take a shower but it was too much and before I knew it I started throwing up."
"Why didn't you wake me?" He already knew the answer. She didn't want help, but she is just out of the hospital, she should have woken him.
"I can take a shower by myself. I have been doing it for many years." She was more upset with her lack of abilities then with him but all the anger with the situation was coming out towards Henry.
"I know babe but you're injured, you are going to have to slow down and let me take care of you."
"I don't want you to take care of me!" she started to raise her voice but immediately quieted down, the increase in volume made her head pound.
Henry put his hand on her shoulder. "I know, but you are going to have to live with it for a while." He slipped his hand under her arm and pulled her to a standing position. "Let's get back in bed." They walked to the bed silently. That was the most conversation he had had with Elizabeth since the explosion and she still hadn't really talked yet. If she doesn't find some way to release all her tension and relax, she is going to explode at the wrong time.
She got into bed slowly, careful not to put too much weight on either hip with him following.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I can't push her too hard or she will shut me out completely.
"It was dark, after the explosion, everything was in shambles but it was a kind of darkness that I have never experienced. I was afraid I was still there when I woke up in the dark hospital room."
He stayed silent, knowing she wasn't done. "I thought about you and the kids the whole time. I wanted so bad to come home to you guys. The thought that I might not get to come home scared me. If Fred hadn't thrown himself in front of the bullets, it could have been me coming home in a box." That last part didn't settle well with either of them.
"You're home now babe."
Jiavani and Fred aren't. They will never come home to their families again. "I can't stop seeing Abdul's face, screaming for his father. I wanted to shield him from everything, but I couldn't, Fred was on top of me and I couldn't move." She rolled to her back and looked at the ceiling. His hand went to her stomach, drawing her from her thoughts.
"It isn't your fault, you saved so many lives by risking your life and going to Iran." Henry wanted to take all her pain and grief away. She looked so tired but he knew she wasn't able to sleep. "Come here" He pulled her to him but felt her wince and immediately let go. "What hurts?" Concern washed over his features.
"I'm just sore. It's okay." Henry knew Bess was lying. She admitted she was sore which meant she was in more pain then she was letting on. He wanted to help but didn't know how without knowing what was causing her pain. He pushed himself over her, careful not to put any weight on her aching body.
"Babe I know you too well for that, tell me" She squirmed slightly under him. He realized she probable wasn't comfortable having anyone over her after Fred. He slid back to his side but didn't take his eyes off her.
"My hips are a little stiff, and my back is sore." Bess hated to admit weakness. She never complained to Henry about pain or took any medication, she would normally just push through the pain and pretend it wasn't there. This was different kind of pain though, one she had never felt before.
"How about a warm bath? That would help with the soreness." Finally, now I can help her.
Wednesday
7:13am
"Good morning. How are you feeling?" Henry watched Bess' eyes blink to adjust to the light coming through the curtains.
"Better"
That was a lie. I don't even have to read her face to know that she is in pain. Who does she think she is talking to? I have known this woman for over two decades. Doesn't she know that I can read her mind.
Henry looked into her blue eyes, he could get lost in there. He has gotten lost in her eyes, but right now, all he sees is pain and frustration. He knew she was hurting, no madder how much she denied it.
Against Elizabeth's objections, Henry decided to take the day off and keep an eye on her, making sure she took it easy. He brought breakfast up to Bess in bed to limit the amount of moving she did. Henry discovered she was not in bed but rather down the hall in Jason's room, picking up socks. He led her back to their room and into bed. Bess turned on the tv to the news channel and Henry quickly took the remote.
"You don't need to watch that. Eat." He flipped to Last Man Standing, knowing she loved that show and snuggled in next to her. As the show ended, Henry noticed she hadn't eaten much.
"Not hungry babe?"
"What? Sorry."
"I asked if you weren't hungry. Your mind is a million miles away though."
"Sorry honey. No, I'm not really that hungry."
Henry went downstairs to put the dishes in the sink and returned to find his wife gone again. He cleaned up a little before going to search for her. He found Bess standing in the office, looking through a pile of documents on the desk. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and felt her tense under him. He grabbed her hands and pulled her away from the desk.
"Go plant your butt on that couch, you are supposed to be on bed rest. Let's watch a movie. I'll make popcorn" He wanted to get her off her feet and her mind on something besides work. She was not supposed to be doing anything but lying in bed and healing but she was wondering the house when he left the room.
15 minutes into the movie, Bess had fallen asleep against his chest. He hoped she would stay that way for some time, knowing she hadn't slept well last night.
10:34am
Bess woke to a sharp pain in her back. She jumped at the sudden outbreak, alerting Henry. He knew something wasn't right because she didn't move but rather looked frozen.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know."
"Are you okay?"
"I don't know." He was worried. Henry had never seen her like this before, unsure and hurting. It scared him.
"Do you want to go to the hospital?" He knew the answer to that, she hated the hospital.
"No"
"I'm going to get you some ice." He slid from behind her and carefully leaned her back against the couch. When he got to the kitchen, he picked up the phone and called the doctor. If Elizabeth didn't want to go to the doctor, the doctor would have to come to her.
1:43pm
"The doctor told you to stay in bed." Henry said as he watched Elizabeth get out of bed.
"I know, I am just going to the bathroom" I feel like an invalid. I hate this.
She started to feel lightheaded and grabbed the door frame to steady herself. Henry rushed to her but she held out her hand and attempted to keep going. She took a couple steps and fainted, falling into Henry's arms. He laid her down on the bedroom floor.
"Elizabeth." Come back to me. Come back to me. What is happening?
She eventually opened her eyes to a concerned Henry.
"Thank god. Elizabeth, you scared the hell out of me."
"I'm fine."
