Retirement Party

Naruto created by Masashi Kishimoto and distributed in the United States by Viz. Buy their stuff, if you're a fan; the uncut boxes are pretty good, especially when it gets into the chuunin exam.

***

"Son, I was wondering. You want to go out drinking with me tonight?"

Shikamaru stopped. He'd been mildly surprised when his father had shown up at the door – he had expected a nice, relatively quiet evening with Temari – but the request was expected at some point. "How troublesome... Are you sure? I'm not as much fun as Inoichi or Chouza..."

Shikaku's reaction – or lack thereof – told Shikamaru all he needed to know. "I'm sure. Come on; I'll pay."

Shikamaru shrugged. "Why not?" He reached out for his vest, and turned back to Temari. "I'll be late tonight." He glanced at his father for a moment. "In fact, I probably won't be in at all. See you tomorrow, okay?"

He watched Temari's eyes widen. "Um... okay. I may see what your mom is doing, then."

Shikamaru nodded and smiled at her. She understood. "Thanks, love. I'm sure she'll appreciate that." He walked over and kissed her on the cheek. "I love you."

She smiled, appreciating the message sent. "I love you too, dear. Just... don't make a tradition of this, okay? I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay," he nodded in reply, and headed out the door.

Shikamaru looked around him as they made their way through Konoha. His years of being a ninja had shown him much of the ninjitsu world; what amazed him was the unique character of each city. The city of Suna lived by the night; in the desert heat, night was the best time to work. By comparison, Oto had died by night, as no one felt safe; small wonder considering what Orochimaru had done there. Konoha was a nice blend; it didn't shut down at sundown, but it didn't have the buzz in the air that Suna did.

"Ah... such a peaceful night," Shikaku mused. "No clouds in the sky, a gentle breeze... Absolutely perfect."

"If you say so," Shikamaru replied. For once, he almost preferred Suna's nightlife; at that moment he wanted distraction.

His father stared up at the sky. "One of the things I miss of being out in the field is the stars. I know how much of a pain your colleagues can be; mine were the same way. At the end of the day, once I was done putting up the nightly traps, I'd stay up for awhile and look up at the stars... and forget about the day."

Shikamaru sighed. "Yeah, well, if you like it so much, you can keep it. Two days of using maple leafs for toilet paper, and I'm ready to go home." A stray thought crossed his mind, and his eyes twinkled. "Of course, there was the time Chouji used poison ivy... he couldn't walk straight for a week!"

"Hah!" Shikaku barked. "Was Inoichi who made that mistake in our party. Pretty boy looked like hell for awhile after that!" He smiled wistfully, and stroked his graying beard. "I'll give Ino this: she's at least smarter than her old man was..."

"Oh, don't get me started," Shikamaru replied. "Imagine taking that pretty boy... and substituting his daughter. Honestly, you don't even want to know what she goes through when she wants to look good. I learned to get her up several hours early if we needed to present ourselves; it was the only way to be on time."

"I could've told you that was coming," Shikaku started. "In fact, I did tell you that was coming." Words on his lips died; his smile soon followed. "I told them all what was coming." In an instant, the smile was back on his face; he reached out and grabbed Shikamaru's hand. "Come on. The night is young."

Fortunately, the bar wasn't too far away. Ino-Shika-Cho had chosen its favorite watering hole well, someplace close enough that they could stagger back to any of their homes if need be. Shikamaru moved the curtains and walked into the bar, and frowned.

A ninja didn't make it to jounin rank without sensing a setup. The seating arrangements weren't natural; considering the number of people at the bar, four empty seats in a row should not have happened. Yet there it was, four seats, one right next to the other - three seats that the original Ino-Shika-Cho tended to inhabit, plus one more for himself. Shikamaru walked over to his designated seat next to his father, and sighed.

The bartender looked at the pair. "Shikaku. Shikamaru. It's been awhile."

"Hattori," Shikaku replied. "How are things?"

"Good," the bartender replied. "Ayane came by this morning with the kids, so I had fun spoiling them. That's the beauty of being a grandfather: you get to spoil them, and create as much havoc for your kids as you can." He reached down and pulled out a bottle and glass. "Iwa stone-fired whiskey, aged forty years, as requested." Hattori looked over at Shikamaru. "Is there anything you want?"

Shikamaru frowned. "Some warm sake would be good, thanks."

Shikamaru looked over at his father. Shikaku poured himself a drink, then fished a pill out of his pocket. In an instant, Shikaku popped the pill, then washed it down with the whiskey.

Shikamaru frowned. "A soldier pill?"

