I don't own Supernatural or any of the characters. Angsty somewhat smutty songfic to the song Daylight by Ron Pope. Unbeta'd. (Prepare thyselves for many unbeta'd things.) I don't ask for reviews or anything, this is really just me dumping the random ideas in my head somewhere. A writing exercise, if you will. :)

I always picture Cas and Deans first time to be so romantic and painfully sad. I don't know why. And Ron Pope just goes along with sad and romantic.

Tomorrow could always be the end. Hell, in a few minutes, he could die. It was something Dean Winchester learned the hard way. But now faced with the apocalypse, less than a week away? That so many people were going to die-that everyone was going to die-that was on his shoulders. And...that did something to you. Dean poured a little more of the closest alcohol into his glass before taking a long drink.

So yeah, he could die any minute. Whether they won or not, life wouldn't be the same. Dean knew that.

He took advantage of that.

He remembers bits and pieces of that night, three days ago, with the angel Castiel, as he downs the rest of his glass.

I've seen sad, dark times,

and I have waited for the sun to rise

I've seen sad, dark times

and I have waited for rain

And all I know, is whenever I am far from home

there are nights when words seem out of place

He remembers all of the surprisingly soft touches, the kisses ghosting over the pulse in his throat. The delicate, worshipping kisses all down his body, his navel, his hips...his thighs. "You are so beautiful, Dean...so pure." Dean gasped, arching into the angels touch. His angels touch.

I have walked alone and the stars have tried to guide me home

I have walked alone, lost in the fog

all I find are faded pictures from a distant life

and I wish to God I could see your eyes

Everything was slow and loving, filled with a tenderness neither of them knew they possessed. But they liked it. Dean trailed his fingertips down Castiels side, smiling at the way his angel sucked in a breath at the touch. Deans voice had been soft, teasing. A whisper. "You're ticklish?" He nibbled on his angels earlobe before giving a breathy laugh. "Incredible."

I ain't got no magic potion,

All I know is that we're better off together than we ever were alone

so if you let me try,

Just give me time

oh

Woman I will find a way to help you ease your troubled mind

And Castiel got it. Incredible; it summed it up. The touches, the sensations...the tangible sense of belonging and desperation, to just feel something other than the hurt and confusion. The sadness.

If the morning comes I'll be thankful just to see the sun

But the daylight seems so far away

The need for each other.

The intense staring at each other. The laying side by side, Deans arm slung over Castiels waist, holding him close. Castiel had his hand palm open on Deans cheek, lightly rubbing his thumb over his cheekbone. They both looked incredibly spent. The stickiness between the two was proof.

They just didn't want tomorrow to come; to go their separate ways. Not knowing if they'll see each other in the future, after this is all over.

But the lingering touches, the soft kisses...They said it all.

The words were torn from his mouth in a harsh whisper, and it sounded completely foreign coming from him. Because apparently saying it all left too much unsaid with Castiel. Maybe Dean hadn't said it loud enough with his actions. So he said it now, into his empty glass of gin, hoping that somewhere, his angel was listening.

"I love you,"