This was a collaboration entry between myself and Big Papa Peter in the Better in Texas Fiction Winter Wonderland Contest.
We got second place.
All twilight characters belong to s Meyer.
"Come on, It'll be great fun." Emmett said trying to convince the newbie that it was a good idea something akin to a maniac grin on his face.
"I'm sure it will, but why the hell are we hunting birds?" Mark asked the assembled vampires.
Mark was new to the Cullen clan, only three months into this second life. Rosalie had come across his mangled body in a car crash on her way back from a hunt. Something had called to her and she just had to save him when she heard his gradually fading heartbeat. The blood didn't bother her at all, much to her surprise, as she pushed her venom into his veins beginning the transformation.
He had been grateful and embraced the second chance he had from the very start, never looking back or bemoaning what he had lost. In his eyes he had gained a family forever and was determined to make the best of it. Rose had helped him immensely and supported him in every way. She had steered him through his newborn rages and was happy to help alleviate some of the other 'frustrations'.
Emmett and Jasper had become his friends immediately and they often hunted together, played games and such. But this was to be his first all guy hunt. A Christmas tradition apparently.
"Tastes like chicken" Emmett answered in a startlingly brilliant imitation of Timon from the 'Lion King' film.
"It's like eating turkey for thanksgiving." Peter offered helpfully. He and Charlotte were visiting for the holidays. Mark had liked Peter and Charlotte instantly, appreciating his wry humor and Charlotte's perky 'personality'. "Has to be done, even I'm gonna have some."
"You! Yeah right." He said scornfully "Wow look at that pig flying past!" He pointed toward the window.
"Look you managed bears and mountain lions easily enough" Jasper added casually. "Not afraid of a little birdie are you?"
"They taste decent, that squirrel you dared me to try tasted like shit." He replied "And no I've never been scared of birds" he added with a wink at Alice.
She giggled quietly then slipped into a vision.
"Oh you boys!" she said as she came out of it. "You'll have a great time Mark, I promise. It'll be an experience you will never forget."
He wasn't sure that was a good thing, but then again vampire brains never forgot. He quite liked that part of what he was. He liked the speed and strength, the thirst he could cope with but the lighting up like a bloody great disco ball whenever the sun came out was, in his humble opinion a gigantic pain in the butt, as well as being possibly the stupidest thing he had ever seen.
She kissed Jasper a quick goodbye with a knowing smile and kissed Mark on the cheek as she passed him by. The girls were going shopping, again.
Mark had been pleasantly shocked by the open, friendly nature of the vampires he lived with. He did feel like part of the family, and has been welcomed with open arms, literally. It was share and share alike in that household, he never felt lonely.
"Isn't Carlisle coming?" he asked as he watched her walk up the stairs, wondering briefly if he had time to follow her.
"No" Jasper said with a laugh, clamping his hand down hard on Marks shoulder. "Come on"
"Newborns" Peter muttered with a laugh as they headed toward the door. "One track minds the lot of 'em. Feedin' fightin' and fuckin'."
"Sorry boys I have a shift at the hospital I can't get out of. I am afraid I'll have to miss out." Carlisle said with a chuckle as he appeared behind them, his arm around Esme's waist.
With a whoop Emmett launched himself off the porch and darted to his jeep.
"Now remember guys," his disembodied voice drifted towards them. "What happens on a hunt stays on a hunt. Now let's hunt some snipe!"
Mark fit in with the group so well. It was as though he had been a part of it for years. They all loved his free will spirit; get a long attitude and his witty charm. However, the boys couldn't resist the urge to initiate him into the coven by creating a new Cullen vampire tradition with this hunt.
With excitement vibrating from his body Emmett plopped his butt down in the driver's seat and proclaimed to anyone within earshot. "Everybody pile in already. Let's get the supplies for the hunt and get this show on the road."