Shikaku nodded, then picked up the bottle. "Hattori held this bottle for us for years, since before you were born. One of our first missions was to Iwa to gather some intel. Well, things went wrong, and we ended up fighting our way out of this one village. Of course, we couldn't leave without some form of souvenir, so Inoichi picked up this bottle from the bar. He said it was the best booze he could find there, and we were just glad to make it out, so we all decided that, when it came time to retire, that we'd all get together and open this bottle." He grimaced, poured himself another glass, and quickly downed it. "So much for that."

A small clay bottle and dish appeared in front of Shikamaru; he sighed, and poured himself a drink. "You ever wonder just how insane we have to be to do what we do?" He took a sip of the sake. Hattori hadn't skimped; this was good stuff, maybe even Oto from before the fall. "We go into places nobody else would even think of, put ourselves into a position where we could all be killed, and yet, if you asked any of our ninja if they expect to live to an old age, they'd be almost certain of it."

"Nah," Shikaku replied. "That's not the danger. You should know that. You seduced the only ninja good enough to beat you. Much how I met your mother, to be honest." He smiled wistfully. "Nah, the only thing to fear isn't the ninja attacking you, or the ninja beside you. If you believe in your teammates you're going to get through it, no matter what; it's insanity, but it's the right kind of insanity." He poured himself another drink. "It's the ninja behind you, the ones sending you out, that are the real danger. We're taught - ordered - to trust them with our lives. Some have been good; you could trust Minato with your life, and you could usually trust Tsunade to be straight with you. But Sarutobi..." He tossed the drink in one gulp. "That bastard killed us. Not with kunai, not with senbon, but with the worst form of poison. The lies."

Shikamaru smiled. This was one of the things he loved about his father - they could truly talk about any subject they could think of. "So a Hokage should always tell the truth?"

Shikaku snorted. "Always? We're ninja. Worse, a Hokage's a politician as well as a ninja. Only an idiot would tell the truth all the time." He shook his head. "But there are some things no human being should lie about. You don't betray family; you don't lie to others so they betray family. Sarutobi did that - and when he did, he condemned my friends to death." He poured himself another drink; his lips twisted into a disgusted scowl. "To be honest, I feel sorry for Tsunade. It seems like most of her work has been to fix the messes Sarutobi made. If he'd just killed that bastard student of his and treated Minato's kid right, none of this - NONE OF IT - would have happened."

"At least she's done her best to fix them," Shikamaru replied. "Before he left, Naruto told me some of what happened when Jiraiya offered Tsunade the job. She didn't have to come back - and, considering how troublesome the whole thing was, I wouldn't have blamed her. But she did, and gave up a lot to do so."

Shikaku nodded slowly. "I guessed as much. To be honest, Tsunade coming back was one of the few times I was genuinely wrong about something. I thought... I guessed that there was nothing that would bring her back." He hung his head. "That's why I knew. Why I knew what would happen when Naruto's execution was ordered. He had some of his dad in him, I could see that in the way you guys looked and acted toward him. The kid was a natural leader - because he was the sort to stand at the wall when things turned sour. We were betraying all of you with that. It was only a matter of time before some of you would return the favor."

"But you didn't vote for it," Shikamaru countered. "In fact, you did what you could to stop it."

Shikaku poured himself another drink. "That vote was the only time the three of us disagreed. Inoichi wanted to avenge his cousin's death, not realizing he was condemning family. Chouza supported Inoichi's crusade, and wasn't thinking about the consequences. I told them; I told them what would happen. Even told them how they would die." He stared at the glass for a long moment. "Inoichi wouldn't listen. Chouza couldn't believe it. After all, we all had good relationships with our children; we loved them, nurtured them, and taught them everything we could. How could they possibly turn on us?" He downed the glass and slammed it down. "Troublesome."

"Most troublesome," Shikamaru agreed. "I was surprised Tsunade didn't walk away right then and there." A wry grin crossed his features. "Of course, we now know why, but all of us were ready to strangle you guys back then - even before we found out Naruto's parentage."

"Which made it even worse," Shikaku grimaced. "We drank pretty heavily the night that little tidbit became public; they were drinking to forget what they'd done, but I was drinking to forget what was about to happen." He put his head down on the bar. "I knew Inoichi was going to die once he got home. The alcohol would make it even easier; he wouldn't be able to withstand Ino's assault." His eyes screwed shut, seeing memories he didn't want. "At least Chouza had a few more years to prepare. He knew he was walking into his death - and died the way he wanted to."

