Hey everyone! This is my first House story and hopefully it will go ok. I really appreciate comments, more so if you can give me advice.
Note: obviously I don't own any of the characters etc etc. Also the title of the story is a song by Metric so I don't own that either.
chapter 1
It had been a long day and he was glad to finally get out of the hospital. Foreman and Cameron had asked him if he didn't want to go have a drink with them after work but all he wanted was to get away from them, go back to his apartment, and be left alone. House was away for the upcoming week so for once Chase felt less irate when he left the hospital.
The drive back home took too long and he could feel himself getting more and more anxious. He couldn't wait to take a long shower and crawl under the covers and get some rest. He would not think about other ways he could use to relax himself. Maybe tonight he wouldn't end up there.
His apartment was not very far from the hospital, just a 15 minutes drive. The area was ok and the flat looked pretty good. The apartment had a bedroom linked to a normal sized bathroom, a living room, kitchen, another bathroom and a nice balcony. One thing that stood out though was the lack of warmth. Everything was almost sterile. The furniture was nice but the place didn't look homey; no pictures displayed, no small objects. Even the multitude of books in the bookshelves were arranged in a certain order. Chase separated the medical books from the rest. Everything was arranged alphabetically, read books separated from the unread. The whole place just seemed too clean.
Chase went in the bedroom to get rid of his work clothes. He never did feel comfortable in them. He took a long shower, the hot water almost burning his skin. He could feel his muscles relaxing and by the time he stumbled in his room he was half asleep. But 2 hours later he was awaken by a nightmare. He felt agitated, unable to stop the flood of images in his head. He was no stranger to nightmares but for the last month or so they had been getting increasingly worse. He never got more than 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Realizing he would not calm down anytime soon on his own, Chase went to the bathroom looking for the only thing that seemed to work during nights like this one. He took the razor blade from the cabinet above the sink, and sat on the bathroom floor. He stared intently at the blade for a few moments, as if trying to make up his mind whether he wanted this or not. He always gave in. He made a small cut on his ankle, feeling very little relief yet. Blood started dripping slowly on the bathroom floor but it wasn't enough. He made another 2 cuts and he finally felt himself relax. He watched the blood flow for a minute then decided to clean up and attempt to sleep while he was still under the influence of this "drug". This had become a nightly ritual. For years he had been cutting himself only once in a while, when things got too overwhelming for him. With and alcoholic and abusive mother and an absent and uncaring father it had become the only way he could deal with everything happening.
About a month ago things started changing though. Cuddy had been short of staff and had asked him to do some hours in the ER. House had no real say in this and even so he had to take it up with Cuddy.
A 12 year old had been brought in, with a broken arm and a concussion. He claimed he had fallen down the stairs. When Chase went to talk to the mother he could feel the alcohol breath. He had sensed it so many times on his mother and it brought a shiver down his spine. She told him her son, Mark, was running down the stairs and had tripped and fallen. Chase noticed the woman couldn't look in his eyes and she was quite agitated. When asked about Mark's father the woman said he had left 3 months before. He was having an affair. Their divorce had not yet been finalised. When just a bit after they found fading bruises as well as newer ones on Mark's torso and legs the sings of abuse were clear. That and the mother's drunken state were evidence enough for the Social Services to be called. The father had been called, he took the kid in, and the story ended. But not for Chase. This had hit too close for home.
Since then the nightmares about his past had intensified allowing him only 4-5 hours of sleep every night. This combined with working with a men like House and with the shifts in the ER that he was doing for Cuddy were leaving him exhausted. He was slowly moving closer to the edge and this nightly ritual seemed to have become the only thing keeping him sane.
He knew Foreman and Cameron had noticed something was different. Cameron seemed to be fussing over him a bit, making him uncomfortable with all the attention. Foreman and him were never close and yet Foreman made it a point to invite him out for a drink every once in a while and ask how he'd been. House of course was being an ass to him as always. His snide remarks were getting under his skin even though he knew ignoring the man would work so much better. But luckily for him House had left the day before for one week. There was a conference in NY and Cuddy had made him go. House had tried everything to get out of it but it seemed Cuddy still had some power over him and in the end he really had no choice. It amused Chase that for once his boss didn't get what he wanted. It was a rare thing.
Realising he'd been sitting on the cold bathroom floor for a while now, just lost in his thoughts, he got up to get the very well stocked first aid kit. After taking care of the cuts and cleaning the place he went back to bed, hoping for some rest. It was 2 am by now. His shift started at 7. This meant he would have to be up in just 4 hours. He checked again to make sure the alarm was set right and closed his eyes. Maybe for once in a long time he would finally sleep till the morning.
End of chapter 1.
Please leave a comment!
Also I am looking for someone to proofread the chapters. I tend to miss out on some mistakes even after re-reading 3-4 times.