You assume the usual position under the bleachers this morning, as you do every morning, to get your first dose of pleasure for the day. You've already retrieved a cigarette from your stash and are about to light it when the second participant of the daily ritual finally saunters over.

"G'mornin' Tucker," He smiles at you. "How many is it today?"

Your name is Craig Tucker, you're fifteen, and something is wrong with you. Something is very, very, wrong with you. You are currently jogging away from what you're sure is the biggest mistake you've made in your life so far. You get the impulse to look behind you, where the stream of spastic curses is coming from, but you don't have to. You don't have to look back to know Thomas' face is contorted in surprise, confusion, and most likely repulsion. Fuck it, you're going home and if you're lucky Thomas will be embarrassed enough to never tell anyone else.

You don't stop running till you've successfully locked yourself into your own room. You don't start breathing until you're in your room either. You pull out your cell as you poorly attempt to not hyperventilate; your contacts list isn't particularly long, not like Token's who has the number of practically everyone at school, but your shaky fingers make it tough work to make it down to M.

McCormick.

You type out a quick text, close your phone, and plop back onto your bed to wait. Thankfully, it's not long before you hear the familiar sound of steps climbing the staircase towards your room. You sit up as Kenny comes into your room, not even bothering to knock. "Hey."

"What's up, Tucker? You never text me- it kind of freaked me out a bit." He smiles at you. He's always smiling, you think he smiles more than anyone at school. Well, besides Butters.

You take a breath, " I need your help." Kenny's eyebrows shoot up. You glare them back down. "But if you ever tell anyone what I'm going to tell you, I swear McCormick, I will make your life a living fucking hell. Your home life will feel like the fucking Garden of Eden after I'm-"

"I get it! I get it! Holy shit dude! You really are freaking me out now." You notice that he does actually look worried, so you decide to take a step back.

"Will you help me or not?"

"Yeah, sure dude." Another smile.

"Play therapist with me." You demand calmly as you lay back on your bed again, closing your eyes and waiting for him to start.

At school, everyone assumes you're only friends with the boys in your "gang", but in reality your friendship with Kenny goes back to when you two were ten: when playing pretend was still something you boys all did. You stumbled on Ken at the park alone, which was totally weird- where the hell was his gang? You thought they were always together, but I guess even you can be wrong sometimes. You remember going over to him for the hell of it, adjusting fake glasses and holding up an invisible clipboard. "Hello, I'm Dr. Tucker, what seems to be the problem, kid?"

"Everything." He didn't look up at you from where he was sitting, he probably wasn't interested in playing but you were bored as fuck with nothing else to do so you continued.

"What are you sick or something?"

"Yeah. I'm sick in the head."

Oh. "No, dude. Stop."

"What?"

"If we're playing therapist then you have to lay down." You distinctly remember the smile he gave you before eagerly plopping onto his back in the grass. And then he told you everything: his problems with his friends, his shitty home-life, and his personal dying problem. Apparently he told his gang, but they wouldn't believe him, wouldn't even try to listen really. From then on, you were sort of like, secret friends, hanging out only when you had no one else. And when things got bad you'd make an appointment with your therapist.

It's been a few years since you've played, so it takes a few moments for Ken to realize what you mean, grab your desk chair to sit beside you, and get out his clipboard. "Well hello there Craig, it certainly has been a while since I've seen you in my office."

You watch him pretend to flip through your "charts" or whatever. "Mhm.."

"Okay, uh, what brings you here today?"

"I'm in love."

"Love? That sounds like awesome news!"

You sigh. "With almost every guy we know."

"O-oh..?" He pauses, you really wish he could stay in character like you can. "Would.. you care to elaborate?"

"What's there to fucking elaborate? I want to kiss and bang basically every guy I know and it's driving me insane! I can't even get through lunch period without feeling like I'm gonna faint anymore. Oh and to top it all off I kissed Thomas today."

"Holy shit dude."