Emmett happily seemed to be heading up this trip as he pulled up in front of the farm store. He continued to give out orders. "Peter go get the stuff so we can get going. It's almost the dusk of twilight." The sun was just down at the horizon and getting ready to set soon, the colours changing from blue to purple, orange and red. Emmett was anxious and filled with anticipation. He rubbed his hands together in glee and tried to hurry them up; he didn't want to waste a precious moment of the daylight they had left.
"Jasper come with me." Peter said "We'll get it done quicker with the two of us." They were laughing as they went inside to begin their task at hand. "Where do we start in here?"
They were greeted by an eager employee at the door. "Good evening gentlemen, can I assist you in locating something today?"
Peter gave a quick wink to Jasper. "I got this." He glanced at the kid's name tag. "Jason is it? May I call you Jason?"
"Of course Sir."
"Well Jason, here is what we need. We have a little surprise in store for our friend."
Jason had a surprised and slightly perplexed look on his face once Peter explained the plan to him. He scratched his head while Peter went down the list of necessary items they needed for the evening.
"I don't know if we carry all of those things Sir."
"I have faith in you kid, adlib where you need. They don't just give out those name tags to just anyone Jason."
"Well actually Sir, they do give out these name tags to anyone, well everyone who works here that is." The worker piped up with the best response he could come up with.
"But no other has your name on it Jason." Peter was doing his best to boost the kid's confidence to get him to play along in their game while resisting the temptation to ask him to find a 'sky hook' or 'left handed screwdriver'. It didn't look like it was working. The lad looked completely lost as he followed the pair around the store.
Jasper grabbed a yellow construction hard hat off the shelf along with a threaded bar. He noticed the boy was falling a little behind them with each isle they went on.
"Jason stay up with us. We can't do this without you man."
"This hat should hold the wind chimes nicely. We'll tell Mark this will get the snipe to bust out of their covey so he can capture them." Jasper threw the items in the cart and they went on to the next thing to purchase.
Jason very softly spoke up. "Are you guys pranking your friend? This stuff seems like really strange things to buy."
Peter chuckled as he tossed a roll of bubble wrap, a case of duct tape and a set of pretty butterfly wind chimes in the cart.
"Of course we are kid. It's all in good fun. Now step up your damn game while being the stellar employee of the year and help us out."
The worker thought for a bit before he decided to go with the flow.
"Well, my uncle used to pull a joke with a turkey call that was a copper pipe filled with flour."
"That's perfect, what do we do?" Jasper gave the thumbs up to the kid's idea.
"You have to bend it around so the end points back to them. When they blow it, the flour will go all over their face."
Peter took a quarter inch piece of pipe and started bending it. Jason inspected the pipe then offered another tip. "That's good. Now flare it so the end will expand."
Peter took a saw and made cuts. With a hammer he smashed it open until it had an open flower petal type end on it. "There, that will be a good snipe call." He was still chuckling as he told Jasper what to grab next. "Go get some flour to put in it. We will tell Mark it's a homemade snipe pipe. Don't forget to grab the butterfly nets too."
"Alright this should be good enough." The vampires made their way to the checkout. They thanked Jason for everything he had done. He told them to come back again and he would be happy to wait on them for their next project, they made a new friend.
They loaded up their purchases in the jeep. No one made a sound other than a few chuckles to themselves as Emmett drove to the field where they play baseball.
Mark being new to the group still didn't have any idea what they had in store for him. He knew something wasn't up to par but he had a trust in his new family.
When Emmett pulled over the jeep, Peter got the hat out first. He pushed the threaded bar down into the top of it. He then completed it by shoving the sparkly butterfly wind chimes down into the bar. Since he didn't want to do it, he handed the hat to Jasper.
"You have to tell Mark."
"Why me?" Jasper didn't want to do it either. So he passed it off to the one who could pull any prank off, Emmett.
"Try this on Mark to make sure it fits." Emmett never acted as though anything was unusual about wearing a sparkly whirling wind chime hat when he said it.
"Why do I have to wear this?" Mark was a little taken back by what Emmett wanted him to wear.
