My Medea
A/N: How crazy is this? Two updates from me in 1 month. Quick check to make sure the world hasn't ended! Anyway,I found this one buried in my archives of stories and after dusting it off and doing a bit of editing (and getting some encoruragement) I decided to post this one too.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The title of this piece is taken from Vienna Teng's song of the same name. For those who want to know more about Medea, go and wiki her.
The worst part of breaking the rules was the knowledge that it was never simple. Someone was bound to get caught in the crossfire, bound to get knocked down and out. The knowledge that your actions, whether they be the reckless and unplanned kind, or the ones that took plots and precision, could hurt another person, could change someone's life and not always for the better.
Raven knew that what they had done was wrong.
It had truly been an accident. She hadn't planned for her visit to play out the way it did. Hell, if the truth be told she hadn't even planned to visit him. She had come to the decision that she was going to leave him be, let him live his life and be happy. It had taken several days of urging from Jinx and Kori to get her to even consider this. They told her he deserved to know the truth and that keeping her feelings and the truth inside and locked away wasn't good for either of them. So she gave in. She agreed to speak to him, even though the thought of seeing him after all these years had her shaking inside. She planned and plotted out all the whole visit, in a futile attempt to ease her nerves. It was supposed to be a quick confession and then she was supposed to go. No fuss, no muss.
All she had wanted was to finally free herself of the truth, and finally be rid of the horrible ache that lay in her heart. All she wanted, no needed to do was tell him that she had been lying all those years ago, when she said she couldn't love him, when she told him that love wasn't enough.
Like all the best laid plans of mice and men this too was doomed to fail. She'd expected him to just let her talk. She'd hoped that her sudden reappearance into his life, especially so soon after his wedding, would be enough to forestall any questions and any conversation. She'd been hoping on him being so caught up in his new life, in his new world that maybe he would turn her away, that maybe he wouldn't even care about what she had come to say.
But Fate had never been her friend and Luck was rarely on her side. He had been home alone and he had answered the door. And from there everything snowballed down hill. She hadn't counted on him slamming her with questions the moment the door opened and he recognized her on his doorstep. Hadn't counted on all his anger and pain to be splashed across his face, buzzing in his voice and sinking into her skin like an angry tattoo. It threw her off balance,made it hard for her to keep focus and harder still to keep control of her already frayed emotions.
She managed to tell him though. Managed to corral her emotions long enough to explain to him what exactly she was doing at his home, and what exactly she had come to say. She apologized for lying, to herself and him. And she let him know that yes she had loved him. And yes she had wanted him forever and that he was right, she had been scared and he had been right all those years ago, she had been running away from what they had because she had been so unsure that it was real and that it would last. And that she finally understood now, what they'd had was beautiful, it was rare and that she had been a fool to let him walk away and let him go.
He let her speak. Whether he was stymied by her words or by the tears she was struggling to hold back, he just watched and listened silently as she spilled her soul and poured out her heart. As she set free the secrets she'd been guarding for so ling. If it hadn't been for his hand reaching out and grasping her wrist as she turned to leave, shaking and spent from her confession, she would've believed he hadn't even been listening to her.
But that hand stopped her. Tethered her to the floor, kept her from fleeing, even as she tried half-heartedly to get away. His arms found their way around her, held her captive. His mouth found hers and pulled her back, refused to let her go again. She knew then that her plan had gone to hell. One kiss and she knew she wouldn't be able to walk back out that door. She was straying into uncharted territory, swimming in dangerously murky waters and she knew she didn't want to stop herself. She wanted to lose herself, wanted to sink down with him and drown in this one moment.
It was like the past few years had never happened when he held her. They were still young, and still in love. When he kissed her she was eighteen again and just discovering how sweet and beautiful love could be. As they stumbled and banged their way up the stairs she was reminded of those halcyon days they shared, reminded of the times when they were still discovering one another. Every gentle kiss and every soft touch took her back, brought to mind the days before broken hearts, before lonely days, before dark nights. Each whisper and whimper pulled her closer to the joy, to the light that was their love.
It wasn't until after the clothes had been discarded and scattered across the floor, until she's lying pillowed against him as he softly slumbers, in a haze of contentment, that she realizes what she's done. What they've done. Isn't until she sees the photos of him and his wife scattered across the dresser that it hits her. She's a nice girl, his wife. She's all large, brown doe-eyes and gentle, understanding smiles. She adores her husband and Raven can tell from the photos that Garfield adores her as well. The smiles in the photos are genuine and full of trust. Trust that Raven has shattered irrevocably in barely a few hours.
In one moment she realized that this can never happen again. As beautiful and sweet as this moment was it had to end. This is not her life and he is no longer hers. She wished things were different, wished that she had been honest all those years ago, when they still had a chance to be something more than a pair of clandestine lovers who couldn't let go of their past, and who had just crossed a dangerous line. But their time had come and gone. He had moved on. He had found happiness and she'd be damned worse than ever before if she dared to try and continue what they've started.
Her choice isn't hard to make. Stay and destroy both their lives. Or go, walk away and start anew away from him, away from the memories.
She could feel her heart breaking as she re-dressed. Feel her world falling to pieces as she removed the memory of this day from him, made it nothing more than a dream created by his tired mind. Feel her soul crying as she quietly walked out the front door and out of his life. Feel it all fall apart as she said goodbye.
The problem with breaking the rules is that there's always the chance someone will be hurt.
A/N: Yeah so I'm not sure about this ending. I may add more but right now it is what it is. And I would just like to point out that this wouldn't have even been posted if it weren't for CalliopeMused telling me to do so.