Author's Note: I'm back everyone! This is my second fanfic but I wanted to make this oneshot. One night I was bored so I wrote this in like two hours. I really enjoyed writing it and I know there's a lot of views on Kagome's attempts of suicide for Inuyasha and all that blabby... but I made my own! So I hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
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"If love were what the rose is,
And I were like the leaf,
Our love would grow together,
In sad or sighing weather."
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Inuyasha sat on a tree overlooking the landscape that contained the well. The well that sends a school girl 450 years into the future. The well that the school girl should be coming out of soon.
Kagome had left a couple hours ago because she had to go back home to get some medicine for the group. They had ran out and they needed to go on another shard hunt so they needed their trusty medical supplies. So here, Inuyasha waits for Kagome to return so they can leave to collect the shards.
Inuyasha sat on the tree, impatiently tapping his foot. He has been waiting ever since Kagome left and if it was one thing that he wasn't good at, it would be waiting. 'Where the hell is she!' Inuyasha looked at the well but still no sign of the raven-haired girl or her jasmine scent. He huffed and jumped down from the tree with grace as he touched the ground with no signs of an effort. He walked over to the well and was determined to go in and get the girl. 'I gave her enough time. Damn wench!' was his last thought, but as he was about to travel through the well he smelt a familiar scent. His whole body froze and he turned around to see a woman dressed in the familiar miko robes.
"K…Kikyo."
Kikyo stared at Inuyasha with blank eyes and no signs of an acknowledgment. She looked at the well and back to Inuyasha. "Where were you going Inuyasha?"
Inuyasha looked down, "I was going…"
"To get my reincarnation." she finished. She smiled and began to turn around. "Come with me Inuyasha. We have many things to discuss."
Inuyasha looked back up to see Kikyo leaving through the batch of trees. He followed her without even a glance back at the well and all thoughts about going to get Kagome, erased from his mind.
With a yellow backpack swung around her shoulder, Kagome put on her shoes and opened the shoji door of the shrine house.
"Bye Mom, bye Souta!" she said as she closed the door and ran toward the well house. On her way there, she saw her grandfather sweeping the shrine grounds.
"Bye grandpa!" she yelled as she waved him off.
"Bye Kagome!" her grandfather said as he continued to sweep the shrine.
Kagome opened the well house doors and slammed it shut. She knew she was late. She can already picture Inuyasha's face and feel his anger from her lateness but it wasn't her fault. The stupid cashier woman was having problems, since it was her first day, and she had to wait for the woman to get all her items scanned. It took her quite a while so she had to hurry up and pack and she didn't even get to chat with her family because she knew a certain hanyou would be furious once she got back.
Kagome jumped in the well and watched as the blue and purple lights danced around her. She smiled as she saw the bottom and touched land. She looked up to a bright sky but no angry hanyou.
"Inuyasha can you help me out?" she called, but no one answered.
"Hello!" she called again but still no one answered. 'I wonder where he is."
So she hauled her backpack on her back and used the vines to get out of the deep well. When she finally got out, she pushed herself over the ledge and sat on the lip of the well. She felt around with her miko powers for Inuyasha's aura but she couldn't sense it nearby. 'I was expecting an angry hanyou…I wonder where he is.'
Kagome grabbed her backpack and left the well within the clearing. She walked along a path that would take her to a village containing her friends. Kaede's village. Everyone was probably waiting for her in Kaede's hut so she figured that maybe Inuyasha was waiting for her there. She smiled to herself. 'He must be giving everyone a hard time with his stubborn, impatient attitude.' Kagome chuckled at that as the village came into view.
Inuyasha followed Kikyo into a clearing. He remembered this clearing like it's the back of his mind. There, standing in all its glory, stood the Goshinboku. The Tree of Ages, which held him to it for half a century. He slept on this tree for 50 years, he was pinned on this tree for 50 years, and 50 years ago, he was betrayed by this woman in front of him. This woman who he cared about so much had betrayed him. Inuyasha felt a very deep emotion for Kikyo.
Back then, he had stayed by her side. He watched out for her and she watched out for him. Soon, they became closer, more than friends. Kikyo had asked him to become a human for her so he agreed, so he could be with her. But something happened that changed their fate so cruelly, that it separated them and she lost her life. Because of him. Because he was a fool to believe that she would have actually betrayed him. He should have been there for her. When she was attacked by that hideous demon Naraku, he should have been there to protect her. But he wasn't.
