Authors Note: Cried a little bit writing this, not gonna lie. I had the inspiration for this fic while listening to Say Something by A Great Big World. Listening to the song before or during the time that you read this will enhance the feels, I think. Enjoy~ T.T
(And do leave comments, I love to see what people are thinking.)
"Shit! Erwin!" Levi cries, swinging around the Titan to his left. He pulls the trigger to retract his cables and aims straight for that Titan's weak spot. The metal grappling hook on the end slams into the flesh on the back of the Titan's neck with a disgusting sound that Levi has grown used to. As he furiously spins down toward it, blades twirling to kill, he barely catches a glimpse of Erwin's blood shiny and red smeared on the bastard's teeth. "Die, you son of a bitch," he growls, and his blades strike straighter than ever.
A second later he's on the ground, his feet touching down only a few yards away from where Erwin lays, his one remaining arm crumpled underneath him. Before the wires have even retracted into their canisters fully, Levi is already on the ground rolling his commander over.
"Erwin!"
The sounds of Titan's falling heavily to the ground all around them, of men wailing in death, the sound of his own ragged breathing…those are the only things that Levi hears. No response from Erwin.
"Erwin," he says harshly. "Come on, dammit!"
The commander's body seems to creak when he breathes—like he's been running for days and he can't keep the phlegm from choking him anymore. There's a crimson puddle forming but try as he might, Levi cannot tell where it's coming from other than the arm.
And just that—just an arm—can't be enough to kill Commander Erwin Smith. Surely not, he thinks. Hell no. God no.
A Titan falls not far from them and it makes the earth shiver. Levi grabs Erwin's good arm as if to steady him, although he's already sprawled out, prostrate in the grass. Someone flying above yells, "Heichou!"
"Erwin…"
Say something, I'm giving up on you
"Come on, Erwin! Fucking answer me. Look at me!" Levi says, resolving to shake the arm until his commander will open an eye. He wants to see those blue orbs, he needs to. He needs to know how bad it is, and no look at Erwin's body will tell him that. Only his eyes.
"Goddammit, Erwin…" he's growling now, his perpetually steady hands shaking, choking out words he never says. "Please!"
And they open, as if propelled by the strange word coming off of Levi's stingy lips. Big, blue, and beautiful, infinitely sad. And Levi knows at once that it's bad. Erwin croaks out through the bloody pulp that holds his chest hostage, "Come here, Levi."
For once in his life there is no hesitation, Levi leans down until it seems satisfactory, and even then he lets Erwin pull him even closer.
I'll be the one, if you want me to
"Where?" Levi asks, flicking his eyes away from Erwin's eyes—although he doesn't want to—to scan his body once more. He has to find where else the blood is coming from.
"It got me," Erwin says, though it's so garbled that Levi can barely understand him. The beautiful sadness in Erwin's eyes is mirrored in the way he tries to make his tone of voice—soft and wry, like a frustrated caress, mussing Levi's hair like a child—the same feeling.
"No, you're fine." Levi is ripping his cloak, tying it around the stump of Erwin's arm as tightly as possible, running hands over his torso desperately, searching for something that isn't there.
If he could move, Erwin would have winced at his touch. "Inside, Levi. Nothing you can do."
There is a scream like in death and at first Levi is scared that it came from his own mouth—unconsciously somehow. But no, it was one of their men behind Erwin and above. Levi glances up just in time to see him swallowed. There is a flash of green flying through the orange sky, yelling, "Levi Heichou!"
The Titan falls a moment later and the earth hiccups underneath them. "Too late…" Erwin wheezes. "Go…help."
Levi feels his throat constrict, shoving down a dry sob.
Anywhere I would've followed you
"Shut up, old man," he says, purposefully furrowing his brows back into a grouchy countenance familiar enough to both of them. "You can't die. You're the commander of the entire fucking Survey Corp."
Erwin tries to lift up his one hand to wave Levi's words away, but he doesn't have enough strength left to finish the movement, and Levi sees him try not to let the disappointment show in his handsome face. "Tell me how to help you," Levi insists, staring into the blue eyes, getting desperate. But Erwin only blinks.
Someone is screaming his name again from above and Levi's heart won't stop pounding faster and faster. The screams, the deep noises of bodies raining down, the high pitched whizz of 3DMG overhead—they all try to pull his eyes away from Erwin's face. That face he watched every single day for years…
It was like two magnets trying to pull him in different directions—the whole world and all of his soldiers on one side, and his commander on the other, his Erwin—and Erwin was stronger.
