"Just make your choice, Steph."
"Easy for you to say. You never had to make a choice. You just rotated all of us around to fit your needs and schedule."
Stephanie Plum here. Thirty-five year-old, bounty hunter extraordinaire. Okay, maybe not so much, but I'm also not that bad. You're about to witness, potentially, the most fucked up situation Bachelor #1 (Joe Morelli) could have put me in. I say "Bachelor #1" because, lucky me, there are two men in my life. Bachelor #1 is Joseph Morelli. Lifelong "friend", my first for everything. Starting at age six with premature fondling, all the way to age sixteen where he took my big V-Card from me on the floor of the Tasty Pastry. We've been on-again/off-again for the better part of five years, though some may say as long as thirty years. We were on-again this morning, but now off is looking like a pretty solid option.
"So, what? You're picking him?!"
"I'm not picking anyone, Joe. I'm especially not picking YOU!"
"Come on, Cupcake. You don't mean that. You were my favorite, after all."
That's it. If another word came out of his mouth, my lunch would come out of mine. FIVE YEARS! Five whole, chaotic years of on-again/off-again bullshit. I was his favorite. Gee whiz, Joe. You really know how to make a girl feel special. Why not just throw in your latest STD test, that you claim you get done monthly, and we'll make this a real Hallmark moment.
After weeks of hearing the gossip around town that Joe was nailing AT LEAST four other women, plus yours truly, I confronted him when he stopped by my apartment. Every Wednesday, I could always count on Morelli coming by around three o'clock in the afternoon with Pino's pizza. He figured he could bribe me with my favorite pizza, and I'd thank him by visiting his boys. It worked for the past few months. I mean, come on. Morelli was deliciously Italian. Dark, handsome, ass to die for. If he wants to bring me my favorite food AND I get to put my hands all over him, who am I to say no?
That worked, until today. Today was Wednesday, and like clockwork, Morelli showed up right on time with Pino's in hand. I decided to hold off on the conversation until the pizza was gone, just in case he decided to storm out and take the pizza with him. I'm not THAT dumb. Once the pizza was gone, I threw the first dagger.
"So, who's Marcia?"
Now that face was a Kodak moment.
"Huh? What are you talking about, Cupcake?"
"Oh, Marcia doesn't ring a bell. How about Hilary?" Confusion and possibly anger danced in his eyes.
"Cupcake, what are you talking about? Come on, the boys are getting lonely." He grabbed my hand and tried to pull me to the bedroom, but I stood my ground.
"No Hilary either? What about Nancy? Janette? Gina? Come on, Morelli. If your face gets any more red, your eyes might pop out of your head." Just like that, his cop face slammed down.
"Why the hell can't anyone stay out of my business? Who did you talk to, Cupcake? Who wants to take me down so bad they had to start naming off a bunch of old flames to fire you up?"
"Really, Joe? If they're old flames, why the hell are you turning into Hellboy in front of my very eyes? It doesn't matter who told me. What matters is now I know and I'm done. Flat out DONE!"
"It was Manoso, wasn't it? He's always wanted you and probably had all his butt buddies tracking my entire life just to find ONE THING that would piss you off enough to leave me. Now he has you all to himself." I was starting to see red. Little did Joe know, Ranger made it abundantly clear that he wasn't looking for a relationship. With all the poaching he did on Joe, something tells me he didn't really care if there was someone else involved. He was going to get what he wanted no matter what. On top of all of that, I hadn't spoken to Ranger in almost three weeks.
Ricardo Carlos Manoso (a.k.a. Ranger) is Bachelor #2. Ranger has been my mentor since I started this whole bounty hunting deal. He's saved me more times than I can count, and is without a doubt, one of my best friends. One glorious night, he was my lover. A night I'll soon never forget. However, unlike Joe, Ranger doesn't do "relationships". So I'm pretty much left with stolen kisses, and the sweet memories of our one night together. There have been numerous times where I'm sure Ranger is the one for me, but then I remember his "my love comes with a condom, not a ring" comment, and the fact that I'm not so much a casual sex kind of lady. I take what I can get, without signing my soul to the devil, and move on.
"This has nothing to do with Ranger, Joe. As far as I know, he doesn't even know about any of this. We live in the Burg, Joe. We have our whole lives and nothing has changed. Even in the privacy of my own apartment, I can guarantee that as soon as you walk out of here looking like you do, 40 people will be talking about how we broke up before you even make it to your truck."
I watched as Joe stared at his feet, and took a couple deep breaths. When he looked up at me, I knew right away he was still on the defensive. Before he could start defending himself, I put my hand up and started speaking.
"This is the end, Joe. For good. Obviously I couldn't make you happy. Do what you have to do to be happy, but know I won't be a part of it anymore. I think it's time for you to leave."