Now he is standing behind the woman he cared about and the woman he failed to protect. The woman who showed him what it was liked to be loved by another. The woman who had taught him that maybe some people in this world is good after all. The woman who had pinned him to this tree for 50 years.
"It's been a while." Kikyo said as she broke the silence between the two. She turned around and gazed at Inuyasha's lovely amber eyes. "How have you been Inuyasha?"
Inuyasha looked at Kikyo with concern. "Me? What about you? Has Naraku been hunting you down?" he said as he walked closer to Kikyo.
They were both hidden from the sun, under the protection of the Goshinboku. The place where they departed each other is the place that they are seeing each other again. Kikyo looked into Inuyasha's eyes and smiled.
"That is what I wanted to talk to you about."
"I'm back!" Kagome said as she entered Kaede's hut. Everyone looked up at the new visitor and smiled.
"Kagome" Sango greeted as she stood up to hug her friend
"Hey Sango." Kagome said as she dropped her bag near the wall and hugged her best friend. Kagome and Sango have become much closer. They respect each other as sisters now and they have that sisterly bond that 'blood' sisters possess.
They let go of each other and Shippo suddenly jumped into Kagome's arms.
"Kagome. What took you so long?" he said as he crossed his arms and gave her a pout face.
Kagome smiled at his childish antics. "Sorry Shippo. I had a problem getting the supplies."
"Did anything bad happen Kagome?" Miroku asked from his sitting position next to Kaede.
She shook her head. "No nothing like that. Just a hold up that's all."
Shippo jumped off Kagome's arms and sat next to Kaede to resume his coloring. Kagome had brought him some crayons and a coloring book to keep him company so he was very occupied now a days. Kaede looked up to see Kagome confused.
"What is it child?" she asked.
"Oh. Um, do you guys know where Inuyasha is?"
Sango and Miroku shook their heads. "We haven't seen him ever since you went back home. He said that he was going to wait for you by the well. Was he not there?" Sango asked.
Kagome shook her head. 'I wonder if he's alright.' "Um, I'm going to go look if he's okay." she said as she left the hut.
The adults looked at each other knowingly at Kagome's actions. They all smiled but resumed with what they were doing before Kagome came back. Shippo smelt something sweet from Kagome's bag so he paused his coloring, went to her backpack and picked out the lollipops that were there. He opened one, shoved it into his drooling mouth, and went back to his coloring book with a happy smile.
Kagome walked through the woods on a mission to find the hanyou. She thought that maybe he would be on his favorite tree thinking, or whatever he does on it. So she decided to check there first. Kagome continued to walk under the shades of the trees above her, some blocking out the rays of the sun completely while others gave her a taste of the heat. She hummed to herself and played with her hair.
It has been about four years ever since she first came to the Sengoku Jedai. The group had been through thick and thin together and they had survived it all. They had become closer too through their journeys. So have Kagome and Inuyasha. Although Inuyasha will not admit it, Kagome thinks that Inuyasha holds a lot of respect for her now. They have been through a lot together; both of them had always had each other's backs. Inuyasha had become a little more patient with the group but his impatient habits still comes back occasionally.
Kagome feels that Inuyasha has matured since the first time she met him. He has become a handsome hanyou and a very strong one too. She wondered what would happen once the jewel was whole. 'Will I have to go back to my time? Leave everyone? Leave…him?' Kagome shook that thought away. She didn't want to think about leaving Inuyasha. Kagome now realizes that she holds great feelings for Inuyasha, feelings that would probably never be returned. She secretly wished that it could though. She had a doubt that maybe Inuyasha felt the same way about her, maybe more than just a friendship or a jewel shard detector. Maybe, just maybe, Kagome could find the happiness she desired from him. To be with him and to love him.
Kagome stopped her movements when she heard voices up ahead. She couldn't make it out so she decided to go a little farther so she could hear what the people were saying. Kagome walked up behind a tree and peered around it. She regretted it the moment she saw who it, or they, was. Kagome looked at Inuyasha with hurtful eyes. 'Why is he with her? What are they talking about?'
Kagome stilled and breathed slowly so she could hear their conversation.
"Inuyasha. You do know that I still have feelings for you, right?" Kikyo asked as she turned around to look at him.
He nodded, as he couldn't stop looking into her eyes. 'She seems so sad. Kikyo, what happened to you?'
Kikyo walked up to Inuyasha and was barely inches away from his body. "Inuyasha."
