Three cheers for Puckleberry drabbles! This one is based off of these quotes from the Puck/Rachel Drabble Meme at LJ:
New girl: "Who are they?"
Kurt: "Puckleberry mckinley's badass couple, A lot of girls try to get with him but really they're just wasting their time even trying"
NG "Why?"
Kurt: "Because he only has eyes for Rachel. Look you could do backflips naked and he'd barely give you a first glance, let alone a second."
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NG: "I see the way he looks at her. it's...like she's his whole world"
Hope you like it!
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There were downsides to being so fabulous.
Kurt had been fabulous his whole life, but he only realized what the negatives were one Monday morning in senior year, when Mr. Shuester had pulled him aside asking if he could help escort the new student around school, help here see where things were, etc. Aparrently he had been asked because "he was a good leader and rolemodel who would help someone feel at home," but Kurt was just certain it was because they were finally realizing that he was probably one of the best things at the school (the other things being Rachel Berry's voice and Noah Puckerman's arms), and they might as well be showing him off. At first he had been disgusted with the thought of having to have the fresh meat trailing behind him all day, but then he got the absurd idea into his mind that maybe it was some gay male supermodel who happened to have a thing for brunettes, and he quickly agreed. After all, what was the harm in trying?
Needless to say, when he arrived at the main office and spotted a blonde standing in the doorway, he was a little bit disappointed. But one glance at her face and he found himself speechless, because hell, she was stunning. Blonde, skinny, tanned, and dressed head to toe in Prada, she introduced herself as Molly from California and he decided that if he wasn't 100% capital-G Gay, he would be jumping her as soon as Mr. Shuester left them alone. Maybe this whole tour thing wouldn't be so bad, because there was no way in hell anyone was going to shlushie someone so stunning, and it would be nice having a slushie-free fabulous friend to have around.
"Kurt Hummel, at your service," he said, making sure to sound extra chipper and sweet, desperate to make the best possible impression on her. "You can close your mouth and leave now, Mr. Shue, I've got this from here." The awe-struck teacher closed his mouth, muttering a few random good-byes as his face turned cherry red before rushing out the door. Kurt couldn't help but laugh at the affect she was already having on the male population of Lima, and on a teacher no less. Emma wouldn't be too happy to hear about that, not after Shue had finally got up the nerve to ask her to marry him last year. For a man so beautiful it had certainly taken him long enough to nail the girl of his dreams.
He turned over to see Molly giggling, a perfectly manicured hand covering her mouth as she laughed. The swell of satisfaction that came when he realized that he had been the inspiration of that laugh was overwhelming, and he was happy he had managed to regain a semi-sane look on his face as she offered out her arm for him to hold.
"Lead the way, Mr. Hummel."
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For the love of all things Gucci, this girl was flawless.
After bringing her into the chemestry and biology labs, he quickly discovered that not only was she stunning and had amazing taste in clothes, but she was also a mad genius. Aparrently her GPA at her last school had been a 3.8, which he was positive not even Rach or Artie could top if they studied for fourteen hours a day. And a quick stroll around the auditorium and a random acapella reprise of the song "Burlesque" had lead him to discover that she had an unbelievable voice, one that was definitely worth a spot in Glee. That was, of course, if Mr. Shue could keep his hands off of her.
Which lead him to her only real flaw, one that wasn't really her fault - boys loved her. Like, loved her. Azimo had ran into a door when he saw her walking down the hallway, and Finn had been so distracted by her chest that he had tripped over Azimo's collapsed body and created a massive traffic jam in the hallways that took at least five minutes to clear up, because everyone was too busy staring at Molly to actually notice. In a day she had become McKinely's newest celebriy, so much so that even Santana hadn't been too awful to her. Of course, there had been some snarky comments about her hair and eyeshadow, but other than that the Latina had been able to find absolutely nothing else to critique her on, causing her to storm off in a huff. It had quite possibly been one of the most legendary things Kurt had ever seen, Santana Lopez struggling to find insults, and he found himself thanking whatever it was that sent her to their humble little school. He knew for a fact that once Satan had gone and rambled on to Rachel about how horrible her life was (yes, Pezberry had become the ruling friendship of the school, as bizarre as it was), she would be back on her A-game, but the fact that the new girl had caused her to be insult-free for even the shortest about of time was clearly a miracle.
So yeah, people loved Molly, and Molly loved people.
Especially male people.
And why wouldn't she? A girl that gorgeous could get any guy she wanted, so it was completely justified that she would tease them as much as she did. Hell, if Kurt could he knew he would. There were the casual flicks of the hair every couple of seconds, the batting of the eyelashes, chewing the lip, and bubbly little giggles that he knew gave boys insta-boners. She liked to flirt, and goodness gracious was she amazing at it. It was almost enough to make Kurt go straight, and he was the gayest person he knew. Not that that was a big accomplishment in small-town Ohio, but still, that was saying something.
"Kurt?" she asked softly, a look of absolute awe and admiration over her face as she stared down the hall, and there was no doubt in his mind what question was going to come next. He was wondering how long it would take for her to notice the pair, and now that she finally had he was prepared to answer any questions she might have. "Who are they?" It really wasn't hard to guess who 'they' was referring to, and he gave he a pitying glance before tugging her hand to guide her down to the cafeteria, smiling at the couple in question as he did. Of course, they were too wrapped up in each other to notice, but he did hear a musical "Hi Kurtie!" a couple of seconds later that let him know he hadn't been completely ignored.
