Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach
Author's Note: My very first Bleach fan fiction. Please read and review! Thanks!
Warning: Major spoilers, manga chapter 53-57
Ichigo's POV
"That Rukia… is she really not coming back tonight? It's already past 2am in the morning…" I said aloud as I relieve my bladder.
Darn Rukia…
Why the hell am I waiting for her, anyway? Why can't I sleep? Why am I thinking if she will ever come home? If she had already eaten? If she's okay? Why the hell am I worried?
"Well it's okay if she doesn't come back tonight… At least I can forget about those shinigami duties and just get a full night sleep for once…" I said aloud again.
'Liar!' I heard a small voice inside me.
I'm not really good at lying, huh? Full night sleep for once? It was so obvious I couldn't sleep without her. It's past 2am right? Urgh! What the hell's wrong with her!
'I think it should be, what the hell's wrong with you!' the small voice inside me stroked again.
Yeah, what the hell is wrong with me! I'm already not used on sleeping without her… I'm used to hear her voice, her taunts. I'm used to see her actions… The hell! I just didn't saw her in a few hours and I'm already missing her? What the hell's wrong with me!
Rukia doesn't belong here… Time will come, that she'll leave me… I shouldn't be used of her around… It will hurt too much… I don't want her to leave… I want her to be with me… always…
"mmph!" My trail of thoughts was snapped at the weird muffled voice I heard.
"Wh- what the..! What's that noise!"
--
Rukia's POV
What am I thinking? I don't belong here… Why am I suddenly feeling these things?
Why?
Inoue…
Ishida…
Sado…
Tatsuki…
Kon…
Minna…
Ichigo…
Why am I thinking of them? All of them except Ichigo and Kon will forget me as soon as I got back to Soul Society anyway… Why am I thinking about the friendship?
Friendship? What's that? I am a shinigami… We're not alike… We're world apart… What's the matter with me?
Ichigo…
They are humans… He's human… I'm not… I couldn't hide forever… Time will come that I will leave this world… I don't want to have these feelings…
It will just make everything harder…when I have to leave…
I have to leave him…now… While I can still control it… While I can still trusts my own decisions… While I can still hold my heart… I have to leave…
Gomen nasai… Ichigo….
Sayonara…
--
Ichigo's POV
"Look at this! She left it where it's easy to find! You still haven't noticed!" Kon shouted at me…Am I being stupid again?
"Wh-what's this?" I asked. Am I so stupid to even ask? It's so obvious… But… I don't want… to… believe…
Then Kon said the words I don't want to hear…
"I just told you! It's a note! She left us! My rukia onee-sama!"
I looked at him. I couldn't believe it… I don't want to believe it… Why did it have to be slapped directly into my face? Why did it have to be the reality?
"left…why! Without telling me anything!" I shouted in anxiety… That stupid girl…
Rukia…baka…
"Shut up! Shut up!How the hell should I know! I was with her before she left! She just left me without any explanation! So why should I care about you!" Kon shouted back.
What the hell! Is Rukia so important to us that we have to be panicky this way! She's just temporary in our lives anyway… She's just passing into my life…
I was silenced… Kon too… I know we both need answers… But it felt like I needed it more than he does…
"… In the end, it's only a single letter that holds all our answers…" I muttered as I started opening her letter. My hands were shaky, I shredded a bit of her note.
"Shit!" I cursed as I flipped the letter. Her note however made me momentarily float in shock. Urgh! She's really good on making it harder for me!
"what…what the hell did she write!"
" … She had the time to write this stupid word puzzle! What the hell is this?" I looked at the weird drawing at the bottom of the letter. At the upper right, it says, 'have fun decoding!' I read the instruction below and found out that the weird drawing is a tanuki (raccoon).
That is… a…. tanuki! I sweatdropped.
"Is this her best effort at drawing a tanuki! The words are in between the word tanuki!" I shouted aloud.
Kon seemed more than eager to read her note. He began decoding, "Let's see… 'I… have… to… leave…"
"'do not look for me or worry." I continued in a slow way. Darn Rukia… She's always making it complicated!
'That's one of the reason, you like her, right?' the small voice taunted me again.
I'm becoming impatient at that small voice and was about to yelled at it when Kon continued on reading, "Burn this letter after you finished reading it… And if you can…"
"'Go into… Hiding… What is this all about? In the end, she still don't explain why she left…" I said still confused. Feelings were making me unable of thinking. Darn…
"You still don't get it?" Kon asked rather impatiently. His face almost pale in worry, shock, anxiety…
"What…?" I prepared on whatever he was supposed to tell me… Base on his gloomy features, it was evident it's not something good. I held my breath.
"Something bad must've happened! 'Burn the letter, go into hiding'… Why else would she be worrying about us! It's so obvious! Something bad happened! She's in trouble with the soul society! For us! She didn't want something to happen to us! That's why rukia one-sama left! Could… she…di-…"
I frowned. I didn't know Kon have brain until that time. The thought of Rukia… no… she couldn't be… I wouldn't allow harm to come to her… I will always protect her…
I cut Kon's words. I don't want to entertain things in my mind… Especially if its' bad things.
