Characters may be OOC.
And let's just pretend there is a Walmart in Naruto-world.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
"ITACHI!!"
Deidara kicked open Itachi's door open and pounced on him.
"Itachiii, I'm bored. Play with me!" Deidara demanded, his face inches away from the other's face.
Itachi blinked, wondering who was stupid enough to disturb his sleep when a yellow blur sprung into his bed.
"What are you talking about, you freak of nature?" Itachi sat up, rubbing his eyes.
"No one else will play with me, yeah. They all think I'm annoying. So I want you to amuse me for today!" Deidara smiled cheerfully at him.
"Deidara…" Itachi rubbed his temples.
"Yes?"
"You have about 3 seconds to get out of my room before I blow you up into about a billion pieces."
"NO! Blowing up things is mine, yeah!" Deidara objected.
"3…"
"NO!!"
"2…"
Deidara pouted, looking up at Itachi with big puppy-dog eyes.
"Almost one…"
Scowling, Deidara shoved Itachi and ran screaming out of the room.
Kisame cracked open one eyelid and asked, "What the hell was that?"
-later-
"Sheesh! I can have fun by myself, yeah! I don't need ANY OF YOU BASTARDS!!" Deidara shouted at the Akatsuki base while walking to Walmart.
Once inside, Deidara darted all around the store humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme suspiciously, getting cans of tomato juice first, making trails of red liquid to all the bathrooms.
Next, the blonde got countless boxes of condoms, dumping them randomly into people's carts when they weren't looking.
Then, Deidara hid in the clothing racks, jumping out yelling, "PICK ME!" "PICK ME, YEAH!" when people came to browse through them.
Waltzing into a fitting room next, Deidara shut the door. Upon waiting a while, he yelled, "There's no toilet paper in here!"
After a few hours, Deidara pulled the last straw when he ran around, throwing bouncy balls at people and saying, "Go, pikachu, go!" The clerks and the other workers got pissed and told him to pay for all the damage he had caused earlier.
However, as Deidara didn't bring any money with him, he had to call someone for help.
"Hello?"
"S-sasori-danna?" Deidara asked nervously.
"Is this Deidara? Where the hell are you?"
"Uh, well… I'm sort of in trouble, yeah. I need you to come to Walmart. And can you bring some money with you too?"
"What. Did. You. Do?"
"N-nothing big, just… yeah. Can you please come? They won't let me leave until I pay for all the… uh, damage I've done."
"…why should I come?"
"Wahh! I only get one call yeah! I can get into a bigger mess if you don't come in 3 hours!!"
"And you thought I would just come to your rescue, did you now?"
"Well, I though-" Deidara stared in disbelief at the phone he was holding. "Sasori-danna!! You hung up on me!!"
-2 hours and 50 minutes later-
"Oi. Is your friend coming or not?" One of the clerks who was watching over Deidara asked, tired of standing guard.
"H-he'll come. Don't worry." Deidara answered, not believing himself. If Sasori didn't come, he could just break out of here, using his exploding clay. But damn! Deidara seriously thought he would come! Well, that's Sasori-danna for you, Deidara thought bitterly.
-9 minutes later-
Deidara sighed, getting up from his spot, and turned toward the clerk.
"Well, I'm sorry to do this to you, yeah, but I'm going to have to blow this pla-"
Deidara stared at the doorway, where Sasori was standing.
"Don't do that, brat."
"Sasori-danna! You came to save me!"
Sasori glared daggers at Deidara, who shut up immediately. Walking over to the clerk, he asked, "So how much do I need to pay for the idiot?"
"Well… mumble mumble"
"HOW much? What the hell did he do??" Sasori yelled at the clerk, surprised at the insane amount of money he had to pay.
"Making unnecessary work…attacking shoppers with rubber balls…"
"Okay okay. Fine." Sasori grumbled, handing over the money to the man. After the clerk had gone, he walked out of the room, Deidara following him.
There was a painfully awkward silence as the two walked toward the Akatsuki base.
"S-sasori-danna? Are you mad, yeah?"
"What do you think, Deidara?"
Deidara winced at the cold tone of voice that was used.
"I'm sorry…"
"Save that for later. You'll have plenty of opportunities to say sorry."
Soon, they reached the Akatsuki base. Sasori stormed inside with a killer aura, and Deidara tried to slide away from him, only to have his wrist snatched by the puppet master and pulled into their room.
Sasori sat down on a nearby chair and flung Deidara over his knees.
"D-danna? What are you doing, yeah?" Deidara asked nervously, moving a bit in the uncomfortable position.
Sasori did not answer, but moved Deidara's Akatsuki cloak out of the way, pulling his pants and boxers down too.
Deidara's face flushed red and he tried to get up, but was pushed down harshly again.
Deidara bit back a cry as Sasori raised his arm up high and let it fall.
"Why am I doing this?" Sasori asked as he continued to spank Deidara.
Deidara just whimpered and closed his eyes tightly, trying to ignore the pain in his backside.
"Well?" Sasori, not liking to be waiting for the answer, smacked Deidara extra hard.
Deidara yelped loudly, snapping his eyes open. "I-I did stupid things today!"
"What kind of stupid things?" prompted Sasori.
"I-I pulled pranks on people and got into trouble, yeah!"
"And are you going to do it again?"
"N-no?"
"No, you're not." Sasori smacked Deidara's bottom for a little longer before stopping.
For a few minutes, Deidara lay on Sasori's lap, sniffling. "You hit really hard, Sasori-danna."
When Sasori didn't answer, Deidara spoke again. "And your knees are really hard and pokey, and they're cold too, yeah. And- and your hands, they're really dry and rough, and-" Deidara was interrupted by another smack to his bottom.
"Boy, you are just asking for more, aren't you?" Sasori asked lazily.
"No! I me-" an extra smack to his bottom stopped Deidara abruptly.
"Anything more to say?"
"YE-" Sasori smacked Deidara again, clearly enjoying this.
"You- you're not nice at all, you know that yeah?" Deidara pouted, frustrated with his partner.
"Heh." Sasori put his hand on top of the blonde's head and ruffled his hair. "I do."