"The song the chimes make is the flight of the snipe. Come on man, don't you know this shit? Pffst.. you call yourself a hunter." Emmett had a way about him of passing off anything as being normal. Since he, himself, was never normal it wasn't a difficult thing for him to do.
With a puffed out chest Mark responded. "Of course I knew that. Give me the damn thing." He had always prided himself as a hunter even before he was turned. But any type of bird hunting was never one of his passions so he knew very little about that field. He was however very open minded for a vampire and so did as he was asked to do.
Emmett prepared the second act of this hunt when he turned on the lights on the roll bar of the jeep. He patted the top of the hood for Mark to climb aboard. "Just remember when we get you up to speed, make the chimes sing. Then you can swoop in and capture them."
Any question Mark had as to why he needed to do something or anything at all were dealt with easily. They gave a ration answer of why it was necessary. Vampires had perfect night vision and no lights were needed. Their explanation to it was simple; light attracted the snipe to it. When in reality they had to have light to video tape the escapade. Although the new moon was putting off enough light even a human could see from it a little in the dark.
After Jasper and Peter wrapped Mark's whole body up in bubble wrap (the snipe wouldn't get hurt if they flew into him) they placed a butterfly net in each of his hands so he now looked like a kind of demented snowman. With a generous amount of duct tape, those nets weren't going anywhere.
It was finally time for the hunt to begin. Emmett hit the gas and started driving like a bat outta hell. "Let's go already! Roll the film."
Secretly they were all taking bets on how long it would be before Mark got tired of this game. They were amazed at his commitment and tolerance already.
Mark flailed his arms about while surfing on the hood of the jeep going who knows how fast through the woods. He was catching a lot of bugs in his butterfly nets but not much else really. It was pure perseverance that made him move his head around so the sparkly butterfly wind chimes could whirl above his head as they clanked out such a pretty tune.
He was beginning to suspect something wasn't right but didn't want to look an idiot by calling a halt, just in case. So he kept going. Waving his arms and head while trying desperately to see any birds at all, up ahead in the swiftly descending gloom.
Listening to the guys in the car he began to wonder why he was doing this. Surely they could run fast enough to catch these things without all this elaborate get up. They were going to eat them so it didn't matter if they got hurt flying into him. All he could hear were chuckles and laughter coming from the jeep. Not what he expected when hunting.
Suddenly the memory of him in his first job as a human jumped into his mind. Him spending nearly an hour in the store room waiting for them to bring him a 'long stand.' And feeling a complete ass when he realized he couldn't fetch the 'tin of sparks' for the welder.
"You bastards!" he yelled and slammed his foot down hard, straight through the hood of the jeep, causing the engine to break through the well and shatter on the ground. Thus making the vehicle to flip itself airborne and rotate spectacularly about five times before crashing to the ground in a juddering, smoking halt.
Mark had somehow, miraculously managed to stay in one piece while being 'groin deep' in the jeep engine and therefore unable to jump clear as the thing did its spectacular aerobatic display. The hat was even still on his head! Emmett was hanging head first out of the driver's door, his feet and legs wedged in the foot well and one hand clinging to the steering wheel as if his survival depended on it.
Somehow Jasper and Peter had either jumped or been thrown free and were sprinting towards the wreckage just as the smoke turned to flame.
Peter yanked Mark bodily from the hood and threw him several feet away where he landed in a bubble wrapped heap then turned to help Jasper dismantle the jeep around Emmett to get him out a split second before the jeep turned into a fireball. Dragging him away from the wreckage of his pride and joy they got only a few feet before Mark threw himself at Emmett and began to pummel his face with gusto.
Unfortunately for Mark being wrapped almost from head to toe in bubble wrap and still having the butterfly nets firmly attached to his hands he didn't do much damage. In fact the sight of the whirling, sparkly butterflies on his hat wobbling frantically as he attacked Emmett had Jasper and Peter rolling around helplessly, holding their sides at the laughter exploding from them. Mark began clawing at the duct tape on his hands trying to loosen the nets. But he was taped up so securely his fingers couldn't straighten enough to get a decent purchase and he ended up scrabbling frantically with the nets flapping around like a crazy semaphore on drugs.