"That's enough…Don't start counting birds until the eggs are hatched… I'll become a shinigami and find Rukia…" I said with determination…
I will not let her get hurt….
I will not let her go away…
I will always be with her….
I will protect her…
--
Kon's POV
I was lying at Ichigo's bed holding my teddy bear body, waiting…for her to get back…
My Rukia onee-sama…
I hated shinigami's… But then, she and Ichigo came along and I never did hated shinigamis's again… I thought back then that she is a filthy monster…all shinigamis are monsters killing for their own selfishness… I thought when they caught me that I will cease to exist… But she took me…and cared for me well…
Not necessarily well… but I am too grateful that at least she took me and let me live…
But now…
I was wondering…
Why did she have to leave me!
Why did she have to let me be alone with Ichigo?
Why can't she just let me… be with her…?
She left without any explanation and then I found out she left to protect us… Protect? I don't need her protection if it means she's leaving me… She and Ichigo are the reasons why I exist…
Demo…
I hated myself for being too weak… That I just have to lie in here and waited for Ichigo to take her back… I want to protect her too… But then again… I am a modified soul… This is my purpose… To take over Ichigo's body while he's doing his shinigami duties…
Rukia onee-sama…
Please be back…
Ichigo…
I'm counting on you…
--
Rukia's POV
"kurosaki Ichigo! The one who will defeat you! Remember it well!"
My eyes widened as I saw him standing before the unconscious Ishida. That idiot! Why did he have to come! I told him to go into hiding didn't I?
"Ichigo! That idiot!Why did he come here!" I said aloud. Those feelings again… is taking over me…I looked at him with concern, as I opened and closed my fist.
Ichigo… Why?
He never really followed me, didn't he? Why is he always making it difficult for me?
I heard the sound of clashing swords as I stared at his serious face. My mind is shouting at him, to go away… Why can't he understand me?
I don't want him…to get…hurt…
I don't want him to die…
That's why…
I'm protecting him…
With my life…
I saw Renji slashed his body and I almost run towards him… But my body can't move… I watch the sight of his blood dripping into the cold ground… It felt as if, I received his wounds too… Maybe that's the reason why I can't move….
'You could see the difference in their strength after the 1st strike. Now I feel like my skill can't match up… I thought he would run before he got badly injured. That's what I was hoping for. But… Ichigo obviously wouldn't run because of that. That reality… I feel I knew from the beginning. Can you still move Ichigo?' I thought as I clenched my fist… I will protect him…
'If you can move, this is our chance! You're going to get away! Now! I'm counting on you! Hurry! Run away!' I called him in my mind before I jumped and grab Renji's zanpakutou.
"What the…! Rukia, what the hell are you doing! Hey let go! Are you trying to make this into a bigger crime you idiot!" Renji shouted at me but I can barely hear him. My stare was locked at Ichigo's lying body.
"R-run Ichigo! Stand up! Hurry! Get up and ran away! Ichigo!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as I saw him stood up and clenched his sword… I was full with hope again…
Run…
Ichigo…
"the hell? You still have enough strength to move around? Well that's good. Giving the last blow to somebody who is almost dead is boring. One more time then… leeeeeet's go! Enjoy your final moments of fighting!"
I felt myself thrown into the hard ground. But it doesn't matter… What matter to me…is only him…
"Ichigo! If you can stand up, then run! You have to run, Ichigo! Ichi..!" I screamed again.
He didn't run…
What's wrong with that idiot!
--
Ichigo's POV
She wanted me to run? She's really stupid! She didn't know I wouldn't leave her?
Baka…
But her voice gave me strength to stand up and fight again… I wanted to protect her so much that I became faster, stronger…
Rukia…
I'm about to finish Renji when I saw my zanpakutou cut in half. I saw her Brother standing far from me holding the other half… Impossible…
In a moment, he was in my back, as the wounds I got gushed out so much blood…
Rukia…
'What's going on? Did I… get attacked? I can't tell whether he attacked from the back or the front. It hurts.' I thought as I watched my own dripping blood.
"You're slow. Even when you're toppling down." I heard him talked for the first time.
"Byakuya aniki !" I heard her yelled… That was the last thing I heard before I fell down…
Rukia…
--
Rukia's POV
I saw him toppled down and my knees get shaky…
Ichigo…
Is he dead?
I failed to protect him…?
"Ichigo…!" I run towards him… But in a flash, I found myself pinned on a post.
--
Renji's POV
What's wrong with her? Why is she still running towards that boy? Doesn't she know that it will just worsen her punishment?
"Let go, Renji! Ichigo is…!" she yelled as she keep her stare at his bloody figure. She looked at that rookie as if he's someone more important than her own life… Like we had been taking away something precious to her…
What are these feelings? Am I hurt?
