Okay, so I've decided to write my own version of Nevermore and I hope you guys like it! It's different than the original, but all the major themes are the same! I've also added my own twist for Max. Enjoy!
Max
I lied back in my bed, sighing. We were back in our secluded home in Oregon. Nobody quite knew what our next move was. All I knew is that I wanted to curl up in a ball and fall asleep, never wanting to wake up again. We had been back from Paris for two months now and all anyone could do was mope around the house and cry quietly. My routine sort of went like this: Wake up in the late morning, think about Angel, tread downstairs to sullen faces, eat the cold breakfast Iggy had made earlier, watch Gazzy stare blankly at the wall, listen to Nudge's quiet sobs, get mad at Iggy for no reason because all he does is try to cheer me up, shove Dylan away because he tries to comfort me, go for a long mindless flight, hide in my room and think about all the horrible things in my life, take a nap, raid the cupboard, sit in front of the T.V surrounded by depressed people, either hug and cry to Dylan or shove him away depending on the day, eat dinner in my room, attempt to sleep but continue being woken up by nightmares. And repeat. My baby was gone. Angel was never coming back. I hated talking about her, so the others tried not to bring it up, but just by walking in the room, anyone could tell she was all we could think about. Whatever was left of the old Maximum Ride no longer existed as far as I could tell. The two people who I loved the most in this world and could not live without were gone. That leaves me pretty close to gone too I guess.
I watched the morning light reflect off the mirror in my small room. Suddenly, my stomach churned and I found myself rushing out of the room to empty it in the bathroom. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention I spent my mornings there recently? On top of all this, I was sick I guess. Or maybe I ate some bad food or something. I really hadn't worried about the food shopping and sometimes forgot to throw out the bad stuff and replace it. I hadn't told the others and wondered if they experienced the same urges to suddenly puke. I made a mental note to check for bad food when I went downstairs. I was beginning to get annoyed by waking up and having to empty my stomach. After I cleaned myself up, I went downstairs and prepared myself for the miserable day without Angel in my head or Fang by my side. I had been getting used to a Fangless life and having Dylan, but only Fang loved Angel as much as I did and Dylan could never replace that. That morning I was feeling a little more emotional than usual and allowed tears to escape as I entered the kitchen.
Dylan was by my side in seconds. He hugged me and I knew that I just had to get one good long sloppy disgusting cry in before I could clear my head and come up with a plan on what to do next. When I was done and feeling totally embarrassed, I looked up at Dylan's blue eyes filled with concern. "Max?" He asked, I looked around and saw all the other faces looking at me with confused looks. I never, and I mean never broke down like this in front of the flock. The flock. My flock. I looked at the faces of the kids I practically raised. Two of them may be missing, possibly gone forever, but I still had these three and Dylan of course. Suddenly something in my mind snapped. I needed to be Maximum Ride again. I needed to be the fearless leader. I didn't need Fang anymore since I had Dylan who would do anything for me at the snap of a finger. The others needed me as well. Especially Gazzy, the youngest member now, who was only 9 and lost his little sister. At least I think he's 9, we really don't know our exact ages and throw a birthday party so we all age at once whenever it tickles our fancies. I'm supposedly 15 or 16, but who really knows.
As I was contemplating my new revelation, the rest of the flock remained frozen, trying to read my face. "I'm okay." I said. For the first time in forever I sounded like I really was okay. My voice didn't quiver and grow soft. I rang with authority and confidence. I looked at their faces that seemed even more concerned and confused than before. I was too. I made another note to remember to start controlling my emotions again. I still had an aching in my heart that would never go away, but I tried to push it aside and go forward with a new purpose.
"Oh." Was all Dylan could manage. I shook myself out of his arms and gazed over my family, trying to seem in charge.
"So, Ig." I began, "What did you make us for breakfast?"
He seemed caught off guard by my sudden alertness. Normally I was a zombie who walked around in a depressed daze. Not anymore. I thought to myself.
"Um, there are some scrambled eggs in the fridge for you." He replied.
I nodded my head to him, then added a "thanks" because he couldn't see me, obviously being blind and all. I made my way over to the refrigerator and suddenly stopped. "Did you check to see if they were expired?" I asked, remembering the fact that I couldn't stop puking.
"Uh, they weren't." He replied. "I don't think any of the food in there is. Why?"