Kagome's heart started to beat faster. 'What is she doing?' She didn't want to see anymore of this. She wanted to run as far away from here as she could, but she couldn't. Some part inside of her wanted to see what Kikyo was going to do to her… to Inuyasha.
"Kikyo. Why do you still suffer?" Inuyasha asked her with pity in his eyes. He could smell her scent of grave soil and bones but he didn't mind that.
"I suffer because I am still on this earth. I'm dead Inuyasha. I don't belong here, walking with humans, and walking with life," she said as she looked down at her hands.
Inuyasha looked at her hands as well. He couldn't take it anymore. Kikyo suffered for him, she died for him and now she's still suffering because of him. He grabbed her hands and pulled her to him to fill in the empty space between them. Kikyo was rather surprised by his actions as he put his arms around her and hugged her for all it was worth. She put her arms around his muscular figure and hugged him, wishing that she could live this moment forever.
Kagome knew that this was going to happen. She knew that she would start to cry, it happened every time. But why did Inuyasha have to grab Kikyo and hug her? Tears started to form in her lovely brown eyes but she would not cry, not now, not in their presence. But her thoughts were broken by the sound of his deep voice.
"Kikyo, I promise, I will do whatever I can to help you. To stop you from suffering so much," he vowed as he put his cheek on her head.
Kikyo sighed and closed her eyes. "You promise?"
Inuyasha smiled, "I promise. I want to help you Kikyo. I will never let anything happen to you again. I will always protect you."
Kagome couldn't take it anymore. She definitely would start to cry soon from hearing Inuyasha's vows for Kikyo. She backed away from the tree, away from the hanyou she loved, and away from the couple who seemed to be in their own little world. She took little steps away, shaking the voices out of her head, making her lovely raven hair to sway back and forth, denying the fact that Inuyasha was taken away from her. Then, her steps started to become bigger and soon she whipped around and started to run away. She ran away from the biggest heart killer in the world. She couldn't take it anymore.
'I thought he loved me.'
Kagome ran through the trees. The trees that have provided her with the protection from the sun. Protection. He had given his protection to Kikyo. He had promised to protect Kikyo no matter what. Once, he had given his protection to her but now she knew that it was all a lie. Before Kagome knew it, a teardrop had slipped its way out of her eye and made its way down her cheek.
'I thought he cared.'
Kagome ran and ran. She ran away from the nightmare that will plague her for days. She ran away from the hurt and betrayal she felt for the one hanyou, the hanyou who stole her heart, and the hanyou who ripped it apart right in front of her face.
'Why Inuyasha? Do you really love her? Do you love her after all this time?'
That must be it. Inuyasha must still love Kikyo after all these years, after all this time of being betrayed by her and being hunted by her, after all these years of being with him and caring for him, he still loved Kikyo. He loves her. Only her. Kagome began to huff and puff as tears ran down her lovely face but she had run past the well without a second glance. She did not wish to go home. Home. Where is home? Is it here? Is it 450 years in the future or in the past? She doesn't know anymore. This world has become a home to her as well. She wanted to stay here after the search for the jewel shards. She wanted to stay by Inuyasha's side, support him during battle and take care of his wounds as she always did. But not anymore.
'Inuyasha loves Kikyo. There's no place for me here.'
She wanted to stay with Inuyasha but she knew that now she couldn't, so long as he would always hold Kikyo close in his heart, she could never compete with that. They had loved each other once, and they still do. She couldn't break it apart, she wouldn't. It's not in her nature to do so. But oh, how she wanted to. For once, can't she do something for her? Can't she make herself happy for once, and do something selfish? Kagome finally stopped. Her legs were hurting and her lungs burned but she didn't care.
'Why am I here? Why do I always come back?'
She had her left hand grasping her shirt above her heart. How it hurt. Her heart felt torn and stabbed as it beat rapidly from the huge run she just did. She took huge gasps to fill her hurting lungs with air. Kagome realized where she had run to through her sadness. She gazed out at her surroundings. It was beautiful. She stood on a cliff, above the lands of Japan. The land was so green and lush and it held so much peace. It seemed to mock her with its peaceful life and Kagome smiled. Not from the heart but from a crazy person's mind.
'Peace. Peace? Is that what I so desire?'