"What the hell is wrong with you! Look! That rookie's dead! There's no more point getting into more trouble over a dead guy! Get it! If you go near him, another 20 years will be added to your sentence!" I yelled back. I'm so pissed off…Why is she ready to sacrifice herself for a mere human? Why is she keeping it hard for me to protect her?
"So what! I… I was the one who dragged him into this! It's my fault he died! Since it's my fault he died…! Is it so wrong to go to him!" she shouted at the top of her lungs… It's the first time she talked to me this way… I don't want to hurt her… I don't want her to hate me…I'm just protecting her right? But it seems like she didn't want my protection…
It seems like… that boy…
Is… her happiness…
Her life…
Am I wrong? Are we wrong?
--
Ichigo's POV
"In other words… Even if your punishment worsens… You will still want to be in the side of … this boy."
I heard Byakuya said… I heard what they all said… I'm just consuming my energy to prepare for our fight… I woudn't allow them to take her away from me, right?
"Aniki…" Rukia muttered.
"I see now Rukia. This boy… resembles him, a lot." I heard him said again. Who do I resemble a lot? My curiosity awakened.
The way he talked… it's as if that 'him' is the reason she is fighting for me… Because I resemble somebody who means a lot to her…
I grabbed Byakuya's robe and asked him, "What do you mean already dead…? And resembling somebody… Don't talk about me without my say in it!"
"Ichi…!" I saw her eyes widened in shock at the corner of my sight.
"Let go rookie…" Byakuya said in a cold tone.
"Can't hear you… Look at me if you wanna say something." I smirked as I tried to talk despite of my wounds.
He started to draw his sword as he said, "really? You won't have that arm for long"
I was shocked when I felt someone kicked my hand holding his robes. I looked up and saw who it was: Rukia…
I was confused… I was shocked, surprised, hurt… I was so hurt that the pain of my wounds couldn't compete anymore…
"What… what the hell, ruki…"I stuttered as I asked. She cut me off. I wouldn't forget the look she gave me…
Rukia…
"You're a human…! How dare you grab my brother's robe like that! Know your place! Rookie!" she shouted looking down on me… I felt my heart… my pride… my whole of me… get broken…
"what…?" I asked the only question that barely passed my mouth… She looked at Byakuya and told him, "Let's go Aniki. After seeing such crude behavior, I've finally come to my senses. Please take me to soul society. I humbly accept my sins and my punishment"
"hey… w…wait! What are you talking about? Rukia…You…!" I struggled to stand up… I wouldn't let her go… I wouldn't let her be taken away from me… Though she broke me, she's still Rukia…
I irked when somebody stomped on my back… The pain of Renji and Byakuya's attack came back…
"You're one deaf asshole. Stop making things worse and just die quietly." Renji told me. Strange… I think I heard something in his voice… was it guilt? Pity?
"There's no point in even killing him this being deliberately. Even if you'll leave him like this, he'll stop breathing on his own. Let's go aniki." I heard her said and realization hit me… She's trying to protect me… again…
"Stop right there, Rukia…! Is this some kind of joke…! You…! Look at me properly! Hey…!" I called her as I tried to rise on my feet so badly… I was hurt more… She's protecting my life by sacrificing her own? Doesn't she know that she's my happiness? That she's my life? She's protecting me by leaving me? Man! It's like telling me to stop… breathing…
"Don't move! Don't… even try to move… one step from there…! If… you try to follow me…! I'll… never forgive you…! ", she welled tears…But it didn't fall… Am I the one hurting her? I couldn't help it but stare at her in pain and shock…
"You're going to die anyway… Conserve your energy and try to linger on for a moment longer…" These were her last words before she leave me… After that, it rained…
Good… I can cry then… But the rain… it added painful memories to me again… Why can't everything be easy for me?
"Very well… I'll just leave him be. Those two attacks were vital… He's chest and collarbone are thoroughly injured. He should die within a half hour. Even by chance if he does happen to live… Not even a speck… of the shinigami powers will be left. Renji."
"Yes, sir. Open!" Renji said then swing his sword. A door appeared and opened, on which the two guys entered first.
I watched Rukia's back as she leaves. She turned and gave me a last serious glance before the gate to Soul Society disappeared.
'I can't say anything. I can't even move. Why…! I came to protect you…but it was me who received help again…!' it was my thought as I clenched my fist…
"AARRRRGH!" I screamed…
I failed to protect her…
I let her leave me…
I let her got taken away…
I'm pathetic….
I was lying in my own pool of blood under the rain that held painful memories…
I hate rain…
'it hurts…it hurts…it's cold…my body feels heavy…it won't stop… the bleeding… the bleeding…' I thought as the cold rain sent me into the darkness…
--
Author's Note: That's it! I'm sorry if there are lots of grammatical errors, I'm not really good in speaking English, you know… I know it's not that good…please bear with me… Anyway thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed this fic! Arigatou!