I wondered if I should tell them, but decided against it. Nobody else seemed to be experiencing this and I didn't want them to worry now that I was trying to be a leader again. It would pass sooner or later. "Just wondering," I said back coolly as I opened the door to grab my food. "I think I need to go shopping again." The fridge looked pretty pathetic considering the amount of food a bunch of bird-kids eat, which, by the way, is a lot. I could feel their eyes burning into me with every move I made. I understood they were just wondering why I suddenly came out of my little coma. "Guys," I attempted to reassure them, "I really am fine." They looked doubtful, but let me eat in peace nonetheless. Finally deciding to do your job again, huh Max? Completely caught off guard, I screamed and my fork full of food went crashing to the ground. So unlike me to get caught off guard like that and be all jumpy, I immediately was filled with furry at myself for being so stupid and my lovely Voice for being so annoying. "Long time no hear." I muttered bitterly. Again, everyone came rushing over to me to see what the matter was. Was this self-sufficient strong leader thing always so hard? I quickly told them I stepped on a piece of glass, but I was fine. Nobody knew about my Voice, and quite frankly, I wanted to keep it that way.
Oh yeah, for those of you who don't know, I have a Voice. I can hear it in my head. It comes and goes as it pleases, often leaving annoying messages and not answering my questions. I have no idea who it is or where it comes from, but it's been there for quite a while. I used to think it was Jeb, but now I'm not sure. Either way, it suddenly decided to pop up after being gone for so long and I hated it. After I was able to calm everyone down, I started eating and waited for it to appear again. Hello Maximum Ride. It has been a while. I rolled my eyes at the ominous Voice. I really had no idea what it was. Oh, Max. You think you're finally safe, but what if she is still out there-alive? That made me jolt up. I made sure nobody was watching my strange movements. Angel? I thought, Could she still be alive? I wasn't even something I had considered. After I saw the bloody sneaker I lost it and it took just over a month to get my head back on straight. Could my baby still be out there somewhere?
Max, Max, Max. If the Voice showed emotion, I could see it making a "tsk" sound. Think. Is she really dead and gone just like that? For the first time ever, the more the Voice spoke, the more sense it made. I suddenly knew what I needed to do. I needed to find Angel. I was going to thank the Voice or come up with some sarcastic remark, when it decided to throw me a curve ball and go right back to being the stupid, annoying Voice it always was. You be careful Max. Actions have consequences and you could find yourself with an extra problem if you are careless. Huh? I went right back to being confused again. That's the Voice we all know and love! Um, could you please be a little clearer with me? I thought, but of course I was met with silence. Once again, I was filled with rage. I attempted to sort out my thoughts while finishing my meal.
Okay, so what do I know? I know that Iggy, Gazzy, Nudge, and Dylan are safe and here with me. Worried and depressed, but safe. We can work with that. I know that Angel could possibly still be alive. But I don't know for sure and I have no idea where she could be or what condition she is in. Was she captured? Was she rescued? Did she manage to fly away on her own? All these thoughts cluttered my brain and I shook my head to clear it. Back to the basics. So, who else? Oh right, Fang. Fang. My head and heart ached when I thought of him, so I often tried not to. I honestly didn't know where he was or what he was doing. I could only assume he was off with his own new gang after he left me for the second time. They supposedly were going to go off and save the world, which last time I checked was my job. Okay, so I wasn't doing too great, but how far could those wingless freaks (and Fang and his lovely Maya of course) go? He said that when we get together, all Hell breaks loose and we are better off apart. Sure, I knew this was true after seeing what happened in Paris, but I still didn't want him to go. I was overcome with a sense of longing, but forced myself to look at the facts. Fang was gone. He left me after everything we went through and he is never going to come back to me. He freaking replaced me with…well me!
Again, I shook my head to clear those thoughts. I was getting really bad at controlling my feelings. Ugh, it made me feel so weak and vulnerable. Maximum Ride is not weak and vulnerable. I have carefully built walls that no one can penetrate. Too bad they seemed to be crumbling lately. Okay, who's next? Total? Check, safe with me. Ella. My mom. Jeb. Thoughts of all those people hit me like a ton of bricks and I almost fell out of my chair. I was relieved that nobody was looking at me anymore because between the crying, screaming, Voice, and my thoughts, I probably looked like a complete mental case. I honestly thought I was going to throw up again, so I dropped my plate on the counter and sprinted back upstairs to puke out everything I just ate. Yeah, I really looked like a winner this morning.
After I was done throwing up all over the toilet, I went to leave the bathroom and get some air, when I looked up to see a wide eyed Dylan standing in the doorway. Just great.
"Are you okay Max?" He asked, his voice filled with so much concern I would have thrown up again if there was anything left in me.
"Just peachy." I growled, shoving past him to get out of room.