Shikamaru looked over at his father, for once unsure of what to say. This man made him the person he was today. Here was the man who had held him as a child, taught him to throw a kunai and to twist his shadow, taught him through life how to examine a situation and use it to his advantage. He wasn't the only one to admire the man; in Shikaku's time, the name of Nara had become synonymous with thoughtful and effective leadership. Whenever a Council problem seemed particularly vexing, the Nara name was called, the Nara voice asked for.

And this man, the Nara patriarch, had been completely destroyed by the very place he served.

Shikamaru gulped. There was one question he didn't know the answer to yet.

"Why, Dad?"

Shikaku raised his head, and blinked. "Why what?"

"Why did you do it? Why were you a Konoha ninja for so long?"

Shikaku sighed, and picked up the bottle. "Would it help if I told you it was too troublesome to do anything else?"

Shikamaru chuckled. "It'd explain some of it... but it doesn't explain all of it."

Shikaku smiled. "Okay. Why do you do it?"

Shikamaru frowned at that question. "Being a ninja... I don't think I could do anything else. Life would be boring otherwise."

"That's it... but that's only part of it." Shikaku's tilted his head to the side. "How often have you been in over your head?"

Shikamaru shrank a bit into his vest. "More often than I like."

"And who pulled you out of the fire, when things went bad?" Shikaku's face twisted. "Say what you will about how 'troublesome' they may be, but just imagine life without Ino and Chouji. You've fought together since you were kids. Temari may have your love, but at the end of the day, it's Ino and Chouji you fight for - and die for." He poured himself a drink, and quickly downed it. "Inoichi and Chouza were the same for me. We were together for so long that I can't imagine life without them."

Shikamaru smiled. "Honestly? You're almost right."

"Almost?" Shikaku poured another drink, then sloshed the bottle. There was maybe a third of the bottle left.

Shikamaru smiled, and took a sip of his sake. "Your answer does explain some things. Namely, why Inoichi wasn't expecting what happened. We - and by we, I mean our group, Lee's group, Hinata's, even Team Seven back when it existed - were thrown into the fire during the chuunin exam. Our jounins told us to watch out for each other to make sure we didn't die. So... we did." He shrugged. "We just didn't stop looking out for each other."

"Strength in numbers," Shikaku smiled lazily. "Makes sense." He shook his head. "Damn, the alcohol's really starting to kick in." He looked at the bottle, then gave a mischievous grin. "Time to finish this job. To life." He put the bottle to his lips and started drinking.

Shikamaru took a look at the bottle his father was drinking, then at his own, much smaller, bottle of sake. He poured more into his dish, then took a sip. "To life."

***

"Shikamaru! Wake up!"

Shikamaru wearily looked up from the bar. He blinked a few times, then winced. "Hattori. Is it done?"

Hattori blinked. "You knew?"

Shikamaru eased himself up carefully from his position on the bar, and looked over at his father. Shikaku lay still on several tables pushed togehter, his hands crossed in front of his chest. His father's skin was unnaturally pale, his lips even a slight shade of blue. It really was done. To his surprise, he found tears welling in his eyes. "I... I am my father's son. He needed his friends, Inoichi and Chouza. It had been hard for him after Inoichi's death, and twice as hard after Chouza's. I knew he... he couldn't kill himself the usual way. This was the best way for him to go - remembering better times, with the one person who maybe could understand him."

Hattori frowned. "Could you understand him?"

Shikamaru walked over to his father's body, and took his hand. Clearly, he hadn't been dead more than an hour; the hand had started to cool, but still had some warmth to it. "Yeah. I got some answers tonight." He looked back at Hattori. "Thank you, Hattori. I know this wasn't easy."

Hattori swallowed. "Sorry, lad. He told me what he had planned. I didn't want to, but... it was easier than watching him waste away."

Shikamaru took a deep breath. "I... I know." He looked over at Hattori. "I guess we need to get ANBU to come by."

Hattori moved to the door of the bar. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Until then... spend what time you can with him."

"Thanks." Shikamaru tried to force the alcohol out of his system, and sat down next to his father. There wasn't much else to say... but there was still a little time left to spend.

***

Author's notes: This was based primarily on MageOhki's "Deceptions" story idea, based on answers to his "Five questions" challenge, with his blessing. In other words, this is a little more than "inspiration", but is done with permission. I designed it to possibly stand alone in a generic non-PTS universe, but the idea came from the challenge.

I released the story to The Fanfiction Forum last year. I didn't update my old web page, as it was too troublesome. :)

Initial release to The Fanfiction Forum: February 1, 2008

Release to Fanfiction dot net: February 14, 2009