The Golden Girls
"White Stain on the Black blouse"
In Miami Florida, the four women known as the "Golden Girls", live in a ranch style house. Sitting in the kitchen, Rose and Dorothy are drinking their coffee and reading their morning coffee. With the clicking of her black fuzzy heels, Blanche enters the kitchen in her black and white night gown.
"Girls, I have a date and I would like to wear this low cut, slimming black blouse, but whoever wore it last had left a white stain on it. I demand to know who has done this. Whoever it was will cover the cost of the dry cleaning bill."
Dorothy, being tired of being accused, "What makes you think we did it?"
"Dorothy is right Blanche. You always assume it is one of us. You wear that shirt more than any one of us." Rose says while folding her section of the morning paper.
Sophia who had just gotten back from the grocery store, walking into the kitchen from the back door observed the three roommates arguing, "What are you monkeys howling about?"
"Ma, she is assuming one of us borrowed her black blouse and left a white stain on it."
"Haha that is nice, the one who has seen more white stains than a dry cleaner is accusing the one whose only white stain seen on clothes is a bleach stain."
Blanche, being frustrated, asks Dorothy and Rose, "Seriously who wore the blouse last?"
Looking at Blanche for a minute, Rose finally answers "I saw Dorothy wear it a couple weeks ago."
Dorothy, being defensive states "I wore it to a parent-teacher conference day at school two weeks ago."
"You could have stood to close to the chalkboard Dorothy." Blanche says matter of factly.
"Blanche, I was sitting at my desk the whole time. It was not me." Dorothy said assuredly. "Besides, I saw Rose wear it 2 days later."
"Oh refloogin-woogin! I wore it out on a date with Miles. But I did not get anything on the blouse. I only ate a salad."
Sophia quick to reply "Then it is ranch dressing."
"I had Italian dressing. Cousin Ned says it is good luck to order Italian dressing on dates."
Dorothy sarcastically replies "Why Rose, cause it freshens your breath?"
"No cause it is zesty and it makes you zesty in bed."
All the women shake their heads, as Dorothy grabs and rolls the newspaper and hits Rose on the head. "Shut up Rose"
Rose, remembering having seen Sophia walking to the end of the hall towards Blanche's room earlier that day, "Sophia, I saw you going into Blanche's room earlier."
All heads turn toward Sophia. "Sophia, why were you in my room?"
"Picture it, Sicily 1922, there were two peasant girls playing together when the youngest of the two girls went to go tell my parents, I had kissed the boy next door. The boy was Frank Sinitra, the other girl was Cassandra Gambino. Rose have you ever heard me talk about Cassandra before?"
"Sophia I have never heard you mention the name Cassandra before."
"Exactly Rose. Snitches get stitches. In her case, she got cement boots and went swimming with the fishes. In Sicily, we Italians do not mess around."
"Ma! That did not happen."
"Were you there Dorothy? No! Besides I am old and allowed to make up stories. It makes life more colorful."
With that being said Sophia, being a little annoyed walks into to the living room and sits on the wicker chair, and picks up her yarn and needles, and begins to crochet.
Wanting to know why Sophia was in her room, Blanche follows shortly behind her.
"Sophia, why were in my room?"
"I thought I heard a noise."
"Sophia we all know better than that."
"Do you? I hear the noises you make in your room every Saturday night. I wanted to make sure your gentleman caller was still alive. It was quiet in there."
By now Rose and Dorothy have made their way into the living room and was seated on the couch.
"Ma that makes no sense. You just said you thought you heard a noise and now you are saying it was quiet in the room."
"Stay out of this Pussy Cat."
"Sophia, she is right. Besides this is Friday. Now Sophia why were you in my room?"
"That did not stop you from doing the lawn care worker last Friday."
"Sophia, why were you in my room?"
"Okay okay, I have a date tonight and I wanted to find something to wear. I tried on the black blouse and went into your bathroom to look in the mirror. When I looked into the mirror I saw the white stain on the blouse. So I took it off and put it back on the hanger and put the blouse back in your closet. By the way I am borrowing the red dress. I dont need to wear something slimming to make me look thinner than I already do. You need all the help you can get. I saw your cookie stash."
"Sophia that was not a nice thing to say." Rose replied sitting back down.
"Rose you wear that same blouse and you too have a few pounds to hide. Those Scandinavian desserts are not helping you out either."
"Ma! Be nice!"
Thinking about what Sophia had just said, Blanche thinks about what the stain could be. "Girls, I know what the stain on the blouse is. This morning I dropped my very expensive perfume powder. I thought I cleaned it all up. So when Sophia was in my bathroom looking in the mirror she must have leaned up against my sink and got the remaining powder on the blouse. Oh girls whatever am I going to do?"
Rose in a motherly voice, "An apology would be nice."
"Girls, I truly am sorry for accusing you for the stain on the blouse. But I know it was not me who put it there. Now what am I going to do with this blouse? I have nothing to wear to my date."
Sophia getting up from her chair, walks over to Blanche, who was sitting on the end of the couch and grabs the blouse. "I will be right back."
Dorothy knowing how Blanche has so many other outfits to choose from, offers her opinion, "How about that red blouse with all those fancy gems and sequins on it? You always look so good in that blouse and red pumps."
Liking the idea, Rose chimes in, "There you go Blanche, you always look so fancy and easy in that blouse."
"Oh I can not wear that blouse. I wore it last week. I can not have him see me in the same outfit twice."
"Blanche, you probably had that shirt on the floor within the first 30 minutes of your date." Dorothy states knowing how Blanche is on her dates. "He probably will not even remember that blouse at all."
"Dorothy, he remembers that blouse. It has a plunging neckline that makes my bosom's look lavishing and make any man want to lick some chocolate syrup and cool whip off of them. A man will not forget a blouse like that. No matter how long the time was before it hit the floor."
Returning from her room from the back of the house, Sophia hands Blanche the black blouse. "There Blanche, you now have the blouse to wear to your date. Are you even going to be wearing it longer than 30 minutes?"
"Sophia the stain is gone! Thank you! I need to go get ready. I may be young and very good looking, but I do need to freshen up my make-up." Blanche declares walking out of the living room towards her room.
"Ma, how did you get that stain out of the blouse so fast?" Dorothy is a little confused.
"Who said I got the stain out? Dorothy, knowing we are Italian you should know better. We cover stuff up. I simply saved us from spending $30 on a dry cleaning bill."
"Ma, how did you cover it up?"
"I simply used the magic marker from your purse and colored in the stain."
"Sophia, that is lying."\
"Yes Rose, oh high and mighty one. But do you have better way that can save both time and money?"
"Ma, be nice, in St. Olaf they do not lie to save money. Come on let's go relax out on the lanai."
Walking a little hesitantly and slightly offended Rose follows behind.