He caught my arm, "Max. You just threw up. Does this have anything to do with what you were saying this morning about the bad food? Because I know all the food is good. I keep the kitchen stocked."
"Well good for you." I didn't even know what was going on, so I really didn't want Dylan to start prying me for information just then. "Aren't you just wonderful? Keeping us all fed." What was wrong with me? Dylan didn't deserve any of this and yet I knew my mean tone and cold words were like daggers to him. I needed to get out of there. Fast.
"Max…" He began. I just quietly grumbled a few unintelligent words, hoping he would just let me be.
Finally, I looked up at him, "Dylan, please. Just let me go for a flight to clear my head." He opened his mouth and I knew what he was going to say. "Alone." I stated before walking past him and going outside.
The fresh air felt amazing whipping around me. I soared high above the mountain tops, making the trees below me look like ants. I grinned and breathed in the cool mountain air. This was the absolute best thing about my screwed up life. Just flying. It almost made me feel sorry for normal kids who didn't have wings. Seriously, best therapy ever. Finally, I decided to think and sort out my mind. Right now I needed to focus on getting my Angel back and nothing else. Just take everything one step at a time. I wondered where she could be. I mean lots of psycho scientists and gazillionaires wanted us dead. Our latest and greatest enemy was Dr. HG. Could he have taken her? The last time I spoke with him, he was blabbering on about me and Dylan reproducing and heirs and the future and blah blah blah. He didn't seem like someone who would take her. Then there's the One Light freak show. Maybe they took her. Plan to preform rituals or something and get the rest of us on their side. Maybe, but for some reason I couldn't see it. Especially after what happened in Paris. I thought more and more as I flew farther and farther away. This wasn't somebody new. This was somebody who we knew. Where it all started. The only people who truly know what we are capable of. We are their pride and joy. I'm their golden child. They created me to survive the apocalypse. Everything else that has happened is just a result of that. They've taken her before and they have her now. The realization dawned on me and I knew where we were headed next. I would give anything to go anywhere but there. Anywhere. Not Antarctica, no dry desert, not anywhere near Europe, or any other country for that matter. No, we had to go to California. We had to go to the School.
I sped back to the house and quickly told everyone my plan. At first, they freaked. I mean, I don't blame them. Our worst and oldest memories go back there. We were experimented on, tortured, forced to watch others die from experimentation, lived in dog crates, and constantly brushed death. I hated it just as much as everyone else, except Dylan of course who was only a clone of someone dead and never grew up in the School, but it was the only way to get my baby back. And I would do anything to save my baby.
So, that was it. We had a plan and started making preparations. My life suddenly had a new purpose. My routine suddenly became more like this: wake up, eat breakfast with the flock, go for a morning flight, do research and training, discuss plans for Angel's escape, eat (I've been doing that a lot lately), sleep, just hang out like the good old days, etc. Anyway, it had improved greatly since my discussion with my Voice. I often thought about its last few words and wondered what it could possibly mean. What kind of trouble did the Voice think I was going to get into? The only thing that happened before it "visited" me was that we got back from Paris all sad and depressed. Then, I decided to become a leader again. Did it question my leadership abilities? Did it think I couldn't make good choices? I wanted to scream out loud at it, telling it I made perfectly fine decisions and I could take care of myself.
The only thing that seemed to be bringing me down was the fact that I woke up almost every morning puking my guts out. I still had no idea what was wrong with me and it was starting to wear thin on me. Dylan hadn't said anything about that time he walked in on one of my episodes, but I could feel his eyes on me every morning I walked down the stairs. I wondered if he knew that it happened more often than that one time. Since he didn't confront me about it, I never brought it up. It was one less thing for my recovering flock to worry about. After about two weeks since my proposal, we decided it was time to head off to the School. It was time to face our worst nightmares.
The morning we left was chilly yet refreshing. Perfect flying weather. Today, we were just going to get as far to California as we could. I tried not to think about what could have happened to Angel in a month and a half, but somehow my thoughts kept jumping there. Just as my crazy morning puking had stopped, that day it came back which did not put me off to a good start. I put my jacket on and spread my wings out through the slits in the back. The wind blew my hair all around my face and I attempted to tie it back. All around me, the flock was grinning in the excitement although we were on an intense mission. It was time to get my Angel back.
My heart soared just as my wings carried me higher and higher into the sky. I looked over to my right and saw Dylan flying gracefully next to me, his dark brown wings almost touching the tips of my hawk-like ones. He smiled at me, his deep turquoise eyes shining with genuine affection. It really didn't bother me that much anymore and I started to love his caring face next to me all the time. He was always there to hold me and listen. I smiled back then sped away a little ahead of the rest of them. After a while of flight, I heard Gazzy speak up from a little below me, "Hey, Max! I'm hungry! When can we stop and get something to eat?"