Kagome's face was covered with tears but she couldn't feel it dripping down her face. Her whole body was numb. 'How could you Inuyasha? After all this time. After all the things we've been through and you still go to her. You still love her.' More tears fell down her face. Kagome stared blankly at the view in front of her. The wind rushed past her in fury of Kagome's troubled state but no one cared. Everyone was in their own little world, their perfect world. Kagome chuckled at that thought.
'Perfect. I've given all I could for them to have a perfect world.'
She tried so hard to make her friends happy. To make them forget what Naraku has done to their lives and to their family. To make them see that tomorrow will come with a smile and cheer them up from yesterday. She tried and she succeeded to making them see that they have a purpose in life. Kagome smiled, a true genuine smile, at knowing that she has brought her friends happiness.
'I'm happy for you all. Happiness is what you all deserve after what you all have lost.'
Everyone had lost something or someone. Inuyasha lost Kikyo, Sango lost her family, Miroku lost his grandfather, and Shippo lost his father. But Kagome had lost no one. So why was she here? She had brought everyone together to help them find happiness but why was she here?
'"I will always protect you."'
Yes. Inuyasha had told that to her after one of Naraku's reincarnations had tried to control her body. He had told her that he would never leave her side again and that he wouldn't let Naraku get her. Now he's turned around and told Kikyo the same thing he told her. The same. That's what Kagome was. She was the same as Kikyo, the same in appearance, the same in spiritual powers. But she wasn't! 'You're her reincarnation.' So what! Kagome is Kagome. Kagome is not Kikyo. She does not look like Kikyo. She is not Kikyo. She is Kagome!
'"I will never let anything happen to you again."'
Now she understands. The reason why she comes 450 years in the past. The reason why she is surrounded by people who lost someone but her. The reason why she had made this time her home and lost love for her real home in the future. The reason was Inuyasha. She comes for him. She comes here to be by his side and to see him another day.
'"I promise."'
Kagome had made a promise to him too. She had promised to be by his side no matter what. She had promised, and just like him, she will break her promise. 'Love?' She understood now. The pain she feels is jealousy, jealousy for Kikyo for stealing Inuyasha away from her. But most of all, betrayal from the one she…she loves. The one who she had fell in love with was taken away from her from the one who she so resembles. However, that will all change.
'He loves her. I can't stop that. But I can make him happy.'
Happiness. That's what she has been trying to do for everyone. Kagome was not one to be selfish. Therefore, she will make others happy; that will make her happy. To know that she could put on a smile other her friends' faces was enough to make her heart swell. But how? How can she make Inuyasha happy?
'"I suffer because I am still on this earth. I'm dead Inuyasha."'
That's it. Kikyo's dead and she's suffering. Inuyasha doesn't like to see Kikyo suffer so she will stop her suffering. She will help Kikyo to help Inuyasha. She will stop Kikyo from suffering and she will stop Inuyasha's suffering as well.
Kagome looked below her, at the ground way beneath her reach. The cliff was high up and she couldn't see the bottom for it was a long drop. Mist had flooded the view and hid the ground beneath. Kagome smiled and looked up to the blue heavens above. She wished for everyone to be happy and to continue living. But most of all, she wished for Inuyasha to be happy with Kikyo. So long as he is happy, she doesn't care.
'I hope you'll be happy Inuyasha…'
Kagome stepped forward as more tears fell from her eyes. One more step, then absolute freedom. Just one more. She took one last glance at the beautiful land.
"I will always love you, Inuyasha."
Kagome took that last step and lost, for gravity had started to control her. The wind rushed through her hair as she had her hands spread out on her sides. It felt like she was flying as her tears flew from her eyes and floated above her as she continued to fall. She closed her eyes. She felt free now. Free to smile. Free to be happy. Free from pain. But out of reach of her beloved hanyou.
Kikyo snapped her eyes open as the souls came flying out of her. She jerked away from Inuyasha and started to float in the air. Inuyasha was terrified that something dangerous was happening to her.
"Kikyo!" he said, trying to reach her but he couldn't with all the lights and spiritual energy stopping him.
Kikyo jerked back and forth, her hair spread out making her look like a goddess. Then, a huge glow entered her and she gasped. 'My soul.' She glowed from head to toe as she was lowered back to the ground. Inuyasha could finally see again so he walked to Kikyo and touched her shoulders.
"Kikyo are you okay?" he asked concerned.
Kikyo looked at him shocked and confused. "My soul. My soul has returned to me."
Inuyasha seemed confused. 'Her soul? But didn't…' If it was possible, Inuyasha felt like a huge bolder came smashing on him and he couldn't breathe. If Kikyo's soul came back to her then that means that it left Kagome's body. 'No.'
