Well it's the middle of the night. I have not edited this at all, trust me, its almost one in the morning. Well I hope you enjoy it…. Animal lovers might not but hey, its supposed to be funny!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry and I don't own a turtle….and I dont have Zombie parents either thats just odd

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One sunny day Harry Potter and his Parents were at the Zoo. His parents, unfortunately, were zombies that were just trying to get Harry to die so they would be a happy zombie family, but that wasn't working out that well.

"Mummy! Daddy! Lookit! They're having a turtle petting session!" Little Harry giggled and ran towards the turtles.

"ggrrahhhhggghhhhh" said Lily

"mmeehhhhgghhhhh" James said a little too fast. Now if you spoke Zombian you would understand it like this:

"Don't go too far son!" said lily

"Lily, lets go shag in the loo" James said a little too fast. I think, as the narrorator, that I should not edit what they say from this moment on because of the poor souls that don't want to see Zombies shag. Anyways back to Harry.

Harry was visiting a part of the exhibit where they had the huge turtles. Now Harry not knowing anything at the current moment, tried to jump in with the turtles out of excitement. But the mean old zoo keeper wouldn't let our Harry die at the age of five. He cought him jumping and whipped him fifty times across the legs.

"raaaaaghhhhhhhhhhmeh!" screamed zombie Lily.

"nnnaaaaaghhh. Mehhgonnagh!" said James

But once again, Harry just giggled and ran towards the turtles that you could pet. Now the nice animal control man working with the smaller turtles let Harry hold one of them.

"Here you go little sexy piece of meat!" he said, but Harry being a retarded kid just giggled and took the turtle that was being offered to him and he started petting it.

"Mummy! The turtle is nice come and pet it!" but Lily just stradeled James. Harry giggled and continued to pet the turtle. The turtle was getting mad. All it did day after day was get pat. He tried to fly away, but it didn't work.

Ze fucking kid vont let me go! It said.

Suddenly, all the turtles sprung up at Harry and snapped his head off.

"yghhhhhhnighehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhh!" Lily exclaimed with joy.

"YYYYYYYYGNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNHHH!" James felt so pround. The Zombie family walked away together and started to kill anyone that looked at them. They were a happy family though until Harry turned eleven and got his Hogwarts letter…

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DUN DUN DUN! Tune in next time for Zombie Harry Potter attacks Hogwarts!