Candy Hearts and Lack of Discretion
Disclaimer: This is a purely fan-made piece that is using the world and characters from Kazuya Minekura's Saiyuki and is made entirely for enjoyment. No financial gain has been made in the making of this piece
Summary: Sanzo is cranky and Goku wants to let him know something
Author's Note: Written for SilverMyst. Possible out-of characterness
Constructive Criticism is always welcomed
Published: 14 February 2009
Rating: K+
They weren't even bothering to be discreet any more. Before, they had at least pretended for the sake of decorum and he could act as if there was nothing happening. He liked telling himself that he didn't know what those two bastards were doing or why the rooming arrangements had been the same for the last seven hotels.
But now...things were getting out of hand. It was like they didn't care anymore and that they could do whatever they pleased, wherever and whenever they pleased.
It was getting so bad that the damn monkey was noticing.
Worse, he had started to ask questions. Questions like 'what's he mean by that' and 'why can't we have that empty room on the other side of the hotel' and 'whadda mean, could I please aim one of my kicks higher so they'll knock it off'.
Goddamn, it was moments like this that made him think that he had some serious karmic debt that the universe was forcing him to pay off.
It was getting to the point that he thought that if he quitted smoking and vowed to live a more priestly life, maybe it would end.
Of course, he could always put a bullet in that damn water sprite's head. That'd put an end to things and he won't have to give up his cigarettes.
There was also the plus if he got rid of Goyjo, he'd probably be rewarded karmically because the redhead often felt like a blight upon the earth.
Hakkai might not speak to him for a long time and he'd miss having conversations with the one person capable of intelligent thought, but the long drives would be much nicer because the monkey wouldn't have anybody to argue with.
"Hey, hey, hey, Sanzo!"
Maybe if he ignored the loud brat, he'd go harass someone else.
"They have meat buns! Meat buns! And mango ice cream! Hey, hey, Sanzo! Can we get some? Huh? Can we?"
When Goku actually started yanking on his robe, Sanzo smacked him with his fan, never breaking stride. He had more important things to worry about than whether the stupid monkey had eaten in the last fifteen seconds or not. Maybe if he put a few cow hearts in Gojyo's bed, the two might take the hint.
Or he could paint some of those sickening little phrase candy hearts with laxatives or something equally nasty...
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Sanzoooooo, why'd you do that?!"
"Shut up, you damn stupid monkey."
"Why did you have to hit me? All I wanted to know was if I could have a meat bun and some mango ice cream and some bean paste and rice balls—"
"You're starting to annoy me again."
"But I'm hungry! Starving!"
"Eat your tongue, then."
"Ew! I can't do that! That's gross! Plus, that'd make me a cannibal or somethin'."
"Go bother Gojyo."
"But he never has anything good to eat! Plus, he's been all weird lately! And," Goku added, "he's off bangin' boots with Hakkai again!"
Sanzo stopped cold. "What did you just say?"
"You know that's what they're doing!"
Sanzo smacked Goku with his fan hard enough that he broke it. "Do not," he hissed, "say that sort of thing to me again! I do not want to hear anything like that out of your mouth ever again!"
"Ow!" Goku rubbed his head. "That hurt!"
"Maybe it will knock some sense into that empty head of yours."
"My head isn't empty! And I'm still hungry! Sanzoooooo!"
Sanzo gritted his teeth and went to find a new fan.
xXxXxXxXxXx
Goku was sitting like an obedient dog on the foot of his bed when he exited the washroom, sending off warning bells in Sanzo's head. He was playing with those stupid little candy hearts as he waited.
Sanzo glared. "What?"
Big golden eyes peered up at him. "Are you angry at Gojyo and Hakkai because they're having sex or 'cuz they're two guys?"
"What the fuck does it matter if the morons are guys? I don't want to know about it."
"So you're angry about the sex bit?"
"What the hell are you trying to get at, you stupid monkey?"
"I...you...you never hit me that hard before. I jus' wanted to know. An'...well, you always get mad when Gojyo's screwin' around, but never this mad an'...I jus' didn't want to make you mad like that again."
"I don't give a flying fuck who Gojyo or Hakkai bangs, so long as it's discreet and I don't know anything about it." Sanzo lit up and felt the sweet smoke of nicotine fill his lungs.
Goku watched him for a moment. "An' you're pissed 'cuz they're bein' loud about it." This observation seemed to please the boy and he settled back on the bed, munching loudly on the hearts. He paused and held one out, shyly. "Want one?"
"Get the fuck off of my bed."
He slowly slid off and padded over to his own bed. He then proceeded to watch Sanzo closely, making the priest all the more irritable.
The monk nearly snapped at Goku for being a moron, but then he noticed the small little heart left on his pillow. The little red letters proclaimed 'Luv U'.
Sanzo threw it at Goku's face and ignored the look that crossed the shorter boy's face. "If you're going to leave stupid messages on my bed, at least have the brains to leave one that knows how to spell."
Goku blinked, and then smiled a big, brilliant smile. "Okay!" He attacked the little box furiously, flipping through the little candies.
Twenty minutes later, he was standing by Sanzo's bed. "Sanzo! I hafta get more! They don't have the one I need!"
Glaring, Sanzo rubbed out a spot on his gun. "Tough."
"But Sanzo—!"
"Damn it, monkey, I'm not letting you waste our money on such crap! Besides," he carefully polished the barrel, "I got the fuckin' point from the first damn heart."
"...oh. Um...well, um, Sanzo?"
"What the fuck do you want now?"
"Can I...can I kiss you?"
He actually stopped his cleaning. "What?"
"Can I kiss you?"
Sanzo scowled hard at his ward. "Don't be so stupid and ask such dumb questions."
Goku seemed to shrink a little. "...Okay," he said miserably.
The monk rolled his eyes. He reached out, fisted Goku's undershirt, and pulsed.
The kiss could barely be called one, being heavy, fast, and too sloppy. Goku jerked a little and stared.
Sanzo ignored him and went back to cleaning his gun. "Now leave me alone. I'm busy."
Goku blinked a few times, and then he lunged forwards, giving Sanzo a huge hug. "Love you!" He yelped before racing into the safety the bathroom provided him.
Stupid monkey. He was damn lucky that Sanzo didn't have his gun assembled right then. And while the recent turn of events was not entirely unwelcomed, he still had to figure out what to do with Gojyo and Hakkai.
Maybe it was time to give them a taste of their own medicine. See how they liked it when people weren't discreet.
x Fin x