Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran…this is my first attempt at Tamaki's pov so please don't laugh at me…
Love. What can one say about love? It often descends upon us without our knowing and, even more often, without our permission. It is unrelenting and painful. Beautiful yet destructive. It causes the world un-due distress, but to say that we are better off without it would be foolish. Without love, all would be lost.
The very first time I looked into those coal grey eyes, I know that the man who owned them was special. Once I had begun getting to know him, I realized that the glasses that hid those eyes were symbolic of the wall he had erected around his heart. The wall that I was determined to climb over or even destroy completely.
"Kyouya, whatcha thinkin' about?" I had asked him once.
"Finances," he had answered simply. I could tell that he was lying to me but I wasn't sure why. I was his best friend, after all.
"Why are you lying to me, Kyo-chan?" I pouted.
"What makes you think I'm lying?" he asked as if it was foolish of me to doubt his truthfulness.
"Don't pull that bull with me," I replied, "I can read you like a book."
After that day, he almost never looked me in the eye. He was afraid. Afraid of showing emotion; afraid of letting someone in; afraid of me; afraid of himself. I was chipping away at his wall, and he knew it. He just wasn't sure if he was ready for it to come down yet.
"Why did you build this wall?"
"I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about."
"You know exactly what I'm talking about. It's because of your father, isn't it? You're afraid of being hurt. You don't have to worry about that with me. I would never hurt you."
It was in that moment that I realized that I was in love with him. Although I knew that he could never love me back, it was nice to entertain the notion that I was wrong. There was just something about that dark, handsome man that drew me to him like a moth to a flame. He was my addiction. I suppose he still is. Even though he rejected my subtle advances, I will always love him. I am almost certain that we are soul mates.
"Do you believe in soul mates?"
"No. The concept that everyone has but one person that they are meant to love is utterly absurd."
"O-Oh…"
I knew I loved him; I wasn't sure why though. He is everything I'm not. I suppose that's why we're perfect for each other. If only he could see how much I need him.
"Kyouya, do you ever wish I was more like you?"
"Never. If you were like me, everything that makes you, you would be gone."
"Do you care about me?"
"Yes. You are like the brother I should've had."
That's all he feels for me. The love of a brother. How I wish it were more. That's selfish of me to wish though. If he loved me, there would be no chance for him to become the Ootori heir. Because of this, I choose to remain silent. To give up the love of my life so that he can achieve his dream. Although it causes me great pain to let him go, I just want him to be happy. With me, he cannot. It seems that I will be forever waiting in the wings…
Please review! I would like to know if I should write more unrequited love, or just stick to plain old requited. ^_^