Dear Diary,
Let me tell you something nobody else knows. It was no mistake that when I saw him, I said that he was a hobo. A poor hobo, at that. Because I thought that if I called him that, I would finally convince herself that I hated him. But I couldn't convince myself of anything of the sort. It only made me love him more, because to look like, well, that, he'd needed to have had gone through some sort of hardships, and everyone knows that hardships make you stronger and a better person. Well, that's what I'd like to believe.
And as I saw him out of the window from the corner of my eye, I wasn't sure if I should scream, cry, smash the windows to hug him, hit him on the head with a flower vase, or what. So I just pretended I didn't know him, didn't recognize him. I was shocked he actually believed my performance. How could I not recognize the face I had grown to love so much? The only change about him was the extra hair! That was it! So did he have that much doubt in me that I couldn't recognize someone I'd be swooning over my entire life?
I certainly hope not. I may not be as smart as Velma, but I do have common sense. Like, when a guy leaves you behind to take care of his own business and breaks off your engagement, that you should hate him and want to crush his guts and make his life miserable. And yet I couldn't make herself feel that way about Fred. He's my Fred! How else was I supposed to feel about him? I love him, and I hate him for being so lovable. That's some complicated love, I'll tell you that much. I didn't feel that way about Baylor, that was for sure. I mean, whose last name is Hotner? Seriously! He's not even that hot! He just has those-those-things that he calls muscles (which really look like a freaky meat package cut up into six pieces). And then the back muscles? Can you say disgusting? And the whole time I have to pretend I actually like him? It was so hard to act like that when all I really wanted to do was leap into Fred's arms and tell him that I did still love him and that I'd do anything for him. I guess that's what all those acting classes were for!
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IT'S FRUSTRATING! Sorry, I just needed to vent and say it already. Well, write it. Same thing. But I do. And I freaking hate it! It's so annoying trying to not act in love with someone who you know you do love. I don't know if I can make it... I have a feeling I might just break down... But whenever Fred tries to go on a 'practice-date' with me, I can't help but give a little squeal inside my head. I remember how it was before, where I was always swooning over him and gushing about our wedding and everything, so I guess this is better. But who knew that getting Fred to act so... romantic?... that I'd need to go through such pain and misery! Well, I guess it's not that bad, but still!
Oh, and BTW- I have a new project I'm working on. I call it 'ShElma'! Get it? I mashed Shaggy and Velma's names together! So basically, I want to set them up. I mean, it was so cute when they were dating and everything, since neither of them are necessarily what you may call 'normal'. Besides, I just found it adorable whenever they would sit in the back of the Mystery Machine together. And I know both of them still like each other, so... My plan is ingenious! I don't really know what the plan entails (big word! Yay me!) but I do know that it should involve Valentine's Day, going to the movies, the Mystery Machine breaking down, and, well, you get the drift. Hey, I guess I really do have an idea of what I should do! I'll get started right away. This plan is perfect! insert evil mad scientist laugh here. Well, that's all.
More later!
Daphne Blake