With a final kick of frustration Mark launched the remains of the jeep about a mile into the forest before turning back to look at the vampires with him, all of them helpless before him. He stalked towards them, it would have been more intimidating if he wasn't still wearing the butterfly hat, and kicked Emmett hard in the ribs.
"Hey. I wasn't just me!"
"Like hell!" Mark answered falling to the ground in a sulky bubble wrapped, net waving, heap. "You were the one behind this, I know it!" He added with a slap to Emmet's head causing the net to snap in half.
"Oh come on." Peter piped up, managing to temporarily stifle his mirth. "It was good!"
Mark looked at himself and the others around him. He shook his head briefly before dissolving into laughter. "Yes it was. You got me good!"
"I can't believe I actually went along with that shit!" He added laughing. "We can run faster than your damn jeep."
"Yes but the video can't keep up with …" Emmett stopped mid-sentence and sprinted toward the wreckage of his jeep. "NOOO!" he bellowed.
"What?" Jasper asked while dislodging the nets from Mark's hands.
"The tape!"
"You recorded this!" Mark yelled, breaking from Jaspers hold and launching at Emmett again. This time he had a net free hand and made use of it as he punched Emmett repeatedly in the face.
"It was just a bit of fun!" Emmett stated as Mark was pulled away again. "We were all in on it."
Mark looked at the smoldering heap that was Emmett's jeep and laughed.
"Guess you lost more than me on this one." He reached forward with his free hand and pulled Emmett to his feet. "I know how much you loved that thing!" He slapped him hard on the back making Emmett stagger forward slightly.
"Besides Rose will cut you off for a month at least for pissing off Her new born!" He whispered loudly causing Emmett to quail and Jasper and Peter to fall to the ground again laughing.
"Damn it!" Jasper moaned as he picked up a twisted piece of copper pipe from the ground near the jeep. "Mark didn't blow on our homemade snipe pipe yet." He seemed disheartened as he spoke the words.
"Come on buddy." Peter said with a chuckle as he did his best to lift his friend's spirits. "Just hug it out with me. It's not gonna happen tonight."
Mark watched the weird exchange between the two men carefully and with a great deal of amusement.
"You're some really strange sparkly mother fuckers. But I like you guys anyway."
Peter quickly straightened out the end of pipe back to perfectly straight again, then blew on it hard in Mark's direction.
"Well now you don't have to worry about sparkling do you Mark? Not with all that white shit on your face?"
The flour covered Mark's hair; face and still bubble wrap clad body in a fine white coat. He now looked even more like a snowman.
Jasper smiled broadly at the sight while Peter and Emmett glanced at each other and at the same time began a rousing chorus of "Do you want to build a snowman?" Mark glanced down at himself and laughing ripped away the wrappings. He picked up a handful of snow and threw it hard. It landed squarely in Emmett's face effectively silencing him as he spluttered and choked on the snow. Peter sang on bravely (out of tune) and with increased the volume until Jasper jumped at him and wrestled him down, face first into the ground. Then began a snowball fight / wrestling match which Emmett later claimed could only be described as 'Epic'.
They spent the next hours laughing, making fun of one another and planning to take another boys night out. The sun rays started peeking through the clouds as the breaking dawn found them soaked through, covered in snow and contented as they made snow angels. It was time for the night to come to an end and for them to make their way home. They had spent the entire time razzing and pranking one another. In so doing becoming a true family.
To all their astonishment Mark had played along with the activities they had planned for him without much of a fuss. He enjoyed it really, made him feel part of the family. They all had so much fun with it; they decided he would get to lead the 'snipe' hunt for the next new member of the coven. It was a sign their new traditions were meant to be.