Disclaimer: I don't own anything; everything is property of S. Meyer.
AN: one-shot, set in the time when Jacob goes to check if Bella is still human, finally she discovers about Victoria still hunting her and she leaves with Jacob.
AN2: I talked with my beta and as soon as we're back from our holidays we'll start again with imPerfect love, so have faith soon there'll be the next chapter out.
So much more
I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down.
That's the thing about girls.
Every time they do something pretty...
you fall half in love with them,
and then you never know where the hell you are.
(J. D. Salinger)
Bella called Jacob and he slowly turned around. His eyes were dark pools and while once she had seen adoration and love now she could see nothing. And it hurt, much more than she wanted to admit. "Why didn't you answer my calls? Why didn't you call me?"
His reply was quick and short. "Because I had nothing to say to you." He then turned around to walk towards his bike. She knew that half the school was watching greedily to see what was going on, but at that moment she didn't care.
"Jake!" Bella shouted and he stopped but didn't turn. "Jake, wait for me."
A hand on her wrist stopped her. "Love, let him go." Edward whispered.
If it had been any other time she would have melted into her vampire boyfriend's arms and forgot everything, but Jacob was there and he was hurt by her choice and she couldn't really let him go.
"Edward, let me go." She then turned towards him and angrily whispered. "You have to trust me!"
Edward let her go and she run to Jacob. He sat on the bike and she sat behind him. When he passed her his helmet she released the breath that she didn't even know she was holding. He still cared enough to look after her; she put the helmet on and held to him while he ran out of the parking lot.
While Jacob was driving to La Push, she was quietly thinking about everything that had been said between him and Edward.
Her boyfriend once again had lied and tricked her, and she was deeply angry and disappointed. She knew that in his eyes she was a vulnerable human, but it hurt anyway that he never involved her in something that was important in her life.
Was she going to spend eternity with someone who considered her inferior? Would Edward always choose everything for her thus pushing her to obey his every whim?
Jacob had stopped and helped her to get down from the bike.
Bella had enjoyed the fresh air, the speed, the freedom and the warmth that Jacob's body had provided. Lately she had been so cold, not just her body but her heart and soul felt cold. Jacob had started walking towards First Beach not even looking if she was following, she sighed, they always had all their confrontations there. What was it about the place that brought out the best and the worst from both of them?
Their log was still there and he sat heavily on it, it looked like the fight with Edward had taken away the last energy that he had. She didn't sit but stood still in front of him, not close enough to touch him but enough to see the dark circles under his eyes. "When was the last time you slept?" She asked softly.
He sighed still looking down at his feet. "Do you really care to know? Does it really matter to you?"
She bit her lip, feeling guilty because she couldn't love him the way he deserved. It was excruciating to know that she was slowly killing Jacob; it was obvious in the way his shoulders were sagged, in the gaunt look of his face. Her heart break a little bit more, she had hurt him deeper than she expected and unfortunately she knew how it felt to be broken-hearted. "Yes, it matters to me. Jacob, just because I'm with Edward it doesn't mean that I don't care for you."
"Dammit Bella!" He shouted and stood up. "You can't really keep saying these things to me and expect me to believe you! You chose to go to save him even if I begged you to stay, how's that for caring for me?"
He was trembling and she wanted nothing more than to hug him and reassure him, but she knew that she had lost the right to do so.
Everything he had said was right.
She hadn't given him any real reason to believe or trust her. A pang in her heart told her that she had been remiss as a friend. Jacob had been with her at the lowest moment in her life and she had just dumped him in the bin as soon as Edward was back. She had basically deemed him worthless, though she knew that to her he mattered. She still didn't know how much compared to Edward, or to put it better she didn't really want to know.
"Jacob, I…" It was difficult to speak because her mind was a mess, lately she had missed him more than she thought and the little things that Jacob did with and for her had become too important to lose.
"Save it for someone who cares Bella. I'm done with you." Jacob said harshly.
Her eyes widened and fear gripped her heart. He couldn't give her up; he shouldn't be able to do it. She had discovered recently that Jacob was so embedded in her heart that she couldn't accept Edward's marriage proposal. Besides the fact that she didn't much believe in the institution, she knew that she couldn't pledge her loyalty to him when she ached for someone else. "Jacob I know that you're angry, and you've got all the rights to be."
"Damn right you are! I've got enough Bella, I'm a werewolf and the future chief of my tribe, my plate so to speak is full. I don't need to add you in, it's too much. You accept that he makes the decisions for you, he lies and you always forgive him. I've never lied to you, I've never treated you like a child and what do I get? Nothing." Jacob was breathing heavily.
Bella bit her lip and took a deep breath. "This time is different." She whispered. "I honestly don't know if I'll be able to forgive him. I was already angry when he took out the battery of my car because I wanted to see you."
Jacob raised his eyes and his look was of incredulity. "And you let him get away with that? He's manipulating and ordering you around!" He walked to where she was and took her face in his hands. "Bella, when will you open your eyes? He's not good for you. It's not too late to break up." He murmured.
Bella was mesmerized by his eyes, so deep. He had been hurt by her but he was putting his heart on the line again because she meant everything to him. Now she knew that she loved him too but would it be enough? She sighed sadly. "It's not that easy… even if I wanted to leave him, I couldn't… something happened in Italy…"
"Tell me everything and I'm sure we're going to find a solution." He told her resolutely.
She debated for a moment and then she spilled her heart to him. She recounted how the Volturi had got a hold of them and how she had to promise to be changed in order to be able to walk away. Once she had started she didn't hold anything back, she told him of how for as much as she tried she couldn't go back to love Edward the way she had. "And then I realized that I love you Jacob, that I'm in love with you."
Jacob had listened quietly to her story. When she had told him about her love for him he had closed his eyes. When he realized that she had stopped talking he had opened his eyes again. "Do you really love me Bella? Are you ready to leave him for me? Because this is what I'm asking now, if you chose me I'll find a way to protect you I swear it, but I need to know that you belong to me, only to me."
Bella felt her heart miss a beat, was she ready to leave Edward and start a relationship with Jacob? Could she really do it? She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, the salty air and the warmth of Jacob's presence made her feel at peace with herself. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt at home, but here in this beach, in the arms of her best friend, here she felt whole, safe, loved and happy.
"Yes." It was just a whisper, but she knew that with his super-hearing he had heard it.
"Are you sure Bells?" He murmured with his warm breath very close to her lips.
Bella decided that actions speak louder than words; she closed the space between their mouths and kissed him. When he kissed her back with intensity and passion she knew that she had made the right choice.
There would be hardship and pain along the way but now that she was in the arms of the man she wanted to spend her life with, it didn't matter. She was ready to face the future, to grow up, to get married and to have children with the man who will always be at her side, her best friend and her sun.
THE END