It seems that Kikyo read Inuyasha's mind. "Inuyasha, I fear that something has happened to Kagome if my soul has returned to me."
He looked into Kikyo's eyes for reassurance telling him that Kagome might be okay. But she just looked at him with pity and sorrow. No. Inuyasha turned around and ran. He picked up Kagome's scent almost immediately. 'Oh no. She must have seen Kikyo and me together. Kagome…'
Inuyasha ran as if he hadn't run before. He ran with great speed that in no time, he had reached the spot where Kagome's scent was still fresh. It was just at the edge of a cliff. He could smell jasmine in the air, the scent that soothes his soul. But where was Kagome? He didn't see anything that belongs to her but what scared him was exactly that. He didn't see anything but he could smell everything.
He could smell Kagome's tears. 'She was crying. Was it because of me and Kikyo?' He could smell Kagome's tears coming from the cliff as the wind rushed through him. It was as if the wind was mad at him for hurting the girl who cared so much for him. But it couldn't be. Kagome can't be dead. She just couldn't be.
Inuyasha looked over the cliff and couldn't see anything. But he looked down at his feet and saw the piece of the Shikon no Tama that Kagome had. The chain that held it together was ripped and the jewel lay on the ground as if it was thrown away.
'Kagome…why?'
He bent down to pick up the jewel. The jewel that tore him apart 50 years ago. The jewel that started the betrayal between him and Kikyo. Kikyo. Kagome must have seen him and Kikyo together and she must have heard what he said to her. But, why did she have to…? Leave him?
"Why Kagome? Why did you do it?"
This jewel had separated him and Kikyo before and it had stopped their relationship for growing back then. But that was then. He didn't love Kikyo anymore. He realized that he fell in love with her reincarnation. The woman who stayed by his side during all the dangerous battles, the woman who cared for his wounds after the battles and the woman who accepted him as a hanyou. The woman who showed him that people have kind hearts and the woman who has melted the barrier around the heart of a hanyou and made a place within it. Now, she was gone. Taking the place of his heart with her. Inuyasha couldn't believe it as his feet started to wobble from his weakened state.
He could feel Kikyo's presence behind him. Kikyo walked up to Inuyasha but stayed a few inches away from him as she gazed at his back with sorrowful eyes.
"She did this for you Inuyasha. The part of her soul that returned to me feels torn and hurt. She must have seen us together and thought that you forgot her."
"I never forget Kagome." Inuyasha said ferociously as he whipped his head around to glare at Kikyo with his tainted red eyes. "I never have and I never will."
He turned back around to gaze at the landscape below him, as his eyes soon became that beautiful amber that the girl loved so much. He tossed Kikyo the jewel shards. Kikyo caught it and felt its smooth texture within her now warm hands.
"She wants you to be happy Inuyasha." Kikyo said as she turned around and started to leave to give the hanyou a minute to think this through.
'Happy…' How can he be happy when the person who showed him happiness is gone? Kagome was always the one who cheered everyone up. She gave everyone happiness and forgot about her own. She just wanted to see people happy. Inuyasha just couldn't understand how he could ever be happy without her. During the past years with her, Inuyasha had realized that he held deep emotions for Kagome. Emotions that he felt were forbidden because Kagome was such a pure girl and he was a tainted hanyou. However, he felt it anyway and he had tried to block those feelings but he couldn't any longer. So he accepted it. He admitted to himself long ago that he loved Kagome and vowed to tell her once Naraku was out of their lives so they could start one together. But that would never be. He would never be able to tell the woman he loves that he loves her. All because she thought he would be happy with Kikyo. All because of his happiness. Again, he lost someone precious to him and again it was because of him that she died. 'Love.' Kagome had showed him love and he would never forget her, never. One day, he will see Kagome again and tell her what he had always wanted to tell her.
"I will see you again Kagome. And I will tell you." Inuyasha said to the wind as it brushed away a tear from his watery eye. If Kagome had died for him to live and be happy then he will respect her sacrifice and her wishes, but he will try to be happy without her to smile at him everyday. "I love you," he said as the wind carried it to the one he loved.
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Rose leaves, when the rose is dead,
Are heaped for the belovèd's bed;
And so thy thoughts, when thou art gone,
Love itself shall slumber on.
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Well what do you think? Do you like it? Is it goodPLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT... Thank you!
-Kaleialohalani