2:40AM the best fanfic ever written in all of history
L sauntered across the deck of the ship, and curiously poked his head over Jack Sparrow's shoulder. Jack was staring at the clock device in his hand, and it spun around wildly. L poked his head left and right, checking to see if anyone was watching then whispered rather drunkenly in the Captain's ear, "Say, I say it doesn't point north. So where does it point?"
Jack spun around, wondering where the hunched mopped figure came from, realizing it was another random passenger that somehow ended up on the ship. "I say you've had too much of that rum," he winced slightly at the breath that L was emitting from his lungs.
L smiled a bit, "Just tell me, I know it's important, don't worry. It'll be our little secret." He almost collapsed on Jack, who stepped backwards just in time, for L to fall on his face.
"My lad, my good lad, stand up and let me tell you," Jack replied stroking his beard, standing L up, who looked positively dazed. L's mop of black hair fell over his eyes, and Jack inched slightly backwards as he brushed it out of L's eyes. L was completely wasted, but Jack still told him anyways.
"It points to your heart's desire," Jack grinned, as he looked back down at the compass.
"Say, might I hold that for a second?" L asked, his words slightly more slurred than before.
"No listen to-" Jack began, but L had already snatched it out of his hands. With L's foggy vision, he looked up ever so slightly to see where it was pointing. L sloppily ran around the ship, figuring out where the compass was pointing to.
"It's highly unlikely you're going to find your heart's desire right-" but he stopped as L ran into another random passenger. How did all the random passengers get there anyways? Did someone unlock the jail?
The redhead he ran into stared down at L's drunken figure. "Ryuuzaki, you've had too much to drink."
"No I haven't!" L protested almost lazily, tossing the compass back to Jack, who could only stare at their interaction.
"Oh I say I've got some bad news for you mate," Jack whispered under his breath as L pulled the redhead's tie.
"Light I've got something to confess to you," L said loudly, bringing said Light closer to him by tugging gently.
"Yes, Ryuuzaki?" Light asked.
"I'm madly in love with you," L took the back of Light's head and their lips clashed awkwardly. The sloppy kiss lasted only a moment, before L collapsed over Light his head on Light's shoulder. It was only then when L decided to open up his mouth to empty the contents of his stomach.
It was in that instant L realized he was not madly in love with Light. The only reason why the compass pointed at him was because Light was Kira.