"You're not fine, you fainted."
"I'm so tired."
"Okay, let's get you in bed."
He carried her to the bed and pulled the covers over her. Stepping into the bathroom, he got some water for Bess and dropped a Xanax into the water. He watched it dissolve as the doctor told him to. After Bess had been checked out by the doctor, he gave Henry a bottle of Xanax for when Elizabeth broke down or needed to sleep. Henry took a deep breath. That was terrifying. She would kill him if she found out he gave her meds. She needs to stay put. It's doctor's orders.
To his relief, Bess was still lying in bed when he returned. She looked exhausted. Henry handed Bess the glass and waited until she drank the entire thing before taking the glass back to the bathroom.
When he walked back into the bedroom, she was sitting against the headboard reading a book. He crawled into bed and took the book from her hands.
"Hey" She gave him a dirty look. Those deep blue eyes always melted his heart but he had to stand strong for her to get better.
"Go to sleep."
"I'm not tired."
Yes you are. That was a lie, and not a very good one. You can do better than that ex-CIA. "Please, please just go to sleep so that you can get better."
"I can't sleep, quit pushing me."
He knew she wasn't really mad at him, but didn't like being out of control. "I need you to try harder to heal. I know you want to get back to work but please try."
"What do you think I'm doing?" She said coldly. She knew he was trying to help but she didn't like him coddling her. She was ex-CIA, she had been injured and got better by herself before, like when he was deployed.
"You have a serious head injury, bruised bones, and broken ribs. You need to be taking it easy, not walking around and working."
"I'm fine. I am taking it easy. I'm not working and being an invalid to you. What more do you want?" Now she was upset.
"What is this really about?" Henry knew why she was mad, but she needed to say it. So she could being to open up to him.
"It's my fault that Abdul doesn't have a father anymore and Fred's wife is a widow. I went to Iran and now they are dead. I was there and I didn't save Abdul from watching his father die. Now you want to take care of me and people are calling me a hero when Abdul, Fred, and Jiavani should be getting the attention. They deserve it."
Finally, she opened up to him. "I understand babe but their families are taking care of them. It is not your fault. My job is to take care of you and make sure you come home to our kids. If you don't take these injuries seriously and rest, you could wind up with permanent brain damage. What will that do to OUR kids. They need you. I need you."
"I know. I will take it more seriously. Promise."
"It's okay to cry. Others cry, it does not make you weaker. I know that you hold yourself to a higher standard but just as others have to deal with emotions, so do you. You need to let out all the pent-up emotion from the past couple of days, it will make you feel better. It's okay to fall a part, because I am here to pick you up."
"I have been trying to cry, I just can't. I don't know why."
"It's okay, I'll be here when you are ready."
1 week later
7:48am
"Morning." Elizabeth waddled down the stairs slowly into the kitchen, careful on her still painful injuries.
"No" Henry said as soon as he saw his wife in a formal dress. He knew she was trying to go into work today.
"Just for a couple of hours. I need to get some stuff done, then I will come right back."
"You haven't been cleared by the doctor to go back to work. You are still concussed, and you can't move too well with those bone bruises, not to mention the ribs. You are just becoming able to tolerate sound and light." It's too soon. She could pass out from pain at work.
"It's just a couple hours. I will be sitting the majority of the time. I will take it easy. Promise."
"3 hours at most." He knew she would stay longer than that, but at least she would try to come back on time.
"Thank you. Love you, bye."
"What about breakfast ba-" the door shut behind Elizabeth.
8:28am
"Good morning Madam Secretary. Nice to see you!" Nadine met Bess at the elevator that morning, with the rest of her senior staff close by.
"We weren't expecting you back for a couple more weeks." Daisy added.
"She's not back, she just came in for a few hours." Blake informed the group.
"So Henry called you Blake?" She knew he would. They always talked behind her back to make sure she left the office on time.
"Yep. He said that you have to take it very easy and must leave before lunch."
Nadine chuckled to herself. The secretary? Taking it easy? You'd have to shoot her first?
They entered her office and got settled, then began filling in the secretary on the events during her absence.
The door opened suddenly and Russel barged in with Blake trailing behind.
"Russel Jackson, ma'am."
Russel began lecturing her about the events during her absence and filled her in on the events of importance that she would need to attend, before saying he was happy to see her healthy, and walking out the door.
11:30am
"Time to go ma'am" Blake said as he brought her coat.
"I'm going to stay a while longer, but I will leave soon."
"All due respect, Henry will blame me for not getting you back on time. So you should go before Nadine calls security on you. Your car is waiting."
"It's okay Blake, I will tell Henry it was not your fault."
With that, he walked out the door. Nadine appeared a few minutes later.
"Ma'am, this will all be here tomorrow. It's time for you to leave."
"I just have a little left, then I will go."
"Yes ma'am."
1:58pm
As the car pulled up to the Georgetown house, she knew Henry would be upset that she was late. When she walked through the front door, he was waiting for her in the office.
"You're late."
"I know, I'm sorry. You didn't have to wait for me, have you eaten lunch?"
"No, Blake called, then Nadine called to inform me that you were staying at the office against their pushes. So, I knew you wouldn't have eaten either."
"I'm sorry I just had to finish a few things."
"It's okay, what's wrong?" He could tell her demeanor had changed since she left the house this morning.
"Nothing."
"Babe, just tell me." Obviously, there was something wrong, but he didn't want to have to draw it out of her. Why couldn't she just tell him? Why did she try to hide her feelings from him?
"I saw Fred Cole's widow."
He could see the tears welling up in her eyes, she was holding them back though. "Oh, I'm so sorry babe. That must have been awful."
He pulled her into his arms and she began to silently cry. Finally letting out everything she had been feeling since the explosion.