"They are Puckleberry, McKinely's resident badass couple," he began, preparing himself for a long-winded explaination. "Rachel Berry and Noah Puckerman - but for the love of Liza, never let him hear you call him anything other than Puck." The last kid who had done so hand wound up in the nurse's office with a mysterious black eye, and even though Kurt was certain Puck would never hit a girl, there was no way he was taking any chances. "Rach is Glee's head diva and, despite the horrible animal sweaters, my absolute best friend in the world. I know she doesn't look like she'd be a badass, trust me, you'd be surprised." He supposed love had the ability to change people, and although it was probably Puck who had changed the most, it went without saying that Rach had gotten a little more...adventerous too. "Puck, on the other hand, is the self-proclaimed King of all badasses. Lately he's been a bit of a softie, but you better watch your back when Rachel isn't around, because it's then that he allowes himself to revert back to his old ways, so to speak." Finding Jacob Ben Isreal in a dumpster that morning for the fourth day in a row was proof enough of that. "A lot of girls try to get with him, but really, they're just wasting their time trying."
Glancing back at Molly, he saw she was still staring at the couple with a dazed look on her face - or, more specifically, the more masculine part of the couple. "Why?" she asked softly, and he had to supress the urge to laugh. It was strange to see someone as stunningly beautiful as the girl in front of him so awe-struck by something so completely normal to him, but he supposed that was the power of Puckleberry. They were an unstoppable force, really.
"Because, sweetie, he only has eyes for Rachel," placing a hand on her shoulder, he gave her a sympathetic look before dragging her over to an empty table. She was still staring at Puck with a kind of child-like admiration mixed with lust (he didn't even know that was possible), so he decided there was only one way to put things into perspective for her. "Molly," Kurt said flatly, making sure he had her attention before continuing. "You could do backflips naked in front of him and he still wouldn't give you a first glance, let alone a second." It was harsh, but it was the honest truth, and it had to be said. For a moment, Molly looked completely and totally lost, but she gave him a bright smile before shaking her head.
"By the end of the day, I'll make him notice me. Guarantee."
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It was the end of the day, and Kurt was still completely positive that Puck didn't have the slightest clue that Molly even existed.
He had to admit, it was sad watching someone who looked like the girl try and fight for a boy's attention. It wasn't like she would have ever actually had to try and work for a boy before - he was sure that usually all she would have to do was bat her eyelashes and it would be a done deal. So when she tried that on Puck and all he had done was give her a strange look before continuing on her way, Kurt was sure that she was going to have some kind of meltdown.
But, bless her soul, she just kept on throwing out one pathetic attempt after another, each one with the same result. When she bent down in front of him to "pick up a pencil she dropped"...nothing. When she basically deep-throated a lollipop in their math class (which Rachel had forced her boyfriend to start attending)...nothing. She honestly might as well have not even been there at all, the way he was ignoring her, and Kurt would have laughed if it hadn't been just so damn sad. When it was the end of the school day and there still hadn't been any result, he was almost betting on the fact that she was going to break down into overly-dramatic tears in his arms, and he was going to have some heavy duty gay-friend-comforting to do. He had had enough of that when Sam had broken up with Satan for a whole four hours, and it was definitely not as fun as he thought it was going to be.
So, he had to admit he was more than a little shocked when he came out of the boy's washroom to see Rachel and Molly chatting like old friends, the brunette resting her head on her boyfriend's arm while the blonde talked animatedly, hands waving in the air.
"Since when have you three known each other?" he asked as he approached the group, subtly raising an eyebrow at the new girl as he did so. She smiled sheepishly, chewing her lip as he did so. "I was actually planning on introducing you myself, but it appears now we're all besties." Rachel laughed, and Kurt couldn't help but notice the way Puck looked at her when she did, so full of love and devotion, and if the fleeting smile on his new friend's lips meant anything, it was that she had noticed it too.
The group continued to talk happily, making plans to meet up at Breadstix that night, and it was a full five minutes later that he finally managed to break away from the group and drag Molly over to his locker.
"So, seems like you've given up on 'Operation: Puckerman'," he teased, smirking at her as he pulled open his lock and shoved his books inside. "Or is this just a new phase in your plan? Get inside, break them apart, and walk away with all the delicious spoils? Because it's not going to work." Wagging a warning finger in her face, he tapped her lightly on the nose before slamming the door shut and following her down to the opposite end of the hallway, where she had recieved the worst locker in the entire school. That was what you got for being a transfer, he supposed.
It felt like hours before she spoke next, but her words certainly surprised him. "I know," she shrugged, dropping her bag to the ground with a loud thud. "It's not part of my plan, Rachel's actually really sweet. She's a little strange, yeah, but she means well and she didn't treat me like a Barbie doll. She actually pointed out that I have really bad posture, something which no one's ever had the guts to do before. I actually appreciated it." Stacking the books up in her locker, she closed the door and leaned back against the metal, giving him a sideways glance. "I see the way he looks at her. It's...well, it's like she's his whole world. I wish someone would look at me like that." Her voice was so filled with longing that it made Kurt's heart give a soft pang, and he rested his head against his shoulder. Because really, if there was one person who would completely understood how she felt, it was him.
"But his friend, Finn Hudson? Now there's a cutie..."