"Yeah, me too Max!" Iggy piped up, "Where are we anyway?" He asked.
I was curious as well, "I don't know, let's take a look!" I shouted back as I began a dive down and the others followed behind in suit. Swooping through the clouds, I saw a suburban neighborhood below. The rest of the flock flew around me curiously. "Let's keep going and see if there is anywhere to find some food and see what town we're in." I suggested and they nodded in agreement. We eventually found a city with a suitable place to eat. Yep, you bet it folks, Gazzy nearly dive bombed right out of the sky at the sight of those giant yellow arches- the gates of heaven as we like to call them. Complete with a large-shoed red-haired Jesus in a yellow jumpsuit.
"Whoop! Whoop!" He cried as Nudge quickly informed Iggy where we were and a huge grin stretched upon their faces as well.
"Well, it's not exactly a Parisian boulangerie, but I'm starved!" Total agreed as his little black wings carried him down into the back parking lot with the others. I rolled my eyes at their ridiculousness and I heard Dylan chuckle next to me. I had to admit though, I was starved. It has been so long since we took a flight this long.
"Hold up, we're coming too!" Dylan called as we began to zoom towards the ground. As we neared the restaurant, I was hit with the smell of greasy burgers and fries like I had run into a brick wall. For a second there, I had forgotten to flap it was so strong. "Max!" Dylan called; panic filling his voice as he watched me plummet a few feet. I caught myself, though as he swooped down next to me with his powerful brown wings. I was too busy gagging on the overpowering scent to notice.
"What the flying fig newton was that?" I was able to say as I was beginning to be accustomed to the smell. As Dylan landed next to me, he came over with a worried look in his eyes.
"Max." He grabbed my hands in his. At the sudden touch, my heart sped up a million times faster and I could feel heat rising up all over me. What was wrong with me? I couldn't look him in the eye. "Look at me Max. What's wrong? Are you okay? What happened?"
I focused strongly on calming down and looked to see my flock staring at me with confused, and, well scared, faces. "What?" I asked, "Does nobody smell that wretched stench too?"
They just looked at me. "Max, the only thing we can smell is the fries, but it's not that strong or anything…" Dylan explained like I was four. Now I was angry. Angry at myself. Angry at them. Angry at our enemies who were trying to take over the world. Angry at everything.
"I'm fine." I snapped, shoving past them and walking up to the front door. We had come a long way in our lives and instead of hiding out all day and waiting to dumpster dive when it closed, we could just walk right in and buy whatever we wanted. We were being supported by our friend Nino Pierpont. He expected us to go to school and whatever, but we still had control of our own lives and had showed up for about two days before I nixed the idea completely. We had more important things to do and it was during what I refer to as my dark days of depression. It wasn't a proud experience.
I didn't even wait to see if they were following as I was so focused on calming down, regaining my dignity, and not gagging and puking.
After we all ordered about $100 of McDonald's food, we had to go outside because Total, much to his dismay, was not allowed in. Iggy suggested we get him a guide dog vest and he could walk him around with that, but I highly doubted that a little scottie would be leading around a blind teenager. I mean, that's just me.
We eventually found a park by a lake and sat down for our picnic. I really wasn't feeling well, but I knew that I'd need fuel and I was already beginning to tire. We had gotten far, though and I was proud of that. We'd be in California by tomorrow night. I wasn't sure exactly where the school was or how to get there, but luckily for us I knew it was secluded in northern California. I guess I was hoping I'd be able to hear Angel somehow. Just some sign she was alive and near.
Now full, we stretched out and lay down on the grass in front of the glistening lake. I lay on my stomach beside Dylan lazily. Well, not completely because I was in full alert mode 24/7. The others were off goofing around and hanging out. I was lost in thought about Angel when I felt Dylan's hand creep over towards me. I froze as he slowly reached over and touched my hand so gently. I just stared at our hands as I allowed mine to wrap around his. It was so warm and soft and gentle. Something I wasn't used to. He then lifted his head up and our eyes made contact. He gave me a smile and I couldn't help but find myself returning it.
"I love you Max." He said so hopefully my heart tightened.
"Yeah. I know. You were created to love me." I explained back. I really did feel bad for him. He couldn't help himself but to love me. He had to love me. And although I sure didn't feel the same way back, I certainly did feel something. And that thought both excited and frightened me.
I hope you liked the beginning! Next chapter will include Fang's POV! Review your opinions please! :)