Without so much as blinking, he turned and walked out. I'd say walked out of my life, but like I said, we lived in the Burg and nothing could keep us apart forever. We'd eventually see each other.
I expected to have a wave of emotion hit me when he shut the door, but the only emotion I could register was relief. Relived that I'd no longer feel pressure to quit bounty hunting, or get married, become a housewife, or a mother. Lord knows I'm NOT ready for that step. No matter how long Joe was in my life for, if after thirty years, the thought of forever with him still made me break out in hives, it wasn't meant to be.
After a few beats, I decided I deserved a bath. A hot, steamy, bubbly bath. With candles. And wine. Lots of wine. I rummaged through the cabinets and couldn't find a single wine glass. Hell, I'm alone and newly single. Who needs a wine glass? I grabbed two bottles of moscato and wandered to the bathroom.
Halfway through my bath, my eyes were closed and I was on the edge of sleep. Suddenly, the atmosphere changed, which only happened when one thing occurred. Ranger just entered my breathing space. Without opening my eyes, I greeted him.
"Yes, there are two bottles. No, I don't have a glass. I couldn't find one. Yes, I'm fine. It needed to end anyway."
Apparently, my ESP was in overdrive and I didn't even notice.
"Babe."
And apparently, his vocabulary hasn't expanded much. Good thing I've come to understand was most of his "Babes" meant. This one I read as, "Way to be aware of your surroundings" with a dash of, "Two wine bottles and no glass? Being a bit of a lush today, aren't we?" Well, yes. Maybe I am being a bit of a lush, but who cares. Obviously not me.
"Don't 'Babe' me, Ranger." I haven't seen him or spoken to him in three weeks, and that's all I get?! The men in my life really know how to make a girl feel like a million bucks.
"What would you rather I do?" Now there's a loaded question
"Use your words. I know they're in there somewhere. Today is not a one-word response kind of day."
"Do you want me to stay?" Again, loaded question.
"You don't have to. I'll be fine." Right? I haven't broken down yet. So far, so good.
"Do you want to come back to Rangeman with me?" I'm pretty sure he's trying to break me down.
"I'll be fine, Ranger. Really."
I figured I should probably open my eyes now. And boy, am I glad I did. Rather than his issue Rangeman uniform, he was wearing distressed, stone washed jeans that fit him perfectly, a deep navy blue V-neck t-shirt that clung to him deliciously, and black boots.
"What's the occasion?" I asked, scanning over his body, multiple times, slowly.
"What do you mean?"
"You're dressed…normal. Well, normal for the everyday person. Not you."
"I was hoping you hadn't eaten dinner yet."
Huh? He was asking me to dinner? Dressed like that? Maybe I did drink a little too much wine.
"Joe brought pizza over, but that was a while ago now. What time is it anyway?"
"Almost six o'clock." Thanks to the wine, I hadn't realized just how cold the water had become.
He held his hand out, inviting me out of the bathtub.
"Um, you do know I'm naked under the bubbles, right?" I don't know why I'm embarrassed by Ranger seeing me naked. Hell, I hadn't even known him a week before he saw me in my birthday suit for the first time.
"That's what I'm hoping for." The smile that came along with that comment was enough to send heat through my entire body that, if I hadn't jumped out of the tub that minute, the water might start to boil.
Ranger walked out of the bathroom, but returned a minute later with a towel and my robe. He held it out for me to step into. The slight embarrassment I once had seemed to have vanished, and I slowly stood up and walking into his welcoming arms. Slowly and gently, he dried me off, spending extra time from my shoulders to my hip bones.
A shiver ran through my entire body and, as much as I tried, I couldn't suppress the moan that escaped from deep in my throat. I felt Ranger's touch stop, and his eyes locked on mine. In the blink of an eye, he picked me up bridal style, and was all but running to my bedroom. As he tossed me on the bed, my towel fell completely open, and his eyes dilated with desire. A growl that could only be described as lustful hunger came from deep in his chest before his lips crashed into mine.
His wandering hands were quickly followed by his wandering (and wonderful) mouth and tongue. Just as he reached the promise land, he looked up at me.
"It's over, right?"
"Yes."
"For good?"
"Yes."
"And you want this, right?"
My eyes glazed over with impatient desire.
"Now is not the time to play fifty questions, Ranger."
With that I was awarded a 2000 watt smile, and the most talented tongue in all of Trenton. What better way to end my night.
...
All recognizable content belongs to Janet Evanovich
I'm trying to see where this story is going to go. I have the ideas in my head, I just need to figure out how to put it in an enjoyable story line. Chapters might be shorter than this, but I'll be updating as frequently as my creativity and time allow. Hope you all enjoy!