A/N: First, you need to watch www,youtube,com/watch?v=klOFz_VGpUg or www,youtube,com/watch?v=YTihsJQHt48so that you don't say how mean I am to ruin such an awesome character. Remember to change the ',' to '.' in the URL.

Second, this is the first of only two chapters.

Lastly, did you know that Kung Fu Panda was almost not released due to a tiny little incident. This scene was released to the public by Dreamworks for insurance purposes just incase the movie was not going to be released.

* The author of this fanfic is in no way related to Dreamworks.

Act 1: Shifu Flips Out

Shifu was playing his bamboo flute in the palace garden. A normal day, he tries to calm his spirit with gentle presses to the holes to which the instrument releases a fine sound. It was peaceful and quiet… too quiet. Something did not feel write. He was proven right. Out of nowhere, Tigress sprung of her hiding spot and soon, the rest of the furious five followed. From stillness, Shifu sprung to life jumping sky high and evading every attack his students had to offer him. Small as he was, he was quick to his feet using whatever he can, including his bamboo flute, to evade every blow. Despite this, his students' determination never faltered. With each failed attempt, they made ways to find new ones… with little success. Finally, the battle was over. Shifu was in a ready stance as well as his students.

"Well, done students." He said to which the furious five bow to their master. "If you were trying to disappoint me. Tigress, more ferocity. Crane, grace. Viper, more subtlety... wait wait what are you doing there?!"

It turns out that Po was watching in the background. "Uh… hi."

"It's not even your seen yet! How long have you been standing there!"

"I was… since the beginning." Po said shyly.

"I'd kick your fucking ass! I want you off the set you prick!"

Po was telling Shifu how sorry he was to calm him down. "No, don't just be sorry. THINK for one fucking second. What the FUCK are you doing?! Are you professional or not?!"

Po just gulped his words, fearing that anything he would say might aggravate the situation.

"Do I fucking walk around and rip... no, shut the fuck up." He said to his students who were only trying to calm him down. "Do I… No! No! Don't shut me up. Do I walk around when you're doing your scenes? In the middle of your scene?"

Po just shook his head.

"Then why the FUCK are you walking right through?! A-yada-yada like this in the background, what the fuck is with you?! WHAT DON'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?! You got any fucking idea about hey! It took us a lot of intense work just to do that scene right and you just happen to be on the fucking scene. Gimme a fucking answer!"

But Po was silent.

"What don't you get about it?... fuck sake man you're amateur." Shifu then looked to his students. "You've got something to say to this prick?"

"But master, we didn't see him coming." Tigress just said a bit worried to his master.

"Well someone should be watching and keeping an eye on him. It's the second time that he doesn't give a FUCK about what is going on." He then tried to calm himself down, but given that he is Shifu, he just couldn't. "Alright, We're trying to fucking do a scene here and I'm going why the fuck is Po in the middle of the scene? What is he doing there? Do you understand? All that work for nothing."

"I'm really sorry. It's just that I'm such a big fan…" Po said trying to explain

"Stay off the fucking background, for fuck's sake." He sighed. "Right let's go again."

"Master, maybe we should take a minute." Viper suggested.

"Let's not take a fucking minute, let's go again! And let's not have Po fucking walking in!" He sighed. "You're unbelievable, you're fucking unbelievable. The number of times you stroll in the fucking background. I've never worked with anyone that behaved like this… and you don't fucking understand what it's like working with actors because that's what that is. I'm telling you." Shifu was still pissed for all the preparations to do that scene. "I'm gonna fucking kick your ass if you do that again, alright?"

Po just stood silent and gulped his mouth.

"I'm gonna go unless you do this again and trash my scene. You do it one more time and I ain't walking back if you're still here…. Seriously, you and me, were fucking done professionally…"

Shifu then left the scene trying to calm himself down after that. He went to the sacred peach tree to do some meditation. "Fucking ass." He inhaled deeply. "Inner peace. Inner peace."

Shifu's profanity score

25 fucks, 2 pricks, 3 asses