And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
"Tell me what to do," he practically begs now, grasping Erwin's hand tightly. "Please, I can help." He can kill a hundred Titan's by himself. He was king of the underworld. He was hand-picked by this man. He must be able to help.
He tries not to notice that Erwin's hand barely holds his back.
Say something, I'm giving up on you
He can see the struggle in Erwin's face as he works the phlegm down and tries to clear his throat. He doesn't make a sound until he knows that he can. "It's too late, Levi. I'm sorry. Now…go help the others. They need you."
Levi squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head hard enough to make the black tendrils wisp over his forehead. "Dammit, Erwin, don't tell me you're sorry—"
"It's too late! Go!"
The strength of the words coming from such a broken body make Levi freeze. He doesn't even notice the tears starting to sting at his steel eyes. The first time in over a decade. Things start to blur but he barely makes out Erwin's smile. It's full of blood and pain and that does Levi in. He hangs his head and the first tears fall onto Erwin's creaking chest.
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
"Come on, Levi," Erwin is wheezing again. "It's gotta be you now—"
"What?"
"Gotta be you, now…you know."
"No. Fuck no! You can't—" His voice fails him.
"You can. I be…believe in….always have….you know…"
And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
The sob comes out at the same time Eren Jaeger screams his name from the sky. But Levi doesn't care. He bends forward, shaking…crying. His forehead meets Erwin's chest and the hand that had no strength somehow comes up to hold his head there.
"You can," Erwin says again, and the sound is close and warm, losing heat fast.
"Please…" he moans, and it dies on his lips. The tears make Erwin's jacket wet.
And I will swallow my pride
"You can. I know." It's barely audible now.
"HEICHOU! PLEASE!"
He chokes on his tears and convulses against his commander. Erwin's hand is shaken loose and it falls. The screech of wires come slamming down and feet after that. A gasp.
"Levi Heichou, please come help. Everyone is…."
His head is spinning out of control. Where did the hand go? Why isn't it touching him anymore? He wants it back, needs it back more badly than he needs to breathe. Who the fuck is talking to him?
"Don't leave," he whispers into the fabric on the chest that has stopped creaking.
A scuffle behind him as feet rush through the red, slippery grass and then hands are touching his shoulders, trying to pry him off of his purpose.
His meaning.
He loses contact somehow and he's floating away, being pulled backward by the blood-soaked hands of a blood-soaked boy who needs him.
Levi tries to call back to the man that he…to the form that even now, even like this, still looks like a force to be reckoned with, but he can't even manage to choke out his name.
You're the one that I love
"Come on, come on, Heichou, please!" Eren is begging him, tugging at his arms, at his clothes, pulling him farther and farther away from the commander.
Levi is sputtering on his own phlegm now, coughing through tears, gagging out, "Erwin!"
And I'm saying goodbye
"He's dead!" Eren cries, and Levi is too far gone to notice that the boy is sobbing even harder than he is. "He's dead! Come on, please! We needyou!" And another Titan falls, but the soldiers' screams never stop.
Dead? He can't be dead. He fucking can't be dead, stupid fucking brat! Levi snaps back to life and whips around fast enough to send Eren flying. He lands a few feet away with a yelp of pain.
Erwin can't die. The man is invincible. He's…he's the universe. He's gravity.
"Lee-hee-vi please, plea-hease, everyone's dying."
He finds Eren at his feet, clutching at his pant legs, dirt and blood smearing his face. "No…he can't…" is all that he says, and Eren's face contorts past desperation into a mask of pure pain. Levi shakes the boy off and stumbles back to the commander.
He's not dead, he's not. He can't die. What am I if Erwin dies? He shakes his head.
Behind him there is the wet, shaking, pitiful sound of Eren's weeping for a few moments and then a flash of green and a clap of thunder.
Levi sinks back down in the blood. It's everywhere now. It has soaked through Levi's cloak and dripped freely from the stump of Erwin's arm. But it's not really dripping any more. "Erwin," he says, grabbing him too roughly. He is stiff in his hands. "Say something!"
But there is nothing other than the screams from above and the roar of a miserable Titan boy forced to become a monster again because two great men failed him.
"Fucking say something! You're wrong! You're wrong, dammit, I can't do this without you!" he keeps on screaming. It's a broken mantra from a shattered man and the ground quakes beneath him, threatening to swallow him whole.
He stares down at him, at his blue orbs now frozen, at his chiseled face—still perfect, somehow—and yet…it finally becomes obvious.
It's nothing more than a whisper, "Erwin?"
Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something...
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